WEBVTT 00:06:30.002 --> 00:06:32.052 You wanted to see me, doctor? 00:06:32.052 --> 00:06:34.076 Have you seen Mrs. Vogler, sister? 00:06:34.076 --> 00:06:35.084 No, not yet. 00:06:35.084 --> 00:06:38.044 Then I will let you know about the situation 00:06:38.044 --> 00:06:42.004 and will explain to you why you must take care of her. 00:06:42.004 --> 00:06:45.004 As you may know, Mrs. Vogler is an actress, 00:06:45.004 --> 00:06:48.064 and was cast as Electra. 00:06:48.064 --> 00:06:51.000 In the middle of the play she went silent 00:06:51.000 --> 00:06:52.076 and looked around as if surprised. 00:06:52.076 --> 00:07:07.008 She stayed silent for a minute. 00:07:07.008 --> 00:07:13.004 Later she excused herself saying that she could not contain her laughter. 00:07:13.004 --> 00:07:15.004 The next day the theater called 00:07:15.004 --> 00:07:18.000 to ask if she had forgotten the rehearsal. 00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:19.096 When the housekeeper went to see her, 00:07:19.096 --> 00:07:21.006 she was still in bed. 00:07:21.006 --> 00:07:26.004 She was awake, but did not respond to her questions and did not move. 00:07:26.004 --> 00:07:28.072 She's been like that for three months 00:07:28.072 --> 00:07:31.064 and they have done all tests imaginable. 00:07:31.064 --> 00:07:33.096 The result is clear: she is totally sane, 00:07:33.096 --> 00:07:37.008 physically as well as mentally. 00:07:37.008 --> 00:07:40.076 This is not even about a hysterical reaction. 00:07:40.076 --> 00:07:43.064 Any questions, Sister Alma? 00:07:43.064 --> 00:07:44.068 No? 00:07:44.068 --> 00:07:54.096 Well then, go with Mrs. Vogler. 00:07:54.096 --> 00:07:58.048 Good day, Mrs. Vogler. 00:07:58.048 --> 00:08:00.032 I am Sister Alma. 00:08:00.032 --> 00:08:06.016 They have put me in charge of taking care of you for some time. 00:08:06.016 --> 00:08:08.076 Maybe I should tell you about myself. 00:08:08.076 --> 00:08:11.076 I am 25 years old and engaged. 00:08:11.076 --> 00:08:15.064 I have been a nurse for two years now. 00:08:15.064 --> 00:08:18.072 My parents have a farm. 00:08:18.072 --> 00:08:23.076 My mother was a nurse before marrying. 00:08:23.076 --> 00:08:25.084 I will go for the dinner plate. 00:08:25.084 --> 00:08:30.004 Fried liver and a fruit salad. This looks very good. 00:08:30.004 --> 00:08:32.064 Would you like to raise your head? 00:08:32.064 --> 00:08:40.048 Are you fine like this? 00:08:40.048 --> 00:08:42.012 Sister Alma. 00:08:42.012 --> 00:08:44.006 What is your first impression? 00:08:44.006 --> 00:08:47.036 I don't know what to say, doctor. 00:08:47.036 --> 00:08:50.008 At first her face seemed sweet, almost infantile. 00:08:50.008 --> 00:08:53.088 Then her eyes... 00:08:53.088 --> 00:08:57.004 She has such a severe stare... 00:08:57.004 --> 00:08:58.056 I don't know, maybe I should... 00:08:58.056 --> 00:09:01.032 What are you thinking Sister Alma? 00:09:01.032 --> 00:09:03.068 Maybe I should turn down this job. 00:09:03.068 --> 00:09:06.028 Has something scared you? 00:09:06.028 --> 00:09:08.006 No, but... 00:09:08.006 --> 00:09:12.028 she should have an older and more experienced nurse. 00:09:12.028 --> 00:09:14.036 Experienced in life. 00:09:14.036 --> 00:09:17.004 It could be that I may not be able. To handle it. To resist? 00:09:17.004 --> 00:09:20.032 Mentally. Mentally? 00:09:20.032 --> 00:09:24.076 If the state of Mrs. Vogler is the result of a decision, 00:09:24.076 --> 00:09:26.052 it should be strong like when she was well. 00:09:26.052 --> 00:09:27.096 And? 00:09:27.096 --> 00:09:31.056 It is a decision that shows great mental strength. 00:09:31.056 --> 00:09:35.032 Maybe I am not up to it. 00:09:35.032 --> 00:09:37.064 Maybe you would like to see the dusk, Mrs. Vogler. 00:09:37.064 --> 00:09:42.084 I will close it later. 00:09:42.084 --> 00:09:45.000 Would you like me to turn on the radio? 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:48.092 There is a radio soap, I think. 00:09:48.092 --> 00:09:51.088 Excuse me, my dear. 00:09:51.088 --> 00:09:54.088 Oh! You must forgive me! 00:09:54.088 --> 00:09:59.072 There is nothing else I desire other than your forgiveness. 00:09:59.072 --> 00:10:04.036 What are you laughing at, Mrs. Vogler? Is the actress,that one that's funny ? 00:10:04.036 --> 00:10:09.072 What do you know about compasion? What do you know? 00:10:09.072 --> 00:10:16.088 What do you know about compasion? 00:10:16.088 --> 00:10:20.006 I don't understand those sort of things, Mrs. Vogler. 00:10:20.006 --> 00:10:25.024 I like cinema and theatre, but I hardly go. 00:10:25.024 --> 00:10:28.092 I feel a great admiration for artists. 00:10:28.092 --> 00:10:32.092 I think art has a great importance in life. 00:10:32.092 --> 00:10:38.036 Especially for those that have serious problems. 00:10:38.036 --> 00:10:43.008 I should talk about those things. I'm skating on ice. 00:10:43.008 --> 00:10:46.056 Let me see if I can find music. 00:10:46.056 --> 00:10:50.076 Is it alright like this? 00:10:50.076 --> 00:12:39.096 Good night, Mrs. Vogler. Sleep well. 00:12:39.096 --> 00:12:49.002 Damn it! 00:12:49.002 --> 00:12:51.048 It's strange. 00:12:51.048 --> 00:12:54.072 One goes through life doing the same things. 00:12:54.072 --> 00:12:59.076 Doing the same things. 00:12:59.076 --> 00:13:03.036 I will marry Karl-Henrik and will have some children... 00:13:03.036 --> 00:13:06.028 that I will raise. 00:13:06.028 --> 00:13:10.004 All of this is decided. It is inside me. 00:13:10.004 --> 00:13:13.052 There is nothing to think. 00:13:13.052 --> 00:13:16.088 It is an enormous feeling of security. 00:13:16.088 --> 00:13:21.004 I have a good job and I am happy with him. 00:13:21.004 --> 00:13:23.004 That is also good, 00:13:23.004 --> 00:13:26.024 but on the other hand. 00:13:26.024 --> 00:13:31.072 But it is good... 00:13:31.072 --> 00:13:40.044 It's good. 00:13:40.044 --> 00:13:46.004 I ask myself what will really happen? 00:13:46.004 --> 00:13:50.052 Elisabeth Vogler... 00:13:50.052 --> 00:13:53.002 Elisabeth... 00:13:53.002 --> 00:13:56.028 .... today, between the American artillery and the South Vietnamese 00:13:56.028 --> 00:13:58.012 and the desperate guerrilla of Vietcong 00:13:58.012 --> 00:14:00.008 that attacked the vital coastal base. 00:14:00.008 --> 00:14:03.024 Marine planes and the American airfoce in Quang 00:14:03.024 --> 00:14:07.012 are bombing positions of the Vietcong army in Tay Ninh. 00:14:07.012 --> 00:14:11.000 Today planes have left on more than 48 bombing missions. 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:14.048 And in other fronts, various American troop batalions, 00:14:14.048 --> 00:14:21.048 landed yesterday in the coast near... 00:14:21.048 --> 00:14:24.044 In this zone more than 2.000 vietcongs were captured 00:14:24.044 --> 00:14:27.028 in the largest operation in the last three months. 00:14:27.028 --> 00:14:31.068 Today the street disturbances... 00:14:31.068 --> 00:15:25.032 .... that have sent more than 141 Vietcongs to the tribunals... 00:15:25.032 --> 00:15:34.084 Would you like me to open the letter, Mrs. Vogler? 00:15:34.084 --> 00:15:42.012 Should I read it? 00:15:42.012 --> 00:15:52.004 Would you like me to read it? 00:15:52.004 --> 00:15:57.008 "Dear Elisabeth: Since they don't permit me to see you, I am writing you. 00:15:57.008 --> 00:16:03.056 If you do not want to read my letter, then you can ignore it. 00:16:03.056 --> 00:16:08.008 I can not stop looking for contact with you, 00:16:08.008 --> 00:16:11.052 since I am tormented constantly by one question: 00:16:11.052 --> 00:16:17.084 Have I hurt you in any way? Have I hurt you without knowing? 00:16:17.084 --> 00:16:27.006 Is there a terrible misunderstanding between us?" 00:16:27.006 --> 00:16:37.092 Do you think I should keep reading this? 00:16:37.092 --> 00:16:41.000 "Lately we were happy; as far I thought. 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:47.004 We'd had never been so close to each other. 00:16:47.004 --> 00:16:49.008 Do you remember when you'd say: 00:16:49.008 --> 00:16:54.024 "Now I understand marriage"? 00:16:54.024 --> 00:16:57.004 You have shown me..." 00:16:57.004 --> 00:17:01.028 I do not understand... 00:17:01.028 --> 00:17:09.024 Yes. "... that we should see each other like two anxious children, 00:17:09.024 --> 00:17:13.088 Full of good will and the best intentions, 00:17:13.088 --> 00:17:17.044 but gov... 00:17:17.044 --> 00:17:22.052 But govern by forces that we only parcially control. 00:17:22.052 --> 00:17:26.036 Do you remember saying all this? 00:17:26.036 --> 00:17:28.088 We walked through the woods 00:17:28.088 --> 00:17:39.036 and you stopped me holding from my belt..." 00:17:39.036 --> 00:17:43.004 There is also a picture with the letter. 00:17:43.004 --> 00:17:47.044 It is a picture of your son... I don't know if... 00:17:47.044 --> 00:17:51.036 Would you like to see it, Mrs. Vogler? 00:17:51.036 --> 00:18:24.044 He looks like such a sweet child. 00:18:24.044 --> 00:18:26.052 I have been thinking, Elisabeth, 00:18:26.052 --> 00:18:29.096 and I don't think you should still be in the hospital. 00:18:29.096 --> 00:18:32.008 I think it is for the worse. 00:18:32.008 --> 00:18:35.000 Since you don't want to return home, you and Sister Alma 00:18:35.000 --> 00:18:40.044 can go my house on the coast, eh? 00:18:40.044 --> 00:18:43.016 You think I don't understand? 00:18:43.016 --> 00:18:45.096 The impossible dream. 00:18:45.096 --> 00:18:50.002 Not of seeming, but of being. 00:18:50.002 --> 00:18:55.024 Conscious every moment. Vigilant. 00:18:55.024 --> 00:18:56.068 At the same time, 00:18:56.068 --> 00:19:00.036 the abiss between what you are for others and for yourself, 00:19:00.036 --> 00:19:03.096 the feeling of vertigo and the constant desire 00:19:03.096 --> 00:19:07.008 at least, of being exposed, 00:19:07.008 --> 00:19:11.012 of being analalized, dissected, 00:19:11.012 --> 00:19:14.052 maybe even annihilated. 00:19:14.052 --> 00:19:18.012 Every word a lie, every gesture a falsehood, 00:19:18.012 --> 00:19:20.096 every smile a grimace. 00:19:20.096 --> 00:19:23.006 Suicide? 00:19:23.006 --> 00:19:27.036 ¡Oh, no! That is horrible. 00:19:27.036 --> 00:19:29.004 You would not do such a thing. 00:19:29.004 --> 00:19:32.008 But you can stay immobile and in silence. 00:19:32.008 --> 00:19:34.096 At least that way you don't lie. 00:19:34.096 --> 00:19:38.052 You can close within yourself. alienate yourself? 00:19:38.052 --> 00:19:40.032 This way you will not have to act roles, 00:19:40.032 --> 00:19:43.064 and not put on false gestures. 00:19:43.064 --> 00:19:46.004 You think. 00:19:46.004 --> 00:19:48.072 But, do you see? Reality is in the way, 00:19:48.072 --> 00:19:51.064 your hiding place is not impenetrable. 00:19:51.064 --> 00:19:57.056 Life sweeps in through everywhere. 00:19:57.056 --> 00:20:00.008 And you are obliged to react. 00:20:00.008 --> 00:20:04.004 No one asks if it is real or unreal, if you are true or false. 00:20:04.004 --> 00:20:09.052 The question is only important in theatre. 00:20:09.052 --> 00:20:12.008 And almost not even there. 00:20:12.008 --> 00:20:15.016 I understand you, Elisabeth. 00:20:15.016 --> 00:20:18.006 I understand that you are in silence, that you are immobile, 00:20:18.006 --> 00:20:23.002 that you have placed this lack of will in such a fantastic system. 00:20:23.002 --> 00:20:26.088 I understand you and admire you. 00:20:26.088 --> 00:20:31.048 I think you should maintain this role until it ends, 00:20:31.048 --> 00:20:33.006 until it stops being interesting. 00:20:33.006 --> 00:20:35.028 The you can leave it. 00:20:35.028 --> 00:20:44.002 The same way that you left little by little the others. 00:20:44.002 --> 00:20:47.068 Mrs. Vogler and the sister left for the the doctor's house 00:20:47.068 --> 00:20:49.084 at the end of the summer. 00:20:49.084 --> 00:20:54.024 Being close to the sea produced a favorable effect on the actress. 00:20:54.024 --> 00:20:58.068 The apathy that had crippled her was left behind for long walks, 00:20:58.068 --> 00:21:00.008 fishing, cooking, 00:21:00.008 --> 00:21:03.004 writing letters and other entertainments. 00:21:03.004 --> 00:21:06.000 Sister Alma enjoyed her rural reclusion 00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:49.052 and her patient. 00:21:49.052 --> 00:22:10.044 Don't you know that it's bad luck compare hands? 00:22:10.044 --> 00:22:12.056 Elisabeth, 00:22:12.056 --> 00:22:15.032 may I read you something from my book? 00:22:15.032 --> 00:22:18.068 Oh, am I bothering you? It starts like this: 00:22:18.068 --> 00:22:21.006 "All the anxiety that we carry with us, 00:22:21.006 --> 00:22:25.036 our frustrated dreams, the incomprehensible cruelty, 00:22:25.036 --> 00:22:27.092 our fear of extinction, 00:22:27.092 --> 00:22:31.052 the interior painful view of our terrestrial condition, 00:22:31.052 --> 00:22:34.002 have slowly eroded our hope 00:22:34.002 --> 00:22:37.016 and any other salvation. 00:22:37.016 --> 00:22:41.008 The bellow of our faith and doubt against darkness and silence 00:22:41.008 --> 00:22:45.072 it is one of our most terrible tests of our abandonment 00:22:45.072 --> 00:22:50.088 and of our terrified and indescribable knowledge." 00:22:50.088 --> 00:22:56.092 Do you think it is like this? 00:22:56.092 --> 00:23:00.012 I don't believe it. 00:23:00.012 --> 00:23:01.006 Change... 00:23:01.006 --> 00:23:06.002 My worst defect is laziness and later I feel guilty. 00:23:06.002 --> 00:23:08.052 Karl-Henrik fights with me because of my lack of ambition. 00:23:08.052 --> 00:23:10.008 He says I go about like a zombie. 00:23:10.008 --> 00:23:12.076 I think that's unfair. 00:23:12.076 --> 00:23:15.096 In exams I was the best from my group. 00:23:15.096 --> 00:23:20.008 But it's certain that he refers to something else. 00:23:20.008 --> 00:23:21.008 You know? 00:23:21.008 --> 00:23:25.084 Sorry. Do you know what I sometimes think? 00:23:25.084 --> 00:23:28.000 In the hospital where I was examined 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:30.056 there is a home for elderly nurses. 00:23:30.056 --> 00:23:36.028 Those that always lived for their work. Always in uniform. 00:23:36.028 --> 00:23:38.002 They live in their small rooms. 00:23:38.002 --> 00:23:42.092 Imagine all your life dedicated to something. 00:23:42.092 --> 00:23:46.002 I mean to say, believing in something, carrying out, 00:23:46.002 --> 00:23:49.004 believing that your life has a purpose. 00:23:49.004 --> 00:23:51.024 I like things that way. 00:23:51.024 --> 00:23:54.032 Clinging to one thing intensely, and nothing else matters. 00:23:54.032 --> 00:23:56.002 It should be done. 00:23:56.002 --> 00:23:59.012 Meaning something to the rest. 00:23:59.012 --> 00:24:05.000 You don't think the same? 00:24:05.000 --> 00:24:09.088 I know it seems childish, but I believe in it. 00:24:09.088 --> 00:24:13.052 OH my god!, look at the rain! 00:24:13.052 --> 00:24:15.008 Ah, yes! 00:24:15.008 --> 00:24:16.056 He was married. 00:24:16.056 --> 00:24:18.008 We had a relationship for five years. 00:24:18.008 --> 00:24:21.072 Then he was tired, ofcourse. 00:24:21.072 --> 00:24:25.068 I was so much in love, that's for sure, and he was the first. 00:24:25.068 --> 00:24:30.016 I remember everything like a long torment. 00:24:30.016 --> 00:24:34.072 Long periods of pain and later short periods of... 00:24:34.072 --> 00:24:37.076 It as if you teach me to smoke. 00:24:37.076 --> 00:24:40.048 He used to smoke a lot. 00:24:40.048 --> 00:24:42.072 Thinking about it now, it is really common, 00:24:42.072 --> 00:24:46.096 cheap fiction. 00:24:46.096 --> 00:24:51.012 In a certain way, it was never real. 00:24:51.012 --> 00:24:54.000 I don't know how to describe it. 00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:57.088 At least, I was never real for him. 00:24:57.088 --> 00:25:02.032 My pain was real, that's certain. 00:25:02.032 --> 00:25:05.036 It seems that I was part of it, 00:25:05.036 --> 00:25:07.044 but in a disagreable manner, 00:25:07.044 --> 00:25:10.096 like it had to that way. 00:25:10.096 --> 00:25:20.002 Including the things we said to each other... 00:25:20.002 --> 00:25:23.036 Many people have told me that that I am a good listerner. 00:25:23.036 --> 00:25:25.004 Funny, eh? 00:25:25.004 --> 00:25:28.008 But no one has bothered to listen to me. 00:25:28.008 --> 00:25:31.012 Like you are doing now. You are listening. 00:25:31.012 --> 00:25:34.084 I think you are the first person to have listened to me. 00:25:34.084 --> 00:25:39.028 It can't be that interesting. I think it might be better to read a book. 00:25:39.028 --> 00:25:42.008 God!, and I continue. Am I bothering you? 00:25:42.008 --> 00:25:44.076 It is so nice to talk. 00:25:44.076 --> 00:25:46.072 one feels so warm and well. 00:25:46.072 --> 00:25:51.084 I have never felt this way in my life. 00:25:51.084 --> 00:25:53.064 I always wanted a sister 00:25:53.064 --> 00:25:56.016 and I only have a bunch of brothers. Seven. 00:25:56.016 --> 00:25:58.048 Funny, eh? And then I arrived. 00:25:58.048 --> 00:26:02.064 All of my life has been sorrounded by boys. 00:26:02.064 --> 00:26:05.004 I like boys, 00:26:05.004 --> 00:26:10.004 but you should know that with all of your acting experience. 00:26:10.004 --> 00:26:13.044 I really like Karl-Henrik . 00:26:13.044 --> 00:26:16.004 But, as you know, you only love one time. 00:26:16.004 --> 00:26:18.048 I am faithful to him. 00:26:18.048 --> 00:26:25.048 In my profession there are opportunities, I am telling you. 00:26:25.048 --> 00:26:29.008 Karl-Henrik and I had rented a house next to the sea. 00:26:29.008 --> 00:26:33.006 It was June and we were alone. 00:26:33.006 --> 00:26:38.052 One day, Karl-Henrik had to go to the city, and I went to the beach alone. 00:26:38.052 --> 00:26:42.076 It was trully great. 00:26:42.076 --> 00:26:45.002 There was also another girl. 00:26:45.002 --> 00:26:48.006 She lived in a nearby island, but had come to our beach 00:26:48.006 --> 00:26:53.016 because it was facing the south and much more protected. 00:26:53.016 --> 00:26:57.012 And we layed down to sunbathed completely naked. 00:26:57.012 --> 00:27:02.032 We slept a little, and then we rubbed suntan oil. 00:27:02.032 --> 00:27:07.028 We had on those cheap straw hats... 00:27:07.028 --> 00:27:12.048 Mine had a blue ribbon. 00:27:12.048 --> 00:27:15.092 I was laying and looking from underneath it. 00:27:15.092 --> 00:27:19.092 I contemplated the view, the sea and the sun. 00:27:19.092 --> 00:27:27.052 It was so very strange. 00:27:27.052 --> 00:27:33.004 Suddenly I saw two figures jumping from the rocks and on top of us. 00:27:33.004 --> 00:27:37.000 They would hide and then spy after us. 00:27:37.000 --> 00:27:39.092 "There are two boys looking at us", I said to her. 00:27:39.092 --> 00:27:42.096 She was called Katarina. 00:27:42.096 --> 00:27:48.012 "Well then, let them look", she said. And then she turned around. 00:27:48.012 --> 00:27:51.008 It was a very strange sensation. 00:27:51.008 --> 00:27:55.088 I wanted to hide and dress, but I just stayed still 00:27:55.088 --> 00:27:58.052 face down, with my ass on the air, 00:27:58.052 --> 00:28:04.048 totally ashamed, totally quiet. 00:28:04.048 --> 00:28:07.004 The whole time I had Katarina next to me, 00:28:07.004 --> 00:28:10.008 with her thick chest and thighs. 00:28:10.008 --> 00:28:17.012 She was there, laying, laughing a little to herself. 00:28:17.012 --> 00:28:20.028 Suddendly I saw the two boys getting close and looking. 00:28:20.028 --> 00:28:23.032 I saw that they were extremely young. 00:28:23.032 --> 00:28:27.002 Then , one of them, 00:28:27.002 --> 00:28:29.002 the bolder one, 00:28:29.002 --> 00:28:31.076 got right close to us 00:28:31.076 --> 00:28:35.096 and then he started crouching next to Katarina. 00:28:35.096 --> 00:28:43.008 He pretended to be holding his foot and he seated to touch his toes. 00:28:43.008 --> 00:28:47.044 I was feeling totally strange. 00:28:47.044 --> 00:28:51.056 Then unexpectedly Katarina said: 00:28:51.056 --> 00:28:54.068 "Well aren't going to get on top?" 00:28:54.068 --> 00:28:59.008 And then she touched his hand and helped him get undressed. 00:28:59.008 --> 00:29:02.000 Suddenly he was on top of her, 00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:06.092 and she was helping and was holding his behind. 00:29:06.092 --> 00:29:11.004 The other boy simply sat and observed. 00:29:11.004 --> 00:29:15.092 I heard Katarina whisper on his ear and laugh. 00:29:15.092 --> 00:29:19.048 I had his face directly in front of mine. 00:29:19.048 --> 00:29:24.096 It was all red and swollen. 00:29:24.096 --> 00:29:30.032 Suddenly I turned around and said: Aren't you going to come with me?" 00:29:30.032 --> 00:29:33.004 Katarina said: "Now go with her". 00:29:33.004 --> 00:29:38.072 And he left her and landed on me, completely hard. 00:29:38.072 --> 00:29:44.006 He grabbed one of my breasts. God, how it hurt! 00:29:44.006 --> 00:29:49.068 And in some way I was ready and I came immediately... 00:29:49.068 --> 00:29:54.024 I was going to tell him: "Be careful so I won't be pregnant", 00:29:54.024 --> 00:29:57.004 when he came. I felt... 00:29:57.004 --> 00:30:03.068 I felt , for the first time in my life, how he poured inside me. 00:30:03.068 --> 00:30:06.076 He grabbed me by the shoulders and arched backwards. 00:30:06.076 --> 00:30:12.028 I came again and again. 00:30:12.028 --> 00:30:19.036 Katarina was now on his side, looking at him, and held him from behind. 00:30:19.036 --> 00:30:25.092 When he came, she hugged him and grabbed his hand to masterbate with. 00:30:25.092 --> 00:30:36.012 When she came,she cried so much. 00:30:36.012 --> 00:30:38.068 Then we all three started to laugh. 00:30:38.068 --> 00:30:41.068 We called the other boy that was seating. 00:30:41.068 --> 00:30:48.004 His name was Peter. 00:30:48.004 --> 00:30:55.000 He was confused, and with the aspect of being completly frozen in the sun. 00:30:55.000 --> 00:30:56.084 Katarina unbuttoned his pants 00:30:56.084 --> 00:30:59.008 and started to play with him. 00:30:59.008 --> 00:31:04.002 He came in her mouth. 00:31:04.002 --> 00:31:07.004 He bent forward and started to kiss her on her back. 00:31:07.004 --> 00:31:10.004 She turned around, grabbed his head with both hands 00:31:10.004 --> 00:31:11.068 and offered her breast. 00:31:11.068 --> 00:31:13.044 The other boy was so excited , 00:31:13.044 --> 00:31:17.024 that we both started again. 00:31:17.024 --> 00:31:21.088 It was as good as the first time. 00:31:21.088 --> 00:31:24.036 Then we swamp and said good bye. 00:31:24.036 --> 00:31:30.084 When I returned home, Karl-Henrik had was home. 00:31:30.084 --> 00:31:36.068 We dined together and drank the red wine he had brought. 00:31:36.068 --> 00:31:39.064 Then we slept together. 00:31:39.064 --> 00:31:43.072 Never had it been that good, not before or after. 00:31:43.072 --> 00:31:45.036 Can you understand? 00:31:45.036 --> 00:31:49.044 I ended up pregnant, but ofcourse. 00:31:49.044 --> 00:31:55.008 Karl-Henrik, which was studying medicine, took me to a friend and had it aborted. 00:31:55.008 --> 00:31:59.092 We were both happy. We did not want children. 00:31:59.092 --> 00:32:08.024 Well at least for the moment. 00:32:08.024 --> 00:32:11.004 It didn't make sense. 00:32:11.004 --> 00:32:14.064 Him and I did not fit. 00:32:14.064 --> 00:32:17.006 Later one has a bad conscience for the little things, 00:32:17.006 --> 00:32:19.092 Do you understand? 00:32:19.092 --> 00:32:22.088 What happens with everything you believe in? 00:32:22.088 --> 00:32:27.028 Isn't it needed? 00:32:27.028 --> 00:32:31.002 Can you be one and the same person in a time? 00:32:31.002 --> 00:32:33.008 I mean to say, I was two people? 00:32:33.008 --> 00:32:37.012 God, I am so dumb! 00:32:37.012 --> 00:32:41.004 In any case, I don't have any reason for whining. 00:32:41.004 --> 00:33:04.004 Wait, I am going to go get a tissue. 00:33:04.004 --> 00:33:06.008 It is almost daylight 00:33:06.008 --> 00:33:15.052 and it keeps on raining. 00:33:15.052 --> 00:33:18.004 Imagine, I have been talking without stoping. 00:33:18.004 --> 00:33:20.028 I have been speaking and you have been listening. 00:33:20.028 --> 00:33:22.012 What a bore it must be for you! 00:33:22.012 --> 00:33:25.072 What interest can be my life be to you? 00:33:25.072 --> 00:33:30.008 One should be like you. 00:33:30.008 --> 00:33:33.096 You know what I saw when I say your movie last night? 00:33:33.096 --> 00:33:40.000 When I got home, I saw myself in the mirror and thought: "we are the same." 00:33:40.000 --> 00:33:41.084 Don't misunderstande me, you are much more better looking, 00:33:41.084 --> 00:33:43.096 but we are similar. 00:33:43.096 --> 00:33:48.008 I think I could become you, if I made a real effort. 00:33:48.008 --> 00:33:52.044 I mean from the inside. 00:33:52.044 --> 00:33:56.076 You could become me like this, with nothing else. 00:33:56.076 --> 00:33:58.064 Although your soul would be much bigger. 00:33:58.064 --> 00:34:04.092 I would overflow all over. 00:34:04.092 --> 00:34:22.056 You should sleep, if not, you will sleep on the table. 00:34:22.056 --> 00:34:27.044 No, I should sleep, If not, I will sleep on the table 00:34:27.044 --> 00:34:33.044 and that would be a bit uncomfortable. 00:34:33.044 --> 00:37:28.000 Good night. 00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:32.024 Listen, Elisabeth... 00:37:32.024 --> 00:38:04.072 Did you call me last night? 00:38:04.072 --> 00:38:48.012 Last night, were you in my bedroom? 00:38:48.012 --> 00:38:51.052 Do you also want me to take your mail. 00:38:51.052 --> 00:38:55.024 Can you give me a sip? 00:38:55.024 --> 00:40:00.068 Good bye. 00:40:00.068 --> 00:40:03.044 "Dear doctor: I always wanted to live this way. 00:40:03.044 --> 00:40:05.084 This silence, to live isolated, 00:40:05.084 --> 00:40:08.024 feeling how the maltreated soul 00:40:08.024 --> 00:40:15.044 started to finally heal. 00:40:15.044 --> 00:40:20.006 Alma is spoiling me in the most moving manner. 00:40:20.006 --> 00:40:23.024 I think, by the way, that she is enjoying it 00:40:23.024 --> 00:40:25.004 and that she likes me a lot, 00:40:25.004 --> 00:40:29.044 she is even excited in a delicious and unconscious way. 00:40:29.044 --> 00:40:40.084 It is fun to study her. 00:40:40.084 --> 00:40:42.084 Sometimes she cries for past sins, 00:40:42.084 --> 00:40:45.084 like an orgiastic episode with an unknown guy. 00:40:45.084 --> 00:40:47.024 Followed by an abortion. 00:40:47.024 --> 00:40:49.064 Complains that her life's concepts 00:40:49.064 --> 00:46:22.008 dont agree with her actions. " 00:46:22.008 --> 00:46:25.024 I see that you are reading theatre. 00:46:25.024 --> 00:46:31.068 That is a good sign. I will tell the doctor. 00:46:31.068 --> 00:46:33.084 Don't you think we should leave soon? 00:46:33.084 --> 00:46:53.016 I am starting to miss the city. Don't you? 00:46:53.016 --> 00:46:56.092 Would you really like to make me happy? 00:46:56.092 --> 00:47:01.036 I know it is a sacrifice, but Ineed your help right now. 00:47:01.036 --> 00:47:05.006 It is nothing dangerous. I want you to talk to me. 00:47:05.006 --> 00:47:08.006 It doesn't have to be anything special. Anything. 00:47:08.006 --> 00:47:11.032 What are we having for dinner 00:47:11.032 --> 00:47:13.096 or if you think that the water is cold after a storm 00:47:13.096 --> 00:47:16.056 or too cold to go swimming. 00:47:16.056 --> 00:47:19.000 We should only need to speak a few minutes. 00:47:19.000 --> 00:47:22.004 One minuto. You could read it from your book. 00:47:22.004 --> 00:47:26.024 Only some words. 00:47:26.024 --> 00:47:30.048 I must not try to get upset. You stay in silence, that is yours. 00:47:30.048 --> 00:47:35.092 But I now need you to speak to me. 00:47:35.092 --> 00:47:41.008 Mi dear wife, can't you say not even a simple word? 00:47:41.008 --> 00:47:44.096 I knew you would oppose. 00:47:44.096 --> 00:47:48.056 You can not know how I feel. 00:47:48.056 --> 00:47:51.036 I always thought that the great artist felt 00:47:51.036 --> 00:47:54.052 great compasion for the rest, 00:47:54.052 --> 00:47:57.004 that he created from a great understanding of sympathy 00:47:57.004 --> 00:47:59.028 and the necessity to help. 00:47:59.028 --> 00:48:04.072 Stupid me. 00:48:04.072 --> 00:48:06.056 You have used me! 00:48:06.056 --> 00:48:11.002 Now that you don't need me you throw me without more! 00:48:11.002 --> 00:48:14.088 Yes, I hear very well how it sounds!, how false it sounds! 00:48:14.088 --> 00:48:17.024 You have used me and now you get rid of me! 00:48:17.024 --> 00:48:28.096 Every word! And then, this glasses! 00:48:28.096 --> 00:48:31.068 You have really hurt me. 00:48:31.068 --> 00:48:36.004 You have laughed behind my back. 00:48:36.004 --> 00:48:39.092 I read the letter you sent the doctor, it wasn't sealed. 00:48:39.092 --> 00:48:44.028 And I read it all! 00:48:44.028 --> 00:48:46.048 You made me talk! 00:48:46.048 --> 00:48:48.096 You made me say things that I would never have told anyone. 00:48:48.096 --> 00:48:51.084 And you tell them! A study, eh? 00:48:51.084 --> 00:48:53.088 ¡You aren't...! 00:48:53.088 --> 00:48:57.024 Well now you are going to talk, if you have something to say! 00:48:57.024 --> 00:49:11.088 You are a rotten...! 00:49:11.088 --> 00:49:24.072 ¡No, still! 00:49:24.072 --> 00:49:28.008 You were really scared, eh? 00:49:28.008 --> 00:49:33.008 For one second you have really been afraid, no? 00:49:33.008 --> 00:49:36.016 a real fear of death, eh? 00:49:36.016 --> 00:49:38.084 You thought that Alma had become crazy. 00:49:38.084 --> 00:49:42.012 What kind of person are really? 00:49:42.012 --> 00:49:45.056 Or do you think like this: "I will always remember that face, 00:49:45.056 --> 00:49:48.004 that tone of voice, that expression." 00:49:48.004 --> 00:50:11.006 I will give something that you will not forget! 00:50:11.006 --> 00:50:15.016 You like, right? 00:50:15.016 --> 00:50:18.008 For me it is not that simple... 00:50:18.008 --> 00:50:20.096 nor that funny. 00:50:20.096 --> 00:51:45.000 But you always had your smile. 00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:49.076 It must be like that? 00:51:49.076 --> 00:51:52.052 Is it really important not to lie? 00:51:52.052 --> 00:51:56.088 to speak with a truthful tone? 00:51:56.088 --> 00:52:00.036 Can one live without speaking freely? 00:52:00.036 --> 00:52:05.056 To Lie, flee and avoid things. 00:52:05.056 --> 00:52:12.004 Isn't it better let oneself and be lazy and forgetful, false? 00:52:12.004 --> 00:52:20.004 Maybe you would be better if you allowed yourself to be what you are. 00:52:20.004 --> 00:52:23.024 No, you don't understand. 00:52:23.024 --> 00:52:27.000 You don't understand what I am saying. YOu are inaccessible. 00:52:27.000 --> 00:52:31.002 They said you were mentally sane, but your crazyness is the worst. 00:52:31.002 --> 00:52:32.084 You act as if you were sane. 00:52:32.084 --> 00:52:35.004 You do it so well that all believe you. 00:52:35.004 --> 00:52:45.002 All except for me, because I know how rotten you are. 00:52:45.002 --> 00:52:47.084 What am I doing? 00:52:47.084 --> 00:52:49.008 ¡Elisabeth! 00:52:49.008 --> 00:52:51.092 ¡Elisabeth, forgive me! 00:52:51.092 --> 00:52:55.044 I have behaved like an idiot, I don't know what's happened to me. 00:52:55.044 --> 00:53:00.032 I am here to help you, but when I saw that horrible letter... 00:53:00.032 --> 00:53:06.016 I felt very betrayed. You asked me to talk about myself. 00:53:06.016 --> 00:53:08.072 It was nice, you seemed to compassionate. 00:53:08.072 --> 00:53:10.002 I had drank to much... 00:53:10.002 --> 00:53:13.032 It was so nice to be able to talk about that. 00:53:13.032 --> 00:53:19.004 I was also flattered because a great actress was listening. 00:53:19.004 --> 00:53:24.052 I thought it would be alright to tell it, if it would help you. 00:53:24.052 --> 00:53:28.004 But that is terrible, really? Total exhibitioniscm! 00:53:28.004 --> 00:53:31.000 Elisabeth, I want you to forgive me. 00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:34.024 I value you very much, you mean so much to me. 00:53:34.024 --> 00:54:00.016 I have learned so much from you, I don't want us to separate like enemies. 00:54:00.016 --> 00:54:03.092 Don't you want to forgive me! You have to much pride! 00:54:03.092 --> 00:54:07.006 You are not humiliating yourself, because you don't have to do it. 00:54:07.006 --> 00:58:06.076 I will not do it! I will not do it! 00:58:06.076 --> 00:58:08.076 We don't speak, 00:58:08.076 --> 00:58:14.036 we don't listen, we don't understand... 00:58:14.036 --> 00:58:16.056 Elisabeth? 00:58:16.056 --> 00:59:02.008 What does it mean to be able...? 00:59:02.008 --> 00:59:07.056 When you sleep your face is flaccid. 00:59:07.056 --> 00:59:13.008 The face is swollen and ugly. 00:59:13.008 --> 00:59:23.032 You have an ugly wrinkle on the face. 00:59:23.032 --> 00:59:30.000 You smell of sleep and tears . 00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:33.084 I see your pulse beat on your throat. 00:59:33.084 --> 00:59:36.008 You have a scar that you normally cover with makeup. 00:59:36.008 --> 00:59:39.076 ¡Elisabeth! 00:59:39.076 --> 00:59:42.056 ¡Elisabeth! 00:59:42.056 --> 00:59:46.004 Is calling again. 00:59:46.004 --> 00:59:49.036 I will find out what they want from us. 00:59:49.036 --> 01:00:14.002 Here, far, in our solitude. 01:00:14.002 --> 01:00:16.056 ¡Elisabeth! 01:00:16.056 --> 01:00:18.004 Elisabeth? 01:00:18.004 --> 01:00:21.052 Sorry if I have frightened you. 01:00:21.052 --> 01:00:23.072 I am not Elisabeth. 01:00:23.072 --> 01:00:26.032 I don't come here asking you for anything. 01:00:26.032 --> 01:00:28.068 I didn't want to bother you. 01:00:28.068 --> 01:00:30.084 You think I don't understand? 01:00:30.084 --> 01:00:34.088 The doctor explained things. 01:00:34.088 --> 01:00:38.036 The most difficult is explaining to the child. 01:00:38.036 --> 01:00:42.000 I do what I can. 01:00:42.000 --> 01:00:47.004 There something that lies deep that is difficult to see. 01:00:47.004 --> 01:00:51.044 You love someone; to be exact, you say you love someone. 01:00:51.044 --> 01:00:56.052 It is incomprehensible. Intangible, like words, that's it. 01:00:56.052 --> 01:01:00.000 Mrs. Vogler, I am not your wife. 01:01:00.000 --> 01:01:02.028 YOu are also loved. 01:01:02.028 --> 01:01:04.072 You have created a small sisterhood. 01:01:04.072 --> 01:01:07.008 It generates security. 01:01:07.008 --> 01:01:12.056 Do you see the posibility of it lasting, isn't it like that? 01:01:12.056 --> 01:01:16.008 How can I say everything that I have thought without loosing myself, 01:01:16.008 --> 01:01:26.004 without borring you? 01:01:26.004 --> 01:01:36.052 I love you, just as I had loved you before. 01:01:36.052 --> 01:01:39.092 No, don't be so anxious, my loved one. 01:01:39.092 --> 01:01:41.068 We have each other. 01:01:41.068 --> 01:01:44.008 We have faith, we know our mutual thoughts. 01:01:44.008 --> 01:01:48.006 We love another. It is true, right? 01:01:48.006 --> 01:01:55.006 The most important thing is the effort, not what we obtain, right? 01:01:55.006 --> 01:02:00.024 See each other like children. Defenceless, tormented, alone... 01:02:00.024 --> 01:02:02.008 Elisabeth... 01:02:02.008 --> 01:02:05.088 Tell the boy that I will go soon. 01:02:05.088 --> 01:02:09.064 That mom has been sick, 01:02:09.064 --> 01:02:12.056 but that she has been longing to see her little one. 01:02:12.056 --> 01:02:15.000 Remember to buy him a gift from mommy. 01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:21.008 You know that I have so much tenderness for you... 01:02:21.008 --> 01:02:24.056 It is almost dificult to bear. 01:02:24.056 --> 01:02:29.016 I don't know what to do with my tenderness. 01:02:29.016 --> 01:02:33.004 I live of from kindness. 01:02:33.004 --> 01:02:36.076 Elisabeth, do you like being with me? 01:02:36.076 --> 01:02:40.072 is it nice? 01:02:40.072 --> 01:02:44.008 You are a wonderful lover, you know that. 01:02:44.008 --> 01:02:47.044 and I love you... 01:02:47.044 --> 01:02:49.056 Curse me! Please leave me ! 01:02:49.056 --> 01:02:54.016 ¡No, I can't! I can't endure it anymore! 01:02:54.016 --> 01:02:58.012 Leave me in peace! It is a shame! Everything is a shame! 01:02:58.012 --> 01:03:00.004 Leave me in peace! 01:03:00.004 --> 01:03:03.048 ¡Estoy fría, podrida e indiferente! 01:03:03.048 --> 01:03:13.028 Everything is a lie or imitations! Everything! 01:03:13.028 --> 01:03:15.004 Elisabeth, 01:03:15.004 --> 01:03:17.068 What do you have there? 01:03:17.068 --> 01:03:24.008 What are you hiding under your hand? Let me see. 01:03:24.008 --> 01:03:29.008 It the picture of your boy, the one you had torn. 01:03:29.008 --> 01:03:38.072 We should talk about it. 01:03:38.072 --> 01:03:42.008 Tell me about it, Elisabeth. 01:03:42.008 --> 01:03:45.012 Then I will do it. 01:03:45.012 --> 01:03:48.048 It was one night at a party, right? 01:03:48.048 --> 01:03:52.008 It was late and very loud. 01:03:52.008 --> 01:03:55.084 The dawn was approaching, and someone in the group said: 01:03:55.084 --> 01:03:58.016 "Elisabeth, like a woman and an artist you have it... 01:03:58.016 --> 01:04:00.028 practically everything under your belt, 01:04:00.028 --> 01:04:04.036 but you lack motherly feelings." 01:04:04.036 --> 01:04:08.000 You laughed becuase you thought that it was nonsense. 01:04:08.000 --> 01:04:13.004 After a while, you started to think about what he said. 01:04:13.004 --> 01:04:16.052 It worried you more and more. 01:04:16.052 --> 01:04:19.024 You let your husband impregnate you. 01:04:19.024 --> 01:04:22.056 You wanted to be a mother. 01:04:22.056 --> 01:04:26.004 When you found out that it was true, you became afraid. 01:04:26.004 --> 01:04:31.096 The responsibility frightened you, to be tied, to leave the theatre. 01:04:31.096 --> 01:04:34.008 The pain scared you, death, 01:04:34.008 --> 01:04:38.032 that your body would swell. 01:04:38.032 --> 01:04:40.068 But you acted out the role. 01:04:40.068 --> 01:04:45.032 The role of a future young and happy mother. 01:04:45.032 --> 01:04:47.064 The whole world said: "She is so beautiful." 01:04:47.064 --> 01:04:52.072 "She has never been so beautiful" 01:04:52.072 --> 01:04:57.036 Mean while, you tried to abort several times. 01:04:57.036 --> 01:04:59.096 But you failed. 01:04:59.096 --> 01:05:01.096 When you saw that it was irreversible, 01:05:01.096 --> 01:05:10.004 you started to hate the baby and wanted a still birth. 01:05:10.004 --> 01:05:15.044 You wished that the baby was dead. 01:05:15.044 --> 01:05:22.064 You wanted a dead baby. 01:05:22.064 --> 01:05:25.064 It was a long and difficult birth. 01:05:25.064 --> 01:05:28.096 You were in pain for several days. 01:05:28.096 --> 01:05:31.044 Finally, the baby was born using forceps. 01:05:31.044 --> 01:05:35.068 You saw with disgust and terror your crying child and murmurred: 01:05:35.068 --> 01:05:40.064 "Can't you die soon?" "Can you die?" 01:05:40.064 --> 01:05:44.016 But he survived. 01:05:44.016 --> 01:05:49.068 The boy cried day and night. 01:05:49.068 --> 01:05:52.036 And you hated him. 01:05:52.036 --> 01:05:57.008 You were afraid and felt guilty. 01:05:57.008 --> 01:06:02.000 Finally relatives and a sitter took care of the baby. 01:06:02.000 --> 01:06:08.068 You could now get up from bed and return to theatre. 01:06:08.068 --> 01:06:12.002 But your pain had not ended. 01:06:12.002 --> 01:06:17.032 The boy saw himself trapped by an inmeasurable love for his mother. 01:06:17.032 --> 01:06:19.002 You defend yourself. 01:06:19.002 --> 01:06:21.084 You defend yourself desperately. 01:06:21.084 --> 01:06:24.072 You feel that you can't correspond. 01:06:24.072 --> 01:06:28.028 And you try and keep trying, 01:06:28.028 --> 01:06:31.088 but between you there is only cruel and rough encounters. 01:06:31.088 --> 01:06:36.076 You can't do it. You are cold and indifferent. 01:06:36.076 --> 01:06:38.092 He looks at you. 01:06:38.092 --> 01:06:41.084 He loves you and he is so tender... 01:06:41.084 --> 01:06:46.002 You want to hit him, because he doesn't live you alone. 01:06:46.002 --> 01:06:50.012 You think he is repulsive, with his thick lips and ulgy body , 01:06:50.012 --> 01:06:52.068 with his wet and begging eyes. 01:06:52.068 --> 01:06:56.044 He is repulsive and you are afraid. 01:06:56.044 --> 01:07:01.052 What are you hiding under your hand? 01:07:01.052 --> 01:07:07.002 Let me see. 01:07:07.002 --> 01:07:10.096 It is the picture of your boy, the one you tore. 01:07:10.096 --> 01:07:21.044 We should talk about it. 01:07:21.044 --> 01:07:26.044 Tell me about it, Elisabeth. 01:07:26.044 --> 01:07:30.088 Then I will do it. 01:07:30.088 --> 01:07:34.032 It was a night at a party, right? 01:07:34.032 --> 01:07:38.032 It was late and loud. 01:07:38.032 --> 01:07:42.008 Dawn was approaching and someone from the group said: 01:07:42.008 --> 01:07:44.068 "Elisabeth, like a woman and and artist you have it 01:07:44.068 --> 01:07:47.004 practically everything under your belt, 01:07:47.004 --> 01:07:51.004 but you lack motherly feelings." 01:07:51.004 --> 01:07:55.002 You laughed because you thought it was nonsense. 01:07:55.002 --> 01:07:59.044 After a while, you started to think about what he said. 01:07:59.044 --> 01:08:02.048 It worried you more and more. 01:08:02.048 --> 01:08:06.072 You let your husband impregnate you. 01:08:06.072 --> 01:08:11.024 You wanted to be a mother. 01:08:11.024 --> 01:08:15.044 When you found out that it was true, you became afraid. 01:08:15.044 --> 01:08:17.088 The responsibility frightened you, 01:08:17.088 --> 01:08:22.000 to be tied, to leave the theatre. 01:08:22.000 --> 01:08:24.088 The pain scare you, death, 01:08:24.088 --> 01:08:29.068 that your body would swell. 01:08:29.068 --> 01:08:32.004 But you played the role. 01:08:32.004 --> 01:08:36.064 The role of a future young and happy mother. 01:08:36.064 --> 01:08:39.000 The whole world said: "You are so beautiful. 01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:42.024 You've never been so beautiful." 01:08:42.024 --> 01:08:46.048 Mean while, you tried to abort several times. 01:08:46.048 --> 01:08:50.004 But you failed. 01:08:50.004 --> 01:08:53.096 When you saw that it was irreversible 01:08:53.096 --> 01:08:58.008 You started to hate the baby 01:08:58.008 --> 01:09:04.004 and you wished a still birth. 01:09:04.004 --> 01:09:10.096 You wished that the baby would die. 01:09:10.096 --> 01:09:17.006 You wanted a dead baby. 01:09:17.006 --> 01:09:21.004 It was a long and difficult birth. 01:09:21.004 --> 01:09:24.036 You were in pain for several days. 01:09:24.036 --> 01:09:27.064 Finally, the baby was born using forceps. 01:09:27.064 --> 01:09:31.084 You was with disgust and terror your crying child and murmurred: 01:09:31.084 --> 01:09:36.032 "Can't you die soon?" "Can you die?" 01:09:36.032 --> 01:09:38.096 The day cried day and night 01:09:38.096 --> 01:09:41.068 and you hated him. 01:09:41.068 --> 01:09:47.002 You were afraid and felt guilty. 01:09:47.002 --> 01:09:51.036 Finally some relatives and a sitter took care of the baby. 01:09:51.036 --> 01:09:57.002 You could now get up from bed and return to theatre. 01:09:57.002 --> 01:10:01.004 But the suffering did not end. 01:10:01.004 --> 01:10:06.008 The boy was trapped with an inmeasurable love for his mother. 01:10:06.008 --> 01:10:09.006 You defend desperately. 01:10:09.006 --> 01:10:12.036 You feel that you can't correspond. 01:10:12.036 --> 01:10:15.096 And you try and keep trying, 01:10:15.096 --> 01:10:19.056 but between you there is only cruel and rough encounters. 01:10:19.056 --> 01:10:22.004 You can't do it. 01:10:22.004 --> 01:10:25.002 You are cold and indifferent. 01:10:25.002 --> 01:10:27.044 He looks at you. 01:10:27.044 --> 01:10:30.036 He loves us and is tender... 01:10:30.036 --> 01:10:34.072 You want to hit him because he doesn't leave you in peace. 01:10:34.072 --> 01:10:38.064 You think he is repulsive, with his thick mouth and ugly body, 01:10:38.064 --> 01:10:41.016 with his wet and begging eyes. 01:10:41.016 --> 01:10:51.048 He is repulsive and you are afraid. 01:10:51.048 --> 01:10:54.032 No! 01:10:54.032 --> 01:10:56.064 I am not like you. 01:10:56.064 --> 01:10:59.004 I do not feel like you. 01:10:59.004 --> 01:11:03.004 I am Sister Alma, I am only here to help you. 01:11:03.004 --> 01:11:05.012 I am not Elisabeth Vogler! 01:11:05.012 --> 01:11:07.072 You are Elisabeth Vogler! 01:11:07.072 --> 01:11:10.092 I would like to have...! 01:11:10.092 --> 01:11:14.096 I adore...! 01:11:14.096 --> 01:11:49.028 I don't have... 01:11:49.028 --> 01:12:05.004 I've learnt so much. 01:12:05.004 --> 01:12:13.006 We'll see how long I can last. 01:12:13.006 --> 01:12:17.008 I will never be like you, never. I change all the time. 01:12:17.008 --> 01:12:53.008 You can do whatever you like, it won't affect me. 01:12:53.008 --> 01:12:55.072 Talking is useless. 01:12:55.072 --> 01:12:57.064 Put out the candle. 01:12:57.064 --> 01:12:59.084 It is like being another. 01:12:59.084 --> 01:13:03.052 Now no, no. No, no. 01:13:03.052 --> 01:13:07.084 Cautious and outside time. Unforseen. 01:13:07.084 --> 01:13:11.048 When it was supossed to occur, it didn't, and therefore, failed. 01:13:11.048 --> 01:13:15.006 Stay where you are! But I should do it. 01:13:15.006 --> 01:13:19.076 Not inward, no... Get ready and tell the others... 01:13:19.076 --> 01:13:27.016 The inconsolable and, maybe... 01:13:27.016 --> 01:13:28.096 Here, yes... 01:13:28.096 --> 01:13:31.044 But, what is closer...? 01:13:31.044 --> 01:13:33.016 What do you call it...? 01:13:33.016 --> 01:13:35.048 No, no, no... 01:13:35.048 --> 01:13:38.048 Us, our, you, me... 01:13:38.048 --> 01:15:12.004 Many words and such nausea... Incomprehensible pain. 01:15:12.004 --> 01:15:21.008 Now listen to me. Repeat after me. 01:15:21.008 --> 01:15:26.072 Nothing... 01:15:26.072 --> 01:15:29.044 Nothing. 01:15:29.044 --> 01:15:37.008 No, nothing... 01:15:37.008 --> 01:15:40.084 Nothing. 01:15:40.084 --> 01:15:42.068 That's it. 01:15:42.068 --> 01:15:44.048 That's good. 01:15:44.048 --> 99:59:59.999 That's how it should be.