WEBVTT

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(annoyed) I've been trying to reach 
out to you all day.

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Are we on for tonight?

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(sends text)

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(sighing) Geeze.

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What? You can't catch me.
You can't catch me.

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I'm Lance Moore.
Touchdown, bitch.

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What? Pause.

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(text message alert)

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Awww, shoot.

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Keegan's been texting me.

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Sorry, dude.
Missed your texts.

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I assumed we'd meet at the bar.

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Whatever. I don't care.

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(sends text message)

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(text message alert)

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(rudely) "Sorry, dude.
Missed your text.

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I assumed we'd meet at the bar.

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Whatever. I don't care."

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Whatever, I don't care?!

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What the fuck is his problem?

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(testily) Do you even want to hang out?!

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(calmly) Do you even wanna hang out?

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Oooh. That's considerate.

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Like I said, whatever.

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(angrily) Like I said, whatever?!

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Fuck this guy!

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Jesus, you...

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(calmly) ..are fucking priceless.

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Awwwww! You're the...

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(angrily) ..one who's fucking priceless?!

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This...

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This mother fucker right here.

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Oh, he wants to--
Okay, mmm-hmm.

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(inhales sharply) Mmm-hmm.

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(through teeth) Okay.

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You wanna go?!

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Right now? Huh.

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Guess I could do that.

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(clears throat) Okay!

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OK, LET'S GO?!
He said, "O--"

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OKAY, LET'S GO?!

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ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?!
YOU KNOW WHAT?

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YOU WANNA REALLY...

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(calmly)..do this now?

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Keegan, you nut.

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You're not putting me out.

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FUCK YEAH, LET'S DO IT?!

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Oh, you fucking asshole!

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(calmly) First round's mine.

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OH NO!

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There ain't gonna be no rounds, asshole!

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It's gonna be a fucking streetfight!
(muttering) This son of a--

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YOU!

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Buddy! Like I said, first round's mine.

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A beer and a gimlet for my partner right...

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What's that?

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Uh, I-I-I got you 
a baseball bat with nails in it.

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For my post-apocalyptic 
Jackie Robinson costume.

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How did you know?

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