Everybody is familiar with the feeling that things are not as
they should be,
that you not successful enough,
your relationships are not satisfying enough
that you don't have the things you crave,
a chronic dissatisfaction that
makes you look outwards with envy
and inwards with disappointment,
pop culture, advertising and social media
make this worse by reminding you
that aiming for anything less that your
dream job is failure, you need to have great
experiences constantly,
be conventionally attractive,
have lot of friends
and find your soulmate
and that others have
all of these things and
are truly happy
and of course a vast array of
self-improvement products
implies that is your fault for not
working hard enough for yourself.
In the last two decades
researchers have been starting to investigate
how we can counteract these impulses
the field of positive psychology emerged
the study of what makes life worth living
while conductive behavior therapy
was developed to change negative feelings;
scientist began to ask
why are some people happier and
more satisfied than others?
and are there ways to apply what
they are doing right
to the rest of us?
In this video we want to talk about
one of the strongest predictors
of how happy people are,
how easily to make friends
and how good they are at dealing with
hardship.
An antidote to dissatisfaction so to speak:
Gratitude
While gratitud may sound like another
self improvement trend preached by
people who use hashtags
what we currently know about it is based
on a body of scientific work and studies.
we'll include them in the description
gratitud can mean very different things
to different people in different context:
it's a character trait, a feeling, a virtue and a behavior
you can feel grateful towards someone
who did something for you
for random events like the weather
or even for nature or faith
and it's wired into our biology.
How gratitude connects us
to each other
the predecessor of gratitude is probably
reciprocity,
it likely evolved as a biological signal
that motivates animals to exchange things
for their mutual benefit
and it can be found in the animal kingdom
among certain fish, birds or mammals,
but specially in primates.
When your brain recognizes that someone has done something nice to you
it reacts with gratitude to motivate you to repaid them
this gratitude makes you care about others
and others care about you.
This was important because as humans brains
got better at reading emotions
selfish individual were identified and shunned
it became an evolutionary advantage to play well
with others
and build lasting relationships,
for example:
if you were hungry and someone else
showed you where to find tasty berries
you felt gratitude towards them
and a bond to return the favor in the future
a drive to be pro-social
when you repaid them, they feel gratitude
towards you
this brought your ancestors close together
and forged bonds and friendships
so, early forms of gratitude where
biological mechanisms
that modified your behavior towards cooperation
which helped humans to dominate the earth,
but over time
gratitude became more than just an impulse
to play fair
the consequences of gratitude.
Scientists found that gratitude stimulates
the pathways in your brain involved in
feelings of reward, forming social bonds, and interpreting others intentions.
It also makes it easier to save and retrieve
positive memories
even more gratitude counteracts negative feelings and traits
like envy and social comparison:
narcissism
cynicism
and materialism
as a consequence,
people who are grateful, no matter what for
tend to be happier, and more satisfied
they have better relationships
and easier time making friends.
They sleep better,
tend to suffer less for depression,
addiction and burnout
and are better dealing with traumatic events.
In a way, gratitude makes it less likely that you'll fall into
one of the psychological traps modern life has set for you
for example, gratitude measurably counters
the tendency to forget and downplay positive events
If you work long and hard for something
actually getting it can feel daft and empty
you can find yourself emotionally back where you started
and try to achieve the next biggest thing,
looking for that satisfaction
instead of being satisfied with yourself
or, imagine being lonely and wanting
to have more friends.
you actually might have someone
or even multiple people who want to hang out,
but you might feel that this is not enough
that you're a loser and feel bad about yourself.
So, you might turn down their attempts to hang out
and become more lonely.
if you feel grateful for your relationships instead
you might accept invitations
or even take the initiative.
the more often you risk opening up,
the higher the chance of solidifying relationships
and meeting new people.
in the best case, gratitude can trigger
a feedback loop.
positive feelings lead to more pro-social behavior
which leads to more positive social experiences
that cause more positive feelings.
This is a common experience after serious hardship
like chemotherapy, for example:
life can feel amazing after a crisis is over
the smallest things can be bottomless sources of joy
from being able to taste
to just sitting in the sun or chatting with a friend
objectively, your life is the same or maybe even slightly worse than before
but your brain compares your present experiences
with the times when life was bad
and reacts with gratitude.
So, in a nutshell
gratitude refocuses your attention
towards the good things you have
and the consequences of this shift
are better feelings and more positive experiences
while it is great to know these things
is there actually a way for you to feel more of it?
How To Make Your Brain More Grateful?
The ability to experience more or less gratitude
is not equally distributed
you have what's known as trait gratitude
that determines how much you are able to feel it.
It depends on your genetics, personality, and culture
this discovery made scientists wonder
if they could design exercises that change your trait gratitude
and lead to more happiness.
Let's start with important caveats:
It's not yet entirely clear to what degree gratitude can be trained
or how long the effects last
there are no magic pills for happiness
Life is complicated.
On some days, it feels like you're in control of yourself
and, on others, you feel like you're not.
And this is okay.
Also, sometimes pursuing happiness can make you more unhappy
if you put too much pressure on yourself.
Gratitude should also not be seen as a solution to depression
or a substitute for professional help.
It can only be a piece of the puzzle.
It's not the solution to the puzzle itself,
the easiest gratitude exercise, with the most solid research behind it
is gratitude journaling.
It means sitting down for a few minutes,
one to three times a week,
and writing down five to ten things you're grateful for.
It might feel weird at first,
so start simply.
Can you feel grateful for a little thing?
Like how great coffee is,
or that someone was kind to you.
Can you appreciate something someone else did for you?
Can you reflect on which things or people you would miss if they were gone
and be grateful that they're in your life?
We're all different,
so you'll know what works for you.
And that's it, really.
It feels almost insulting,
like things shouldn't be that simple.
But in numerous studies,
the participants reported more happiness
and a higher general life satisfaction
after doing this practice for a few weeks.
And, even more,
studies have found changes in brain activity
some months after they ended.
Practicing gratitude, may be a real way to reprogram yourself.
This research shows that your emotions are not fixed.
In the end, how you experience life
is a representation of what you believe about it.
If you attack your core beliefs about yourself and your life,
you can change your thoughts and feelings,
which automatically changes your behavior.
It's pretty mind-blowing that something as simple as self-reflection
can hack the pathways in our brain to fight dissatisfaction.
And, if this is no reason to be more optimistic
what is?
Being a human is hard,
but it doesn't need to be as hard.
And, if you actively look,
you might find that your life is much better than you thought.
If you're curious and want to try out gratitude,
we made a thing.
Please note that you don't need to buy anything from anyone to practice
gratitude, all you need is paper, a pen, and five minutes.
Having said that, we've made a Kurzgesagt gratitude journal,
based on studies we've read,
conversations with experts,
and our personal experiences with gratitude over the last year.
It's structured in a way that might make it a bit easier
to get into the habit of gratitude journaling.
There are short explanations and reflections to mix it up
and make it more interesting.
We've also made it as pretty as we could.
This video continues the unofficial series
of more personal, introspective videos,
from optimistic nihilism to loneliness and now gratitude.
We don't want to be a self-help channel,
so we'll keep this sort of video at roughly one per year.
We hope they're helpful to some of you.
Thank you for watching.