[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:07.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience talking]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.02,0:00:09.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.45,0:00:13.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've got a lot of time to make up for\Nin my gay journey through life
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.06,0:00:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because one of the things\Nthat I feel honestly
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.20,0:00:17.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I missed out on\Nwhen I was younger,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.86,0:00:22.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was just being able to share my feelings\Nabout boys with the people in my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.94,0:00:24.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause it was always the shameful secret
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.84,0:00:27.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was just bubbling on the inside,\Nall the angst.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.17,0:00:30.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So today, I thought\Nlet's just make up for lost time.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.78,0:00:37.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would like to lay out a timeline of\Nmy complete emotional, romantic journey
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.37,0:00:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the ultimate Dan's Gay Crush Tier List!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.73,0:00:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering] Oh yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.14,0:00:49.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know how this works,\Nwe've got A to F.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.73,0:00:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like school grades.\NS is the top shelf, F is the bottom.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.18,0:00:57.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm gonna go from my first ever feelings\Nto my current degenerate fantasies
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.97,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you all get to judge my taste level.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.88,0:01:02.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this isn't about what you think,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.85,0:01:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is about how compatable\Nthey would be with me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.06,0:01:09.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and whether "Oh, I thought I have a crush\Non them. Is it a good idea? No."
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.68,0:01:11.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, are you ready?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.00,0:01:12.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering] Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.42,0:01:16.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First up: Aladdin.\N[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.43,0:01:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, taste. Taste.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.61,0:01:21.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole thing with\Nall the Disney things is:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.81,0:01:24.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Did I enjoy this as Disney intended,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.36,0:01:27.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting myself in Aladdin's shoes\Nnext to Jasmine?"
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.69,0:01:30.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no. I wanted to be Jasmine\Non the magic carpet
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.39,0:01:31.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Aladdin.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.54,0:01:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Obviously, there's pre- and\Npost-lamp Aladdin.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.04,0:01:35.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause post-lamp S, easy.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.58,0:01:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, hey! What are we working with?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.86,0:01:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We got fez.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.90,0:01:40.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Monkey.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.88,0:01:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He would steal bread for you.\NThat's someone you can count on.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.10,0:01:45.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you give Aladdin?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.51,0:01:46.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience saying S] S?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.57,0:01:48.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.03,0:01:49.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to leave room for S.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.37,0:01:51.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Strong A for Aladdin, good start! Okay!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.58,0:01:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next up, Tigger.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.76,0:01:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.96,0:01:56.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow! What- no!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.79,0:01:58.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, no, no, no!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.08,0:01:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oi, shut up!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.03,0:02:01.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's- romantic.\NThis is just about young feelings-
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.79,0:02:04.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I watched a lot of\NWinnie-the-Pooh as a kid and
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.78,0:02:06.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Hundred Acre Wood is a scary place.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.95,0:02:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They got Heffalumps, Woozles, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.96,0:02:11.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some- rabbits.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.40,0:02:16.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And maybe it was my furry-awakening, we'll\Nnever know. But let's think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.16,0:02:18.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's kind, he's positive, bouncy.\NHe's got a hard tail.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.80,0:02:20.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's always quite enjoyable.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.78,0:02:22.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience murmuring]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.08,0:02:24.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oi, I don't know what you're saying there.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.08,0:02:25.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you give Tigger?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.48,0:02:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling letters]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.74,0:02:28.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,C? Wow!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.22,0:02:30.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kick him out!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.10,0:02:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, that's fine.\NI'll give him a B for bouncy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.24,0:02:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, next: Crash Bandicoot.\N[audience yelling and laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.96,0:02:37.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow! Uhm,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.64,0:02:41.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought this was a place of\Nacceptance? Hello?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.69,0:02:45.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guys, he- it's anthro. Anthropomorphic.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.92,0:02:48.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's wearing trousers.\NHe's not an animal, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.93,0:02:50.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, well no.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.58,0:02:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is literally just a bandicoot,\Nisn't he? There's no other way.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.62,0:02:55.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay. [laughs]\NBut he's wearing shoes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.58,0:02:58.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dogs can't wear shoes.\N[audience laughs]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.01,0:03:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No wait. Dogs can wear shoes and trousers.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.26,0:03:01.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.16,0:03:02.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bipedal, that's it!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.55,0:03:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If it stands on two legs, you can fuck it.\NThat's the rule. That's how it works.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.36,0:03:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, that's how it works!\N[laughs]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.40,0:03:13.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dan Howell 2022: "You can fuck penguins".\NThat's what I'm saying.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.06,0:03:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughs]\NLet's give him a B for bandicoot.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.51,0:03:19.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, yes. My knight in shining armour.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.09,0:03:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was younger, I went to one of those\NRenaissance fair-things.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.60,0:03:24.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where they do\Nmedieval re-enactment,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.33,0:03:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they had a jousting display.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.44,0:03:29.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was there, I was like 11,\Nstood at the end of the field.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.80,0:03:32.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This guy finished an epic joust, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.40,0:03:38.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He pulled off his helmet and\Nit was a teen boy with long, blond hair,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.08,0:03:40.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he rode past me\Nwith the helmet in his arm
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.32,0:03:43.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and just looked at me with\Nhis hair blowing in the wind.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.04,0:03:46.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that is what turned me gay.\NThat moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.01,0:03:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, I was so spellbound that I\Nthought about him for months, for years.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.66,0:03:55.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But! How do we feel about the\N'Knight in shining armour' trope?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.60,0:03:57.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are we kinda over that? As a society?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.100,0:03:59.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We don't need them to save us!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.83,0:04:02.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, athletic.\NNo, definitely C. It's a C.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.80,0:04:04.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next: Bradley from S Club.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.80,0:04:06.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]\NYeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.81,0:04:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If any Americans are watching this:\Ngoated pop group, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.40,0:04:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You had to be there.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.40,0:04:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bradley, he can swing, apparently.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.80,0:04:16.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He can sing, breakdance. Act!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.41,0:04:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quadri-dri-dripple threat.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.04,0:04:20.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you give Bradley from S Club?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.09,0:04:21.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling S]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.16,0:04:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,S? You g- You with the S? S! S!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.79,0:04:24.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Simp! That's S for simp! For all of you-
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.84,0:04:28.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I mean, he's way too cool.\NI'm a disgusting nerd.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.15,0:04:31.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not about him, it's about me,\Nand for me, it's a B.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.56,0:04:33.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[loud response from the audience]\NSnape.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.93,0:04:40.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Haha. Mixed- A lot of people are like\N"Heh" and a lot of people are like "Yeah!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.11,0:04:43.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not professor Snape.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.06,0:04:46.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Young, angsty Snape\Nfrom the Half-Blood Prince, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.76,0:04:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You get me? Because when I read that,\NI was angsty as fuck, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.96,0:04:51.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.07,0:04:56.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was just thinking: "What if\NI was at school with young Snape?"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.28,0:05:00.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This wasn't one of those situations where\NI was like "He's so dark, I can save him."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.43,0:05:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No. If I was with him,\Nit would be toxic as fuck.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.48,0:05:04.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.53,0:05:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be a dark-\Nwe would spiral dramatically,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.94,0:05:09.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would become a Death Eater,\Nunironically.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.67,0:05:11.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It would be a complete disaster.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.41,0:05:14.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I know you all like it,\Nbut no, this is for me,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.05,0:05:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it is a D.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.43,0:05:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, we have Ewan McGregor and\NNicole Kidman from Moulin Rouge.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.51,0:05:23.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, some boys said\N"My favourite movie is Jurassic Park."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.30,0:05:25.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was like "I like Moulin Rouge!"\NGay.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.41,0:05:26.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gay!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.50,0:05:27.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gay!!
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.75,0:05:29.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shoulda saw that coming, shouldn't I?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.53,0:05:32.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But this isn't Ewan McGregor\Nand Nicole Kidman,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.15,0:05:34.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause I know some lesbians here\Nwill be like "Nicole!"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.26,0:05:38.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it's Satine and Christian.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.11,0:05:42.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, this guys, he was a mess! Okay.\NNo career prospects, he was useless.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.76,0:05:45.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly, I'm gonna give him\Na C for Christian.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.25,0:05:48.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Satine, she had creepy\NBritish men trying to kill her.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.63,0:05:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That would not be fun!\NI'll give her a C for consumption.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.66,0:05:55.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, next, we have Tidus!\N[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.05,0:05:56.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah? You know him?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.45,0:05:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's the protagonist from\Na game called Final Fantasy X.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.40,0:06:03.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is a sportstar from another dimension
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.33,0:06:05.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was made to save the world.\NCringe, I know.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.75,0:06:11.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, underwater football player and me?\NI thought he was hot, but let's be honest:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.26,0:06:12.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he would bully me. He would.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.100,0:06:16.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we went to school together,\Nhe would be like "What is that?"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.62,0:06:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He would spit on me, I would cry\Nand I would still love him.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.56,0:06:22.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, no, I don't think that's happening.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.67,0:06:24.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give him a B for blitzball. And!
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.84,0:06:27.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, there was someone else in this game.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.27,0:06:30.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a character called Lulu who,\Nas you can see,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.89,0:06:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was literally the dream\Nbig titty, goth girlfriend, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.55,0:06:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she was- she's called The Strap.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.50,0:06:41.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, you don't-\Nyou can see about 15 of them in her dress.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.60,0:06:46.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am confused by her to this day.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.61,0:06:51.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She could throw a fireball at me and\NI would be like "Thank you. Do it again."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.34,0:06:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is a strong S!\N[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.86,0:06:59.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not just pandering to the lesbians,\Nthat is actually S.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.18,0:07:01.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that wasn't it.\NThere was someone else in this game.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.80,0:07:04.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was like a bodyguard for a summoner,\Nhe was called Kimahri.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.84,0:07:06.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]\NAnd- wait, wait!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.72,0:07:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wait, I will bring you around, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.48,0:07:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because look at how guys was\Nintroduced in the game.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.52,0:07:17.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Kimahri growling]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.40,0:07:19.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.16,0:07:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Kimahri growling]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.73,0:07:29.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fuck yeah!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.72,0:07:32.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.10,0:07:34.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,God, I'm so fucking hard right now.\NThat's amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.21,0:07:38.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I'll give him an A for furry-awakening!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.68,0:07:39.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, Troy Bolton-
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.95,0:07:42.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.65,0:07:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Specifically, High School Musical 2.\NThey say-
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.73,0:07:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.80,0:07:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't generalize-\Nthere is no such thing as a gay test.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.57,0:07:52.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is such thing as the gay test.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.30,0:07:54.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The test is, you ask someone what\Ntheir favourite HSM is.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.96,0:07:57.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If they say 1, straight.\NIf they say 2, gay. That's it.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.90,0:08:02.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who's the best character? Gabriella?\NNo. Sharpay? Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.71,0:08:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, correct.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.100,0:08:07.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, mhm... Think about it. For me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.98,0:08:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, would he really be my friend?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.91,0:08:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wouldn't talk to me. I would just be\Ncrying in the corner somewhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.24,0:08:17.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He plays golf, he wears polo-shirts.\NWe have nothing in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.55,0:08:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I- I'm just gonna give him a D-tier.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.40,0:08:24.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This isn't about him! It's about me.\ND for 'Dan is depressed'. Next one.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.50,0:08:28.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The first boy that I ever had a crush on.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.01,0:08:32.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was in my school. I was like 13, and\Nwe were friends until one day I was like
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.73,0:08:35.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I want more from this."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.61,0:08:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He broke my heart.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.50,0:08:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I was actually in love.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.32,0:08:41.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I was in- I was in-\Nhe was just the first person I knew,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.40,0:08:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and therefore I was like\N"This must be love!"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.29,0:08:45.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know the story,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.98,0:08:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically, he ghosted me for 3 years\Nand then later
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.65,0:08:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found out that he was actually gay\Nthe whole time, but told everyone I knew
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.26,0:08:55.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not to tell me, because I was cringe.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.71,0:09:01.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughs and reacts shocked]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.15,0:09:02.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,True story.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.23,0:09:04.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are saying F? Okay, wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.05,0:09:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dan Howell Defence Forces.\N[audience yells F]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.40,0:09:08.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, wow, wow.\NWait, wait, wait.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.39,0:09:10.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to save F for\Nsomething truly degenerate,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:10.100,0:09:13.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't know how low this could go.\NI'll put him in D.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.63,0:09:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't hate him, it's my fault.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.98,0:09:19.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next, we have Keanu Reeves, okay.\N[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.11,0:09:22.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this might be an overrated opinion,\Nbut think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.26,0:09:25.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He gave us Speed, he gave us Neo,\Nhe was in Bill & Ted.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.15,0:09:26.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he is nice, apparently.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.91,0:09:28.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we gonna give Keanu?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.31,0:09:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling S]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.07,0:09:34.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know what? Fuck yeah,\Nstraight to S with Keanu Reeves.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.29,0:09:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I will attempt to kick you in\Nthe chin if you have a problem with that.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.95,0:09:38.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Gerard Way.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.77,0:09:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.75,0:09:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have no idea\Nhow fucking emo I was, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.55,0:09:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone said S+,\Nwe need a new tier for Gerard Way.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.51,0:09:54.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was a mess when I was 14 and this guy,\Nhe came out-
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.98,0:09:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was sat there with socks on my arm,\NI was singing "I'm not okay"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.85,0:10:03.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into my fat CRT-monitor looking\Non MySpace, his music saved my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.06,0:10:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He occasionally kissed boys.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.88,0:10:07.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, he was a vision, but-\Nbefore you get too excited,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.79,0:10:10.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's kinda short,\Nso I'll put him on the second shelf.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.30,0:10:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give him an A!\NI'll give him an A.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.29,0:10:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He can't reach S, he can't reach S,\Nit's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.20,0:10:16.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,charlieissocoollike.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.88,0:10:19.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.08,0:10:22.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know,\Nthe OG British YouTuber.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.46,0:10:25.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been in love with him\Nfor about 15 years.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.24,0:10:27.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He knows this.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.64,0:10:28.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.75,0:10:30.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Very clear- there is an\Nopen invitation there.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.89,0:10:34.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If he wants to just get married\Nand just go off somewhere in Canada.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.10,0:10:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hi, I'll get on a flight anytime.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:35.85,0:10:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.82,0:10:38.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.20,0:10:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the guy that made\Nthe video "I'm Scared",
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.75,0:10:45.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that made me such a neurotic fuck\Non YouTube, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.10,0:10:49.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is so reclusive that\Nif me and him got together,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.55,0:10:51.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we'd fucking fade out of existence.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.23,0:10:52.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.55,0:10:55.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd kiss and then just go "Buuuh"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.77,0:10:58.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We'd get Thanos-ed instantly.\NSo nothing personal,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.53,0:11:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's a C because some people are\Njust not meant to be, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.83,0:11:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Evan Peters.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.02,0:11:04.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.90,0:11:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We could just do as a person,\Nbut this is a gay thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.43,0:11:09.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we're gonna do every\Ncharacter from AHS.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.45,0:11:12.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay. I know you had your\NHot Topic moment, but F.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.32,0:11:14.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, Asylum B for buts.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.47,0:11:15.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Coven C for corpse.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:15.77,0:11:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Freak Show, if you know,\Nyou know, A.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.22,0:11:20.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hotel? Nah, that's gonna be a D.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.72,0:11:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Roanoke? C.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.12,0:11:24.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then that- F+.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.00,0:11:26.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, but Evan himself,\Nwhat are we thinking?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.81,0:11:29.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling S]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.14,0:11:32.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Beautiful eruptions of parseltongue\Nfrom the audience tonight.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.12,0:11:35.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,J. K. Rowling would be so offended to see\Nwhat her fans have done with the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.93,0:11:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's an S.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.80,0:11:38.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, see. This is going well.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.55,0:11:40.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I lost you\Nwith the weird ones there,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.88,0:11:42.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we brought it back.\NZabivaka.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.82,0:11:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.34,0:11:52.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't know,\Nthis was Russia's attempt
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.02,0:11:57.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at making a non-gay mascot for\Ntheir FIFA World Cup in 2018.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.25,0:12:00.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the moment they released this\Nheterosexual mascot,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.10,0:12:02.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know what\Nthe artists did on the internet?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.43,0:12:04.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.17,0:12:06.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh yeah, they did. [laughs]
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.59,0:12:10.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, the-\Nthere is a lot going on with that.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.55,0:12:13.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We do not have time to unpack this.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.20,0:12:17.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And clearly he's packing something\Nelse on that one on the left there.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.55,0:12:19.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uwu, what's this? I've noticed something.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.100,0:12:24.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, as amazingly erotic as he is,\Nhe's a football mascot.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.74,0:12:27.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give him a B for balls.\NIt's only fair enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.12,0:12:29.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, Manny Jacinto.\NDo you know who he is?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.95,0:12:31.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, from The Good Place.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.22,0:12:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are some people in life\Nthat are just disgusting,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.62,0:12:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they are so perfect,\Nit makes you feel like a slug.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.02,0:12:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just a disgusting, worthless slime\Neverytime-
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.07,0:12:43.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's him, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.62,0:12:45.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He can dance, he can act.\NHe has jawbones
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.90,0:12:49.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that could cut the universe in half\Nand destroy instantly any moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.14,0:12:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are we thinking?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.42,0:12:51.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling S]\NS?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.70,0:12:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Maybe- but, for me,\Nis that co-?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.30,0:12:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm gonna give him.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.06,0:12:57.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I- I'll give him an A.\NThat's good, it's good.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.30,0:12:59.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The red M&M.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.09,0:13:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience replying]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.88,0:13:02.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't see it?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.05,0:13:04.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't see- the green one?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.17,0:13:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience talking]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.06,0:13:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.97,0:13:10.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you're like "Dan, the red M&M? No, no.\NThe green one? Hell yeah!"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.75,0:13:12.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]\NHell yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.14,0:13:14.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you not see there's a certain arrogance\Nthat's kinda hot?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.99,0:13:19.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You kinda- you just wanna be like\Nshouted at by the red M&M sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.38,0:13:20.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just me?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.22,0:13:23.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, did they eat M&M's in\Nthe adverts for M&M's?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.44,0:13:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are they cannibals?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.45,0:13:25.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience says yes]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.55,0:13:27.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also feel like he probably voted\Nfor Trump.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.68,0:13:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know, I gain that energy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.30,0:13:30.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is- is this as bad as it gets?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.77,0:13:31.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm feeling- okay, fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.98,0:13:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have our first F, people!\NGet the fuck down there, red M&M!
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.44,0:13:40.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, but no more weird ones, I promise.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.55,0:13:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The AstraZeneca logo.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.73,0:13:44.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.49,0:13:45.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just me?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.41,0:13:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience says yes]
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.50,0:13:51.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wow, do you not see the\Ninherent sexual energy of the AstraZeneca?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.65,0:13:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is clearly a man assuming\Nsome kind of position.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.88,0:14:00.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No? I was watching these new\Nand I was like
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.02,0:14:02.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Damn, I need to go to the other room-"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.10,0:14:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, you know.\NThis is about me, not you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:04.06,0:14:05.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm feeling very\Nhomophobicly attacked.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.89,0:14:08.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is an A for me, I'm just gonna say.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.15,0:14:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now we have a category which is\Nabout a philosophical question, which is
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.73,0:14:18.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you had a clone of yourself\Nin front of you, would you fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.55,0:14:19.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience saying yes]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.72,0:14:22.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughs] One no and all people like\N"Yes, I've thought about this!"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.85,0:14:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's good.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.84,0:14:27.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhm, so, I present a trio of people\Nthat have regularly been compared to me:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.99,0:14:31.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anthony Padilla, Liam Payne\Nand Wilbur Soot.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.26,0:14:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, first up is Anthony.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:34.57,0:14:36.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not to be weird,\NAnthony Padilla is sat right there.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.08,0:14:40.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhm... Hi.\NAnthony, this is not weird!
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.67,0:14:44.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is not about you,\Nthis is about me, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:44.45,0:14:47.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this is- don't- this is not weird.\NWe're being objective.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.47,0:14:48.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's think about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.55,0:14:49.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.63,0:14:53.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right, talented. Succesfull.\NYeah, but like, Anthony,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.89,0:14:55.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he does exercise.\NWhat the fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.88,0:14:57.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.58,0:15:01.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, we have the same hair and instead\Nof desperately trying to cover it up,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.29,0:15:04.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he's embraced the curls and has\Ndone something with it successfully?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:04.71,0:15:06.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.89,0:15:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, Anthony is basically just\Nthe genetically superior version of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.28,0:15:13.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, you know. What are we-\NAre we compatible?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.63,0:15:15.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What did we do the last time we hung out?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.59,0:15:17.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We ate burritos and got high,\Ndo you remember?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.97,0:15:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- [Anthony] I actually forgot]\N- It wasn't gay.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.45,0:15:25.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's give Anthony an A.\NGood for you, Anthony!
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.45,0:15:28.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:15:28.57,0:15:29.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He did it! He did it.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.97,0:15:31.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sit down, sit down, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.77,0:15:34.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A for ally.\NNo, uhm.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.74,0:15:37.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Liam Payne, how do we feel?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.54,0:15:41.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience yelling and booing]
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.42,0:15:44.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Y'all motherfuckers are trying\Nto drag me into some mess right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:44.61,0:15:46.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're trying to get me\Nkilled in the streets?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.75,0:15:50.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, no! I'm just doing this\Nbecause people said we kinda look similar.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.55,0:15:52.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look, we all have bad weeks, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.90,0:15:56.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If he pushed me up against the wall\Nand said he'd break my hand,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:56.08,0:15:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd be like "Okay Liam!"
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.43,0:15:58.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.80,0:16:01.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You can break my other hand and my leg\Nand I'm okay with that!"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.90,0:16:04.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bu- let's put him in D tier, moving on.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.67,0:16:07.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wilbur Soot, okay, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:07.49,0:16:10.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Very popular right now,\Ngot the whole Minecraft thing going.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.39,0:16:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also music, very talented.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.72,0:16:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, are we compatible?\NI don't play Minecraft
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.65,0:16:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's like 90% of the iceberg,\Nisn't it?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.10,0:16:22.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't wanna start drama with the\Nequally terrifying Minecraft-community
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.55,0:16:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll give him a B for block!\NThere we go, okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.58,0:16:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And lastly,\NI need you to support me on this
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.72,0:16:30.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause this is the end, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.12,0:16:33.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So no matter what I say,\Nyou have to support me,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.42,0:16:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this is about me being\Nvalid at the end of pride month.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.50,0:16:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay, Mr. Pringle.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.49,0:16:39.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience react]
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.12,0:16:40.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No! No, sh- okay!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.12,0:16:41.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have had it with you people!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.79,0:16:44.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You do not get to sit there and judge me!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.72,0:16:46.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is a safe space for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.22,0:16:50.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would explore his tube and\Nthere is nothing that you can do about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.17,0:16:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience react shocked]
Dialogue: 0,0:16:51.99,0:16:53.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch me fucking leave 'cause you're a b-
Dialogue: 0,0:16:53.97,0:16:56.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His mustache would tickle you\Nin all the right places.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:56.64,0:16:58.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience react shocked]
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.25,0:17:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And also, free Pringles,\Nit's a fucking S, I don't care!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.64,0:17:02.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't care!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.79,0:17:04.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the S.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.22,0:17:07.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is authentically me,\Nwhether you like it or not.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:07.46,0:17:09.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I bet you regret coming here,\Nbut it's too late.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.89,0:17:12.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have enabled me,\Nyou have created a monster
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.87,0:17:15.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now I am once more\Nreleased into the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:15.50,0:17:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am Dan and I am now free.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:18.12,0:17:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is your problem.\NOkay, bye!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.77,0:17:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[audience cheering]
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.44,0:17:30.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I apologise for nothing!
Dialogue: 0,0:17:30.42,0:17:53.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[ominous music]