WEBVTT

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Our main story tonight

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is government surveillance.

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And I realize most people

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would rather have a conversation

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about literally any other topic.

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Including: 'Is my smartphone

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giving me cancer?

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To which the answer is: probably.

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Or: Do goldfish suffer from depression?

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To which the answer is:

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Yes, but very briefly.

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But the fact is...

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it is vital

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that we have a discussion about this now.

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Because an important date is just around the corner.

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One big day to circle on the calendar,

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when it comes to a very controversial subject.

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The re-authorization of the Patriot Act,

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and all of the controversial

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provisions therein.

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June 1 they've got to come to an agreement

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to re-authorize or curttail those programs.

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Yes. Some controversial provisions within

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the Patriot Act are set to expire

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on June 1.

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So circle that date

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on your calendars, everyone.

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And while you're at it:

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Circle June 2 as well.

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Because that's Justin Long's birthday.

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You all forgot last year...

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and he f*cking noticed.

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Now, over the last couple of years,

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you've probably heard a lot about

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strange-sounding programs. Such as:

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X-Keyscore, Muscular, Prism, and Mystic.

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Which are, coincidentally, also the names

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of some of Florida's

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least popular stripclubs.

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"Welcome to X-Keyscore!

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Our dancers are fully un-redacted

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and Tuesday is wing-night!"

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But if you don't mind, I would like

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to refresh your memory over some of this.

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And let's start our focussing on the most

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controversial portion of the Patriot Act

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that is up for renewal:

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Section 215.

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Which, I'm aware, sounds like the name

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of an Eastern European boy-band.

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"We are Section 215."

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"Prepare to have your hearts..."

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"throbbed."

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There's the cute one, the bad-boy,

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the one who strangled a potato-farmer,

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and the one without an iron-deficiency.

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They're incredible.

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But the content of the real Section 215

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is actually even more sinister.

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It's called Section 215.

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Nicknamed: the library records provision.

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Which allows the Government to require

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businesses to hand over records of any

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"any tangible things"

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including: books, records, papers,

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documents, and other items.

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If that sounds broad, it's because

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it was very much written that way.

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Section 215 says the Government can ask

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for "any tangible things" so long as it's

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"for an investigation to protect

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against international terrorism".

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Which is basically a blank cheque.

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It's letting a teenager borrow the car,

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under the strict condition that they

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only use it for 'car-related activities'.

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"Okay, mom and dad, I'm gonna use this

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for a hand-job in a Wendy's parking lot,

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but that is car-related,

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so I think I'm covered."

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Section 215 is overseen

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by a secret intelligence-court,

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known as the FISA-court.

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And they've interpreted it to mean

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the Government could basically

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collect and store phone-records for

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every American.

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The vast majority of whom, of course, have

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no connection to terrorism.

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Unless, Aunt Cheryl has been gravely

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mis-characterizing the activities

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of her needle-point club.

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"It's a sleeper-cell!"

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"Isn't is, Aunt Cheryl?"

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"You will hang for this, Aunt Cheryl.

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You're a traiter and a terrible aunt.

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Not in that order."

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Now, the Government will point out

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that under 215, they hold phone-records,

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and not the calls themselves.

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What the intelligence-community is doing,

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is looking at phone-numbers,

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and durations of calls,

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they are not looking at peoples names,

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and they are not looking at content.

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Yes, but that's not entirely reassuring.

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Because you can extrapolate a lot

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from that information.

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If they knew that you'd called your ex

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12 times last night, between 1 and 4 AM,

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for a duration of 15 minutes each time,

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they can be fairly sure that you left

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some pretty pathetic voice-mails.

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"I don't care

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whose monitoring this call, Vicky."

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"We should be together!"

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Pick up the phone, dammit!

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I'm a human being, not an animal!"

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Now, the Patriot-act was written

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just after 9-11.

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And for years it was extended

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and re-authorized

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with barely a passing thought.

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In fact, it became so routine,

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that when it was extended in 2011,

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one newscast just tacked it

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onto the end of a report

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about a Presidential trip abroad.

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Chip Reid. CBS-news.

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Travelling with the President

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in Deauville, France.

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Also in France, by the way,

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President Obama signed in a law,

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4- year extension

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of the terrorism fighting Patriot-Act.

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Also in France, by the way?

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By the way?

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He threw that in,

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like a mother telling her grown daughter

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that a childhood pet just died.

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"Oh, nice talking to you, sweety.

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Also, by the way, Mr. Peppers is dead.

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See you at Christmas." BANG

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But all of that,

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was before the public was made aware

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of what the Government's capabilities

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actually were.

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'Cause that all ended in June of 2013.

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Edward Snowden has just

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taken responsibility for one of the

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biggest government leaks in US history.

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We learned that the government has the

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capacity to track virtually every American

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phone-call, and to scoop up

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impossibly vast quantities of data

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across the internet.

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Revelations that the NSA eavesdropped

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on world leaders.

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If you've ever been to the Bahamas,

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the NSA could've recorded your phone-calls

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and stored them up to a month.

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All that information was exposed

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by Edward Snowden.

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And it is still kind of incredible,

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that a 29-year-old contractor

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was able to steal top-secret documents

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from an organization

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that LITERALLY has the word 'security'

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in it's name.

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Clearly, that was not great for them.

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Because the only place where it should

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be THAT easy

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for employees in their 20-ies to steal

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is a Lids store.

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"Dude, you sure we should take this?"

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"Relax, dude, it's a Miami Marlins-cap,

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we're not exactly selling

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Fabergé eggs here."

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It is still unclear,

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exactly how many documents

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Edward Snowden stole.

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Although he is consistently trying

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to re-assure people that he put them

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in good hands.

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Honestly, I don't want to be the person

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making the decisions about what should

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be public and what shouldn't.

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Which is why I

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rather than publishing these on my own

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or putting them out openly,

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I'm running them through journalists.

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Well, that sounds great.

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But of course it's not a fail-safe plan.

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As was proven when the New York Times

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published this slide,

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but did such a sloppy job

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of blocking out redacted information,

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that some people were able to read

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the information behind that black bar,

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which concerned how the US was monitoring

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Al Qaida in Mosul.

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A group now known as ISIS.

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So essentially,

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a national security secret was leaked,

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because no-one at the Times

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knows how to use Microsoft Paint.

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And look, you can think

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that Snowden did the wrong thing, or

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did it in the wrong way.

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But the fact is:

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we have this information now,

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and we no longer get the luxury

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of pleading ignorance.

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It's like you can't go to Sea World

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and pretend that Shamu's happy anymore.

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When we now know

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at least half the water in her tank

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is whale-tears.

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We know that now.

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You can't un-know that information.

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So you have to bear that in mind.

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But here's the thing:

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It's now 2 years later,

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and it seems like we've kind of

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forgotten to have a debate

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over the content of what Snowden leaked.

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A recent Pew-report found that nearly

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half of Americans say that they're

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'not very concerned'

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or 'not at all concerned'

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about government surveillance.

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Which is fine.

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If that's an informed opinion.

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But I'm not sure that it is.

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Because we actually sent a camera-crew

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to Times Square to ask

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some random passers by

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who Edward Snowden was

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and what he did.

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And there are the responses that we got.

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I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

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Have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

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I've heard the name, I just can't picture,

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think right now exactly what it is.

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Edward Snowden...

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No. I do not.

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Just for the record, that wasn't

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that wasn't cherry picking.

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That was entirely reflective

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of everyone we spoke to.

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Although, to be fair

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some people did remember his name,

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they just couldn't remember why.

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He sold some information to people.

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He revealed some information

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that shouldn't have been revealed.

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I think from what I remember,

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is that the information that he shared

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was detrimental to our military secrets?

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And keeping our soldiers and our country

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safe?

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He leaked documents what the Army's

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operations in Iraq.

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Edward Snowden revealed a bunch of

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of secrets, I guess, or information

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into Wiki, Wikileaks?

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Edward Snowden leaked...

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Ah, he's in charge of Wikileaks?

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Edward Snowden revealed a lot of

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documents through Wikileaks...?

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Okay, so here's the thing:

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Edward Snowden is NOT the Wikileaks guy.

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The Wikileaks guy is Julian Assange.

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And you do not want

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to be confused with him.

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Partly because he was far less careful

00:08:45.378 --> 00:08:47.569
than Snowden in what he released,

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and how.

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And partly because he resembles

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a sandwich-bag full of biscuit-dough

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wearing a Stevie Nicks-wig.

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And that is, that is ciritical.

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Julian Assange is not a like-able man.

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Even Benedict Cumberbatch could not

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make him like-able.

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He's un-Cumberbatch-able.

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That was supposed to be

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physically impossible.

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But I don't blame people

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for being confused.

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We've been looking at this story

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for the last 2 weeks,

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and it is hard to get your head around.

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Not just because there are so many

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complicated programs to keep track of,

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but also because

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there are no easy answers here.

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We all naturally want perfect privacy,

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and perfect safety.

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But those 2 things cannot coexist.

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It's like how you can't have

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a badass pet falcon...

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and an adorable pet vole named Herbert.

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Either you have to lose one of them,

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which obviously you don't want to do.

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Or you have to accept some reasonable

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restrictions on both of them.

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Now to be fair, the NSA will argue

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that just because they can do something

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doesn't mean they do do it.

00:09:53.612 --> 00:09:55.424
And, that there are restrictions

00:09:55.424 --> 00:09:57.039
on their operations,

00:09:57.039 --> 00:09:58.368
such as the FISA-court,

00:09:58.368 --> 00:10:00.587
which must approve requests for

00:10:00.587 --> 00:10:01.692
foreign surveillance.

00:10:01.692 --> 00:10:02.318
But.

00:10:02.318 --> 00:10:04.775
In 34 years, that court has approved

00:10:04.775 --> 00:10:07.116
over 35000 applications,

00:10:07.116 --> 00:10:09.146
and only rejected 12.

00:10:10.101 --> 00:10:12.677
Yes. Much like Robert Durst's second wife.

00:10:12.677 --> 00:10:16.156
The FISA-court is alarmingly accepting.

00:10:16.156 --> 00:10:18.073
"Listen, Robert"

00:10:18.073 --> 00:10:20.399
"I'm not gonna ask you too many questions.

00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:22.456
I'm just gonna give you the benefit of a

00:10:22.456 --> 00:10:24.302
doubt that you clearly don't deserve."

00:10:24.302 --> 00:10:27.522
At least tell him to blink and burp less.

00:10:29.366 --> 00:10:31.980
The burping might be the most troubling

00:10:31.980 --> 00:10:33.740
thing about that show.

00:10:35.403 --> 00:10:38.052
So, so maybe there's time for us to talk.

00:10:38.052 --> 00:10:39.961
About where the limits should be.

00:10:39.961 --> 00:10:41.971
And the best place to start would be

00:10:41.984 --> 00:10:43.840
Section 215.

00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:48.020
Not just because it's the easiest one

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to understand,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but there is wide-spread agreement

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it needs to be reformed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
From the President, to Ted Cruz,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to both the ACLU and the NRA,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to even the guy who wrote the thing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the first place.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was the principal author

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of the Patriot Act.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I can say that without qualification

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Congress never did intend to allow

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
bulk-collections when it passed

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Section 215.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And no fair reading of the text would

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
allow for this program.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Think about that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He was the author.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's the legislative equivalent

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of Lewis Carrol seeing the tea-cups ride

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at Disney Land, and saying:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"This has got to be reined in.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No fair reading of my text would allow

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for this ride."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"You've turned my perfectly nice

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
tail of psychedelic paedofilia

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
into a garish vomitorium."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"This is not what I wanted!"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And even the NSA has said that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the number of terror-plots

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the US, that the Section 215

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
phone-records program has disrupted is 1.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it's worth noting that that 1 plot

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
involved a cabdriver in San Diego

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who gave $8500 to a terror-group.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that is the shittiest terrorist-plot

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've ever seen, other than the plot of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A Good Day To Die Hard.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But here's the big problem here:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If we let Section 215 get renewed in it's

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
current form, without serious public

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
debate, we're in trouble.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because Section 215

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is the canary in the coalmine.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If we cannot fix that,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we're not gonna fix any of them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the public debate so far,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
has been absolutely pathetic.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
A year ago, a former congresswoman

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was discussing the 215 program on the news.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Watch wat happened.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This vast collection of data

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is not that useful, and infringes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
substantially on personal privacy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think at this point we should seriously

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
consider not continuing...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Congress woman, let me interrupt you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let me interrupt you just for one moment.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We've got some breaking news out of Miami.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Stand by if you will.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Right now in Miami, Justin Beiber

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
has been arrested on a number of charges.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The judge is reading the charges,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
including resisting arrest and driving

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
under the influence.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He's appearing now before the judge

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for his bond-hearing. Let's watch.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Actually, you know what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bad news, we're gonna have to interrupt

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
your interruption of the Beiber news,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for a new interruption.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This time featuring a YouTube video of a

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
tortoise having sex with a plastic clog.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's watch.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That. Is essentially the current tone

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of this vitally important debate.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And again: I'm not saying this is

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
an easy conversation.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But we have to have it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know this is confusing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And unfortunately, the most obvious

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
person to talk to about this,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is Edward Snowden.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But he currently lives in Russia.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Meaning, if you wanted to ask him

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about any of these issues,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you'd have to fly all the way there

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to do it, and it is not a pleasant flight.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the reason I know that...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that last week, I went to Russia

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to speak to Edward Snowden.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And this is what happened.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes, last week I spent 48 paranoid hours

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in Moscow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Arguably the last place on earth where you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
can find an overweight Josef Stalin

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
impersonator arguing with an unconvinsing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
fake Lenin.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And after experiencing Russia's famously

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
warm hospitality, I went to meet

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward Snowden.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who is supposed to show up in this room

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at noon.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
However, after 5 minutes after

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the interview was scheduled to begin,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I had a troubling thought.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You think he's coming?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause my argument is:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why would he?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When you think about it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I got 2000 roebels that says

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he doesn't make it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Without understanding how much that is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All I'm saying is...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a 10-hour flight for an empty chair...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm gonna lose my shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, it turns out that there may be

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a bit of a problem.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause our Russian producer...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
booked us in a room

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
directly overlooking...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the old KGB-building.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And the home of the current

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Federal Security Bureau.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I'm just been told that they know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we're here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So uhm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So that happened.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uhm, just if the Russian...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Russian KGB is listening:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we'll ring the fire-alarm

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if he's not coming.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh God.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-So sorry for the delay.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's fine.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
HOLY SHIT.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He actually came.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward f*cking Snowden.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The most famous here and/or traitor

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in recent American history!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I've started with a question designed

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to test his loyalties.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How much do you miss America?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-You know, my country is something

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-that travels with me, you know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-It's not just a geogro...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well that's already

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a way too complicated answer.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The right answer is:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I miss it a lot, it's the greatest

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
country in the world.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-I do miss my country.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-I do miss my home, I do miss my family.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Do you miss hot pockets?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-I miss hot pockets. Very much.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay. The entire state of Florida?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's just let that silence

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
hang in the air.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Truck nuts?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You miss truck nuts?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-I don't know what they are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Lucky for you, Edward...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not just truck nuts.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Stars and stripes truck nuts.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is 2 balls of liberty

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in a freedom sack.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-You really thought ahead.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, at least one of us did.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You know, 'cause of the... uhm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the quandary... the...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Kafka-esque nightmare that you're in.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay. Let's dive in.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Why did you do this?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
-The NSA has the greatest surveillance

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
capabilities that we've ever seen

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in history.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now, what they will argue

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that they don't use this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for nefarious purposes against

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
American citizens.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In some ways that's true.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But the real problem is that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they're using these capabilities

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to make us vulnerable to them,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and then saying:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
While I've got a gun pointed at your head,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm not going to pull the trigger.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Trust me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, what does the NSA you want look like?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause you applied for a job at the NSA.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So you clearly see an inherent value

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in that shadowy organization.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I worked with mass-surveillance systems

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
against Chinese hackers.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I saw, that you know, these things

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
do have some purpose.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And you want your spies to be good

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
at spying.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To be fair.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What you don't want...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is you don't want them spying inside

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
their own country.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Spies are great when they're on our side.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But we can never forget that they're

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
incredibly powerful,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and incredibly dangerous,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and when they're off the leash...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they can end up coming after us.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But just to be clear, we're talking about

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
2 different things here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Domestic surveillance,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and foreign surveillance.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause domestic surveillance...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Americans give some of a shit about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Foreign surveillance...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they don't give any remote shit about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well the second question is

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when we talk about foreign surveillance

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are we applying it in ways that are

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
beneficial...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No-one cares.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In terms...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No. They don't give a shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We spied on UNICEF.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The children's fund.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Sure.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We spied on lawyers negotiating...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What was UNICEF doing?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I mean, that's the question there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Isn't it?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The question is:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are these projects valuable?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Are we going to be safer when we're spying

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on UNICEF and lawyers who are talking about

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the price of shrimp and clove cigarettes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't think people say that's good.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think they'll say:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I definitely don't care.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Americans do not give a shit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think you're right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
About foreign surveillance.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What some people do care about

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is whether Snowden considered

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the adverse consequences of leaking

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so much information at once.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How many of those documents

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
have you actually read.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've evaluated all the documents

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that are in the archive.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You've read every single one?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I do understand what I've turned over.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But there's a difference between

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
understanding what's in the documents

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and reading what's in the documents.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I recognized the concern.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause when you're handing over

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
thousands of NSA documents,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the last thing you want to do

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is read them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think it's fair to be concerned about,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'did this person do enough?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were they careful enough?'

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Especially when you're handling material

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like we know you are handling.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, in my defense:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm not handling anything anymore.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's been passed to the journalists,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and they're using extraordinary

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
security measures that this is reported

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the most responsible way.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But, those are journalists

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with a lower technical skill-set than you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's true,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but then they do understand

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
just like you and I do.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just how important it

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to get this right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So the New York Times took a slide,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
didn't redact it properly...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the end it was possible

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for people to see that something

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was being used in Mosul.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
On Al'Qaida.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is a problem.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, that's a f*ck-up.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It is a f*ck-up.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And these things do happen in reporting.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In journalism we have to accept

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that some mistakes will be made.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is a fundamental concept of liberty.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you have to own that then.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're giving documents with imformation

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you know could be harmful...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which could get out there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If people act in bad faith.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're not even talking about bad faith.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're talking about incompetents.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you will never be

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
completely free from risk,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if you're free.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The only time you can be free from risk

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is when you're in prison.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
While the risks were significant,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Snowden himself has made it clear.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He feels the rewards have been worth it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You've said in you letters to Brasil:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I was motivated by a believe that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the citizens of the world deserve to

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
understand the system in which they live.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
My greatest fear was that no-one

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
would listen to my warning.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Never have I been so glad

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to have been so wrong."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How did that feel?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was initially terrified that this

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
was going to be a 3 day story,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
everybody was going to forget about it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But when I saw that...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
everybody around the world said:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Wow, this is a problem.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We have to do something about this",

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it felt like vindication.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Even in America?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Even in America.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I think we're seeing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
something amazing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Which is if you ask... the American people

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to make tough decisions,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to confront tough issues,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to think about hard problems...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they'll actually surprise you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Here's the problem:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did ask some Americans.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And, boy did it surprise me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You've never heard of Edward Snowden?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've heard the name...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just can't picture and think right now

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
exactly who it is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, he's... uhm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He sold some information to people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He revealed some information

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that shouldn't have been revealed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward Snowden revealed a lot of documents

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
through Wikileaks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward Snowden revealed a bunch

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of secrets, I guess...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or information into Wikileaks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward Snowden leaked... uhm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he's in charge of Wikileaks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm in charge of Wikileaks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not ideal.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I guess, on the plus side...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you might be able to go home.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause it seems like no-one knows

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who the f*ck you are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or what the f*ck you did.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We can't except everybody to be uniformly

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
informed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, did you do this to solve a problem?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did this to give the American people

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a chance to decide for themselves

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the kind of government they want to have.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is a conversation that I think that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the American people deserve to decide.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There is no doubt that it is

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a critical conversation.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But is it a conversation that we have

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the capacity to have?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because it's so complicated.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We don't fundamentally understand it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It is a challenging conversation.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I mean, it's difficult for most people

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to even conceptualize.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The problem is,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the internet is massively complex,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and so much of it is invisible.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Service providers, technicians, engineers,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the phonenumbers....

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let me stop you right there, Edward.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause this is the whole problem.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Right.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is the whole problem.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just, I glaze over.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause it's like the IT-guy

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
comes into your office,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and you go: "Ooh shit."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In fairness...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Ooh shit, don't teach me anything."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I don't want to learn."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"You smell like canned soup."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's a real challenge to figure out

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
how do we communicate

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
things that require sort of years and years

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of technical understanding.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And compress that into seconds of speech.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, I'm sympathetic to the problem there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But the thing is,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
everything you did only matters

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if we have this conversation properly.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So let me help you out there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You mentioned in an interview

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that the NSA was passing around

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
naked photo's of people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah. This is something where it's...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's not actually seen as a big deal.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In the culture of NSA.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because you see naked pictures

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
all of the time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Terrifies people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Cause when we asked people about THAT...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
this is the response you get.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The Government should not be able

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to look at dick-pictures.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If the Government was looking at

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a picture of Gordon's penis,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I definitely feel it would be an invasion

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of my privacy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ah, yeah, if the Government was looking at

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
pictures of my penis, that would upset me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They should never, ever,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the US Government have a picture,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of my dick.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If my husband sent me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a picture of his penis,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the Government could access it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would want that program to be shut down.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would want the Dick-pic Program changed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would also want

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the Dick-pic Program changed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think it would be terrific,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if the program could change.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would want it to be tweeked,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would want it to have

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
clear and transparent laws

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that we knew about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that were communicated to us.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
To understand what they

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
were being used for.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or why the were being kept.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Do you think that program exists?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't think that program exists at all.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If I had knowledge that the US Government

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
had a picture of my dick...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would be very pissed off.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The good news is that there's no

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
program named 'the Dick-pic Program'.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The bad news is that they're still

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
collecting everybody's information.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Including your dick-pics.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What's the over/under of that last guy

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sent a dick-pic recently?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You don't need to guess.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'll show you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did take a picture of my... dick.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I sent it to a girl. Recently.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is the most visible line in the sand

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for people.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Can they see my dick?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, with that in mind...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
look inside that folder.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is a picture of my dick.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So let's go through each NSA program,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and explain to me it's capabilities

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in regards to that photograph...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of my penis.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
702 Surveillance: can they see my dick?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The Pfizen act of 2008,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which Section 702 falls under,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
allows the bulk-collection of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
internet communications that are

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
one-end foreign.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bulk-collection:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
now we're talking about my dick.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You get it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I do.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because it's, it's, yeah.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, if you have you're email somewhere...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like G-mail, hosted over seas or

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
transferred somewhere over seas,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or any time crosses outside the borders

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of the United States...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you're junk ends up in the database.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So it doesn't have to be

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sending your dick to a German?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Even if you sent it to somebody

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
within the United States,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
your wholly domestic communication

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
between you and your wife

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
can go from New York...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to London and back.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And get caught up in the database.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Executive Order 12-333: Dick or no dick?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
EO 12-333 is what the NSA uses

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when the other authorities aren't

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
aggressive enough,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or they're not catching as much

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as they like.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For example...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How are they gonna see my dick?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm only concerned about my penis.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When you send your junk

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
through G-mail, for example,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that's stored on Google-servers.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Google moves data.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
From datacenter to datacenter.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Invisibly to you, without your knowledge.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Your data could be moved outside

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the borders of the United States.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh no.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Temporarily.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
When your junk was passed by G-mail,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the NSA caught a copy of that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Prism.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Prism is how they pull your junk

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
out of Google, with Google's involvement.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All of the different Prism partners,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
people like Yahoo, Facebook, Google,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the Government deputizes them, to be,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sort of their little surveillance sherif.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They're a dick-sherif.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Correct.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Uhm, Upstream.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Upstream is how they snatch your junk

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as it transes the internet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay. Mystic.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you're describing your junk

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the phone?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But do they have the content

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of that junk-call,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or just the duration of it?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They have the content as well,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but only for a few countries.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you are on vacation in the Bahamas?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Finally. And you need to remind yourself?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No, I'm just not sure...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what to do with this.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just hold on to it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's a lot of responsibility.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah. It is a lot of responsibility.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's the whole point.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Should I...?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No, you should absolutely not.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it's unbelievable

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that you would do that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Actually, it's entirely believable.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
215 meta-data?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Good.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Come on, Ed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They can probably tell who you're sharing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
your junk pictures with.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because they're seeing

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who you're texting with,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
who you're calling.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you're calling

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the penis enlargement centre at 3 AM

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and that call lasted 90 minutes?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They would have a record

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of YOUR phone-number

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
calling THAT phone-number.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Which is a penis enlargement center).

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They would say they don't know

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's penis enlargement center,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but of course they can look it up.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Edward, if the American people

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
understood this...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
they would be absolutely horrified.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I guess I never thought about putting it

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the context of your junk.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Would a good take-away from this be...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Until such time as we sorted

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
all of this out...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
don't take pictures of your dick'.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just don't do it anymore.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If we do that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wait, hold on, you're saying 'no'?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You should be

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
taking pictures of your dick?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yes.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You shouldn't change your behavior

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because a Government agency somehwere

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is doing the wrong thing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you sacrifice our values

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because we're afraid...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we don't care

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about those values very much.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is a pretty inspiring answer

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to the question:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Hey, why did you just send me a picutre

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of your dick?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Because I love America, that's why."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So there you have it, America.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
All of us should now be equipped

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to have this vital debate.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Because by June 1,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it is imperative we have a rational,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
adult conversation

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
about whether our safety is worth

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
living in a country of barely regulated

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Government sanctioned dick-sherifs.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And with my work here done,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
there was just time to take care of

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
one more thing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Finally, congratulations

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on winning the Oscar.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know you couldn't be at the ceremony

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for obvious reasons, so...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hah?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wow.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I thought we'd celebrate ourselves.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Cheers.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Wow, that's...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that's really something.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're welcome.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What's the over/under on me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
getting home safely?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, if you weren't on the list before,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you are now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is that like, uhm...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that like a figu... is that like a joke

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or is that actually possible?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
No, it's... it's a real thing.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're associated now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just to be clear NSA:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I never met this guy, so

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
take me off you're f*cking list.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I do not want to get stuck in Russia.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I want to go home I want to go home

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I want to go home I want to go home

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Now, just for the record.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just so you know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We got in touch with the NSA,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
the National Security Council,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and the White House,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and we asked them to comment

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the dick-pick capabilities

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of each of the programs Edward Snowden

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
just discussed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Which incidentally was some very fun

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
emails to write to Government agencies.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They didn't wish to comment on the record.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I can see why,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for every possible reason.