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Our main story tonight

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is government surveillance.

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And I realize most people

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would rather have a conversation

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about literally any other topic.

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Including: 'Is my smartphone

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giving me cancer?

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To which the answer is: probably.

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Or: Do goldfish suffer from depression?

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To which the answer is:

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Yes, but very briefly.

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But the fact is...

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it is vital

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that we have a discussion about this now.

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Because an important date is just around the corner.

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One big day to circle on the calendar,

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when it comes to a very controversial subject.

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The re-authorization of the Patriot Act,

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and all of the controversial

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provisions therein.

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June 1 they've got to come to an agreement

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to re-authorize or curttail those programs.

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Yes. Some controversial provisions within

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the Patriot Act are set to expire

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on June 1.

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So circle that date

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on your calendars, everyone.

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And while you're at it:

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Circle June 2 as well.

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Because that's Justin Long's birthday.

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You all forgot last year...

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and he f*cking noticed.

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Now, over the last couple of years,

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you've probably heard a lot about

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strange-sounding programs. Such as:

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X-Keyscore, Muscular, Prism, and Mystic.

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Which are, coincidentally, also the names

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of some of Florida's

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least popular stripclubs.

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"Welcome to X-Keyscore!

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Our dancers are fully un-redacted

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and Tuesday is wing-night!"

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But if you don't mind, I would like

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to refresh your memory over some of this.

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And let's start our focussing on the most

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controversial portion of the Patriot Act

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that is up for renewal:

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Section 215.

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Which, I'm aware, sounds like the name

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of an Eastern European boy-band.

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"We are Section 215."

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"Prepare to have your hearts..."

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"throbbed."

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There's the cute one, the bad-boy,

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the one who strangled a potato-farmer,

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and the one without an iron-deficiency.

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They're incredible.

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But the content of the real Section 215

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is actually even more sinister.

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It's called Section 215.

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Nicknamed: the library records provision.

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Which allows the Government to require

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businesses to hand over records of any

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"any tangible things"

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including: books, records, papers,

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documents, and other items.

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If that sounds broad, it's because

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it was very much written that way.

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Section 215 says the Government can ask

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for "any tangible things" so long as it's

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"for an investigation to protect

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against international terrorism".

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Which is basically a blank cheque.

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It's letting a teenager borrow the car,

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under the strict condition that they

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only use it for 'car-related activities'.

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"Okay, mom and dad, I'm gonna use this

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for a hand-job in a Wendy's parking lot,

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but that is car-related,

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so I think I'm covered."

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Section 215 is overseen

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by a secret intelligence-court,

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known as the FISA-court.

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And they've interpreted it to mean

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the Government could basically

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collect and store phone-records for

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every American.

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The vast majority of whom, of course, have

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no connection to terrorism.

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Unless, Aunt Cheryl has been gravely

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mis-characterizing the activities

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of her needle-point club.

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"It's a sleeper-cell!"

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"Isn't is, Aunt Cheryl?"

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"You will hang for this, Aunt Cheryl.

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You're a traiter and a terrible aunt.

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Not in that order."

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Now, the Government will point out

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that under 215, they hold phone-records,

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and not the calls themselves.

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What the intelligence-community is doing,

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is looking at phone-numbers,

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and durations of calls,

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they are not looking at peoples names,

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and they are not looking at content.

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Yes, but that's not entirely reassuring.

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Because you can extrapolate a lot

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from that information.

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If they knew that you'd called your ex

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12 times last night, between 1 and 4 AM,

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for a duration of 15 minutes each time,

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they can be fairly sure that you left

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some pretty pathetic voice-mails.

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"I don't care

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whose monitoring this call, Vicky."

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"We should be together!"

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Pick up the phone, dammit!

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I'm a human being, not an animal!"

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Now, the Patriot-act was written

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just after 9-11.

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And for years it was extended

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and re-authorized

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with barely a passing thought.

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In fact, it became so routine,

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that when it was extended in 2011,

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one newscast just tacked it

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onto the end of a report

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about a Presidential trip abroad.

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Chip Reid. CBS-news.

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Travelling with the President

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in Deauville, France.

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Also in France, by the way,

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President Obama signed in a law,

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4- year extension

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of the terrorism fighting Patriot-Act.

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Also in France, by the way?

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By the way?

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He threw that in,

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like a mother telling her grown daughter

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that a childhood pet just died.

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"Oh, nice talking to you, sweety.

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Also, by the way, Mr. Peppers is dead.

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See you at Christmas." BANG

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But all of that,

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was before the public was made aware

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of what the Government's capabilities

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actually were.

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'Cause that all ended in June of 2013.

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Edward Snowden has just

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taken responsibility for one of the

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biggest government leaks in US history.

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We learned that the government has the

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capacity to track virtually every American

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phone-call, and to scoop up

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impossibly vast quantities of data

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across the internet.

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Revelations that the NSA eavesdropped

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on world leaders.

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If you've ever been to the Bahamas,

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the NSA could've recorded your phone-calls

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and stored them up to a month.

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All that information was exposed

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by Edward Snowden.

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And it is still kind of incredible,

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that a 29-year-old contractor

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was able to steal top-secret documents

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from an organization

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that LITERALLY has the word 'security'

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in it's name.

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Clearly, that was not great for them.

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Because the only place where it should

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be THAT easy

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for employees in their 20-ies to steal

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is a Lids store.

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"Dude, you sure we should take this?"

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"Relax, dude, it's a Miami Marlins-cap,

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we're not exactly selling

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Fabergé eggs here."

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It is still unclear,

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exactly how many documents

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Edward Snowden stole.

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Although he is consistently trying

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to re-assure people that he put them

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in good hands.

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Honestly, I don't want to be the person

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making the decisions about what should

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be public and what shouldn't.

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Which is why I

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rather than publishing these on my own

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or putting them out openly,

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I'm running them through journalists.

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Well, that sounds great.

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But of course it's not a fail-safe plan.

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As was proven when the New York Times

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published this slide,

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but did such a sloppy job

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of blocking out redacted information,

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that some people were able to read

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the information behind that black bar,

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which concerned how the US was monitoring

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Al Qaida in Mosul.

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A group now known as ISIS.

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So essentially,

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a national security secret was leaked,

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because no-one at the Times

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knows how to use Microsoft Paint.

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And look, you can think

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that Snowden did the wrong thing, or

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did it in the wrong way.

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But the fact is:

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we have this information now,

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and we no longer get the luxury

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of pleading ignorance.

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It's like you can't go to Sea World

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and pretend that Shamu's happy anymore.

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When we now know

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at least half the water in her tank

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is whale-tears.

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We know that now.

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You can't un-know that information.

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So you have to bear that in mind.

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But here's the thing:

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It's now 2 years later,

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and it seems like we've kind of

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forgotten to have a debate

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over the content of what Snowden leaked.

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A recent Pew-report found that nearly

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half of Americans say that they're

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'not very concerned'

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or 'not at all concerned'

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about government surveillance.

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Which is fine.

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If that's an informed opinion.

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But I'm not sure that it is.

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Because we actually sent a camera-crew

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to Times Square to ask

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some random passers by

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who Edward Snowden was

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and what he did.

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And there are the responses that we got.

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I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

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Have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

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I've heard the name, I just can't picture,

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think right now exactly what it is.

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Edward Snowden...

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No. I do not.

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Just for the record, that wasn't

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that wasn't cherry picking.

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That was entirely reflective

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of everyone we spoke to.

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Although, to be fair

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some people did remember his name,

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they just couldn't remember why.

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He sold some information to people.

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He revealed some information

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that shouldn't have been revealed.

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I think from what I remember,

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is that the information that he shared

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was detrimental to our military secrets?

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And keeping our soldiers and our country

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safe?

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He leaked documents what the Army's

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operations in Iraq.

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Edward Snowden revealed a bunch of

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of secrets, I guess, or information

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into Wiki, Wikileaks?

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Edward Snowden leaked...

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Ah, he's in charge of Wikileaks?

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Edward Snowden revealed a lot of

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documents through Wikileaks...?

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Okay, so here's the thing:

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Edward Snowden is NOT the Wikileaks guy.

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The Wikileaks guy is Julian Assange.

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And you do not want

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to be confused with him.

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Partly because he was far less careful

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than Snowden in what he released,

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and how.

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And partly because he resembles

280
00:08:50,035 --> 00:08:52,170
a sandwich-bag full of biscuit-dough

281
00:08:52,170 --> 00:08:54,139
wearing a Stevie Nicks-wig.

282
00:08:54,139 --> 00:08:56,553
And that is, that is ciritical.

283
00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:58,965
Julian Assange is not a like-able man.

284
00:08:58,965 --> 00:09:01,556
Even Benedict Cumberbatch could not

285
00:09:01,556 --> 00:09:03,312
make him like-able.

286
00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:05,422
He's un-Cumberbatch-able.

287
00:09:06,114 --> 00:09:07,271
That was supposed to be

288
00:09:07,271 --> 00:09:08,881
physically impossible.

289
00:09:09,442 --> 00:09:10,640
But I don't blame people

290
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:11,848
for being confused.

291
00:09:11,848 --> 00:09:13,122
We've been looking at this story

292
00:09:13,122 --> 00:09:14,556
for the last 2 weeks,

293
00:09:14,556 --> 00:09:17,192
and it is hard to get your head around.

294
00:09:17,192 --> 00:09:18,807
Not just because there are so many

295
00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,769
complicated programs to keep track of,

296
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,963
but also because

297
00:09:21,963 --> 00:09:23,787
there are no easy answers here.

298
00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:26,316
We all naturally want perfect privacy,

299
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,536
and perfect safety.

300
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:31,170
But those 2 things cannot coexist.

301
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,565
It's like how you can't have

302
00:09:32,565 --> 00:09:34,695
a badass pet falcon...

303
00:09:34,695 --> 00:09:37,235
and an adorable pet vole named Herbert.

304
00:09:39,140 --> 00:09:41,397
Either you have to lose one of them,

305
00:09:41,397 --> 00:09:43,310
which obviously you don't want to do.

306
00:09:43,310 --> 00:09:45,159
Or you have to accept some reasonable

307
00:09:45,159 --> 00:09:46,899
restrictions on both of them.

308
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,925
Now to be fair, the NSA will argue

309
00:09:49,925 --> 00:09:52,092
that just because they can do something

310
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,612
doesn't mean they do do it.

311
00:09:53,612 --> 00:09:55,424
And, that there are restrictions

312
00:09:55,424 --> 00:09:57,039
on their operations,

313
00:09:57,039 --> 00:09:58,368
such as the FISA-court,

314
00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:00,587
which must approve requests for

315
00:10:00,587 --> 00:10:01,692
foreign surveillance.

316
00:10:01,692 --> 00:10:02,318
But.

317
00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:04,775
In 34 years, that court has approved

318
00:10:04,775 --> 00:10:07,116
over 35000 applications,

319
00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:09,146
and only rejected 12.

320
00:10:10,101 --> 00:10:12,677
Yes. Much like Robert Durst's second wife.

321
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:16,156
The FISA-court is alarmingly accepting.

322
00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:18,073
"Listen, Robert"

323
00:10:18,073 --> 00:10:20,399
"I'm not gonna ask you too many questions.

324
00:10:20,399 --> 00:10:22,456
I'm just gonna give you the benefit of a

325
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:24,302
doubt that you clearly don't deserve."

326
00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:27,522
At least tell him to blink and burp less.

327
00:10:29,366 --> 00:10:31,980
The burping might be the most troubling

328
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,740
thing about that show.

329
00:10:35,403 --> 00:10:38,052
So, so maybe there's time for us to talk.

330
00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:39,961
About where the limits should be.

331
00:10:39,961 --> 00:10:41,971
And the best place to start would be

332
00:10:41,984 --> 00:10:43,840
Section 215.

333
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:48,020
Not just because it's the easiest one

334
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to understand,

335
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but there is wide-spread agreement

336
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it needs to be reformed.

337
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
From the President, to Ted Cruz,

338
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to both the ACLU and the NRA,

339
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to even the guy who wrote the thing

340
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the first place.

341
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was the principal author

342
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of the Patriot Act.

343
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I can say that without qualification

344
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Congress never did intend to allow

345
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
bulk-collections when it passed

346
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Section 215.

347
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And no fair reading of the text would

348
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
allow for this program.

349
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Think about that.

350
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He was the author.

351
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's the legislative equivalent

352
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of Lewis Carrol seeing the tea-cups ride

353
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at Disney Land, and saying:

354
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"This has got to be reined in.

355
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No fair reading of my text would allow

356
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for this ride."

357
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"You've turned my perfectly nice

358
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
tail of psychedelic paedofilia

359
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
into a garish vomitorium."

360
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"This is not what I wanted!"

361
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And even the NSA has said that

362
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the number of terror-plots

363
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the US, that the Section 215

364
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
phone-records program has disrupted is 1.

365
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And it's worth noting that that 1 plot

366
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
involved a cabdriver in San Diego

367
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who gave $8500 to a terror-group.

368
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that is the shittiest terrorist-plot

369
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've ever seen, other than the plot of

370
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A Good Day To Die Hard.

371
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But here's the big problem here:

372
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we let Section 215 get renewed in it's

373
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
current form, without serious public

374
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
debate, we're in trouble.

375
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because Section 215

376
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is the canary in the coalmine.

377
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we cannot fix that,

378
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we're not gonna fix any of them.

379
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the public debate so far,

380
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
has been absolutely pathetic.

381
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
A year ago, a former congresswoman

382
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was discussing the 215 program on the news.

383
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Watch wat happened.

384
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This vast collection of data

385
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is not that useful, and infringes

386
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
substantially on personal privacy.

387
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think at this point we should seriously

388
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
consider not continuing...

389
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Congress woman, let me interrupt you.

390
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let me interrupt you just for one moment.

391
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We've got some breaking news out of Miami.

392
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stand by if you will.

393
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right now in Miami, Justin Beiber

394
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
has been arrested on a number of charges.

395
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The judge is reading the charges,

396
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
including resisting arrest and driving

397
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
under the influence.

398
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He's appearing now before the judge

399
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for his bond-hearing. Let's watch.

400
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Actually, you know what?

401
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Bad news, we're gonna have to interrupt

402
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
your interruption of the Beiber news,

403
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for a new interruption.

404
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This time featuring a YouTube video of a

405
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
tortoise having sex with a plastic clog.

406
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's watch.

407
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That. Is essentially the current tone

408
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of this vitally important debate.

409
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And again: I'm not saying this is

410
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
an easy conversation.

411
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But we have to have it.

412
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know this is confusing.

413
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And unfortunately, the most obvious

414
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
person to talk to about this,

415
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is Edward Snowden.

416
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But he currently lives in Russia.

417
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Meaning, if you wanted to ask him

418
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about any of these issues,

419
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you'd have to fly all the way there

420
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to do it, and it is not a pleasant flight.

421
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the reason I know that...

422
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is that last week, I went to Russia

423
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to speak to Edward Snowden.

424
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And this is what happened.

425
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes, last week I spent 48 paranoid hours

426
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in Moscow.

427
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Arguably the last place on earth where you

428
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
can find an overweight Josef Stalin

429
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
impersonator arguing with an unconvinsing

430
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
fake Lenin.

431
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And after experiencing Russia's famously

432
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
warm hospitality, I went to meet

433
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward Snowden.

434
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Who is supposed to show up in this room

435
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at noon.

436
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
However, after 5 minutes after

437
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the interview was scheduled to begin,

438
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I had a troubling thought.

439
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't know.

440
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You think he's coming?

441
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause my argument is:

442
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why would he?

443
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When you think about it.

444
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I got 2000 roebels that says

445
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he doesn't make it.

446
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Without understanding how much that is.

447
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All I'm saying is...

448
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a 10-hour flight for an empty chair...

449
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm gonna lose my shit.

450
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay, it turns out that there may be

451
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a bit of a problem.

452
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause our Russian producer...

453
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
booked us in a room

454
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
directly overlooking...

455
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the old KGB-building.

456
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And the home of the current

457
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Federal Security Bureau.

458
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I'm just been told that they know

459
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we're here.

460
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So uhm...

461
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So that happened.

462
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uhm, just if the Russian...

463
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Russian KGB is listening:

464
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we'll ring the fire-alarm

465
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if he's not coming.

466
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh shit.

467
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh God.

468
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-So sorry for the delay.

469
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's fine.

470
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
HOLY SHIT.

471
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He actually came.

472
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward f*cking Snowden.

473
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The most famous here and/or traitor

474
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in recent American history!

475
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I've started with a question designed

476
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to test his loyalties.

477
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How much do you miss America?

478
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-You know, my country is something

479
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-that travels with me, you know.

480
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-It's not just a geogro...

481
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well that's already

482
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a way too complicated answer.

483
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The right answer is:

484
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I miss it a lot, it's the greatest

485
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
country in the world.

486
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-I do miss my country.

487
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-I do miss my home, I do miss my family.

488
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Do you miss hot pockets?

489
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-Yes.

490
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-I miss hot pockets. Very much.

491
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. The entire state of Florida?

492
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let's just let that silence

493
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
hang in the air.

494
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Truck nuts?

495
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You miss truck nuts?

496
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-I don't know what they are.

497
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Lucky for you, Edward...

498
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not just truck nuts.

499
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Stars and stripes truck nuts.

500
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That is 2 balls of liberty

501
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in a freedom sack.

502
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-You really thought ahead.

503
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, at least one of us did.

504
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You know, 'cause of the... uhm...

505
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the quandary... the...

506
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Kafka-esque nightmare that you're in.

507
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. Let's dive in.

508
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Why did you do this?

509
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
-The NSA has the greatest surveillance

510
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
capabilities that we've ever seen

511
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in history.

512
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, what they will argue

513
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is that they don't use this

514
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for nefarious purposes against

515
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
American citizens.

516
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In some ways that's true.

517
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But the real problem is that

518
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they're using these capabilities

519
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to make us vulnerable to them,

520
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and then saying:

521
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
While I've got a gun pointed at your head,

522
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm not going to pull the trigger.

523
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Trust me.

524
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, what does the NSA you want look like?

525
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause you applied for a job at the NSA.

526
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So you clearly see an inherent value

527
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in that shadowy organization.

528
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I worked with mass-surveillance systems

529
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
against Chinese hackers.

530
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I saw, that you know, these things

531
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
do have some purpose.

532
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And you want your spies to be good

533
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
at spying.

534
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
To be fair.

535
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right.

536
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What you don't want...

537
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is you don't want them spying inside

538
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
their own country.

539
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Spies are great when they're on our side.

540
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But we can never forget that they're

541
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
incredibly powerful,

542
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and incredibly dangerous,

543
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and when they're off the leash...

544
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they can end up coming after us.

545
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But just to be clear, we're talking about

546
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
2 different things here.

547
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Domestic surveillance,

548
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and foreign surveillance.

549
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right.

550
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause domestic surveillance...

551
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Americans give some of a shit about.

552
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Foreign surveillance...

553
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they don't give any remote shit about.

554
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well the second question is

555
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
when we talk about foreign surveillance

556
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
are we applying it in ways that are

557
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
beneficial...

558
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No-one cares.

559
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In terms...

560
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No. They don't give a shit.

561
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We spied on UNICEF.

562
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The children's fund.

563
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Sure.

564
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We spied on lawyers negotiating...

565
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What was UNICEF doing?

566
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean, that's the question there.

567
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Isn't it?

568
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The question is:

569
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
are these projects valuable?

570
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Are we going to be safer when we're spying

571
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on UNICEF and lawyers who are talking about

572
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the price of shrimp and clove cigarettes.

573
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't think people say that's good.

574
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think they'll say:

575
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I definitely don't care.

576
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Americans do not give a shit.

577
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think you're right.

578
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
About foreign surveillance.

579
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What some people do care about

580
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is whether Snowden considered

581
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the adverse consequences of leaking

582
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
so much information at once.

583
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How many of those documents

584
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
have you actually read.

585
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've evaluated all the documents

586
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that are in the archive.

587
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You've read every single one?

588
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I do understand what I've turned over.

589
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But there's a difference between

590
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
understanding what's in the documents

591
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and reading what's in the documents.

592
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I recognized the concern.

593
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause when you're handing over

594
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
thousands of NSA documents,

595
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the last thing you want to do

596
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is read them.

597
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think it's fair to be concerned about,

598
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'did this person do enough?

599
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
were they careful enough?'

600
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Especially when you're handling material

601
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like we know you are handling.

602
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, in my defense:

603
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm not handling anything anymore.

604
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's been passed to the journalists,

605
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and they're using extraordinary

606
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
security measures that this is reported

607
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the most responsible way.

608
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But, those are journalists

609
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
with a lower technical skill-set than you.

610
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's true,

611
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but then they do understand

612
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
just like you and I do.

613
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just how important it

614
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to get this right.

615
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So the New York Times took a slide,

616
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
didn't redact it properly...

617
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and...

618
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the end it was possible

619
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for people to see that something

620
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was being used in Mosul.

621
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
On Al'Qaida.

622
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That is a problem.

623
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, that's a f*ck-up.

624
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is a f*ck-up.

625
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And these things do happen in reporting.

626
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In journalism we have to accept

627
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that some mistakes will be made.

628
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is a fundamental concept of liberty.

629
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right.

630
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But you have to own that then.

631
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're giving documents with imformation

632
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you know could be harmful...

633
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which could get out there.

634
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

635
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If people act in bad faith.

636
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're not even talking about bad faith.

637
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're talking about incompetents.

638
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We are.

639
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But you will never be

640
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
completely free from risk,

641
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if you're free.

642
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The only time you can be free from risk

643
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is when you're in prison.

644
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
While the risks were significant,

645
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Snowden himself has made it clear.

646
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He feels the rewards have been worth it.

647
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You've said in you letters to Brasil:

648
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I was motivated by a believe that

649
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the citizens of the world deserve to

650
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
understand the system in which they live.

651
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
My greatest fear was that no-one

652
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
would listen to my warning.

653
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Never have I been so glad

654
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to have been so wrong."

655
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How did that feel?

656
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I was initially terrified that this

657
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
was going to be a 3 day story,

658
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
everybody was going to forget about it.

659
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But when I saw that...

660
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
everybody around the world said:

661
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Wow, this is a problem.

662
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We have to do something about this",

663
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it felt like vindication.

664
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even in America?

665
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even in America.

666
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I think we're seeing

667
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
something amazing.

668
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which is if you ask... the American people

669
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to make tough decisions,

670
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to confront tough issues,

671
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to think about hard problems...

672
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they'll actually surprise you.

673
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.

674
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Here's the problem:

675
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did ask some Americans.

676
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And, boy did it surprise me.

677
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

678
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You've never heard of Edward Snowden?

679
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

680
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

681
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I've heard the name...

682
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just can't picture and think right now

683
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
exactly who it is.

684
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, he's... uhm...

685
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He sold some information to people.

686
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
He revealed some information

687
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that shouldn't have been revealed.

688
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward Snowden revealed a lot of documents

689
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
through Wikileaks.

690
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward Snowden revealed a bunch

691
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of secrets, I guess...

692
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or information into Wikileaks.

693
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward Snowden leaked... uhm...

694
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
he's in charge of Wikileaks.

695
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm in charge of Wikileaks.

696
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Not ideal.

697
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I guess, on the plus side...

698
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you might be able to go home.

699
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause it seems like no-one knows

700
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who the f*ck you are.

701
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or what the f*ck you did.

702
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We can't except everybody to be uniformly

703
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
informed.

704
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, did you do this to solve a problem?

705
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did this to give the American people

706
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a chance to decide for themselves

707
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the kind of government they want to have.

708
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That is a conversation that I think that

709
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the American people deserve to decide.

710
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
There is no doubt that it is

711
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a critical conversation.

712
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But is it a conversation that we have

713
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the capacity to have?

714
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because it's so complicated.

715
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We don't fundamentally understand it.

716
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It is a challenging conversation.

717
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I mean, it's difficult for most people

718
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to even conceptualize.

719
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The problem is,

720
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the internet is massively complex,

721
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and so much of it is invisible.

722
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Service providers, technicians, engineers,

723
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the phonenumbers....

724
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Let me stop you right there, Edward.

725
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause this is the whole problem.

726
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Right.

727
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is the whole problem.

728
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I just, I glaze over.

729
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause it's like the IT-guy

730
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
comes into your office,

731
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and you go: "Ooh shit."

732
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In fairness...

733
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Ooh shit, don't teach me anything."

734
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"I don't want to learn."

735
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"You smell like canned soup."

736
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's a real challenge to figure out

737
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
how do we communicate

738
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
things that require sort of years and years

739
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of technical understanding.

740
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And compress that into seconds of speech.

741
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, I'm sympathetic to the problem there.

742
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But the thing is,

743
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
everything you did only matters

744
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if we have this conversation properly.

745
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So let me help you out there.

746
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You mentioned in an interview

747
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that the NSA was passing around

748
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
naked photo's of people.

749
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah. This is something where it's...

750
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's not actually seen as a big deal.

751
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
In the culture of NSA.

752
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because you see naked pictures

753
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
all of the time.

754
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That.

755
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Terrifies people.

756
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Cause when we asked people about THAT...

757
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
this is the response you get.

758
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Government should not be able

759
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to look at dick-pictures.

760
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If the Government was looking at

761
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a picture of Gordon's penis,

762
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I definitely feel it would be an invasion

763
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of my privacy.

764
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Ah, yeah, if the Government was looking at

765
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
pictures of my penis, that would upset me.

766
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They should never, ever,

767
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the US Government have a picture,

768
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of my dick.

769
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If my husband sent me

770
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
a picture of his penis,

771
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and the Government could access it,

772
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would want that program to be shut down.

773
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would want the Dick-pic Program changed.

774
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would also want

775
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the Dick-pic Program changed.

776
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I think it would be terrific,

777
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
if the program could change.

778
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would want it to be tweeked,

779
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would want it to have

780
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
clear and transparent laws

781
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that we knew about.

782
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And that were communicated to us.

783
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
To understand what they

784
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
were being used for.

785
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Or why the were being kept.

786
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Do you think that program exists?

787
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't.

788
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I don't think that program exists at all.

789
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

790
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

791
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

792
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

793
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If I had knowledge that the US Government

794
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
had a picture of my dick...

795
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I would be very pissed off.

796
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well...

797
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The good news is that there's no

798
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
program named 'the Dick-pic Program'.

799
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The bad news is that they're still

800
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
collecting everybody's information.

801
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Including your dick-pics.

802
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What's the over/under of that last guy

803
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
sent a dick-pic recently?

804
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You don't need to guess.

805
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'll show you.

806
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did.

807
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I did take a picture of my... dick.

808
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I sent it to a girl. Recently.

809
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
This is the most visible line in the sand

810
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for people.

811
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Can they see my dick?"

812
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, with that in mind...

813
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
look inside that folder.

814
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That.

815
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is a picture of my dick.

816
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So let's go through each NSA program,

817
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and explain to me it's capabilities

818
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in regards to that photograph...

819
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of my penis.

820
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So.

821
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
702 Surveillance: can they see my dick?

822
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

823
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
The Pfizen act of 2008,

824
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
which Section 702 falls under,

825
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
allows the bulk-collection of

826
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
internet communications that are

827
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
one-end foreign.

828
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Bulk-collection:

829
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
now we're talking about my dick.

830
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You get it.

831
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I do.

832
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because it's, it's, yeah.

833
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So, if you have you're email somewhere...

834
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
like G-mail, hosted over seas or

835
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
transferred somewhere over seas,

836
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or any time crosses outside the borders

837
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of the United States...

838
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you're junk ends up in the database.

839
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So it doesn't have to be

840
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
sending your dick to a German?

841
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

842
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Even if you sent it to somebody

843
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
within the United States,

844
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
your wholly domestic communication

845
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
between you and your wife

846
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
can go from New York...

847
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to London and back.

848
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And get caught up in the database.

849
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Executive Order 12-333: Dick or no dick?

850
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

851
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
EO 12-333 is what the NSA uses

852
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
when the other authorities aren't

853
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
aggressive enough,

854
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or they're not catching as much

855
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as they like.

856
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
For example...

857
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
How are they gonna see my dick?

858
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I'm only concerned about my penis.

859
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When you send your junk

860
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
through G-mail, for example,

861
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that's stored on Google-servers.

862
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Google moves data.

863
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
From datacenter to datacenter.

864
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Invisibly to you, without your knowledge.

865
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Your data could be moved outside

866
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the borders of the United States.

867
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Oh no.

868
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Temporarily.

869
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
When your junk was passed by G-mail,

870
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the NSA caught a copy of that.

871
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Prism.

872
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Prism is how they pull your junk

873
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
out of Google, with Google's involvement.

874
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All of the different Prism partners,

875
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
people like Yahoo, Facebook, Google,

876
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the Government deputizes them, to be,

877
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
sort of their little surveillance sherif.

878
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They're a dick-sherif.

879
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Correct.

880
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Uhm, Upstream.

881
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Upstream is how they snatch your junk

882
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
as it transes the internet.

883
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay. Mystic.

884
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you're describing your junk

885
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on the phone?

886
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

887
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But do they have the content

888
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of that junk-call,

889
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or just the duration of it?

890
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They have the content as well,

891
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but only for a few countries.

892
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you are on vacation in the Bahamas?

893
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

894
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Finally. And you need to remind yourself?

895
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, I'm just not sure...

896
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
what to do with this.

897
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just hold on to it.

898
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
It's a lot of responsibility.

899
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah. It is a lot of responsibility.

900
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That's the whole point.

901
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Should I...?

902
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, you should absolutely not.

903
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And it's unbelievable

904
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that you would do that.

905
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Actually, it's entirely believable.

906
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
215 meta-data?

907
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

908
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Good.

909
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
But...

910
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Come on, Ed.

911
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They can probably tell who you're sharing

912
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
your junk pictures with.

913
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because they're seeing

914
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who you're texting with,

915
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
who you're calling.

916
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you're calling

917
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the penis enlargement centre at 3 AM

918
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and that call lasted 90 minutes?

919
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They would have a record

920
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of YOUR phone-number

921
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
calling THAT phone-number.

922
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
(Which is a penis enlargement center).

923
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They would say they don't know

924
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it's penis enlargement center,

925
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
but of course they can look it up.

926
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Edward, if the American people

927
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
understood this...

928
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
they would be absolutely horrified.

929
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I guess I never thought about putting it

930
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the...

931
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
in the context of your junk.

932
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Would a good take-away from this be...

933
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
'Until such time as we sorted

934
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
all of this out...

935
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
don't take pictures of your dick'.

936
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just don't do it anymore.

937
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No.

938
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If we do that.

939
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wait, hold on, you're saying 'no'?

940
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yeah.

941
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You should be

942
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
taking pictures of your dick?

943
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Yes.

944
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You shouldn't change your behavior

945
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because a Government agency somehwere

946
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is doing the wrong thing.

947
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
If you sacrifice our values

948
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
because we're afraid...

949
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
we don't care

950
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about those values very much.

951
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
That is a pretty inspiring answer

952
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to the question:

953
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Hey, why did you just send me a picutre

954
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of your dick?"

955
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
"Because I love America, that's why."

956
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
So there you have it, America.

957
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
All of us should now be equipped

958
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
to have this vital debate.

959
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Because by June 1,

960
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
it is imperative we have a rational,

961
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
adult conversation

962
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
about whether our safety is worth

963
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
living in a country of barely regulated

964
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Government sanctioned dick-sherifs.

965
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And with my work here done,

966
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
there was just time to take care of

967
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
one more thing.

968
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Finally, congratulations

969
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on winning the Oscar.

970
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I know you couldn't be at the ceremony

971
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for obvious reasons, so...

972
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Hah?

973
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow.

974
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I thought we'd celebrate ourselves.

975
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Cheers.

976
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Wow, that's...

977
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
that's really something.

978
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Thank you.

979
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're welcome.

980
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
What's the over/under on me

981
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
getting home safely?

982
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Well, if you weren't on the list before,

983
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
you are now.

984
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Is that like, uhm...

985
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
is that like a figu... is that like a joke

986
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
or is that actually possible?

987
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
No, it's... it's a real thing.

988
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
You're associated now.

989
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Okay.

990
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just to be clear NSA:

991
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I never met this guy, so

992
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
take me off you're f*cking list.

993
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I do not want to get stuck in Russia.

994
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I want to go home I want to go home

995
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
I want to go home I want to go home

996
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Now, just for the record.

997
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Just so you know.

998
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
We got in touch with the NSA,

999
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
the National Security Council,

1000
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and the White House,

1001
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
and we asked them to comment

1002
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
on the dick-pick capabilities

1003
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
of each of the programs Edward Snowden

1004
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
just discussed.

1005
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
Which incidentally was some very fun

1006
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
emails to write to Government agencies.

1007
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
They didn't wish to comment on the record.

1008
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
And I can see why,

1009
99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999
for every possible reason.