9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our main story tonight

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is government surveillance.

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And I realize most people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
would rather have a conversation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about literally any other topic.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Including: 'Is my smartphone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
giving me cancer?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
To which the answer is: probably.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or: Do goldfish suffer from depression?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
To which the answer is:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, but very briefly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the fact is, it is vital that we

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
have a discussion about this now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because an important date is just around the corner.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"One big day to circle on the calendar,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when it comes to a very controversial subject.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The re-authorization of the Patriot Act,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and all of the controversial

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
provisions therein.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
June 1 they've got to come to an agreement

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to re-authorize or curttail those programs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes. Some controversial provisions within

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Patriot Act are to expire on June 1.

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So circle that date

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on your calendars, everyone.

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And while you're at it:

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Circle June 2 as well.

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Because that's Justin Long's birthday.

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You all forgot last year...

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and he f*cking noticed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, over the last couple of years,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you've probably heard a lot about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
strange-sounding programs. Such as:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
X-Keyscore, Muscular, Prism, and Mystic.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which are, coincidentally, also the names

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of some of Florida's least popular

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
stripclubs.

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"Welcome to X-Keyscore!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our dancers are fully un-redacted

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and Tuesday is wing-night!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But if you don't mind, I would like to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
refresh your memory over some of this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And let's start our focussing on the most

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
controversial portion of the Patriot Act,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that is up for renewal. Section 215.

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Which, I'm aware, sounds like the name

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of an Eastern European boy-band.

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"We are Section 215.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prepare to have your hearts...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
throbbed."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There's the cute one, the bad-boy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the one who strangled a potato-farmer,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the one without an eye-deficiency.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They're incredible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the contentst of the real Section 215

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is actually even more sinister.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's called Section 215.

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Nicknamed: the library records provision.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which allows the Government to require

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
businesses to hand over records of any

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"any tangible things"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
including: books, records, documents,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and other items.

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If that sounds broad, that's because

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was very much written that way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Section 215 says the Government can ask

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for "any tangible things" so long as it's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"for an investigation to protect

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
against international terrorism".

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Which is basically a blank cheque.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's letting a teenager borrow the car,

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under the strict condition that they

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
only use it for 'car-related activities'.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Okay, mom and dad, I'm gonna use this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for a hand-job in the Wendy's parking lot,

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but that is car-related,

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so I think I'm covered."

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Section 215 is overseen

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by a secret intelligence-court,

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known as the Pfizer-court.

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And they've interpreted it to mean

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Government could basically

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
collect and store phone-records for

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
every American.

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The vast majority of whom, of course, have

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
no connection to terrorism.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Unless, Aunt Cheryl has been greatly

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
mis-characterized the activities

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of her needle-point club.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"It's a sleeper-cell!

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Isn't is, Aunt Cheryl?"

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"You are hanged for this, Aungt Cheryl.

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You're a traiter and a terrible aunt.

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Not in that order."

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Now, the Government will point out

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that under 215, they hold phone-records,

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and not the calls themselves.

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What the intelligence-community is doing,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is looking at phone-numbers,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and durations of calls,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they are not looking at peoples names,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and they are not looking at content.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, but that's not entirely reassuring.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because you can extrapolate a lot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from that information.

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If they knew that you'd called your ex

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
12 times last night, between 1 and 4 AM,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for a duration of 15 minutes each time,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they can be fairly sure that you've left

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
some pretty pathetic voice-mails.

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"I don't care whose monitoring this call,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Vicky, we should be together!

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Pick up the phone, dammit!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm a human being, not an animal!"

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Now, the Patriot-act was written,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just after 9-11.

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And for years,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was extended and re-authorized

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with barely a passing thought.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In fact, it became so routine,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that when it was extended in 2011,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
one newscaster just tacked it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
onto the end of a report

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about a Presidential trip abroad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Chip Reemes. CBS-news is travelling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with the President in Dovell, France.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also in France, by the way,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
President Obama signed in

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the law 4- year extension

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of the terrorism fighting Patriot-Act.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also in France, by the way?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
By the way?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He threw that in,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like a mother telling her young daughter

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that her childhood pet just died.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Oh, nice talking to you, sweety.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Also, by the way, Mr. Peppers is dead,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
see you at Christmas." BANG

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But all of that,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was before the public was made aware

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of what the Government's capabilities

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
actually were.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause that all ended in June of 2013.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden has just

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
taken responsibility for one of the

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
biggest Government leaks in US history.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We learned that the Government has the

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
capacity to track virtually every American

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
phone-call, and to scoop up

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
impossibly vast quantities of data

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
across the Internet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Revelations that the NSA eavesdropped

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on world leaders.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Have you've ever been to the Bahamas,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the NSA could've recorded your phone-calls

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and stored them up to a month.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All that information was exposed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by Edward Snowden.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it is still kind of incredible,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that a 29-year old contractor,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was able to steal top-secret documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
from an organization

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that LITERALLY has the word 'security'

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in it's name.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Clearly, that was not great for them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because the only place where it should

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
be that easy for employees in their 20-ies

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to steal, is a Lids store.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Dude, you sure we should take this?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Relax, dude, it's a Miami Marlins-cap,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we're not exactly selling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Fabergé eggs here."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is still unclear,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
exactly how many documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden stole.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Although he is consistently trying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to re-assure people that he put them

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in good hands.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Honestly, I don't want to be the person

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
making the decisions about what should

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
be public and what shouldn't.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which is why I, rather than publishing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
these on my own or putting them openly,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm putting them through journalists.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, that sounds great.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But of course it's not a fail-safe plan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
As was proven when the New York Times

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
published this slide,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but did such a sloppy job of blocking out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
redacted information, that some people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were able to read the information behind

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that black bar,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which concerned how the US was monitoring

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Al-Qaida in Mosul,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a group now known as ISIS.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So essentially,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a national security secret was leaked,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because no-one at the Times knows

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how to use Microsoft Paint.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And look, you can think

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that Snowden did the wrong thing, or

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
did it in the wrong way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the fact it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we have this information now,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we no longer get the luxury

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of pleading ignorance.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like you can't go to Sea World and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pretend Sha-Mu's happy anymore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When we now know,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at least have the water in her tank

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is whale-tears.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We know that now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You can't un-know that information.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So you have to bear that in mind.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But here's the thing:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's now 2 years later,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and it seems like we've kind of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
forgotten to have a debate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
over the content of what Snowden leaked.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A recent Pew-report found that nearly

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
half of Americans say they're

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'not very concerned', of 'not at all

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
concerned' about Government surveillance.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which is fine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If that's an informed opinion.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I'm not sure that it is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because we actually sent a camera-crew

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to Times Square to ask some random

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
passers by who Edward Snowden was,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and what he did.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And there are the responses that we got.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've heard the name, I just can't picutre

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
right now exactly what it is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No. I do not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just for the record, that wasn't

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
cherry picking.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That was entirely reflective of everyone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we spoke to.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Although, to be fair, some people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
did remember his name,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they just couldn't remember why.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He sold some information to people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He revealed some information

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that shouldn't have been revealed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think from what I remember,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is that the information that he shared

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was detrimental to our military secrets?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And keeping our soldiers

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and our country safe?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He leaked documents what the Army's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
operations in Iraq.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden revealed a bunch

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of secrets, I guess, or information

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into Wiki, Wikileaks?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden leaked...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he's in charge of Wikileaks?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden revealed a lot of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
documents through Wikileaks...?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay, so here's the thing:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden is NOT the Wikileaks guy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Wikileaks guy is Julian Assange.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you do not want to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
be confused by him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Partly because he was far less careful

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
than Snowden with what he released,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and how.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And partly because he resembles

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a sandwich-bag full of biscuits while

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wearing a Stevie Knicks-wig.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that is, that is ciritical.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Julian Assange is not a like-able man.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even Benedict Cumberbatch could not

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
make him like-able.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's un-Cumberbatch-able.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That was supposed to be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
physically impossible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't blame people for being confused.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We've been looking at this story

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for the last 2 weeks,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and it is hard to get your head around.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not just because there are so many

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
complicated programs to keep track of,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but also because

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there are no easy answers here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We all naturally want perfect privacy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and perfect safety.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But those 2 things cannot coexist.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's like how you can't have

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a badass pet falcon...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and an adorable pet vole named Herbert.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Either you have to lose one of them,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which obviously you don't want to do.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or you have to accept some reasonable

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
restrictions on both of them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now to be fair, the NSA will argue

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that just because they can do something

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
doesn't mean they do do it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And, that there are restrictions on their

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
operations, such as the Pfizer-court,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which, must approve requests for

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
foreign surveillance.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In 34 years, that court has approved

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
some 35000 applications,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and only rejected 12.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes. Much like Robert Durst's second wife.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Pfizer-court is alarmingly accepting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Listen, Robert, I'm not gonna

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
ask you too many questions.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm just gonna give you the benefit of the

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
doubts that you clearly don't deserve."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At least tell him to blink and burp less.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The burping might be the most troubling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
thing about that show.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, so maybe there's time for us to talk.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
About where the limits should be.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the best place to start would be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Section 215.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not just because it's the easiest one

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to understand,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but there is wide-spread agreement

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it needs to be reformed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
From the President, to Ted Cruz,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to both the ACLU and the NRA,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to even the guy who wrote the thing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the first place.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was the principal author

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of the Patriot Act.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I can say that without qualification

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Congress never did intend to allow

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
bulk-collections when it passed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Section 215.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And no fair reading of the text would

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
allow for this program.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Think about that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He was the author.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's the legislative equivalent

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of Lewis Carrol seeing the tea-cups ride

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at Disney Land, and saying:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"This has got to be reined in.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No fair reading of my text would allow

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for this ride."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"You've turned my perfectly nice

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
tail of psychedelic paedofilia

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into a garish vomitorium."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"This is not what I wanted!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And even the NSA has said that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the number of terror-plots

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the US, that the Section 215

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
phone-records program has disrupted is 1.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's worth noting that that 1 plot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
involved a cabdriver in San Diego

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who gave $8500 to a terror-group.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that is the shittiest terrorist-plot

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've ever seen, other than the plot of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A Good Day To Die Hard.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But here's the big problem here:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If we let Section 215 get renewed in it's

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
current form, without serious public

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
debate, we're in trouble.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because Section 215

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is the canary in the coalmine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If we cannot fix that,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we're not gonna fix any of them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the public debate so far,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
has been absolutely pathetic.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A year ago, a former congresswoman

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was discussing the 215 program on the news.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Watch wat happened.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This vast collection of data

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is not that useful, and infringes

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
substantially on personal privacy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think at this point we should seriously

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
consider not continuing...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Congress woman, let me interrupt you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let me interrupt you just for one moment.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We've got some breaking news out of Miami.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Stand by if you will.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right now in Miami, Justin Beiber

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
has been arrested on a number of charges.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The judge is reading the charges,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
including resisting arrest and driving

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
under the influence.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He's appearing now before the judge

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for his bond-hearing. Let's watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Actually, you know what?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bad news, we're gonna have to interrupt

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
your interruption of the Beiber news,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for a new interruption.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This time featuring a YouTube video of a

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
tortoise having sex with a plastic clog.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let's watch.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That. Is essentially the current tone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of this vitally important debate.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And again: I'm not saying this is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
an easy conversation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But we have to have it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I know this is confusing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And unfortunately, the most obvious

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
person to talk to about this,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is Edward Snowden.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But he currently lives in Russia.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Meaning, if you wanted to ask him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about any of these issues,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you'd have to fly all the way there

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to do it, and it is not a pleasant flight.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the reason I know that...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is that last week, I went to Russia

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to speak to Edward Snowden.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And this is what happened.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes, last week I spent 48 paranoid hours

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in Moscow.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Arguably the last place on earth where you

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
can find an overweight Josef Stalin

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
impersonator arguing with an unconvinsing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fake Lenin.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And after experiencing Russia's famously

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
warm hospitality, I went to meet

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Who is supposed to show up in this room

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at noon.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
However, after 5 minutes after

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the interview was scheduled to begin,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I had a troubling thought.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You think he's coming?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause my argument is:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why would he?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When you think about it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I got 2000 roebels that says

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he doesn't make it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Without understanding how much that is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All I'm saying is...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a 10-hour flight for an empty chair...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm gonna lose my shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay, it turns out that there may be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a bit of a problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause our Russian producer...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
booked us in a room

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
directly overlooking...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the old KGB-building.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the home of the current

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Federal Security Bureau.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I'm just been told that they know

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we're here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So uhm...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So that happened.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uhm, just if the Russian...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Russian KGB is listening:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we'll ring the fire-alarm

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if he's not coming.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh God.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-So sorry for the delay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's fine.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
HOLY SHIT.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He actually came.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward f*cking Snowden.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The most famous here and/or traitor

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in recent American history!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I've started with a question designed

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to test his loyalties.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How much do you miss America?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-You know, my country is something

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-that travels with me, you know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-It's not just a geogro...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well that's already

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a way too complicated answer.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The right answer is:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I miss it a lot, it's the greatest

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
country in the world.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-I do miss my country.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-I do miss my home, I do miss my family.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do you miss hot pockets?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-I miss hot pockets. Very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay. The entire state of Florida?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let's just let that silence

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
hang in the air.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Truck nuts?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You miss truck nuts?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-I don't know what they are.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Lucky for you, Edward...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not just truck nuts.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Stars and stripes truck nuts.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is 2 balls of liberty

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in a freedom sack.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-You really thought ahead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, at least one of us did.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You know, 'cause of the... uhm...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the quandary... the...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Kafka-esque nightmare that you're in.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay. Let's dive in.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why did you do this?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
-The NSA has the greatest surveillance

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
capabilities that we've ever seen

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in history.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, what they will argue

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is that they don't use this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for nefarious purposes against

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
American citizens.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In some ways that's true.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the real problem is that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they're using these capabilities

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to make us vulnerable to them,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and then saying:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
While I've got a gun pointed at your head,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not going to pull the trigger.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Trust me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, what does the NSA you want look like?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause you applied for a job at the NSA.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So you clearly see an inherent value

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in that shadowy organization.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I worked with mass-surveillance systems

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
against Chinese hackers.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I saw, that you know, these things

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
do have some purpose.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And you want your spies to be good

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
at spying.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
To be fair.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What you don't want...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is you don't want them spying inside

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
their own country.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Spies are great when they're on our side.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But we can never forget that they're

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
incredibly powerful,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and incredibly dangerous,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and when they're off the leash...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they can end up coming after us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But just to be clear, we're talking about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
2 different things here.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Domestic surveillance,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and foreign surveillance.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause domestic surveillance...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Americans give some of a shit about.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Foreign surveillance...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they don't give any remote shit about.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well the second question is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when we talk about foreign surveillance

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
are we applying it in ways that are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
beneficial...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No-one cares.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In terms...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No. They don't give a shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We spied on UNICEF.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The children's fund.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Sure.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We spied on lawyers negotiating...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What was UNICEF doing?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, that's the question there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Isn't it?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The question is:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
are these projects valuable?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Are we going to be safer when we're spying

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on UNICEF and lawyers who are talking about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the price of shrimp and clove cigarettes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't think people say that's good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think they'll say:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I definitely don't care.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Americans do not give a shit.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think you're right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
About foreign surveillance.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What some people do care about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is whether Snowden considered

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the adverse consequences of leaking

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so much information at once.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How many of those documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
have you actually read.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've evaluated all the documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that are in the archive.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You've read every single one?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I do understand what I've turned over.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But there's a difference between

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
understanding what's in the documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and reading what's in the documents.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I recognized the concern.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause when you're handing over

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
thousands of NSA documents,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the last thing you want to do

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is read them.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think it's fair to be concerned about,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'did this person do enough?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were they careful enough?'

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Especially when you're handling material

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like we know you are handling.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, in my defense:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm not handling anything anymore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's been passed to the journalists,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and they're using extraordinary

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
security measures that this is reported

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the most responsible way.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But, those are journalists

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with a lower technical skill-set than you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's true,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but then they do understand

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just like you and I do.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just how important it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to get this right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So the New York Times took a slide,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
didn't redact it properly...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the end it was possible

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for people to see that something

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was being used in Mosul.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
On Al'Qaida.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is a problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, that's a f*ck-up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is a f*ck-up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And these things do happen in reporting.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In journalism we have to accept

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that some mistakes will be made.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is a fundamental concept of liberty.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But you have to own that then.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're giving documents with imformation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you know could be harmful...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which could get out there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If people act in bad faith.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're not even talking about bad faith.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're talking about incompetents.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We are.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But you will never be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
completely free from risk,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if you're free.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The only time you can be free from risk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is when you're in prison.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
While the risks were significant,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Snowden himself has made it clear.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He feels the rewards have been worth it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You've said in you letters to Brasil:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I was motivated by a believe that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the citizens of the world deserve to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
understand the system in which they live.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My greatest fear was that no-one

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
would listen to my warning.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Never have I been so glad

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to have been so wrong."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How did that feel?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was initially terrified that this

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was going to be a 3 day story,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
everybody was going to forget about it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But when I saw that...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
everybody around the world said:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Wow, this is a problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We have to do something about this",

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it felt like vindication.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even in America?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even in America.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I think we're seeing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
something amazing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which is if you ask... the American people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to make tough decisions,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to confront tough issues,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to think about hard problems...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they'll actually surprise you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Here's the problem:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I did ask some Americans.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And, boy did it surprise me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You've never heard of Edward Snowden?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I have no idea who Edward Snowden is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I've heard the name...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I just can't picture and think right now

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
exactly who it is.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, he's... uhm...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He sold some information to people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He revealed some information

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that shouldn't have been revealed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden revealed a lot of documents

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
through Wikileaks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden revealed a bunch

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of secrets, I guess...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or information into Wikileaks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward Snowden leaked... uhm...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
he's in charge of Wikileaks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm in charge of Wikileaks.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not ideal.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I guess, on the plus side...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you might be able to go home.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause it seems like no-one knows

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who the f*ck you are.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or what the f*ck you did.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We can't except everybody to be uniformly

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
informed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, did you do this to solve a problem?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I did this to give the American people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a chance to decide for themselves

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the kind of government they want to have.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is a conversation that I think that

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the American people deserve to decide.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
There is no doubt that it is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a critical conversation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But is it a conversation that we have

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the capacity to have?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because it's so complicated.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We don't fundamentally understand it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It is a challenging conversation.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I mean, it's difficult for most people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to even conceptualize.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The problem is,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the internet is massively complex,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and so much of it is invisible.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Service providers, technicians, engineers,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the phonenumbers....

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Let me stop you right there, Edward.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause this is the whole problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Right.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is the whole problem.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I just, I glaze over.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause it's like the IT-guy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
comes into your office,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and you go: "Ooh shit."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In fairness...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Ooh shit, don't teach me anything."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I don't want to learn."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"You smell like canned soup."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a real challenge to figure out

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how do we communicate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
things that require sort of years and years

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of technical understanding.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And compress that into seconds of speech.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, I'm sympathetic to the problem there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the thing is,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
everything you did only matters

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if we have this conversation properly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So let me help you out there.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You mentioned in an interview

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that the NSA was passing around

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
naked photo's of people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah. This is something where it's...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's not actually seen as a big deal.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
In the culture of NSA.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because you see naked pictures

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
all of the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Terrifies people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Cause when we asked people about THAT...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
this is the response you get.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Government should not be able

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to look at dick-pictures.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If the Government was looking at

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a picture of Gordon's penis,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I definitely feel it would be an invasion

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of my privacy.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Ah, yeah, if the Government was looking at

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
pictures of my penis, that would upset me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They should never, ever,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the US Government have a picture,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of my dick.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If my husband sent me

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a picture of his penis,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the Government could access it,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would want that program to be shut down.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would want the Dick-pic Program changed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would also want

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Dick-pic Program changed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I think it would be terrific,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
if the program could change.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would want it to be tweeked,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would want it to have

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
clear and transparent laws

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that we knew about.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And that were communicated to us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
To understand what they

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were being used for.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Or why the were being kept.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Do you think that program exists?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I don't think that program exists at all.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If I had knowledge that the US Government

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
had a picture of my dick...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I would be very pissed off.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The good news is that there's no

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
program named 'the Dick-pic Program'.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The bad news is that they're still

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
collecting everybody's information.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Including your dick-pics.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What's the over/under of that last guy

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sent a dick-pic recently?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You don't need to guess.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'll show you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I did.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I did take a picture of my... dick.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I sent it to a girl. Recently.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is the most visible line in the sand

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for people.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Can they see my dick?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, with that in mind...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
look inside that folder.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is a picture of my dick.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So let's go through each NSA program,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and explain to me it's capabilities

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in regards to that photograph...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of my penis.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
702 Surveillance: can they see my dick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
The Pfizen act of 2008,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which Section 702 falls under,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
allows the bulk-collection of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
internet communications that are

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
one-end foreign.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bulk-collection:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
now we're talking about my dick.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You get it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I do.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because it's, it's, yeah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So, if you have you're email somewhere...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like G-mail, hosted over seas or

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
transferred somewhere over seas,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or any time crosses outside the borders

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of the United States...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you're junk ends up in the database.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So it doesn't have to be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sending your dick to a German?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Even if you sent it to somebody

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
within the United States,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
your wholly domestic communication

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
between you and your wife

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
can go from New York...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to London and back.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And get caught up in the database.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Executive Order 12-333: Dick or no dick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
EO 12-333 is what the NSA uses

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
when the other authorities aren't

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
aggressive enough,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or they're not catching as much

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as they like.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For example...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How are they gonna see my dick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I'm only concerned about my penis.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When you send your junk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
through G-mail, for example,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's stored on Google-servers.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Google moves data.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
From datacenter to datacenter.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Invisibly to you, without your knowledge.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Your data could be moved outside

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the borders of the United States.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Oh no.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Temporarily.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When your junk was passed by G-mail,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the NSA caught a copy of that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prism.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Prism is how they pull your junk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out of Google, with Google's involvement.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of the different Prism partners,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
people like Yahoo, Facebook, Google,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the Government deputizes them, to be,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sort of their little surveillance sherif.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They're a dick-sherif.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Correct.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Uhm, Upstream.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Upstream is how they snatch your junk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as it transes the internet.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay. Mystic.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're describing your junk

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on the phone?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But do they have the content

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of that junk-call,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or just the duration of it?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They have the content as well,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but only for a few countries.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you are on vacation in the Bahamas?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Finally. And you need to remind yourself?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, I'm just not sure...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
what to do with this.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just hold on to it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It's a lot of responsibility.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah. It is a lot of responsibility.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That's the whole point.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Should I...?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, you should absolutely not.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it's unbelievable

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that you would do that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Actually, it's entirely believable.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
215 meta-data?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Good.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Come on, Ed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They can probably tell who you're sharing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
your junk pictures with.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because they're seeing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who you're texting with,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who you're calling.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you're calling

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the penis enlargement centre at 3 AM

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and that call lasted 90 minutes?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They would have a record

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of YOUR phone-number

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
calling THAT phone-number.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
(Which is a penis enlargement center).

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They would say they don't know

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it's penis enlargement center,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but of course they can look it up.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Edward, if the American people

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
understood this...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
they would be absolutely horrified.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I guess I never thought about putting it

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the context of your junk.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Would a good take-away from this be...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
'Until such time as we sorted

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
all of this out...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
don't take pictures of your dick'.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just don't do it anymore.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If we do that.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wait, hold on, you're saying 'no'?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yeah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You should be

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
taking pictures of your dick?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Yes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You shouldn't change your behavior

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because a Government agency somehwere

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is doing the wrong thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
If you sacrifice our values

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
because we're afraid...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we don't care

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about those values very much.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That is a pretty inspiring answer

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to the question:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Hey, why did you just send me a picutre

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of your dick?"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"Because I love America, that's why."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So there you have it, America.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All of us should now be equipped

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to have this vital debate.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Because by June 1,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it is imperative we have a rational,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
adult conversation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about whether our safety is worth

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
living in a country of barely regulated

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Government sanctioned dick-sherifs.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And with my work here done,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
there was just time to take care of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
one more thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Finally, congratulations

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on winning the Oscar.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I know you couldn't be at the ceremony

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for obvious reasons, so...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Hah?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wow.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I thought we'd celebrate ourselves.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Cheers.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Wow, that's...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that's really something.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Thank you.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're welcome.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What's the over/under on me

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
getting home safely?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Well, if you weren't on the list before,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you are now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Is that like, uhm...

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
is that like a figu... is that like a joke

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or is that actually possible?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
No, it's... it's a real thing.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
You're associated now.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Okay.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just to be clear NSA:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I never met this guy, so

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
take me off you're f*cking list.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I do not want to get stuck in Russia.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want to go home I want to go home

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I want to go home I want to go home

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Now, just for the record.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Just so you know.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We got in touch with the NSA,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the National Security Council,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the White House,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we asked them to comment

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
on the dick-pick capabilities

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
of each of the programs Edward Snowden

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
just discussed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Which incidentally was some very fun

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
emails to write to Government agencies.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They didn't wish to comment on the record.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I can see why,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for every possible reason.