[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.26,0:00:04.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was 26 years old,\Nbarely out of grad school,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.77,0:00:07.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was asked to come teach\Na half-day class about motivation.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.46,0:00:10.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was excited for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.08,0:00:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I found out my audience\Nwould be generals and colonels
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.67,0:00:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the US Air Force.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.81,0:00:17.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was way underqualified.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.38,0:00:21.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I wanted to back out,\Nbut it was too late.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.62,0:00:22.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I walked in,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.98,0:00:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was staring at a room\Nfull of people twice my age,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.37,0:00:30.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wearing full military garb\Nwith all their medals on display.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.81,0:00:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They had nicknames like Gunner,\NStriker and Stealth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.79,0:00:39.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,By the end of the first hour,\NI felt like I was bombing.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.99,0:00:43.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And sure enough, in the reviews\Nthey wrote after class,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.05,0:00:44.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they bombed me.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.36,0:00:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One wrote,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.72,0:00:50.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"There was more quality information\Nin the audience than on the podium."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.98,0:00:53.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another said,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.43,0:00:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I gained very little from the session,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.44,0:00:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I trust the instructor\Ndid gain useful insight."
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.60,0:01:01.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.07,0:01:04.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It felt like a punch in the stomach.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.01,0:01:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I couldn't get it out of my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.65,0:01:12.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I did what any self-respecting\Norganizational psychologist would do:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.26,0:01:16.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started studying why it's often\Nsoul-crushing to receive criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.66,0:01:19.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And whether we could\Nactually learn to like it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.66,0:01:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.07,0:01:27.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm Adam Grant.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.56,0:01:29.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is WorkLife, my TED podcast.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.34,0:01:32.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I study how to make work not suck.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.95,0:01:36.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Organizations like Google,\Nthe NBA and the Gates Foundation
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.47,0:01:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have invited me in to help\Nmake jobs more meaningful,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.98,0:01:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,teams more creative\Nand cultures more collaborative.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.81,0:01:46.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In this show, I'm inviting myself in\Nto some truly unusual places,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.58,0:01:50.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they've mastered something\NI wish everyone else knew about work.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.27,0:01:54.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, the art and science of criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.66,0:01:58.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks to Bonobos\Nfor sponsoring this episode.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.42,0:02:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.12,0:02:04.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Adam Grant: Hey, Kiran.\NKiran Rao: Hello, Adam.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.33,0:02:06.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: How are you?\NKR: Doing well, and you?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.33,0:02:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Good.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.52,0:02:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Kiran Rao.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.75,0:02:11.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He used to be a manager\Nat a financial company.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.12,0:02:14.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like most managers,\Nhe spent a ton of time in meetings.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.86,0:02:17.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And most of them\Nwere pretty run-of-the-mill.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.56,0:02:20.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's one meeting\Nthat Kiran will never forget.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.31,0:02:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's Kiran, breaking down\Na recording of that meeting for us.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.31,0:02:26.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: We were in this large white tent,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.63,0:02:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,200 people sitting around,\Nthe top 200 or 300 managers.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.25,0:02:32.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audio clip: Man: So the next two sections
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.13,0:02:34.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are going to be\Nabout practical application.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.34,0:02:37.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: We'd been talking\Nabout multiple strategic points,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.11,0:02:38.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and up comes a chart --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.34,0:02:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audio clip: Man: This is a list
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.89,0:02:43.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of forced-ranking the people\Nin this room by performance.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.65,0:02:46.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: Which was labeled\N"the worst managers."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.40,0:02:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audio clip: Man: So these are\Npeople we love.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.61,0:02:52.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of the people in this room,\Nthese names, probably shouldn't be here.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.07,0:02:55.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: And I was number one on the list.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.69,0:02:58.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audio clip: Man: I look at this name --\NI hired Kiran.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.20,0:03:01.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Apparently in his first couple years,\Nhe's not doing that well.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.86,0:03:05.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Wow. So you're totally\Ncaught by surprise.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.53,0:03:08.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're staring at a room of 200 people,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.10,0:03:10.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and being told you are the single\Nworst manager in that room.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.100,0:03:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: That's right.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.31,0:03:13.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: What was that like?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.24,0:03:15.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: Um ...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.03,0:03:18.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was intense.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.46,0:03:23.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.13,0:03:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: We'll hear more from Kiran later.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.27,0:03:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But right now, I want you to imagine\Nyou're Kiran, right in that moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.30,0:03:31.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about what happens\Nwhen you get criticized.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.14,0:03:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, physically: your shoulders tighten,\Nyour breath gets shallower.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.89,0:03:39.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Negative feedback sets off alarm bells.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.23,0:03:41.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It actually touches a nerve in your body.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.98,0:03:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And psychologically?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.47,0:03:44.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your mind races.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.38,0:03:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You start to put up shields\Nand mount a counterattack.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.08,0:03:51.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were a peacock, you'd strut.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.73,0:03:54.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you were an ape, you'd beat your chest.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.68,0:03:57.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But humans have another kind of reaction.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.74,0:03:59.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a study a few decades ago
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.48,0:04:02.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that said our ego can get\Nso defensive in these situations
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.78,0:04:06.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that it becomes its own little\Ntotalitarian regime.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.13,0:04:09.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It starts to control the flow\Nof information to our brains
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.23,0:04:11.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the way a dictator controls the media.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.90,0:04:13.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Think about that.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.09,0:04:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your own ego is censoring what you hear.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.30,0:04:19.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if we never hear criticism,\Nwe'll never improve.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.42,0:04:21.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would it be like in a place
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.97,0:04:24.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where people constantly\Ncriticize each other --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.28,0:04:26.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and crave that kind\Nof feedback for themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.97,0:04:29.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in order to make everyone better?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.45,0:04:31.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've worked with hundreds of organizations
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.62,0:04:34.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I found only one\Nwhere that's truly the norm.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.40,0:04:37.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ray Dalio: You could say to me,\N"Hey, jerk, you're being an asshole."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.72,0:04:39.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we'll say, OK,\Nam I being an asshole?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.89,0:04:41.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: This is the guy in charge.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.89,0:04:43.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His name is Ray.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.08,0:04:45.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: One of the biggest\Ntragedies of mankind
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.30,0:04:48.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is people holding in\Ntheir opinions in their heads,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.78,0:04:52.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's such a tragedy\Nbecause it could so easily be fixed
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.13,0:04:53.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if they put them out there
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.81,0:04:55.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and stress-tested them in the right way.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.98,0:04:59.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They would so raise their probability\Nof making a better decision.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.07,0:05:03.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everybody's giving high fives,\Nthey're all smiling at each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.51,0:05:06.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they're not dealing with the things\Nthey need to deal with.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.51,0:05:09.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: It's incredibly fun\Nto think about, like,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.67,0:05:11.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can go around calling people assholes
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.67,0:05:14.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and their default response\Nis supposed to be, "Tell me more."
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.58,0:05:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is that really how you want\Npeople to react to criticism?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.28,0:05:20.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Well, I want to put that\Non the table together and look at that,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.94,0:05:24.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because maybe I'm the one\Nwho's being a jerk or misunderstanding.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.81,0:05:26.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: In the mid 1970s,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.40,0:05:29.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ray Dalio started a financial firm\Ncalled Bridgewater Associates.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.32,0:05:33.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At first, he was working\Nout of a barn with his friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.97,0:05:36.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He got really successful really quickly.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.14,0:05:38.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then he got cocky.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.24,0:05:40.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He placed a bad bet.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.82,0:05:42.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It tanked his firm.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.21,0:05:43.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He had to fire his friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.80,0:05:46.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: And I was so broke
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.37,0:05:49.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had to borrow\N4,000 dollars from my dad
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.59,0:05:51.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to help pay for my family bills.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.73,0:05:54.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that was extremely painful.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.90,0:05:56.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turned out to be terrific.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.58,0:06:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I'm sorry, you just said\Nit was terrific that is was so painful?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.15,0:06:04.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because normal human beings\Ndon't feel that way.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.12,0:06:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: I mean, like,\NI was absolutely miserable.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.43,0:06:10.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it gave me the humility that I needed\Nto deal with my audacity.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.68,0:06:14.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It made me want to find\Nthe smartest people I could find
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.32,0:06:15.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who disagreed with me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.08,0:06:17.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Ray realized that he crashed
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.65,0:06:20.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because there wasn't anyone\Naround to check his ego
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.09,0:06:21.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he was on top of the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.64,0:06:25.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He only listened to himself\Nor people who constantly said yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.12,0:06:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, he was on his own.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.59,0:06:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: So that experience was the one\Nthat really kind of, drove it home for me.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.54,0:06:35.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I say, if you don't look back\Non yourself and think,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.81,0:06:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Wow, how stupid I was a year or two ago,"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.82,0:06:41.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you must not have learned much\Nin the last year or two.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.74,0:06:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Ray decided that the next\Nversion of his company
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.34,0:06:46.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have a different kind of culture
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.26,0:06:49.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where everyone would be\Nbrutally honest with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.10,0:06:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what Bridgewater does today.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.46,0:06:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ray calls it radical transparency.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.20,0:06:57.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every criticism, every opinion,\Nout in the open.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.84,0:07:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're comfortable just putting that\Nout there, transparently?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.93,0:07:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Why shouldn't we be?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.61,0:07:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Embarrassment, pain,\Nyou know, ridicule, cruelty.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.02,0:07:13.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: OK, but it's not those\Nkinds of things, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.14,0:07:15.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We recognize that it can be\Na difficult moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.74,0:07:20.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before people come here,\Nwe ask them, do they want to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.35,0:07:21.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Isn't this good,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.68,0:07:25.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to make them partners in that\Nself-discovery of what is actually true?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.08,0:07:29.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Bridgewater Associates\Nis now considered
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.18,0:07:31.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the most successful\Nhedge fund in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.87,0:07:35.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Ray believes the culture\Nis the driving force behind their success.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.72,0:07:38.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They manage 160 billion dollars in assets,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.77,0:07:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Ray has become one\Nof the richest people on earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.16,0:07:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you can't tell by now,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:43.67,0:07:47.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bridgewater is also one of the strangest\Nworkplaces I've ever seen.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.82,0:07:50.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Feedback is only one piece\Nof what makes them different.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.88,0:07:53.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not here to analyze\Nall their practices,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.27,0:07:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dissect their performance\Nor suggest you copy them.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.73,0:07:59.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I do believe that if we want\Nto get better at something,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.57,0:08:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we should go and learn from the extreme.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.64,0:08:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, the same way you might try\Nand pick up a workout tip
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.60,0:08:05.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from an Olympic athlete.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.97,0:08:08.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bridgewater goes\Nto the extreme on criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.16,0:08:12.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They think you can learn\Nto dish it out and even crave it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.20,0:08:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over the years, they've had some\Nhigh-profile senior leaders.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.50,0:08:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Including James Comey,\Nthe recent FBI director.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.06,0:08:23.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He even talked about Bridgewater\Nat his Senate confirmation hearing.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.49,0:08:25.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,James Comey: I went to Bridgewater
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.14,0:08:27.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in part because of that culture\Nof transparency --
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.43,0:08:30.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's something\Nthat's long been part of me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.29,0:08:32.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Today, about 2,000 people work there
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.44,0:08:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every single one of them is expected\Nto put criticism out in the open.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:36.88,0:08:39.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if the billionaire founder\Nis the target.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.39,0:08:43.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's an email Ray got one day\Nfrom a colleague named Jim Haskel.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.35,0:08:47.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ray, you deserve a 'D-minus'\Nfor your performance today.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.32,0:08:50.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You rambled for 50 minutes.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.77,0:08:54.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was obvious to all of us\Nthat you did not prepare at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.55,0:08:57.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today was really bad,\Nwe can't let this happen again."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.86,0:09:03.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Jim sent his scathing review,\NRay decided to get a few more opinions.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.56,0:09:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He asked his colleagues\Nto rate his performance that day
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.22,0:09:07.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a scale from A to F.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.40,0:09:11.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he shared the feedback\Nwith everyone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.82,0:09:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And let me tell you, Ray did not get\Nany As for that meeting.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.59,0:09:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: I sucked!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.77,0:09:18.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I think a lot of people\Nin that situation
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.99,0:09:21.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would have just sorted\Nthe conversation out with Jim.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:21.52,0:09:23.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you replied and you said,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.24,0:09:25.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hey, everybody else in the meeting,\NI'm looping you in."
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.94,0:09:27.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: No, the whole company.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.29,0:09:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: That went to the whole company?\NRD: Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.52,0:09:31.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: A to F?\NRD: It's very important.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.66,0:09:34.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: This kind of thing is happening\Nconstantly at Bridgewater.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.60,0:09:37.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would you do\Nif someone gave you a D-minus?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.72,0:09:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are actual studies showing\Nthat when coworkers criticize us,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.96,0:09:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we tend to drop them from our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.30,0:09:45.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or at least avoid them at all costs.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.02,0:09:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, we go straight\Nto our cheerleaders
Dialogue: 0,0:09:48.22,0:09:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to complain and get reassurance.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.55,0:09:53.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our friends, our favorite\Nlike-minded colleagues, mom.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.40,0:09:55.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's our support network.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.99,0:09:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.58,0:10:00.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there's another kind\Nof network that we all need:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.21,0:10:01.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a challenge network.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.33,0:10:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A challenge network is the group of people\Nthat you trust to push you to get better.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.93,0:10:10.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They tell you the stuff you don't want\Nto hear but need to hear.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.69,0:10:13.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Bridgewater\Nis one big challenge network.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.70,0:10:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: I want Jim's critiques.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.37,0:10:18.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I might be inclined to ramble,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.83,0:10:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and because I might be inclined\Nto not be prepared.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.17,0:10:25.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: So Ray made a promise to Jim:\Nhe'd do better the next time.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.62,0:10:28.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: He said, "Listen,\NI can't trust you to do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.21,0:10:30.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I say, "Great, I can't trust me\Nto do that, either."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.31,0:10:34.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so as a regular protocol,\Nhe'll call me up,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.28,0:10:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he understands\Nthat it works well for both of us
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.94,0:10:38.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and works well for the company.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.56,0:10:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: A challenge network can only help you\Nif you're ready to listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.66,0:10:46.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: It's particularly important for me\Nto be showing anybody what I'm doing,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.84,0:10:48.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,including my failures, my successes.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.82,0:10:51.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes. Why would you not do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.12,0:10:54.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Well, because\Nyou're afraid of the answer.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.32,0:10:55.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: What are you afraid of?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:55.87,0:10:59.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Of the emperor\Nbeing discovered to have no clothes.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.45,0:11:04.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: If your objective is to be\Nas good as you can possibly be,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.96,0:11:07.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you're going to want that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.14,0:11:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I think a lot of people\Nwould rather maintain
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.30,0:11:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at least the illusion of a decent image\Nthan to actually improve.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.56,0:11:16.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: But then they care\Nmore about their image
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.04,0:11:17.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than they care about results.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.68,0:11:20.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: And you're not willing\Nto tolerate that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.81,0:11:24.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: You know, life's much better\Nwith good results.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.28,0:11:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.42,0:11:29.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: The idea of criticizing\Neach other this openly
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.12,0:11:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might sound terrifying.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.12,0:11:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get that.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.62,0:11:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In lots of workplaces,\Nit would be painful at best
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.67,0:11:37.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and abusive at worst.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.47,0:11:40.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a bunch of work by economists
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.16,0:11:43.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing that rankings\Ngenerally demotivate people.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.47,0:11:45.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People, even at the top, are like,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.40,0:11:47.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I expected to be further at the top."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.28,0:11:49.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And everybody at the bottom\Ndoesn't enjoy the experience
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.92,0:11:52.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of comparing themselves negatively\Nto everyone else around them.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.95,0:11:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: In normal companies,\NI suspect that they don't prepare people,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.13,0:12:02.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,agree on it, say, "Is this a good thing?"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.63,0:12:04.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.59,0:12:06.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: What about your workplace?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.50,0:12:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What would happen\Nif you just decided one day
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.66,0:12:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be radically transparent?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.58,0:12:12.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It might not go so well.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.85,0:12:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AJ: I was working at "Esquire"\Nmagazine at the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.75,0:12:19.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said to my editor\Nin a meeting at one point,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.49,0:12:22.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You know what, I really\Nwould rather be at the 'New Yorker,'
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.54,0:12:25.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if they offered me a job,\NI would take that."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.74,0:12:29.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he was stone-faced,\Nhe did not like it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.43,0:12:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: That's AJ Jacobs,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:30.65,0:12:33.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a writer who thinks it's fun\Nto live his life as an experiment.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.30,0:12:35.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For a story he was working on,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.90,0:12:39.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AJ committed to being 100 percent\Ntransparent for a few weeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.65,0:12:42.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AJ: If you hate your boss,\Ntell your boss, "I hate you."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.74,0:12:46.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: AJ did that\Nwith everyone he talked to.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.08,0:12:51.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,His mother-in-law, elderly neighbors,\Nhis kids, his wife's friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.47,0:12:53.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AJ: I was out with my wife\Nat a restaurant,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.65,0:12:57.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we saw some friends of hers\Nthat she hadn't seen since college.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.46,0:12:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they were all excited\Nto see her and they said,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:59.87,0:13:03.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, we should all get together\Nand have a play date with our kids."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:03.11,0:13:05.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I had to say what was on my mind,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.04,0:13:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was, "You guys\Nseem like nice people,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.45,0:13:09.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I really don't want to see you again."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:10.36,0:13:12.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: (Laughter) Oh, no!\NAJ: Oh, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.69,0:13:16.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They were offended, rightly,\Nand my wife was furious.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.70,0:13:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it was a disaster.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.36,0:13:20.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, we never did see them again
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.27,0:13:23.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so it is efficient, it was effective.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.04,0:13:27.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kim Scott: (Laughter) So in my parlance,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.66,0:13:30.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,saying something like that\Nis not radical candor,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.84,0:13:32.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's obnoxious aggression.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:32.26,0:13:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Kim Scott is an executive\Ncoach in Silicon Valley.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.76,0:13:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She works with CEOs and managers
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.74,0:13:40.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on being radically candid\Nin their feedback.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.45,0:13:43.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KS: Be a kick-ass boss\Nwithout loosing your humanity.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.60,0:13:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I asked Kim how we can all\Nget better at providing criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:47.15,0:13:48.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And guess what.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:48.35,0:13:52.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's about just blurting out whatever\Npops into your head, like AJ did.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.25,0:13:54.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KS: The idea of radical candor
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.30,0:13:57.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you're caring personally\Nabout the other person
Dialogue: 0,0:13:57.94,0:14:00.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the same time that you're\Nchallenging them directly.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.19,0:14:05.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I guess then, how do I get comfortable\Nyou know, challenging directly?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.33,0:14:08.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I do challenge,\Nhow do I make sure that I show care?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.50,0:14:11.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KS: My biggest piece of advice
Dialogue: 0,0:14:11.43,0:14:14.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is eliminate the phrase\N"Don't take it personally"
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.40,0:14:15.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from your vocabulary.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.97,0:14:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's OK if somebody's getting upset\Nor having an emotional reaction,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.74,0:14:20.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's normal.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.02,0:14:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is inevitable.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.85,0:14:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What you want to do is you want to react\Nwith compassion to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.51,0:14:31.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If I had emotional novocaine,\NI would give it to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:32.07,0:14:35.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I have seen so many people say,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:35.31,0:14:38.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alright, I'm really uncomfortable\Nchallenging directly,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:38.47,0:14:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so one of the ways\NI'll show that I care personally is,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:41.35,0:14:43.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to deliver\Na feedback sandwich:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.68,0:14:47.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, open up with some praise,\Nand then criticism comes in the middle,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:47.28,0:14:49.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then a slice of praise again,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:49.37,0:14:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we start and end on a high note.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:51.68,0:14:54.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the research I've read on this\Nis pretty clear in saying
Dialogue: 0,0:14:54.86,0:14:56.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is a bad idea, for two reasons.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:57.00,0:14:59.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, when you lead with praise,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.03,0:15:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're just waiting\Nfor the other shoe to drop,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:01.30,0:15:03.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it seems insincere.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.65,0:15:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And two is that people\Noften tune out what's in the middle.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.01,0:15:10.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, what's your preferred alternative\Nto the feedback sandwich?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:10.97,0:15:13.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KS: I agree, nobody\Nreally likes a shit sandwich.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:13.57,0:15:17.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so it's important\Nfor both praise and criticism,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.55,0:15:19.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but especially for criticism,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.48,0:15:22.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to go in being humble.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.50,0:15:25.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may be wrong in what you're saying,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.59,0:15:26.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.24,0:15:31.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the most important things\Nyou can do when offering criticism
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.55,0:15:33.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to state your intention to be helpful.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.97,0:15:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:15:35.91,0:15:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: There's evidence to back this up.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.97,0:15:40.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's something I heard a lot\Nat Bridgewater, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.31,0:15:43.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's easier to take criticism\Nwhen you know it's meant to help you.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.98,0:15:46.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From the outside, it might sound harsh.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.53,0:15:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they think it's good for them.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.38,0:15:50.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KS: If you know that it's healthy,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.95,0:15:53.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you've experienced\Nfirsthand the benefit,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.80,0:15:55.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're going to keep seeking it,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.36,0:15:58.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just like, it still hurts\Nsometimes to go running,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.12,0:16:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I know how important that is\Nto my well-being, so I'll keep doing it,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.86,0:16:06.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though it's always kind of an effort\Nto get myself out the door.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.66,0:16:09.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it's the same with criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.14,0:16:11.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:11.36,0:16:13.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: More on that after the break.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.78,0:16:15.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is going to be\Na different kind of ad.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.90,0:16:18.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the spirit of exploring\Ncreative ideas at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.45,0:16:21.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're going to take you\Ninside Bonobos, our sponsor.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:21.29,0:16:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.91,0:16:35.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.40,0:16:38.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like everyone else on earth,\NI hate calling customer service.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:39.47,0:16:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's hard to get a human on the line,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:41.29,0:16:44.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if you do, they're usually\Nstuck reading from a script.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:44.44,0:16:47.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you want to get anywhere,\Nyou have to ask for the manager
Dialogue: 0,0:16:47.29,0:16:48.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,over and over and over.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.40,0:16:51.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that's not how things work at Bonobos.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.06,0:16:55.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They make great fitting men's clothes,\Nand if you call them with a problem,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.93,0:16:58.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get a real person\Nempowered to actually help.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.17,0:17:01.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bonobos calls them Ninjas.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:01.20,0:17:06.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kelsey Nash: My actual title is Creative\NCustomer Engagement Lead.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:06.06,0:17:09.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm on the management team of the Ninjas.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:09.46,0:17:10.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: This is Kelsey Nash.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.93,0:17:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He and all the other Ninjas at Bonobos
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.99,0:17:16.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have something pretty rare\Nin the world of customer service.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.20,0:17:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Freedom.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.39,0:17:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KN: Every Ninja is empowered\Nto take care of a customer
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.55,0:17:24.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the moment, in whatever way\Nthat they think is necessary.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.25,0:17:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's no real sending it\Nup the ladder and down the ladder
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.10,0:17:29.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find a resolution,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.35,0:17:31.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like, "We'll call you back\Nwithin 24 to 48 hours."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.74,0:17:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So every day, we ask Ninjas,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.69,0:17:37.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What would you want\Nif you were the customer?
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.08,0:17:38.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How would you feel?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.45,0:17:40.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Which can lead to some\Nsurprising interactions.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.34,0:17:43.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like one Kelsey handled himself.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.45,0:17:47.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KN: There was a guy named Derek,\Nand he wrote in and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.49,0:17:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I had a fire at my house
Dialogue: 0,0:17:49.67,0:17:53.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and one of my favorite\Nflannel shirts was damaged.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.14,0:17:56.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know of some way\Nto recuperate this or repair it,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.44,0:17:59.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I see you don't really have any\Non the website anymore."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.11,0:18:01.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Kelsey at Bonobos\Nwrote back right away.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:01.32,0:18:03.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KN: "We're happy to replace your shirt,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:03.21,0:18:05.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm so sorry about that,\Nis everybody alright?"
Dialogue: 0,0:18:05.44,0:18:07.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He wrote back and said,\N"Actually, everybody's fine,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:07.90,0:18:11.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,except our 15-year-old dog\Nwas trapped in the house
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.71,0:18:15.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we lost our dog\Nand that's been the only thing."
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.64,0:18:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Kelsey heard that\Nand went into Ninja mode.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.79,0:18:23.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KN: I got online and I found\Nhis dog on his Instagram account.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.05,0:18:27.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I got a picture of the dog,\NI commissioned this portrait
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.28,0:18:31.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I got a couple flannel shirts\Nand I sent it to the guy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.82,0:18:34.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Derek (on the phone):\NI'm not an emotional guy,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.08,0:18:36.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but with all that had happened,\Nit was still very fresh.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:36.69,0:18:38.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I definitely cried\Nwhen I saw the painting.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:38.74,0:18:41.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: When I heard this story,\NI had to get Derek on the phone.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.72,0:18:44.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Derek: You know, you're kind of\Nin a desperate situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.99,0:18:50.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just any glimmer of something nice\Nhappening to you at that point
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.08,0:18:51.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,goes a long, long way.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.06,0:18:55.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What they did wasn't necessary,\Nthey didn't have to do it,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:55.90,0:18:59.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,other than they thought\Nit was the right thing to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:59.10,0:19:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KN: What we pride ourselves on,\Nabove everything, is that we're human.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:03.31,0:19:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like, we deal with every contact\Non a one-to-one basis:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.96,0:19:10.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a human answering a phone call,\Ntalking to another human, like,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:10.06,0:19:11.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, let's work this out."
Dialogue: 0,0:19:11.55,0:19:13.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Which is what you need sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.51,0:19:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It clearly meant something to Derek,\Nwho recently started a new job.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:17.18,0:19:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Derek: The only picture I've put up\Non the wall so far is that painting
Dialogue: 0,0:19:20.55,0:19:23.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's right above my desk\Non the wall above the window.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.56,0:19:27.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I walk in the door every morning,\Nthat's the first thing I see.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.54,0:19:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Bonobos makes great clothes,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:30.22,0:19:33.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but my favorite part is that I don't\Nhave to leave my house to get them.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:33.86,0:19:35.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hate going shopping
Dialogue: 0,0:19:35.33,0:19:38.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,almost as much as I normally hate\Ncalling customer service.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.51,0:19:41.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ordering on the Bonobos\Nwebsite is super easy.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.19,0:19:44.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They ship fast, and if it doesn't fit,\Nyou can always call Kelsey.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.04,0:19:46.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, just to talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:46.98,0:19:49.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Try it today at bonobos.com/TED
Dialogue: 0,0:19:49.70,0:19:52.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you'll get 20 percent\Noff your first order.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:52.14,0:19:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's bonobos.com/TED\Nfor 20 percent off.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:55.78,0:19:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:03.96,0:20:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:05.12,0:20:08.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was in college,\NI was a springboard diver.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:08.23,0:20:09.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was learning a new dive:
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.02,0:20:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two and a half flips with a twist.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:13.16,0:20:16.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I tried it out in a meet,\NI thought it went OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:16.72,0:20:18.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then I saw the judges' scores:
Dialogue: 0,0:20:18.73,0:20:23.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,two, two and a half, and zero point five.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.02,0:20:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think I'd ever\Neven seen that score before.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:27.72,0:20:30.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Anyway, when you're flipping\Nand twisting in mid-air,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:30.33,0:20:32.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't always gauge\Nyour own performance.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:33.14,0:20:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think big parts\Nof our work lives are like that, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:36.45,0:20:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We're so immersed in the situation
Dialogue: 0,0:20:38.43,0:20:40.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can't see ourselves objectively.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:41.50,0:20:45.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that diving meet, there were multiple\Njudges who all saw the same flaws.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:45.91,0:20:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I watched the video\Nafterward, I saw them, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:49.01,0:20:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd executed a near-perfect belly flop.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:51.40,0:20:53.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Music)
Dialogue: 0,0:20:53.51,0:20:55.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you've ever played sports,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:55.07,0:20:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know the value\Nof reviewing the game tape
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.46,0:20:59.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with coaches and colleagues\Nwho keep you honest.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:00.11,0:21:02.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why don't we do the same thing at work?
Dialogue: 0,0:21:03.85,0:21:05.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At Bridgewater, they do.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:06.10,0:21:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're so obsessed\Nwith radical transparency
Dialogue: 0,0:21:08.64,0:21:12.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they record video or audio\Nof almost every meeting.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:12.80,0:21:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that sounds a bit\Nlike Big Brother is watching,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:15.24,0:21:16.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, he is.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:17.29,0:21:20.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the difference --\Neveryone is watching.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:20.54,0:21:23.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're constantly going back\Nto the tapes to learn.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:23.47,0:21:26.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is what radical\Ntransparency sounds like.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:26.05,0:21:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's Ray Dalio, the founder,\Ntalking with a colleague.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:29.11,0:21:31.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: No, I'm not saying\Nall your advice is bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:31.60,0:21:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Colleague: Well, it sounds like\Nyou think it's bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:35.07,0:21:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Some of it is bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:36.82,0:21:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All he's saying to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:38.44,0:21:42.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You need to display that you know\Nthat you don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:42.11,0:21:43.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: In too many workplaces,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:43.79,0:21:46.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people keep those comments\Nbehind closed doors.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:46.78,0:21:48.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jen Healy: In general\Nhierarchical structures,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:48.95,0:21:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you don't tell people\Nwhat you actually think.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:51.15,0:21:53.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Jen Healy is a manager at Bridgewater.
Dialogue: 0,0:21:53.22,0:21:56.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,JH: You're always managing\Nother people's perceptions of you
Dialogue: 0,0:21:56.20,0:21:59.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what they think of you,\Nand trying to butter people up above,
Dialogue: 0,0:21:59.77,0:22:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,trying to make sure they don't think\Nanything is going wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:02.70,0:22:04.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you have all the answers.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:04.15,0:22:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Radical transparency is designed\Nto solve for a deadly sin of work life:
Dialogue: 0,0:22:07.79,0:22:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,office politics.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:09.40,0:22:12.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In too many places,\Nwhat happens in the meeting
Dialogue: 0,0:22:12.32,0:22:15.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,doesn't matter nearly as much\Nas secret alliances and conversations
Dialogue: 0,0:22:15.99,0:22:17.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,after the meeting.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:17.18,0:22:19.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,JH: And so, you're able\Nto just say what you think
Dialogue: 0,0:22:19.61,0:22:22.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also be held accountable\Nif what you're thinking is bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:22.47,0:22:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: But for it to work,\Nyou need all of your colleagues
Dialogue: 0,0:22:25.16,0:22:27.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to get past their knee-jerk\Nreactions to criticism.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:27.93,0:22:30.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which isn't easy, especially at first.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:30.36,0:22:33.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Eileen Murray: When I first became\Nacquainted with Bridgewater,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:33.70,0:22:35.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, I wasn't enamored.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:35.15,0:22:36.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: This is Eileen Murray.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:36.61,0:22:39.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,EM: When I first came up\Nto Bridgewater for a meeting,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:39.63,0:22:42.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guess it was a management\Ncommittee meeting
Dialogue: 0,0:22:42.20,0:22:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and someone was being probed,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:43.62,0:22:47.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,basically asking people questions\Nuntil you get to a logical answer
Dialogue: 0,0:22:47.57,0:22:48.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as to what might be going on,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:48.98,0:22:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was like, "I can't wait\Nto get out of here,
Dialogue: 0,0:22:51.30,0:22:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I'm going to put my hair on fire.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:53.29,0:22:54.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These people are crazy."
Dialogue: 0,0:22:54.52,0:22:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: But now, Eileen is one\Nof the company's two CEOs.
Dialogue: 0,0:22:57.50,0:23:01.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Along the way, she came to hear\Nthe criticism as tough love.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:01.13,0:23:03.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kind of like what you'd get\Nfrom your family.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:03.58,0:23:06.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,EM: I have a younger sister\Nwho says things to me
Dialogue: 0,0:23:06.08,0:23:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I sometimes can't believe I tolerate,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:08.15,0:23:11.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I tolerate it because\Nshe's trying to make me better.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:11.90,0:23:15.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so once I understood the intention\Nwas to understand what people are like,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:15.88,0:23:18.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the purpose of them\Nunderstanding what they're like,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:18.78,0:23:22.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that, you know, you basically\Nare aware of what you do well,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:22.62,0:23:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're aware of what you don't do well,\Nso you can do things better in life.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:26.30,0:23:28.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: It's a little bit like Navy SEALs.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:28.22,0:23:30.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take the Navy SEAL,\Nput them in the cold water.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:30.74,0:23:34.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If that's a difficult moment,\Nlet's practice that, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:23:34.75,0:23:38.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Every day at the firm is a new\Nencounter with your challenge network.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:38.99,0:23:41.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You learn to seek out\Nyour trusted critics,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:41.37,0:23:43.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which means you've opted in.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:43.43,0:23:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And little by little, you get\Nmore comfortable hearing hard truths.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:47.58,0:23:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Unless you don't.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:50.07,0:23:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,About a third of Bridgewater's new hires\Nleave in the first year and a half.
Dialogue: 0,0:23:54.90,0:23:59.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was right at that year-and-a-half mark\Nthat Kiran Rao, the guy you heard earlier,
Dialogue: 0,0:23:59.44,0:24:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,found himself being told\Nhe was the company's worst manager
Dialogue: 0,0:24:02.76,0:24:04.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of 200 of his colleagues.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:05.36,0:24:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kiran might have been prepared,\Nbut it still hurt.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:08.67,0:24:13.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: I was probably turning as red\Nas my Indian complexion allows me to.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:13.53,0:24:16.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was describing it\Nas like, basically,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:16.31,0:24:19.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dressing for the beach one day,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:19.08,0:24:22.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in flip-flops and your swimwear,
Dialogue: 0,0:24:22.17,0:24:26.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you swing your door open\Nand you're in a full-force winter storm.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:26.32,0:24:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: The thing you need\Nto understand about Kiran
Dialogue: 0,0:24:28.75,0:24:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that before Bridgewater,\Nhe'd already had a successful career.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:32.24,0:24:33.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Actually, several.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:33.77,0:24:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was a doctor and worked\Nwith the World Health Organization.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:37.13,0:24:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was a principal in a consulting firm.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:39.42,0:24:41.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he worked at a successful\Ninvestment firm.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:42.13,0:24:44.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He'd never failed like this before.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:45.08,0:24:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what happened next was something\NI've never seen anywhere else.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:49.55,0:24:52.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you embarrassed, you know,\Nhide from everyone --
Dialogue: 0,0:24:52.31,0:24:54.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how did you move forward?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:54.51,0:24:56.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: No, I felt great.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:56.77,0:24:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I'm sorry, what?
Dialogue: 0,0:24:58.25,0:24:59.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: I felt great.
Dialogue: 0,0:24:59.46,0:25:01.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Do you realize\Nhow strange that sounds?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:01.50,0:25:02.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: It does.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:02.68,0:25:05.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: You can hear this\Nin the tape of the meeting,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:05.14,0:25:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,right after he found out his ranking.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:06.96,0:25:08.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Audio clip: I'm Kiran Rao,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:08.48,0:25:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by now probably notorious/famous\Nnumber one on the list.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:11.38,0:25:13.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:13.83,0:25:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it's a great list.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:15.24,0:25:17.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I agree that I'm in that spot.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:17.88,0:25:21.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This leaves me more energized versus not.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:21.55,0:25:24.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I get energy from it and I look forward\Nto helping or leaving,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:24.60,0:25:26.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,whichever is the right answer.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:26.55,0:25:28.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: So are you just\Na glutton for punishment?
Dialogue: 0,0:25:28.78,0:25:29.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:25:30.90,0:25:32.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: It's just data.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:32.46,0:25:36.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just data, objective data\Nabout what I'm like.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:36.16,0:25:40.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would rather know how bad the bad is
Dialogue: 0,0:25:40.27,0:25:41.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how good the good is
Dialogue: 0,0:25:41.74,0:25:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I can do something with it.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:43.73,0:25:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: I think a skeptic, particularly one\Nwith my training, might say,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:47.58,0:25:50.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this is just cognitive\Ndissonance reduction.
Dialogue: 0,0:25:50.75,0:25:54.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you're like, "This felt really bad,\Nbut I decided to stay
Dialogue: 0,0:25:55.02,0:25:58.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so it must have taught me something,\NI must have grown from the experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:25:58.78,0:26:01.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,otherwise, like, how the hell\Ndo I justify this?"
Dialogue: 0,0:26:01.26,0:26:04.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you ever wonder whether\Nyou're just kind of rationalizing
Dialogue: 0,0:26:04.22,0:26:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the unpleasant experience?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:06.19,0:26:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: No.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:07.46,0:26:10.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Bridgewater is not\Nabout those dramatic moments, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:10.93,0:26:15.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The real challenge for people
Dialogue: 0,0:26:15.06,0:26:17.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to figure out if they're fit\Nfor the culture or not
Dialogue: 0,0:26:17.70,0:26:19.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not the dramatic moments,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:19.55,0:26:21.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's the daily experience of it.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:22.23,0:26:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:26:23.42,0:26:29.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That drama is incidental to the real work\Nof getting to know yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:30.06,0:26:34.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I do believe I've experienced deep,\Nfundamental change at Bridgewater.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:34.70,0:26:37.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: It is interesting,\Nbecause it almost sound like
Dialogue: 0,0:26:37.23,0:26:40.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're trying to rewire\Nor override an instinct.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:41.15,0:26:44.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: When I have somebody\Ntell me I did something badly,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:44.20,0:26:45.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my ego kicks in, right,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:45.57,0:26:49.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so my composure\Nstarts to become worse and worse.
Dialogue: 0,0:26:50.72,0:26:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That is so wrong,\Nhow can that possibly be true,
Dialogue: 0,0:26:53.33,0:26:57.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've done all these things in my life\Nand how could I be that person?"
Dialogue: 0,0:26:58.14,0:27:00.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: That's what I call proving mode.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:00.20,0:27:02.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's the primal, emotional reaction.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:02.53,0:27:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The lower-level you.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:04.46,0:27:06.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But your brain has another\Nhigher-level setting.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:06.97,0:27:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Its improving mode.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:08.69,0:27:11.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's your inner Olympic diver,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:11.16,0:27:13.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who wants to know\Nexactly how good you are
Dialogue: 0,0:27:13.36,0:27:15.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and every single thing\Nyou can do to get better.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:16.53,0:27:19.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Improving mode means\Nyou're always a work in progress.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:20.37,0:27:21.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At Bridgewater, the thinking is
Dialogue: 0,0:27:21.92,0:27:24.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that if you're exposed\Nto feedback all the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:24.30,0:27:26.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you get better at hearing\Nthat improving voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:27.19,0:27:29.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: There is a much softer voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:29.22,0:27:32.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The logical person inside me who's saying,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:32.91,0:27:34.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah, it's been a rough year.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:35.41,0:27:37.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It hasn't been such an impactful year.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:37.72,0:27:40.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kiran, you aren't really\Naccomplishing your goals.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:40.88,0:27:42.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's not so surprising."
Dialogue: 0,0:27:42.86,0:27:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The difference, though,\Nis that those two voices
Dialogue: 0,0:27:45.31,0:27:47.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are very different\Nin amplitude at that moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:48.62,0:27:50.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The low-level me screaming,
Dialogue: 0,0:27:50.99,0:27:53.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the upper-level me is whispering.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:53.12,0:27:54.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Interesting.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:54.30,0:27:57.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the two yous will always\Nstill be battling at some level.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:57.38,0:27:59.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: I think so.
Dialogue: 0,0:27:59.59,0:28:02.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to me, the beauty is\NI can see that now.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:03.15,0:28:05.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It used to take me a month or two
Dialogue: 0,0:28:05.24,0:28:08.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to recognize that\Nand come back to an even keel.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:08.98,0:28:11.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And with Ray, it takes a microsecond.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:11.59,0:28:14.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Yes, it's almost exactly that quick.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:14.60,0:28:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go, "Damn, I wish I would have ..."\Nwhatever that thing is,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:19.43,0:28:22.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and simultaneously, "Where's the lesson?"
Dialogue: 0,0:28:22.08,0:28:24.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think it's a habit.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:24.62,0:28:26.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: OK, that's weird.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:26.54,0:28:29.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ray is suggesting he doesn't just\Nfeel less pain than the rest of us,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:29.82,0:28:31.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when he gets criticized.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:31.58,0:28:34.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He's trained himself\Nso that the pain signal
Dialogue: 0,0:28:34.16,0:28:36.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is actually followed by a pleasure signal.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:36.91,0:28:39.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Over years of seeing\Nthat negative feedback
Dialogue: 0,0:28:39.29,0:28:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,leads to positive outcomes,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:41.26,0:28:44.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he sort of seems to enjoy hearing it now.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:44.07,0:28:47.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: When you're getting criticism,\Nhow do you feel about it?
Dialogue: 0,0:28:48.48,0:28:50.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: So I think overall ...
Dialogue: 0,0:28:51.79,0:28:53.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think I enjoy it most of the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:28:53.84,0:28:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I crave it.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:55.08,0:28:58.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started teaching\Nand was terrified of public speaking.
Dialogue: 0,0:28:58.78,0:29:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember one of the feedback forms said
Dialogue: 0,0:29:00.77,0:29:01.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was so nervous
Dialogue: 0,0:29:01.95,0:29:05.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was causing the students\Nto physically shake in their seats.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:05.12,0:29:08.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the time, I was like,\N"Ugh, I don't want to be that person."
Dialogue: 0,0:29:08.07,0:29:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I need the feedback\Nin order to not be that person.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:11.51,0:29:14.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it was easier to take\Nbecause I asked for it.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:14.46,0:29:18.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't think I take criticism so well\Nwhen somebody just springs it on me
Dialogue: 0,0:29:18.05,0:29:21.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I don't feel like\NI've opted in to it first.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:21.70,0:29:23.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: That's beautiful, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:29:23.20,0:29:24.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's totally understandable
Dialogue: 0,0:29:24.79,0:29:27.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when it's sprung on you,\Nit takes you by surprise,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:27.94,0:29:30.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, because\Nit's an amygdala response.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:30.24,0:29:34.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the amygdala is the fight or flight\Nand it is a very short-term thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:34.37,0:29:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But in some period of time,\Nthat's going to fade
Dialogue: 0,0:29:37.89,0:29:40.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then if at that moment you reflect,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:40.95,0:29:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pain plus reflection equals progress.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:45.66,0:29:50.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because the pain is signaling you\Nthat something is wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:29:50.57,0:29:54.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the reflection helps\Nto produce that learning.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:54.36,0:29:57.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you do that over a period of time,\Nyou can't help but learn.
Dialogue: 0,0:29:59.20,0:30:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: That's the goal.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:00.87,0:30:02.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But if you're like most people,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:02.40,0:30:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reflection gets hijacked\Nby your inner dictator.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:05.17,0:30:07.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who immediately goes\Ninto denial and attack.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:08.72,0:30:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need a way to take\Na more honest look in the mirror.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:11.95,0:30:13.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the moment, that's hard to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:14.33,0:30:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in psychology, we have a fun way\Nof making you a little more aware
Dialogue: 0,0:30:18.19,0:30:19.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of how you appear to others.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:20.90,0:30:25.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Imagine that you're sitting at a computer\Nto take a timed, multiple-choice test.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:25.32,0:30:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The instructions say to answer\Nquestion after question
Dialogue: 0,0:30:28.32,0:30:29.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until a timer goes off.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:30.51,0:30:32.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what we haven't told you
Dialogue: 0,0:30:32.16,0:30:34.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that we're recording your keyboard.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:34.36,0:30:37.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you submit an answer\Nafter the timer, we know you're cheating.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:39.20,0:30:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It turns out, you're significantly\Nless likely to cheat
Dialogue: 0,0:30:42.66,0:30:44.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if there's a mirror in the room.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:45.20,0:30:48.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It reminds you to reflect\Non how your behavior will look to others.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:50.14,0:30:53.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At Bridgewater, Ray is constantly\Ntrying to look in the mirror,
Dialogue: 0,0:30:53.61,0:30:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so he can see himself\Nthe way others see him.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:57.13,0:30:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Psychologists often talk\Nabout a second score.
Dialogue: 0,0:30:59.58,0:31:01.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The idea being that you can't control
Dialogue: 0,0:31:02.02,0:31:04.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your unprepared, long-winded\Nmeeting performance,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:04.35,0:31:06.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the D-minus is done,\Nthat already happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:06.39,0:31:08.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only thing you can do then is say,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:08.25,0:31:10.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Alright, I can't control\Nthat first score,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:10.29,0:31:13.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can control the second, which is\Nhow well did I take the first score."
Dialogue: 0,0:31:13.70,0:31:15.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if I got a D-minus\Nfor my performance,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:15.75,0:31:18.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can get an A-plus for how\NI took the feedback of my performance.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:18.91,0:31:21.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you give yourself those kinds\Nof explicit evaluations?
Dialogue: 0,0:31:21.68,0:31:23.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Everybody gives those.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:23.16,0:31:25.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: If people know they're being evaluated
Dialogue: 0,0:31:25.25,0:31:27.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on how well they learn\Nand how well they take feedback,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:27.88,0:31:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then there's no stable image\Nto protect anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:30.21,0:31:32.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Well put, it's a good point.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:32.28,0:31:33.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: A second score.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:33.82,0:31:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every time I get feedback,
Dialogue: 0,0:31:35.53,0:31:38.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I rate myself now\Non how well I took the feedback.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:39.36,0:31:41.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's a habit we can all develop.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:41.13,0:31:44.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When someone gives you feedback,\Nthey've already evaluated you.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:44.59,0:31:47.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it helps to remind yourself\Nthat the main thing they're judging now
Dialogue: 0,0:31:48.00,0:31:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is whether you're open or defensive.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:50.26,0:31:52.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You don't always realize\Nwhen you're being defensive.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:52.79,0:31:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So call on your challenge network.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:54.92,0:31:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ask them to give you a second score, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:31:57.10,0:31:59.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"How did I come across\Nwhen you gave me feedback?"
Dialogue: 0,0:32:00.25,0:32:03.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then really listen to what they say.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:04.03,0:32:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And respond by saying thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:08.46,0:32:10.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The best way to prove yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:32:10.25,0:32:13.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to show that you're willing\Nto improve yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:13.62,0:32:14.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just ask Kiran.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:15.12,0:32:18.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: It's funny, I called my wife\Non my way home and said this happened,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:18.63,0:32:23.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they put up the list of the worst managers\Nat Bridgewater and I was number one.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:23.43,0:32:26.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I had an amazing, energizing day ...
Dialogue: 0,0:32:27.77,0:32:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it felt great.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:28.94,0:32:31.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she said, "That's wonderful,\NKiran, I'm proud of you."
Dialogue: 0,0:32:31.70,0:32:33.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: She said she was proud of you?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:33.45,0:32:35.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For being the worst\Nmanager at Bridgewater?
Dialogue: 0,0:32:35.49,0:32:37.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,KR: No, for looking in the mirror,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:37.39,0:32:39.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for not cringing from what I look like,
Dialogue: 0,0:32:39.34,0:32:42.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for being able to see reality\Nfor what it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:42.93,0:32:44.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I probably reached home by then.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:44.68,0:32:46.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a short commute.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:53.42,0:32:55.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: WorkLife is hosted by me, Adam Grant.
Dialogue: 0,0:32:56.29,0:32:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The show is produced by TED\Nwith Transmitter Media
Dialogue: 0,0:32:58.93,0:33:00.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Pineapple Street Media.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:00.78,0:33:04.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our team includes Colin Helms,\NGretta Cohn, Gabrielle Lewis,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:04.40,0:33:06.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Angela Cheng and Janet Lee.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:06.46,0:33:10.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This episode was produced by Dan O'Donell\Nwith help from Julia Alsop.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:10.77,0:33:14.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Our show is mixed by David Herman\Nwith help from Dan Dzula.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:14.09,0:33:16.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Original music by Hahnsdale Hsu.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:17.04,0:33:18.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Special thanks to our sponsors:
Dialogue: 0,0:33:18.82,0:33:22.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bonobos, Accenture,\NJP Morgan Chase and Warby Parker.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:23.46,0:33:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Next time on WorkLife,
Dialogue: 0,0:33:24.68,0:33:27.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're going inside the writer's room\Nat The Daily Show
Dialogue: 0,0:33:27.25,0:33:30.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find out how they do\Ncreative work under the gun.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:30.40,0:33:33.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man 1: The first draft is not\Nmeant to be the last draft.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:34.02,0:33:36.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man 2: Yeah, that's why\Nthey call it the first draft.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:36.54,0:33:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Man 1: That was the big part\Nof the naming process.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:39.57,0:33:41.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: That's next time on WorkLife.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:41.43,0:33:43.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the meantime thanks for listening.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:43.26,0:33:46.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if you like what you hear,\Nrate an review the show.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:46.59,0:33:48.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It helps other people find us.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:48.74,0:33:49.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See you next week.
Dialogue: 0,0:33:55.40,0:33:58.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ray, this has been fun and interesting
Dialogue: 0,0:33:58.40,0:34:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thought-provoking as always.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:00.19,0:34:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: So, now what criticisms do I get?
Dialogue: 0,0:34:02.68,0:34:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Oh, I have to criticize you?
Dialogue: 0,0:34:04.56,0:34:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:06.50,0:34:08.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,AG: Do we have time for this?
Dialogue: 0,0:34:09.08,0:34:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You stay at the level\Nof abstract concepts and ideas
Dialogue: 0,0:34:12.71,0:34:17.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as opposed to moving down into\Nsort of, the experiences that you've had,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:17.37,0:34:19.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stories that you can tell,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:19.53,0:34:23.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the emotions that are part of that\Nthat really bring your ideas to life.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:23.29,0:34:26.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you brought more\Nof the concrete, the emotional in
Dialogue: 0,0:34:26.78,0:34:28.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,along with the abstract conceptual,
Dialogue: 0,0:34:28.63,0:34:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think your communication\Nwould be more effective.
Dialogue: 0,0:34:33.13,0:34:34.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,RD: Well, thank you.