0:00:00.306,0:00:12.126 [Circus music] 0:00:12.126,0:00:21.696 [Applause] 0:00:21.696,0:00:23.586 We are organizing a baseball team 0:00:23.586,0:00:25.284 here at the Retired Actors' Home. 0:00:25.284,0:00:27.685 I am the manager. Now... 0:00:27.685,0:00:29.382 You're going to be the manager 0:00:29.382,0:00:31.161 of the Retired Actors'[br]baseball team? 0:00:31.161,0:00:31.927 Yes. 0:00:31.927,0:00:33.739 I would like to join[br]the Retired Actors' baseball team. 0:00:33.739,0:00:34.493 Oh, you would? 0:00:34.493,0:00:35.594 I would like to know[br]some of the guys' names 0:00:35.594,0:00:37.550 on the team, so if I want to[br]play with them, I know them. 0:00:37.550,0:00:39.495 If I meet them on the street,[br]I can say "Hello" to them. 0:00:39.495,0:00:40.428 Oh. Sure. 0:00:40.428,0:00:42.480 But you know, they give baseball[br]players nowadays, 0:00:42.480,0:00:43.688 very peculiar names. 0:00:43.688,0:00:44.907 Oh? A lot of funny names. 0:00:44.907,0:00:46.511 You know, like "Stinky Fields." 0:00:46.511,0:00:48.211 "Goofy Dan." 0:00:48.211,0:00:49.561 "Boobie Barber." 0:00:49.561,0:00:52.272 [Laughs] 0:00:52.272,0:00:55.060 On our team, we have: 0:00:55.060,0:00:56.496 "Who" is on first, 0:00:56.496,0:00:57.691 "What" is on second, 0:00:57.691,0:00:59.061 "I don't know" is on third. 0:00:59.061,0:01:00.893 That's what I want to find out.[br]The guys' names. 0:01:00.893,0:01:01.440 Huh? 0:01:01.440,0:01:02.743 That's what I want to find out.[br]The guys' names. 0:01:02.743,0:01:03.461 I'm telling you. 0:01:03.461,0:01:04.943 "Who" is on first, "What" is on second,[br]"I don't know" is on third. 0:01:04.943,0:01:06.513 Abbott, you gonna be the manager[br]of the baseball team? 0:01:06.513,0:01:07.240 Yes. 0:01:07.240,0:01:08.094 You know the guys' names? 0:01:08.094,0:01:08.761 Why, sure. 0:01:08.761,0:01:09.417 Well, you tell me the guys' names[br]on the baseball team. 0:01:09.417,0:01:10.743 I say: "Who" is on first, 0:01:10.743,0:01:11.728 "What" is on second, 0:01:11.728,0:01:12.598 "I don't know" is on third. 0:01:12.598,0:01:13.754 You ain't said nothing to me yet. 0:01:13.754,0:01:14.844 Go ahead and tell me. 0:01:14.844,0:01:16.112 I'm telling him. Look. 0:01:16.112,0:01:16.891 Tell me. 0:01:16.891,0:01:17.799 "Who" Is on first, 0:01:17.799,0:01:18.795 "What" is on second. 0:01:18.795,0:01:20.194 "I don't know" is on third. 0:01:20.194,0:01:21.547 You know the guys' names[br]on the baseball team? 0:01:21.547,0:01:22.294 Yes. 0:01:22.294,0:01:23.260 Go ahead. Who's on first? 0:01:23.260,0:01:23.764 Yes. 0:01:23.764,0:01:24.379 I mean, the guy's name. 0:01:24.379,0:01:24.842 "Who." 0:01:24.842,0:01:25.328 The guy playing first. 0:01:25.328,0:01:25.761 "Who." 0:01:25.761,0:01:26.327 The guy playing first base. 0:01:26.327,0:01:27.045 "Who!" 0:01:27.045,0:01:28.248 The guy on first base. 0:01:28.248,0:01:29.362 "Who" is on first. 0:01:29.362,0:01:31.361 What are you asking me for?![br]I don't know! 0:01:31.361,0:01:32.182 Wait, I'm not... 0:01:32.182,0:01:33.544 I'm asking YOU who is on first. 0:01:33.544,0:01:34.377 That is his name. 0:01:34.377,0:01:35.017 Go ahead and tell me. 0:01:35.017,0:01:35.597 "Who." 0:01:35.597,0:01:36.462 The guy on first. 0:01:36.462,0:01:37.311 That's it. 0:01:37.311,0:01:38.131 That's his name! 0:01:38.131,0:01:40.521 You ain't said nothing.[br]I ain't asked you nothing. 0:01:40.521,0:01:41.311 Yes you did. 0:01:41.311,0:01:42.293 You know the guy's name[br]on first base? 0:01:42.293,0:01:43.071 Sure. 0:01:43.071,0:01:44.303 Tell me the guy's name[br]on first base. 0:01:44.303,0:01:45.077 "Who." 0:01:45.077,0:01:47.266 The guy playing first base. 0:01:47.266,0:01:48.786 "Who" is on first, Lou. 0:01:48.786,0:01:50.295 What are ya asking me for?! 0:01:50.295,0:01:52.061 Now, don't get excited.[br]I'm saying "Who..." 0:01:52.061,0:01:53.711 I'm asking you a simple question:[br]Who is on first? 0:01:53.711,0:01:54.449 Yes. 0:01:54.449,0:01:55.194 Well go ahead and tell me. 0:01:55.194,0:01:55.909 That's it. 0:01:55.909,0:01:56.836 That's who? 0:01:56.836,0:01:57.694 Yes. 0:01:57.694,0:01:59.477 I'm asking you. What is the guy's name[br]on first base? 0:01:59.477,0:02:00.811 No, "What" is on second. 0:02:00.811,0:02:02.279 I'm not asking you who is on second. 0:02:02.279,0:02:03.128 "Who" is on first. 0:02:03.128,0:02:04.913 One base at a time, now! 0:02:04.913,0:02:06.227 Don't mix up my players. 0:02:06.227,0:02:07.230 I'm not mixing up anybody. 0:02:07.230,0:02:08.528 Now, what's the guy's name[br]on first base? 0:02:08.528,0:02:09.662 No, "What" is on second. 0:02:09.662,0:02:11.078 I'm not asking you who[br]is on second! 0:02:11.078,0:02:12.079 "Who" is on first. 0:02:12.079,0:02:12.865 I don't know. 0:02:12.865,0:02:13.664 He is on third. 0:02:13.664,0:02:14.464 [Laughter] 0:02:14.464,0:02:16.328 Wait a minute. Whoa. 0:02:16.328,0:02:17.794 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 0:02:17.794,0:02:19.445 How did I get on third base? 0:02:19.445,0:02:20.591 You mentioned his name. 0:02:20.591,0:02:21.607 I mentioned his name? 0:02:21.607,0:02:22.384 Yes. 0:02:22.384,0:02:23.566 I don't know anybody's name[br]on the team. 0:02:23.566,0:02:25.110 How could I mention[br]the guy's name? 0:02:25.110,0:02:26.480 You did. You just mentioned it. 0:02:26.480,0:02:27.744 All right. What is the guy's name[br]on third base? 0:02:27.744,0:02:29.128 No. "What" is on second. 0:02:29.128,0:02:30.029 Who is on second? 0:02:30.029,0:02:31.061 "Who" is on first. 0:02:31.061,0:02:31.844 I don't know. 0:02:31.844,0:02:32.745 He's on third. 0:02:32.745,0:02:35.241 I didn't even mention [br]the guy's name on third base! 0:02:35.241,0:02:36.205 Yes you did, Lou. 0:02:36.205,0:02:37.796 All right. Then, who is playing[br]third base? 0:02:37.796,0:02:38.780 No, "Who" is on first. 0:02:38.780,0:02:39.996 I'm not asking you[br]what is on first. 0:02:39.996,0:02:41.045 "What" is on second. 0:02:41.045,0:02:41.644 Who is on second? 0:02:41.644,0:02:42.394 "Who" is on first. 0:02:42.394,0:02:43.223 I don't know. 0:02:43.223,0:02:44.730 [Both] Third base. 0:02:44.730,0:02:46.752 I don't know anybody[br]on the baseball team. 0:02:46.752,0:02:47.525 You do. 0:02:47.525,0:02:49.004 You mentioned their names. 0:02:49.004,0:02:49.761 I do? 0:02:49.761,0:02:50.529 Sure. 0:02:50.529,0:02:51.494 You got an outfield? 0:02:51.494,0:02:52.245 Naturally. 0:02:52.245,0:02:53.508 The left fielder's name? 0:02:53.508,0:02:54.612 "Why." 0:02:54.612,0:02:57.237 [Laughter] 0:02:57.237,0:02:58.769 I just thought I'd ask. 0:02:58.769,0:03:00.345 I thought I'd tell you. 0:03:00.345,0:03:01.646 Go ahead. Tell me. 0:03:01.646,0:03:02.777 Tell you what? 0:03:02.777,0:03:04.246 The left fielder's name. 0:03:04.246,0:03:05.279 "Why." 0:03:05.279,0:03:06.829 Because I want to know! 0:03:06.829,0:03:07.686 Because! 0:03:07.686,0:03:09.239 Oh, he's center field. 0:03:09.239,0:03:10.521 You know these players. 0:03:10.521,0:03:11.678 Who is in center field? 0:03:11.678,0:03:12.753 No, "Who" is on first. 0:03:12.753,0:03:13.604 What's on first? 0:03:13.604,0:03:14.562 "What" is on second. 0:03:14.562,0:03:15.409 I don't know. 0:03:15.409,0:03:17.103 [Both] Third base. 0:03:17.103,0:03:19.412 Do you know the guys' names[br]on the team? 0:03:19.412,0:03:21.112 You don't seem to understand. 0:03:21.112,0:03:23.230 See, I have a first baseman... 0:03:23.230,0:03:26.545 I know. I asked what's[br]the first baseman's name? 0:03:26.545,0:03:28.976 No. "What" is the [br]second baseman's name. 0:03:28.976,0:03:31.212 I asked you: What is the [br]first baseman's name? 0:03:31.212,0:03:32.972 "What" is the second [br]baseman's name. 0:03:32.972,0:03:34.222 I don't even get... 0:03:34.222,0:03:35.863 All right. Who is on second? 0:03:35.863,0:03:36.798 "Who" is on first. 0:03:36.798,0:03:38.561 What base do you want[br]to talk about?! 0:03:38.561,0:03:40.104 You talk about any one[br]you want. 0:03:40.104,0:03:41.681 All right. Now. Who is on first. 0:03:41.681,0:03:42.408 Right. 0:03:42.408,0:03:43.465 Okay. [Splutters] 0:03:43.465,0:03:44.515 Now...stop that. 0:03:44.515,0:03:46.206 All right. You got a first baseman. 0:03:46.206,0:03:46.909 Yes. 0:03:46.909,0:03:48.277 When you pay the first baseman[br]every month, 0:03:48.277,0:03:49.265 who gets the money? 0:03:49.265,0:03:50.751 Every dollar of it. 0:03:50.751,0:03:51.678 Who gets it? 0:03:51.678,0:03:52.668 Every dollar of it. 0:03:52.668,0:03:53.378 Who gets it? 0:03:53.378,0:03:54.481 He does. 0:03:54.481,0:03:57.493 Sometimes, his wife comes down,[br]and collects it. 0:03:57.493,0:03:58.462 Whose wife? 0:03:58.462,0:03:59.332 Yes. 0:03:59.722,0:04:00.812 [Laughter] 0:04:01.112,0:04:03.240 Why not, Lou? He's earned it. 0:04:03.240,0:04:04.282 Who did? 0:04:04.282,0:04:05.053 Yes. 0:04:05.053,0:04:06.133 [Laughter] 0:04:06.133,0:04:08.753 When you pay the first baseman[br]every month, 0:04:08.753,0:04:10.276 you get a receipt from the guy? 0:04:10.276,0:04:11.007 Sure. 0:04:11.007,0:04:11.795 How does he sign his name? 0:04:11.795,0:04:12.397 "Who." 0:04:12.397,0:04:13.069 The guy you give the money to. 0:04:13.069,0:04:13.807 "Who." 0:04:13.807,0:04:15.174 The guy you give the money to. 0:04:15.174,0:04:16.396 Well, that's how he signs it, Lou. 0:04:16.396,0:04:17.180 That's how who signs it? 0:04:17.180,0:04:17.714 Yes. 0:04:17.714,0:04:18.495 Go on and tell me. 0:04:18.495,0:04:19.507 That's it. 0:04:19.507,0:04:20.474 Who? 0:04:20.474,0:04:21.221 Right. 0:04:21.221,0:04:22.901 Look: You go to the first baseman. 0:04:22.901,0:04:23.687 Yes. 0:04:23.687,0:04:25.864 You tell him: "Here is your money.[br]Sign the receipt." 0:04:25.864,0:04:27.238 How does he sign his name? 0:04:27.238,0:04:27.960 "Who." 0:04:27.960,0:04:29.587 The guy you give the money to. 0:04:29.587,0:04:30.695 That's how he signs it. 0:04:30.695,0:04:31.860 That's how who signs it? 0:04:31.860,0:04:32.680 Yes. 0:04:32.680,0:04:33.545 Sure. 0:04:33.545,0:04:34.476 He... [Splutters] 0:04:34.476,0:04:36.196 You gotta get a receipt, don't you? 0:04:36.196,0:04:37.076 I get one, Lou. 0:04:37.076,0:04:39.250 How does the guy on first base[br]sign his name? 0:04:39.250,0:04:40.134 "WHO." 0:04:40.134,0:04:41.099 The guy on first. 0:04:41.099,0:04:42.262 That's how he signs it. 0:04:42.262,0:04:44.347 I'm asking you: What's the [br]guy's name you give the money to? 0:04:44.347,0:04:46.264 No, wait. "What" signs his own. 0:04:46.264,0:04:47.257 Who signs his own? 0:04:47.257,0:04:48.563 No, "Who" signs his. 0:04:48.563,0:04:49.733 [Laughter] 0:04:49.733,0:04:51.981 What's the guy's name on first... 0:04:51.981,0:04:53.724 "What" is on second base. 0:04:53.724,0:04:55.518 I'm not asking you who is on second. 0:04:55.518,0:04:56.580 "Who" is on first. 0:04:56.580,0:04:57.507 I don't know. 0:04:57.507,0:04:59.170 [Both] Third base. 0:04:59.170,0:05:00.538 [Laughter] 0:05:00.538,0:05:02.733 The left fielder's name, [br]the center fielder... 0:05:02.733,0:05:04.221 You got a pitcher on the team? 0:05:04.221,0:05:05.746 It would be a fine team[br]without a pitcher. 0:05:05.746,0:05:06.646 It's a fine team anyway. 0:05:06.646,0:05:07.530 The pitcher's name? 0:05:07.530,0:05:08.525 "Tomorrow." 0:05:08.525,0:05:09.251 Eh. 0:05:09.251,0:05:11.164 I can't change their names! 0:05:11.164,0:05:13.003 You don't want to tell me the name? 0:05:13.003,0:05:13.878 I'm telling you. 0:05:13.878,0:05:15.695 Go ahead. Tell me the pitcher's name. 0:05:15.695,0:05:16.487 "Tomorrow." 0:05:16.487,0:05:19.327 Why not tell me today?![br]I don't want to wait til tomorrow! 0:05:19.327,0:05:20.286 I'm telling you now. 0:05:20.286,0:05:22.015 Tell me the pitcher's name. 0:05:22.015,0:05:22.827 "Tomorrow!" 0:05:22.827,0:05:25.092 All right. What time tomorrow[br]will you tell me the pitcher's name? 0:05:25.092,0:05:26.115 What time, what? 0:05:26.115,0:05:27.981 What time tomorrow will you[br]tell me who is pitching? 0:05:27.981,0:05:29.288 "Who" is not pitching. 0:05:29.288,0:05:30.769 I'll break your arm! 0:05:30.769,0:05:32.788 I want to know what [br]is the pitcher's name. 0:05:32.788,0:05:33.892 "What" is on second. 0:05:33.892,0:05:34.848 I don't know. 0:05:34.848,0:05:36.838 Third base! Third base![br]Third base. 0:05:36.838,0:05:38.423 You got a catcher? 0:05:38.423,0:05:40.731 Certainly, you have a catcher[br]on a baseball team. 0:05:40.731,0:05:41.517 Catcher's name? 0:05:41.517,0:05:42.498 "Today." 0:05:42.498,0:05:44.842 Today. Tomorrow is pitching.[br]Today is catching. 0:05:44.842,0:05:45.966 Now you've got it! 0:05:45.966,0:05:46.913 Now I got it? 0:05:46.913,0:05:48.433 All I got: We got a couple of [br]days on the team. 0:05:48.433,0:05:50.148 I can't help that, Lou.[br]I don't name them. 0:05:50.148,0:05:51.631 I'm a pretty good catcher, myself. 0:05:51.631,0:05:52.482 So they tell me. 0:05:52.482,0:05:54.399 When I get behind the plate,[br]I'm going to do some catching. 0:05:54.399,0:05:55.575 Tomorrow is pitching[br]on my team, right? 0:05:55.575,0:05:56.278 Yeah. 0:05:56.278,0:05:57.731 Now Tomorrow, he winds up[br]the ball. 0:05:57.731,0:05:58.931 I'm behind the plate, [br]and a heavy hitter gets up. 0:05:58.931,0:06:00.648 Now the heavy hitter [br]is ready to hit the ball. 0:06:00.648,0:06:01.867 Tomorrow is going to[br]throw the ball, 0:06:01.867,0:06:02.716 and I'm the catcher. 0:06:02.716,0:06:04.216 Tomorrow throws, [br]the guy bunts the ball. 0:06:04.216,0:06:05.881 Now, when he bunts the ball, 0:06:05.881,0:06:07.399 me, being a good catcher,[br]I'm going to throw the guy out 0:06:07.399,0:06:08.447 on first base. 0:06:08.447,0:06:09.514 So, I pick up the ball,[br]and throw it to who? 0:06:09.514,0:06:11.166 Now, that's the first thing[br]you've said right. 0:06:11.166,0:06:13.170 I don't even know[br]what I'm talking about! 0:06:13.170,0:06:14.769 Well, that's all you have to do! 0:06:14.769,0:06:16.798 Is throw the ball to first base... 0:06:16.798,0:06:17.599 Who has got it? 0:06:17.599,0:06:18.497 Naturally! 0:06:18.497,0:06:19.710 Sure. [Splutters] 0:06:19.710,0:06:21.333 The guy is running to first base, 0:06:21.333,0:06:22.951 and I want to throw the guy out. 0:06:22.951,0:06:23.686 So? 0:06:23.686,0:06:25.248 So I throw the ball to who? 0:06:25.248,0:06:26.196 Naturally. 0:06:26.196,0:06:27.249 Throw it to who? 0:06:27.249,0:06:28.226 Naturally. 0:06:28.226,0:06:29.473 And who has got it? 0:06:29.473,0:06:30.498 Naturally. 0:06:30.498,0:06:31.257 Huh. 0:06:31.257,0:06:33.793 So I pick up the ball, and I throw it to[br]"Naturally." 0:06:33.793,0:06:34.774 No, no! Wait. 0:06:34.774,0:06:37.499 You throw the ball to first base.[br]Then "Who" gets it. 0:06:37.499,0:06:38.489 Naturally. 0:06:38.489,0:06:39.532 That's right. 0:06:39.532,0:06:41.873 I pick up the ball.[br]So I throw it to "Naturally." 0:06:41.873,0:06:42.645 No! 0:06:42.645,0:06:43.774 I throw it to who? 0:06:43.774,0:06:44.733 Naturally. 0:06:44.733,0:06:46.283 That's what I'm saying!! 0:06:46.283,0:06:47.623 You're not saying that. 0:06:47.623,0:06:48.831 I said throw the ball to who? 0:06:48.831,0:06:49.514 Naturally. 0:06:49.514,0:06:50.265 You ask me. 0:06:50.265,0:06:51.065 Throw the ball to who? 0:06:51.065,0:06:51.715 "Naturally." 0:06:51.715,0:06:52.501 That's it. 0:06:52.501,0:06:53.098 Same as you! 0:06:53.098,0:06:53.733 Pay attention. 0:06:53.733,0:06:54.648 I throw the ball. To "Naturally." 0:06:54.648,0:06:55.616 You don't. You throw it[br]to "Who." 0:06:55.616,0:06:56.349 Now who has got it? 0:06:56.349,0:06:57.226 [Both] Naturally. 0:06:57.226,0:06:57.875 That's what I said! 0:06:57.875,0:06:58.848 All right. 0:06:58.848,0:07:00.254 Whoever it is, better get it! 0:07:00.254,0:07:01.330 He'll get it. 0:07:01.330,0:07:02.914 Don't worry about "Who."[br]"Who" will get it. 0:07:02.914,0:07:04.213 He better get it. 0:07:04.213,0:07:05.365 Now, I throw the ball to who. 0:07:05.365,0:07:07.064 Whoever it is, drops the ball.[br]The guy runs to second. 0:07:07.064,0:07:08.664 Who picks up the ball, and [br]throws to what. 0:07:08.664,0:07:09.749 What throws the ball to I don't know. 0:07:09.749,0:07:10.965 I don't know throws back to tomorrow. 0:07:10.965,0:07:11.948 Triple play. 0:07:11.948,0:07:12.599 Could be. 0:07:12.599,0:07:13.762 Another guy gets up, 0:07:13.762,0:07:15.757 and it's a long, fly ball to because. 0:07:15.757,0:07:16.775 Why? 0:07:16.775,0:07:20.535 I don't know. He's on third. [br]And I don't give a darn! 0:07:20.535,0:07:21.478 What? 0:07:21.478,0:07:23.266 I said "I don't give a darn!" 0:07:23.266,0:07:25.231 Ohhhh! That's our shortstop. 0:07:25.241,0:07:26.485 [Splutters] 0:07:26.485,0:07:29.066 [Laughter. Applause] 0:07:29.066,0:07:37.249 [Circus music]