0:00:00.306,0:00:12.126
[Circus music]

0:00:12.126,0:00:21.927
[Applause]

0:00:21.927,0:00:23.861
We are organizing a baseball team

0:00:23.861,0:00:25.793
here at the Retired Actors' Home.

0:00:25.793,0:00:27.945
I am the manager. Now...

0:00:27.945,0:00:29.712
You're going to be the manager

0:00:29.712,0:00:31.161
of the Retired Actors'[br]baseball team?

0:00:31.161,0:00:32.127
Yes.

0:00:32.127,0:00:33.629
I would like to join[br]the Retired Actors' baseball team.

0:00:33.629,0:00:34.493
Oh, you would?

0:00:34.493,0:00:35.594
I would like to know[br]some of the guys' names

0:00:35.594,0:00:37.360
on the team, so if I want to[br]play with them, I know them.

0:00:37.360,0:00:39.275
If I meet them on the street,[br]I can say "Hello" to them.

0:00:39.275,0:00:40.428
Oh. Sure.

0:00:40.428,0:00:42.510
But you know, they give baseball[br]players nowadays,

0:00:42.510,0:00:43.828
very peculiar names.

0:00:43.828,0:00:44.977
Oh? A lot of funny names.

0:00:44.977,0:00:46.511
You know, like "Stinky Fields."

0:00:46.511,0:00:48.211
"Goofy Dan."

0:00:48.211,0:00:49.561
"Boobie Barber."

0:00:49.561,0:00:50.792
[Laughs]

0:00:50.792,0:00:55.379
On our team, we have:

0:00:55.379,0:00:56.646
"Who" is on first,

0:00:56.646,0:00:57.861
"What" is on second,

0:00:57.861,0:00:59.261
"I don't know" is on third.

0:00:59.261,0:01:00.993
That's what I want to find out.[br]The guys' names.

0:01:00.993,0:01:01.660
Huh?

0:01:01.660,0:01:02.743
That's what I want to find out.[br]The guys' names.

0:01:02.743,0:01:03.461
I'm telling you.

0:01:03.461,0:01:04.943
"Who" is on first, "What" is on second,[br]"I don't know" is on third.

0:01:04.943,0:01:06.563
Abbott, you gonna be the manager[br]of the baseball team?

0:01:06.563,0:01:07.160
Yes.

0:01:07.160,0:01:08.094
You know the guys' names?

0:01:08.094,0:01:08.761
Why, sure.

0:01:08.761,0:01:09.727
Well, you tell me the guys' names[br]on the baseball team.

0:01:09.727,0:01:10.743
I say: "Who" is on first,

0:01:10.743,0:01:11.728
"What" is on second,

0:01:11.728,0:01:12.578
"I don't know" is on third.

0:01:12.578,0:01:13.344
You ain't said nothing to me yet.

0:01:13.344,0:01:14.844
Go ahead and tell me.

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I'm telling him. Look.

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Tell me.

0:01:17.061,0:01:17.929
"Who" Is on first,

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"What" is on second.

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"I don't know" is on third.

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You know the guys' names[br]on the baseball team?

0:01:21.727,0:01:22.294
Yes.

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Go ahead. Who's on first?

0:01:23.260,0:01:23.764
Yes.

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I mean, the guy's name.

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"Who."

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The guy playing first.

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"Who."

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The guy playing first base.

0:01:26.327,0:01:27.045
"Who!"

0:01:27.045,0:01:28.378
The guy on first base.

0:01:28.378,0:01:29.362
"Who" is on first.

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What are you asking me for?![br]I don't know!

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Wait, I'm not...

0:01:32.329,0:01:33.544
I'm asking YOU who is on first.

0:01:33.544,0:01:34.377
That is his name.

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Go ahead and tell me.

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"Who."

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The guy on first.

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That's it.

0:01:37.311,0:01:38.911
That's his name!

0:01:38.911,0:01:40.361
You ain't said nothing.[br]I ain't asked you nothing.

0:01:40.361,0:01:41.311
Yes you did.

0:01:41.311,0:01:42.411
You know the guy's name[br]on first base?

0:01:42.411,0:01:43.061
Sure.

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Tell me the guy's name[br]on first base.

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"Who."

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The guy playing first base.

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"Who" is on first, Lou.

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What are ya asking me for?!

0:01:50.295,0:01:52.061
Now, don't get excited.[br]I'm saying "Who..."

0:01:52.061,0:01:53.711
I'm asking you a simple question:[br]Who is on first?

0:01:53.711,0:01:54.429
Yes.

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Well go ahead and tell me.

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That's it.

0:01:55.779,0:01:56.596
That's who?

0:01:56.596,0:01:57.694
Yes.

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I'm asking you. What is the guy's name[br]on first base?

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No, "What" is on second.

0:02:00.811,0:02:02.279
I'm not asking you who is on second.

0:02:02.279,0:02:03.128
"Who" is on first.

0:02:03.128,0:02:04.913
One base at a time, now!

0:02:04.913,0:02:06.227
Don't mix up my players.

0:02:06.227,0:02:07.230
I'm not mixing up anybody.

0:02:07.230,0:02:08.528
Now, what's the guy's name[br]on first base?

0:02:08.528,0:02:09.662
No, "What" is on second.

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I'm not asking you who[br]is on second!

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"Who" is on first.

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I don't know.

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He is on third.

0:02:13.544,0:02:16.328
Wait a minute. Whoa.

0:02:16.328,0:02:17.994
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

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How did I get on third base?

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You mentioned his name.

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I mentioned his name?

0:02:21.527,0:02:22.194
Yes.

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I don't know anybody's name[br]on the team.

0:02:23.296,0:02:25.110
How could I mention[br]the guy's name?

0:02:25.110,0:02:26.480
You did. You just mentioned it.

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All right. What is the guy's name[br]on third base?

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No. "What" is on second.

0:02:29.128,0:02:30.029
Who is on second?

0:02:30.029,0:02:31.061
"Who" is in first.

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I don't know.

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He's on third.

0:02:32.745,0:02:35.461
I didn't even mention [br]the guy's name on third base!

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Yes you did, Lou.

0:02:36.445,0:02:37.796
All right. Then, who is playing[br]third base?

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No, "Who" is on first.

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I'm not asking you[br]what is on first.

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"What" is on second.

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Who is on second?

0:02:41.644,0:02:42.394
"Who" is on first.

0:02:42.394,0:02:42.943
I don't know.

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[Both] Third base.

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I don't know anybody[br]on the baseball team.

0:02:46.812,0:02:47.595
You do.

0:02:47.595,0:02:49.004
You mentioned their names.

0:02:49.004,0:02:49.761
I do?

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Sure.

0:02:50.609,0:02:51.494
You got an outfield?

0:02:51.494,0:02:52.245
Naturally.

0:02:52.245,0:02:52.978
The left fielder's name?

0:02:52.978,0:02:54.612
"Why."

0:02:54.612,0:02:57.427
[Laughter]

0:02:57.427,0:02:58.829
I just thought I'd ask.

0:02:58.829,0:03:00.345
I thought I'd tell you.

0:03:00.345,0:03:01.646
Go ahead. Tell me.

0:03:01.646,0:03:02.777
Tell you what?

0:03:02.777,0:03:04.246
The left fielder's name.

0:03:04.246,0:03:05.279
"Why."

0:03:05.279,0:03:06.829
Because I want to know!

0:03:06.829,0:03:07.996
Because!

0:03:07.996,0:03:09.379
Oh, he's center field.

0:03:09.379,0:03:10.661
You know these players.

0:03:10.661,0:03:11.978
Who is in center field?

0:03:11.978,0:03:12.863
No, "Who" is on first.

0:03:12.863,0:03:13.444
What's on first?

0:03:13.444,0:03:14.012
"What" is on second.

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I don't know.

0:03:14.529,0:03:18.013
[Both] Third base.

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Do you know the guys' names[br]on the team?

0:03:19.412,0:03:21.112
You don't seem to understand.

0:03:21.112,0:03:23.230
See, I have a first baseman...

0:03:23.230,0:03:27.645
I know. I asked what's[br]the first baseman's name?

0:03:27.645,0:03:29.146
No. "What" is the [br]second baseman's name.

0:03:29.146,0:03:31.912
I asked you: What is the [br]first baseman's name?

0:03:31.912,0:03:33.162
"What" is the second [br]baseman's name.

0:03:33.162,0:03:34.162
I don't even get past[br]the first...

0:03:34.162,0:03:35.863
All right. Who is on second?

0:03:35.863,0:03:36.978
"Who" is on first.

0:03:36.978,0:03:38.581
What base do you want[br]to talk about?!

0:03:38.581,0:03:40.414
You talk about any one[br]you want.

0:03:40.414,0:03:41.781
All right. Now. Who is on first.

0:03:41.781,0:03:42.428
Right.

0:03:42.428,0:03:43.465
Okay. [Splutters]

0:03:43.465,0:03:45.365
Now...stop that.

0:03:45.365,0:03:46.546
All right. You got a first baseman.

0:03:46.546,0:03:47.129
Yes.

0:03:47.129,0:03:48.247
When you pay the first baseman[br]every month,

0:03:48.247,0:03:48.995
who gets the money?

0:03:48.995,0:03:50.511
Every dollar of it.

0:03:50.511,0:03:53.378
Who gets it?

0:03:53.378,0:03:54.481
He does.

0:03:54.481,0:03:57.713
Sometimes, his wife comes down,[br]and collects it.

0:03:57.713,0:03:58.462
Whose wife?

0:03:58.462,0:04:01.112
Yes.

0:04:01.112,0:04:03.730
Why not, Lou? He's earned it.

0:04:03.730,0:04:04.362
Who did?

0:04:04.362,0:04:06.213
Yes.

0:04:06.213,0:04:09.113
When you pay the first baseman[br]every month,

0:04:09.113,0:04:10.646
you get a receipt from the guy?

0:04:10.646,0:04:11.347
Sure.

0:04:11.347,0:04:11.795
How does he sign his name?

0:04:11.795,0:04:12.397
"Who."

0:04:12.397,0:04:12.879
The guy you give the money to.

0:04:12.879,0:04:13.447
"Who."

0:04:13.447,0:04:15.214
The guy you give the money to.

0:04:15.214,0:04:16.396
Well, that's how he signs it, Lou.

0:04:16.396,0:04:17.180
That's how who signs it?

0:04:17.180,0:04:17.714
Yes.

0:04:17.714,0:04:18.495
Go on and tell me.

0:04:18.495,0:04:19.047
That's it.

0:04:19.047,0:04:19.964
Who?

0:04:19.964,0:04:21.463
Right.

0:04:21.463,0:04:23.131
Look: You go to the first baseman.

0:04:23.131,0:04:23.847
Yes.

0:04:23.847,0:04:25.864
You tell him: "Here is your money.[br]Sign the receipt."

0:04:25.864,0:04:27.298
How does he sign his name?

0:04:27.298,0:04:27.930
"Who."

0:04:27.930,0:04:28.997
The guy you give the money to.

0:04:28.997,0:04:29.945
That's how he signs it.

0:04:29.945,0:04:30.630
That's how who signs it?

0:04:30.630,0:04:31.280
Yes.

0:04:31.280,0:04:33.845
Sure.

0:04:33.845,0:04:34.813
He... [Splutters]

0:04:34.813,0:04:36.196
You gotta get a receipt, don't you?

0:04:36.196,0:04:37.296
I get one, Lou.

0:04:37.296,0:04:38.830
How does the guy on first base[br]sign his name?

0:04:38.830,0:04:39.814
"WHO."

0:04:39.814,0:04:40.529
The guy on first.

0:04:40.529,0:04:41.312
That's how he signs it.

0:04:41.312,0:04:44.347
I'm asking you: What's the [br]guy's name you give the money to?

0:04:44.347,0:04:46.264
No, wait. "What" signs his own.

0:04:46.264,0:04:47.047
Who signs his own?

0:04:47.047,0:04:48.563
No, "Who" signs his.

0:04:48.563,0:04:51.981
What's the guy's name on first...

0:04:51.981,0:04:54.114
"What" is on second base.

0:04:54.114,0:04:55.548
I'm not asking you who is on second.

0:04:55.548,0:04:56.580
"Who" is on first.

0:04:56.580,0:04:57.147
I don't know.

0:04:57.147,0:05:00.830
[Both] Third base.

0:05:00.830,0:05:02.548
[Laughter]

0:05:02.548,0:05:03.563
The left fielder's name, [br]the center fielder...

0:05:03.563,0:05:04.831
You got a pitcher on the team?

0:05:04.831,0:05:05.746
It would be a fine team[br]without a pitcher.

0:05:05.746,0:05:06.646
It's a fine team anyway.

0:05:06.646,0:05:07.530
The pitcher's name?

0:05:07.530,0:05:09.015
"Tomorrow."

0:05:09.015,0:05:09.881
Eh.

0:05:09.881,0:05:11.164
I can't change their names!

0:05:11.164,0:05:14.463
You don't want to tell me the name?

0:05:14.463,0:05:15.198
I'm telling you.

0:05:15.198,0:05:15.465
Go ahead. Tell me the pitcher's name.

0:05:15.465,0:05:17.547
"Tomorrow."

0:05:17.547,0:05:20.098
Why not tell me today?![br]I don't want to wait til tomorrow!

0:05:20.098,0:05:21.146
I'm telling you now.

0:05:21.146,0:05:22.015
Tell me the pitcher's name.

0:05:22.015,0:05:23.297
"Tomorrow!"

0:05:23.297,0:05:24.882
All right. What time tomorrow[br]will you tell me the pitcher's name?

0:05:24.882,0:05:26.115
What time, what?

0:05:26.115,0:05:27.981
What time tomorrow will you[br]tell me who is pitching?

0:05:27.981,0:05:29.098
"Who" is not pitching.

0:05:29.098,0:05:31.679
I'll break your arm!

0:05:31.679,0:05:33.498
I want to know what [br]is the pitcher's name.

0:05:33.498,0:05:34.382
"What" is on second.

0:05:34.382,0:05:34.848
I don't know.

0:05:34.848,0:05:38.113
Third base! Third base![br]Third base.

0:05:38.113,0:05:39.199
You got a catcher?

0:05:39.199,0:05:41.731
Certainly, you have a catcher[br]on a baseball team.

0:05:41.731,0:05:42.647
Catcher's name?

0:05:42.647,0:05:43.198
"Today."

0:05:43.198,0:05:45.132
Today. Tomorrow is pitching.[br]Today is catching.

0:05:45.132,0:05:45.966
Now you've got it!

0:05:45.966,0:05:46.913
Now I got it?

0:05:46.913,0:05:48.433
All I got: We got a couple of [br]days on the team.

0:05:48.433,0:05:50.148
I can't help that, Lou.[br]I don't name them.

0:05:50.148,0:05:51.631
I'm a pretty good catcher, myself.

0:05:51.631,0:05:52.482
So they tell me.

0:05:52.482,0:05:54.399
When I get behind the plate,[br]I'm going to do some catching.

0:05:54.399,0:05:55.965
Tomorrow is pitching[br]on my team, right?

0:05:55.965,0:05:56.698
Yeah.

0:05:56.698,0:05:57.731
Now Tomorrow, he winds up[br]the ball.

0:05:57.731,0:05:58.931
I'm behind the plate, [br]and a heavy hitter gets up.

0:05:58.931,0:06:00.648
Now the heavy hitter [br]is ready to hit the ball.

0:06:00.648,0:06:01.867
Tomorrow is going to[br]throw the ball,

0:06:01.867,0:06:02.716
and I'm the catcher.

0:06:02.716,0:06:04.216
Tomorrow throws, [br]the guy bunts the ball.

0:06:04.216,0:06:05.881
Now, when he bunts the ball,

0:06:05.881,0:06:07.399
me, being a good catcher,[br]I'm going to throw the guy out

0:06:07.399,0:06:08.447
on first base.

0:06:08.447,0:06:09.514
So, I pick up the ball,[br]and throw it to who?

0:06:09.514,0:06:11.166
Now, that's the first thing[br]you've said right.

0:06:11.166,0:06:13.400
I don't even know[br]what I'm talking about!

0:06:13.400,0:06:15.449
Well, that's all you have to do!

0:06:15.449,0:06:16.798
If I throw the ball to first base...

0:06:16.798,0:06:17.599
who has got it?

0:06:17.599,0:06:18.697
Naturally!

0:06:18.697,0:06:20.300
Sure. [Splutters]

0:06:20.300,0:06:22.183
The guy is running to first base,

0:06:22.183,0:06:23.681
and I want to throw the guy out.

0:06:23.681,0:06:24.266
So?

0:06:24.266,0:06:25.248
So I throw the ball to who?

0:06:25.248,0:06:26.196
Naturally.

0:06:26.196,0:06:27.649
Throw it to who?

0:06:27.649,0:06:29.016
Naturally.

0:06:29.016,0:06:29.733
And who has got it?

0:06:29.733,0:06:30.648
Naturally.

0:06:30.648,0:06:31.397
Huh.

0:06:31.397,0:06:32.983
So I pick up the ball, and I throw it to[br]"Naturally."

0:06:32.983,0:06:35.614
No, no! Wait.

0:06:35.614,0:06:37.749
You throw the ball to first base.[br]Then "Who" gets it.

0:06:37.749,0:06:38.599
Naturally.

0:06:38.599,0:06:39.532
That's right.

0:06:39.532,0:06:42.183
I pick up the ball.[br]So I throw it to "Naturally."

0:06:42.183,0:06:43.265
No!

0:06:43.265,0:06:44.183
I throw it to who?

0:06:44.183,0:06:44.882
Naturally.

0:06:44.882,0:06:46.283
That's what I'm saying!!

0:06:46.283,0:06:47.816
You're not saying that.

0:06:47.816,0:06:48.831
I said throw the ball to who?

0:06:48.831,0:06:49.514
Naturally.

0:06:49.514,0:06:50.265
You ask me.

0:06:50.265,0:06:51.065
Throw the ball to who?

0:06:51.065,0:06:51.715
"Naturally."

0:06:51.715,0:06:52.501
That's it.

0:06:52.501,0:06:53.098
Same as you!

0:06:53.098,0:06:53.733
Pay attention.

0:06:53.733,0:06:54.648
I throw the ball. To "Naturally."

0:06:54.648,0:06:55.616
You don't. You throw the ball[br]to "Who."

0:06:55.616,0:06:56.349
Now who has got it?

0:06:56.349,0:06:57.366
[Both] Naturally.

0:06:57.366,0:06:58.415
That's what I said!

0:06:58.415,0:06:59.199
All right.

0:06:59.199,0:07:00.314
Whoever it is, better get it!

0:07:00.314,0:07:01.330
He'll get it.

0:07:01.330,0:07:02.914
Don't worry about "Who."[br]"Who" will get it.

0:07:02.914,0:07:04.213
He better get it.

0:07:04.213,0:07:05.365
Now, I throw the ball to who.

0:07:05.365,0:07:07.064
Whoever it is, drops the ball.[br]The guy runs to second.

0:07:07.064,0:07:08.664
Who picks up the ball, and [br]throws to what.

0:07:08.664,0:07:09.749
What throws the ball to I don't know.

0:07:09.749,0:07:10.965
I don't know throws back to tomorrow.

0:07:10.965,0:07:11.948
Triple play.

0:07:11.948,0:07:12.599
Could be.

0:07:12.599,0:07:13.482
Another guy gets up,

0:07:13.482,0:07:15.497
and it's a long, fly ball to because.

0:07:15.497,0:07:16.715
Why?

0:07:16.715,0:07:20.715
I don't know. He's on third. [br]And I don't give a darn!

0:07:20.715,0:07:21.548
What?

0:07:21.548,0:07:23.266
I said "I don't give a darn!"

0:07:23.266,0:07:25.331
Ohhhh! That's our shortstop.

0:07:25.331,0:07:27.015
[Splutters]

0:07:27.015,0:07:29.066
[Laughter. Applause]

0:07:29.066,0:07:37.249
[Circus music]