0:00:00.039,0:00:02.114
As you probably already know by now,

0:00:02.114,0:00:04.969
people can have all kinds [br]of subconscious patterns

0:00:04.969,0:00:06.793
that they are completely unaware of.

0:00:06.793,0:00:08.245
In fact, the subconscious mind

0:00:08.245,0:00:10.518
can completely contradict [br]the conscious mind.

0:00:10.518,0:00:13.240
For example, we may say something like:

0:00:13.240,0:00:15.590
"You know I totally love helping people."

0:00:15.590,0:00:16.965
But actually down deep

0:00:16.965,0:00:19.640
the truth is we don't really [br]like helping people at all.

0:00:19.640,0:00:22.059
in fact, we just do it for [br]a sense of appreciation

0:00:22.059,0:00:24.859
and guaranteed alliance and [br]if we don't get those things

0:00:24.859,0:00:27.010
we regret helping in the first place.

0:00:27.010,0:00:28.304
Another example is,

0:00:28.304,0:00:30.709
we may have suppressed [br]our anger a long time ago

0:00:30.709,0:00:34.159
and as a result, even though [br]we may be very angry,

0:00:34.159,0:00:36.120
we don't even feel the anger.

0:00:36.120,0:00:40.190
In fact, we relate to ourselves [br]only as a really peaceful person.

0:00:40.190,0:00:42.680
I know you've met people like that before.

0:00:42.680,0:00:44.795
Now, one of these subconscious patterns

0:00:44.795,0:00:47.422
that plays out in our lives,[br]plays out in relationships.

0:00:47.422,0:00:50.710
And if this pattern isn't [br]seen directly and resolved,

0:00:50.710,0:00:52.750
it can ruin a relationship.

0:00:56.655,0:01:01.075
Are You a Friend or a Foe [br]Under the Guise of a Friend?

0:01:01.320,0:01:05.059
The pattern that makes you [br]a foe on a subconscious level

0:01:05.059,0:01:06.524
is needing to be the one

0:01:06.524,0:01:09.639
to reflect someone's shadows to someone.

0:01:09.830,0:01:11.434
Or needing to be the one

0:01:11.434,0:01:14.479
who calls them out or can call them out.

0:01:14.600,0:01:17.439
Obviously being in this [br]position in somebody's life

0:01:17.439,0:01:19.539
is a rather empowering position.

0:01:19.539,0:01:22.240
It's a position that gives [br]you a lot of pride.

0:01:22.240,0:01:24.794
It's tempting to think that [br]this is a loving position

0:01:24.794,0:01:26.649
to hold in somebody else's life.

0:01:26.649,0:01:27.834
When in fact,

0:01:27.834,0:01:29.410
there can be and often are

0:01:29.410,0:01:33.120
deep, deep shadows involved in why

0:01:33.120,0:01:35.425
you want to occupy that [br]space in someone's life.

0:01:35.425,0:01:37.670
And what you're getting out of it.

0:01:37.809,0:01:40.029
People in the awareness community

0:01:40.029,0:01:42.589
see "shadow" as two different things.

0:01:42.589,0:01:45.689
Basically, they're using the same [br]word for two different things.

0:01:45.689,0:01:46.764
The first is:

0:01:46.764,0:01:48.881
What someone is unconscious of.

0:01:48.881,0:01:50.420
The second is:

0:01:50.420,0:01:53.399
Something about a person [br]that is out of alignment

0:01:53.399,0:01:56.169
or bad or wrong.

0:01:56.169,0:01:57.853
If I had my way,

0:01:57.853,0:01:59.885
we would no longer be [br]using the same term

0:01:59.885,0:02:02.048
for both of these states.

0:02:02.240,0:02:03.710
Because,

0:02:03.710,0:02:06.739
the shadow is what you're[br]unconscious of right?

0:02:06.739,0:02:08.444
Once you become conscious of it,

0:02:08.444,0:02:10.059
we can no longer call it a shadow.

0:02:10.059,0:02:11.754
So what are we really talking about

0:02:11.754,0:02:14.682
when we're referring to something [br]about a person that's out of alignment

0:02:14.682,0:02:17.090
bad or wrong according to our judgment?

0:02:17.090,0:02:19.980
Obviously anytime we have a [br]judgment we need to question it.

0:02:19.980,0:02:20.920
That being said,

0:02:20.920,0:02:24.169
sometimes you can accurately feel [br]the "offness" of certain patterns

0:02:24.169,0:02:25.709
within yourself or others.

0:02:25.709,0:02:28.329
Meaning that something a person [br]is thinking saying or doing

0:02:28.329,0:02:30.744
is not in alignment with [br]their desires, well-being

0:02:30.744,0:02:32.669
and perhaps the well-being of others.

0:02:32.669,0:02:34.880
This pattern of being out of alignment

0:02:34.880,0:02:35.974
in some way,

0:02:35.974,0:02:37.761
is what many people call the shadow.

0:02:37.761,0:02:40.095
But what I would prefer [br]is if we called this:

0:02:40.095,0:02:41.970
"Someone's Misalignment"

0:02:41.970,0:02:44.190
What we have to consider [br]is that the reason

0:02:44.190,0:02:47.439
that we perceive something to [br]be "off" about somebody else

0:02:47.439,0:02:51.109
may actually be because of [br]something that is "off" about us.

0:02:51.109,0:02:53.609
So often when we see something

0:02:53.609,0:02:56.039
that is bad wrong or out of alignment

0:02:56.039,0:02:57.460
with somebody else,

0:02:57.460,0:02:59.224
what's actually happening there

0:02:59.224,0:03:03.189
is that they are out of alignment [br]with what we want for them.

0:03:03.189,0:03:04.424
But here's the thing,

0:03:04.424,0:03:06.429
our desires for what we want for somebody

0:03:06.429,0:03:09.599
are so often because of what [br]we want for ourselves.

0:03:09.599,0:03:12.454
So it really has nothing to [br]do with that other person.

0:03:13.160,0:03:15.235
A better way of putting this is that

0:03:15.235,0:03:17.700
we run the risk of thinking [br]that somebody else is

0:03:17.700,0:03:19.080
misaligned

0:03:19.080,0:03:22.460
in conditions when actually [br]what their misaligned with,

0:03:22.460,0:03:24.860
is not their own desires [br]and their own needs

0:03:24.860,0:03:26.110
and their own well-being,

0:03:26.110,0:03:28.320
but actually our overlay.

0:03:28.430,0:03:30.885
To understand this in depth, [br]watch my video titled:

0:03:30.885,0:03:34.040
OVERLAY (What Prevents You [br]From Having a Real Relationship)

0:03:34.050,0:03:36.075
When it comes to this particular pattern

0:03:36.075,0:03:37.930
that I'm going to talk about today,

0:03:37.930,0:03:40.509
it is you that is actually in [br]a state of misalignment

0:03:40.509,0:03:42.149
looking at somebody else

0:03:42.149,0:03:44.689
in terms of their misalignment.

0:03:44.690,0:03:47.185
It is obvious that if [br]people are close to us

0:03:47.185,0:03:49.970
they may perceive things about [br]us that we're not aware of.

0:03:49.970,0:03:52.680
They may see where we are misaligned.

0:03:52.680,0:03:54.854
When a person in our life really loves us

0:03:54.854,0:03:58.089
the energy behind them making us [br]aware of these things is an assist.

0:03:58.089,0:04:01.220
It feels pure because there's no [br]subconscious strategy on their end.

0:04:01.220,0:04:03.970
But if there is a subconscious [br]strategy behind this reflection,

0:04:03.970,0:04:06.155
no matter how much the person [br]thinks they're telling us

0:04:06.155,0:04:07.980
what they're telling [br]us for our own good,

0:04:07.980,0:04:10.625
it will feel like they're taking [br]something away from us

0:04:10.625,0:04:13.580
instead of adding to our [br]well-being by assisting us.

0:04:13.580,0:04:16.409
Taking pride in or being identified with

0:04:16.409,0:04:19.839
being the one in someone's life that [br]can reflect their shadow to them,

0:04:19.839,0:04:22.319
being the one who calls [br]them on their shit,

0:04:22.319,0:04:25.440
feels bad, because it's [br]actually a power play.

0:04:25.570,0:04:27.959
Inherent in it is the energy of:

0:04:27.959,0:04:29.754
"I challenge and oppose you"

0:04:29.754,0:04:32.089
instead of: "I assist you".

0:04:32.089,0:04:35.539
If you have this particular [br]"shadow" about yourself,

0:04:35.539,0:04:37.574
this identification with [br]being this person

0:04:37.574,0:04:39.439
in somebody else's life, the truth,

0:04:39.439,0:04:42.449
down deep at the core, [br]is that you don't trust anyone.

0:04:42.610,0:04:45.225
You've slipped into the [br]illusion of self and other.

0:04:45.225,0:04:46.892
You're not practicing love because

0:04:46.892,0:04:49.360
you do not actually see the other [br]person as a part of yourself.

0:04:49.360,0:04:51.425
Therefore what you can't [br]see about yourself

0:04:51.425,0:04:54.880
is that you call people on [br]their shadows out of fear.

0:04:54.880,0:04:56.710
It's all about your [br]sense of well-being,

0:04:56.710,0:04:58.690
rather than it is about the [br]well-being of the person

0:04:58.690,0:05:00.610
you're trying to reflect something to.

0:05:00.610,0:05:02.295
Another harsh reality [br]you have to accept

0:05:02.295,0:05:04.407
is that if this is the role [br]you're identified with,

0:05:04.407,0:05:07.600
being in other people's lives or [br]specifically in one person's life,

0:05:07.600,0:05:09.350
the person you're doing that with,

0:05:09.350,0:05:12.895
you don't actually see is a good person.

0:05:12.895,0:05:15.380
You don't actually trust them.

0:05:15.380,0:05:17.274
Basically, you see them as the bad guy.

0:05:17.274,0:05:19.680
Whether you are willing [br]to admit to it or not.

0:05:19.680,0:05:22.154
You distrust their capacity [br]to see themselves,

0:05:22.154,0:05:23.870
you distrust their internal compass

0:05:23.870,0:05:26.320
and you distrust them with yourself [br]and distress them with others.

0:05:26.320,0:05:28.080
And so on a subconscious level,

0:05:28.080,0:05:30.320
you try to use their [br]vulnerability against them

0:05:30.320,0:05:31.880
for the sake of your own safety.

0:05:31.880,0:05:33.740
In that moment where [br]you're able to see

0:05:33.740,0:05:36.870
and show them something about [br]themselves that they don't see,

0:05:36.870,0:05:38.224
in that second,

0:05:38.224,0:05:40.541
you actually feel safer than ever,

0:05:40.541,0:05:43.260
because you feel the safety inherent

0:05:43.260,0:05:45.530
in that win

0:05:45.530,0:05:47.810
of superiority.

0:05:47.810,0:05:50.530
You have won up them.

0:05:50.530,0:05:53.050
When this pattern becomes even unhealthier

0:05:53.050,0:05:54.680
is when people use this pattern

0:05:54.680,0:05:56.970
to create endearment with someone.

0:05:56.970,0:05:58.605
The way that they do this

0:05:58.605,0:06:00.882
is by convincing the other person

0:06:00.882,0:06:02.661
that they are the only ones

0:06:02.661,0:06:04.680
that can truly see them.

0:06:04.680,0:06:07.094
"I'm the only one that can [br]really see your shadow

0:06:07.094,0:06:09.669
and you've got to keep me [br]around because I'm the one

0:06:09.669,0:06:11.310
that calls you on your bullshit."

0:06:11.720,0:06:13.230
Sounds loving right?

0:06:13.230,0:06:14.560
It's not.

0:06:14.560,0:06:17.225
It means you see yourself [br]as indispensable to them.

0:06:17.225,0:06:20.470
And then try to convince them [br]that you're indispensable

0:06:20.470,0:06:22.679
and that they must defer [br]to your judgment.

0:06:22.679,0:06:25.834
Specifically because no-one else [br]is as good at seeing their shadow

0:06:25.834,0:06:28.096
and therefore no one [br]else can really see them

0:06:28.096,0:06:30.099
as clearly as you can.

0:06:30.350,0:06:32.330
This isolates them.

0:06:32.330,0:06:35.485
Their health and well-being now [br]depends on keeping you around

0:06:35.485,0:06:37.582
to see the bad and wrong [br]things about them,

0:06:37.582,0:06:39.410
that they cannot see about themselves.

0:06:39.410,0:06:42.324
The underlying message here [br]that's being conveyed is:

0:06:42.324,0:06:44.161
"I'm the one that really sees you

0:06:44.161,0:06:46.549
and it just so happens [br]that it's not so good."

0:06:46.549,0:06:49.653
If you're one of the people who [br]establishes this type of pattern

0:06:49.653,0:06:52.538
in relationships the truth is [br]you don't actually see them.

0:06:52.538,0:06:53.614
At all!

0:06:53.614,0:06:54.832
What you do see,

0:06:54.832,0:06:58.890
is every pattern within them that [br]could potentially pose a threat to you.

0:06:59.110,0:07:00.719
This conscious pattern

0:07:00.719,0:07:03.514
is much easier to see in circumstances

0:07:03.514,0:07:07.829
where you have a person who's [br]in a position of recognized power.

0:07:08.080,0:07:11.000
Now if in your childhood especially

0:07:11.000,0:07:12.870
or some point in your life,

0:07:12.870,0:07:15.994
you were put in the position [br]where someone else had power.

0:07:15.994,0:07:18.596
And based on them having [br]more power than you had,

0:07:18.596,0:07:20.279
you got hurt.

0:07:20.279,0:07:21.949
Power in and of itself

0:07:21.949,0:07:24.419
is going to be a trigger for you.

0:07:24.660,0:07:27.389
Essentially what I need you [br]to recognize about yourself,

0:07:27.389,0:07:30.254
if you're in this pattern, is that [br]you don't recognize power

0:07:30.254,0:07:31.619
as a good thing ever.

0:07:31.619,0:07:33.480
It's only ever a bad thing.

0:07:33.480,0:07:36.834
This means that all it takes for [br]you to see somebody as a bad guy

0:07:36.834,0:07:39.039
and to get into this pattern with them,

0:07:39.039,0:07:41.588
is for them to have more power than you.

0:07:41.588,0:07:43.378
For them to be an achiever.

0:07:43.378,0:07:45.410
For them to be a boss.

0:07:45.410,0:07:46.954
For them to be an authority.

0:07:46.954,0:07:48.466
For them to be an expert.

0:07:48.466,0:07:50.082
For them to be more of anything.

0:07:50.082,0:07:52.519
More beautiful more wealthy more famous.

0:07:52.519,0:07:55.679
Anything that makes you perceive [br]that they hold more power,

0:07:55.679,0:07:58.839
kicks you into this place

0:07:58.839,0:08:00.904
where you see them as the bad guy.

0:08:00.904,0:08:03.529
And thus, react as if they are.

0:08:04.759,0:08:07.959
A person is going to react to [br]this if they have this pattern,

0:08:07.959,0:08:09.989
in one of two ways;

0:08:09.989,0:08:13.463
Either they are going to be so preoccupied

0:08:13.463,0:08:17.718
with being the one in [br]power in all situations,

0:08:17.989,0:08:20.889
meaning: "I always have [br]to have the upper hand",

0:08:20.889,0:08:24.269
or they're going to be a person [br]who makes such an enemy

0:08:24.269,0:08:25.559
of power,

0:08:25.559,0:08:27.729
that it becomes their,

0:08:27.729,0:08:29.934
let's call it, calling in life,

0:08:29.934,0:08:33.549
to demolish power and [br]to establish an egalitarian

0:08:33.549,0:08:35.549
type of regime.

0:08:35.729,0:08:38.034
Basically, they'll want to live in a place

0:08:38.034,0:08:41.310
where hierarchy does not exist [br]and everyone's equal at all times.

0:08:41.310,0:08:44.649
No one ever has power over anyone else.

0:08:44.949,0:08:47.374
I can personally attest to this pattern,

0:08:47.374,0:08:50.066
I see it almost every day in my career.

0:08:50.516,0:08:52.099
The reason is,

0:08:52.520,0:08:54.249
obviously, in the world,

0:08:54.249,0:08:55.874
based off of my purpose and career

0:08:55.874,0:08:57.499
I've been put in a position

0:08:57.499,0:09:00.430
where I have both power and authority

0:09:00.430,0:09:01.989
relative to awareness

0:09:01.989,0:09:04.089
and relative to seeing things.

0:09:04.089,0:09:05.739
Especially shadows.

0:09:05.739,0:09:08.539
Now obviously, for people [br]who are triggered by this

0:09:08.539,0:09:12.139
there's nothing more alluring [br]than seeing things about me

0:09:12.139,0:09:15.369
that I don't see about myself.

0:09:16.280,0:09:19.000
There is no more superior position

0:09:19.000,0:09:21.480
you can have with someone [br]in my particular position

0:09:21.480,0:09:24.750
than to be the one who sees the [br]shadows of the shadow seer.

0:09:24.750,0:09:28.819
Or to be the one that is more aware [br]than the awareness leader.

0:09:29.090,0:09:31.049
People with this shadow

0:09:31.049,0:09:32.519
use two excuses,

0:09:32.519,0:09:35.569
mainly, in order to defend or justify

0:09:35.569,0:09:38.404
this unhealthy pattern within themselves.

0:09:38.404,0:09:39.799
The first is,

0:09:39.799,0:09:42.603
it's easy to see things about other people

0:09:42.603,0:09:44.955
and it's not easy to see [br]things about yourself.

0:09:44.955,0:09:47.628
In other words, you can't [br]see your own shit.

0:09:48.040,0:09:50.290
Now, what's interesting about this

0:09:50.290,0:09:52.169
is they're taking a universal truth,

0:09:52.169,0:09:54.959
which is it's much easier to see [br]things about other people

0:09:54.959,0:09:56.664
than it is to see about yourself,

0:09:56.664,0:09:58.639
to justify this behavior.

0:09:58.930,0:10:01.799
The other excuse that people use

0:10:01.799,0:10:03.943
or proof people find to back up this,

0:10:03.943,0:10:05.465
or justify this behavior,

0:10:05.465,0:10:08.338
is: "Just take a look at history."

0:10:08.470,0:10:11.100
Again, they're using a truth

0:10:11.100,0:10:13.890
to back up unhealthy behavior.

0:10:13.890,0:10:15.084
And that truth is:

0:10:15.084,0:10:17.131
that they can look all [br]throughout history

0:10:17.131,0:10:18.935
at people who have had power,

0:10:18.935,0:10:20.849
who have turned into Tyrants

0:10:20.849,0:10:23.589
based off of not being [br]able to see themselves.

0:10:23.589,0:10:25.108
People with this shadow

0:10:25.108,0:10:26.778
hate "Yes People"

0:10:26.778,0:10:28.633
and perceived these historical tyrants

0:10:28.633,0:10:30.648
to have been surrounded by "Yes People".

0:10:30.648,0:10:33.688
"Yes People" of course being people [br]who never oppose the tyrant

0:10:33.688,0:10:35.930
and therefore enable horrible things.

0:10:35.930,0:10:38.565
But here's where I'm going [br]to take this resistance

0:10:38.565,0:10:42.102
that you have towards these [br]types of people in history

0:10:42.102,0:10:43.969
and drop it down a level.

0:10:43.969,0:10:45.874
The real anger

0:10:45.874,0:10:49.460
that people with this pattern [br]have towards "Yes People"

0:10:49.460,0:10:51.884
is actually the anger that they had

0:10:51.884,0:10:53.886
towards the person in their life

0:10:53.886,0:10:55.610
that enabled

0:10:55.610,0:10:57.775
the tyrant in their life

0:10:57.775,0:11:00.630
that used their power against them,

0:11:00.630,0:11:03.360
to do what they did.

0:11:03.630,0:11:06.779
Essentially it's their pain[br]at never being defended

0:11:06.779,0:11:09.884
in case you want to look into this, [br]It's called bystander trauma

0:11:09.884,0:11:11.259
or enabling trauma.

0:11:11.260,0:11:12.909
Due to all this pattern

0:11:12.909,0:11:14.474
that I've just exposed to you,

0:11:14.474,0:11:15.846
people with this pattern,

0:11:15.846,0:11:17.809
tend to play the devil's advocate.

0:11:17.809,0:11:19.439
Like, all the time.

0:11:19.439,0:11:21.584
Playing the devil's advocate [br]in the scenario

0:11:21.584,0:11:23.776
is an attempt to get [br]someone they already see

0:11:23.776,0:11:25.619
as the bad guy in a [br]position of power,

0:11:25.619,0:11:28.340
to consider the other which they [br]perceived to be the underdog.

0:11:28.340,0:11:30.209
Because they're identified [br]with the underdog.

0:11:30.209,0:11:32.154
What they're defending [br]through Devils Advocacy

0:11:32.154,0:11:34.159
is really the disempowered [br]part of themselves.

0:11:34.159,0:11:37.273
Essentially they try to keep [br]you both safe and good

0:11:37.273,0:11:40.118
by knocking you down, [br]so you never have power.

0:11:40.118,0:11:42.213
It may be interesting for you to note

0:11:42.213,0:11:44.839
something about this pattern [br]of devil's advocacy,

0:11:44.839,0:11:47.514
if you know people in your life [br]who like to play this pattern out

0:11:47.514,0:11:49.350
and tend to always play [br]the devil's advocate.

0:11:49.350,0:11:51.664
I'm going to tell you a little bit [br]about the psychology here

0:11:51.664,0:11:54.639
and I hope I can describe it in [br]a way that you understand it.

0:11:54.710,0:11:57.299
People who play devil's advocate,

0:11:57.299,0:12:00.069
tend to feel when someone's upset,

0:12:00.069,0:12:02.954
that the person on the [br]other side of that upset

0:12:02.954,0:12:05.129
is going to get hurt.

0:12:05.200,0:12:08.999
Now when they perceive that [br]that person is going to get hurt,

0:12:08.999,0:12:10.720
that makes them

0:12:10.720,0:12:12.574
suddenly the perceived victim

0:12:12.574,0:12:14.401
and thus the perceived underdog.

0:12:14.401,0:12:16.995
Because they see themselves [br]as the underdog

0:12:16.995,0:12:19.189
and that's actually [br]where they identify,

0:12:19.189,0:12:21.609
they will then go into a position

0:12:21.609,0:12:23.589
of having to defend that person.

0:12:23.589,0:12:25.259
So their alliance

0:12:25.259,0:12:26.790
will be with the person

0:12:26.790,0:12:29.379
whoever they're talking to, is upset at.

0:12:29.379,0:12:31.969
Now, the reason that it's super confusing

0:12:31.969,0:12:34.314
why the hell does this person [br]defend that person

0:12:34.314,0:12:36.600
then 10 seconds later [br]defend the other person is

0:12:36.600,0:12:38.480
they would do the same [br]thing on the other side.

0:12:38.480,0:12:40.020
If they were standing [br]next to that person

0:12:40.020,0:12:42.420
and they were upset at you, [br]suddenly the upset suggests

0:12:42.420,0:12:43.800
you could get hurt,

0:12:43.800,0:12:45.340
the fact that you could get hurt

0:12:45.340,0:12:47.840
means you're now the underdog they [br]identify with you and they play

0:12:47.840,0:12:49.750
the devil's advocate to that person.

0:12:49.750,0:12:52.089
Okay, so basically to [br]summarize it very simply

0:12:52.089,0:12:53.729
the minute someone could get hurt

0:12:53.730,0:12:55.009
they become the underdog,

0:12:55.009,0:12:56.569
the one that could get hurt

0:12:56.569,0:12:58.969
and thus this makes the [br]person identify with them

0:12:58.969,0:13:00.970
and argue on behalf of them.

0:13:00.970,0:13:03.585
Again, they will subconsciously [br]be defending themselves

0:13:03.585,0:13:07.150
and their position of perceived [br]powerlessness vicariously.

0:13:07.770,0:13:10.630
And now, just when you thought we had

0:13:10.630,0:13:12.329
dug as deep as we could,

0:13:12.329,0:13:15.489
we're gonna have to go one layer deeper.

0:13:15.489,0:13:16.709
~ Laughter ~

0:13:16.720,0:13:19.090
When a child is put in the position

0:13:19.090,0:13:20.705
where somebody in their life

0:13:20.705,0:13:23.272
has this power and it's using [br]this power against them,

0:13:23.272,0:13:26.630
and it becomes an unsafe or [br]perceived to be unsafe situation,

0:13:26.630,0:13:30.019
the child copes with this by [br]letting go of their identity.

0:13:30.019,0:13:33.170
They become whatever pleases

0:13:33.170,0:13:36.660
this tyrant of a powerful adult.

0:13:36.660,0:13:39.759
Now obviously when they have [br]to give themselves up in this way,

0:13:39.759,0:13:42.019
they're not happy about it.

0:13:42.140,0:13:45.024
Often when they begin to [br]heal out of this pattern,

0:13:45.024,0:13:47.096
instead of focusing on what they want

0:13:47.096,0:13:48.420
and what their feelings are

0:13:48.420,0:13:52.250
and what they're thinking and [br]going after their unique desires,

0:13:52.740,0:13:54.860
they turn against

0:13:54.860,0:13:57.240
anyone in a position of power.

0:13:57.600,0:13:58.700
Basically,

0:13:58.700,0:14:01.620
rebellion is their only way [br]to feel a sense of self.

0:14:01.620,0:14:03.949
They can only feel definition

0:14:03.949,0:14:07.004
for who they are and what they [br]want and don't want and whatever,

0:14:07.004,0:14:09.809
when they're in opposition to something.

0:14:10.290,0:14:12.885
This means antagonism is their only way

0:14:12.885,0:14:15.260
to feel a sense of self.

0:14:15.450,0:14:17.564
So let's pretend you've watch this video

0:14:17.564,0:14:20.559
and you can recognize this [br]particular pattern within yourself.

0:14:20.559,0:14:23.469
I'm gonna give you some suggestions [br]for what you need to do.

0:14:23.469,0:14:24.560
The first thing;

0:14:24.560,0:14:26.715
Stop being concerned with whether or not

0:14:26.715,0:14:30.470
somebody can see their [br]own shadows in general.

0:14:30.470,0:14:32.340
If you're in this pattern,

0:14:32.340,0:14:34.065
what you have to recognize is you

0:14:34.065,0:14:37.740
don't actually trust the person [br]on the other side of this.

0:14:37.960,0:14:40.440
Obviously, the focus then [br]needs to be placed on:

0:14:40.440,0:14:42.530
"Why don't I trust this person?"

0:14:42.690,0:14:44.619
"How do I trust this person?"

0:14:44.619,0:14:46.890
"Is this person really unworthy of trust?"

0:14:46.890,0:14:49.330
"Or is it me that's just [br]projecting that on to them

0:14:49.330,0:14:51.590
based off of my previous experiences?"

0:14:51.590,0:14:53.200
The real thing you need

0:14:53.200,0:14:55.285
is not for them to see their shadow,

0:14:55.285,0:14:58.750
it's for you to have more personal power.

0:14:58.750,0:15:02.390
And in this situation you're [br]powerless to your own shadow.

0:15:02.600,0:15:06.185
One thing you need to see is that [br]power was never the problem.

0:15:06.185,0:15:08.950
I mean never ever the problem.

0:15:09.860,0:15:12.740
Power doesn't corrupt.

0:15:12.740,0:15:14.415
Even though you've been told that.

0:15:14.415,0:15:16.920
Even though it seems like that's [br]the way that the world works.

0:15:16.920,0:15:18.324
Power doesn't corrupt.

0:15:18.324,0:15:22.209
All power does, is it magnifies [br]someone's actual character.

0:15:22.220,0:15:24.309
It just becomes more

0:15:24.309,0:15:26.684
of what a person already is.

0:15:26.684,0:15:27.649
Right?

0:15:27.649,0:15:29.524
So I want you to think about power

0:15:29.524,0:15:31.002
as if it's fire.

0:15:31.002,0:15:33.500
A person could possess a lot of fire,

0:15:33.500,0:15:35.949
but obviously if that person [br]wants to hurt someone,

0:15:35.949,0:15:38.450
they're gonna do something [br]different with that fire

0:15:38.450,0:15:41.799
than somebody who wants [br]to make people feel good.

0:15:41.890,0:15:43.424
So it's not about power.

0:15:43.424,0:15:45.261
It's about the person who holds it,

0:15:45.261,0:15:47.919
and what their whole MO is.

0:15:49.320,0:15:52.599
Perhaps the most important and [br]critical thing for you to be doing

0:15:52.599,0:15:54.399
is to focus on developing

0:15:54.399,0:15:56.910
a healthy and a strong sense of self.

0:15:56.910,0:15:58.220
For this reason,

0:15:58.220,0:15:59.400
I have a few videos

0:15:59.400,0:16:01.220
that will help you immensely,

0:16:01.220,0:16:02.735
if you have this pattern.

0:16:02.735,0:16:03.912
The first is:

0:16:03.912,0:16:07.380
Personal Boundaries versus Oneness [br](How to Develop Healthy Boundaries)

0:16:07.380,0:16:08.555
The second is:

0:16:08.555,0:16:09.932
How To Be Authentic

0:16:09.932,0:16:10.951
and the third is:

0:16:10.951,0:16:13.400
People Are Not All Equal

0:16:13.940,0:16:15.330
The next thing is,

0:16:15.330,0:16:18.460
we have to try to really fully [br]understand something

0:16:18.460,0:16:21.055
that someone is doing and [br]understand that person,

0:16:21.055,0:16:23.792
before we automatically [br]judge it as bad or wrong

0:16:23.792,0:16:25.700
or out of alignment or shadow.

0:16:25.700,0:16:28.555
It's only after we face our [br]own resistance to things

0:16:28.555,0:16:31.720
that the truth about that [br]thing can finally emerge.

0:16:31.720,0:16:33.054
For example,

0:16:33.054,0:16:35.589
let's say that we have a lot of...

0:16:35.690,0:16:38.109
Judgement about dressing sexy.

0:16:38.109,0:16:39.979
It's out of alignment

0:16:39.979,0:16:42.440
with who that person should be.

0:16:42.440,0:16:44.224
You can't actually know that

0:16:44.224,0:16:47.400
until you face your own [br]resistance to dressing sexy.

0:16:47.400,0:16:50.084
1) "Where did I get the idea [br]that this isn't Okay?"

0:16:50.084,0:16:51.769
2) "Why do I feel it isn't Okay?"

0:16:51.769,0:16:53.174
Facing the emotions,

0:16:53.174,0:16:55.240
that reaction I have to it.

0:16:55.240,0:16:57.550
It's only by facing your resistance

0:16:57.550,0:17:01.135
that the actual truth about [br]dressing sexy, in this case,

0:17:01.135,0:17:03.460
will rise to the surface.

0:17:03.830,0:17:07.040
The next thing you have [br]to do is to practice love.

0:17:07.040,0:17:09.690
I know that that sounds like a new-age

0:17:09.690,0:17:12.420
kind of a fairy tallish way [br]of approaching the world.

0:17:12.420,0:17:13.990
~ Giggles ~

0:17:14.430,0:17:15.900
But here's the thing;

0:17:15.900,0:17:18.920
To love somebody is to take [br]them as a part of yourself.

0:17:18.920,0:17:21.249
Now if you really understand those words,

0:17:21.249,0:17:23.009
I mean at a visceral level,

0:17:23.009,0:17:25.899
you will see that it is probably [br]the most difficult practice

0:17:25.899,0:17:27.379
you could ever do.

0:17:27.379,0:17:28.990
Ever!

0:17:29.600,0:17:31.629
What practicing love does

0:17:31.629,0:17:34.409
is it demolishes power dynamics.

0:17:35.000,0:17:36.725
To understand more about this,

0:17:36.725,0:17:38.877
you can feel free to [br]watch my video titled:

0:17:38.877,0:17:40.530
What is Love?

0:17:40.530,0:17:43.104
When you are actually [br]in the practice of love,

0:17:43.104,0:17:45.391
the reflections you give someone,

0:17:45.391,0:17:49.240
if you show them someplace that [br]you feel like they're misaligned,

0:17:49.240,0:17:51.449
the energy you will be doing this with

0:17:51.449,0:17:53.094
is not against them.

0:17:53.094,0:17:55.356
It's gonna be for them.

0:17:55.576,0:17:57.809
And there's no way to fake this.

0:17:57.809,0:17:59.843
If you are doing something

0:17:59.843,0:18:02.870
for all of these subconscious [br]reasons that I've just explained,

0:18:02.870,0:18:04.348
as part of this shadow,

0:18:04.348,0:18:07.053
it doesn't matter if you say [br]that it's for someone

0:18:07.053,0:18:08.859
or if you even think it's for them.

0:18:08.859,0:18:10.604
It will be completely obvious,

0:18:10.604,0:18:12.546
because of the energy behind it,

0:18:12.546,0:18:14.160
that it isn't.

0:18:14.160,0:18:16.354
In other words, it's important to realize

0:18:16.354,0:18:19.829
that we can be in complete denial,

0:18:20.230,0:18:22.659
telling ourselves that [br]something is for someone,

0:18:22.659,0:18:24.319
when it's really against them.

0:18:24.319,0:18:28.104
Also, we can be in [br]complete and total denial

0:18:28.104,0:18:31.326
that we are doing something for [br]the best interest of someone else,

0:18:31.326,0:18:33.539
when really the only [br]reason we're doing it

0:18:33.539,0:18:35.530
is for our own best interests.

0:18:35.530,0:18:37.910
When someone does present [br]an opposing opinion

0:18:37.910,0:18:40.750
or show someone their shadows [br]from outside that shadow,

0:18:40.750,0:18:42.349
the flavor of it changes,

0:18:42.349,0:18:44.420
from a shadow to an assist.

0:18:44.420,0:18:46.529
It doesn't register as a rebellion,

0:18:46.529,0:18:49.449
as antagonism or as a power play.

0:18:49.610,0:18:51.739
Resolve the shadow within yourself,

0:18:51.739,0:18:54.249
or else, you will be a foe not a friend.

0:18:54.249,0:18:56.049
It will be more dangerous than that,

0:18:56.049,0:18:58.470
you will be a foe in the [br]disguise of a friend.

0:18:58.470,0:19:00.400
And also, I want to remind you

0:19:00.400,0:19:03.535
that at this rather psychological [br]and basic level of conversation

0:19:03.535,0:19:05.390
that we've been having today,

0:19:05.390,0:19:08.400
the devil doesn't really [br]need more advocates.

0:19:08.400,0:19:10.100
Have a good week.

0:19:26.926,0:19:29.286
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte[br]www.tanyaduarte.com