[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.71,0:00:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[The following talk contains\Ndescriptions of sexual violence
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.97,0:00:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[which may be triggering to survivors.]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.44,0:00:14.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Can you help me?]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.75,0:00:18.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Can you help change the world
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.68,0:00:22.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[with more meaningful questions?]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.08,0:00:29.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Question everything better.]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.88,0:00:36.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Reciting) It began as a typical Thursday:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.51,0:00:41.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sunlight kissed my eyelids good morning.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.80,0:00:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember climbing out of bed,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.41,0:00:49.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,making coffee to the sound\Nof children playing outside,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.66,0:00:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting music on,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.18,0:00:55.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loading the dishwasher,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.40,0:01:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting roses in a vase\Nin the middle of the kitchen table.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.38,0:01:08.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only when my apartment was spotless\Nwould I step into the bathtub,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.10,0:01:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wash yesterday out of my hair,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.47,0:01:15.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the walls of my home were decorated
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.43,0:01:20.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with frames, bookshelves,\Nphotos I'd decorate myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.55,0:01:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hang a necklace on my chest,\Nhook earrings in,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.69,0:01:32.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,apply lipstick like paint,\Nsweep my hair back.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.93,0:01:36.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just your typical Thursday.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.28,0:01:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We ended up better\Nget together with friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.75,0:01:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the end, you asked\Nif I need a ride home and I said yes
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.83,0:01:47.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because our dads\Nwork for the same company,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.34,0:01:51.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you'd been to my place\Nfor dinner many times,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.41,0:01:54.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I should have known
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.41,0:02:00.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you began to confuse\Nkind conversation with flirtation,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.62,0:02:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you told me to let my hair down,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.40,0:02:06.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when instead of driving me home
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.51,0:02:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toward the bright intersection\Nof lights and life,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.20,0:02:16.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you took a left\Nto the road that led nowhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.77,0:02:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I asked where we were going,\Nyou asked was I afraid,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.40,0:02:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's when my voice\Njumped over the edge of my throat,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.08,0:02:32.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,landed at the bottom of my belly\Nand hid for months.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.07,0:02:36.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All the different parts in me\Nturned the lights off,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.38,0:02:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,shut the blinds, locked the doors,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.09,0:02:43.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hid at the back\Nof some upstairs closet of my mind
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.73,0:02:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while someone came and broke the windows.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.30,0:02:50.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You, someone, kicked the front door in,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.31,0:02:53.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you took everything,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.04,0:02:57.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you, someone, took me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.94,0:03:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was you who dove to me\Nwith a fork and a knife,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.98,0:03:09.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eyes glinting with starvation\Nlike you hadn't eaten in weeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.50,0:03:14.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was 110 pounds of fresh meat
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.50,0:03:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'd skin and gut with your fingers
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.48,0:03:21.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like you were scraping\Nthe inside of a cantaloupe clean.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.64,0:03:27.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I screamed for my mother\Nas you nail my wrist to the ground,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.47,0:03:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,turned my breast to bruised fruit.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.07,0:03:34.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This home is empty now.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.47,0:03:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No gas, no electricity, no running water.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.14,0:03:44.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The food is rotten from head to foot.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.07,0:03:48.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am layered in dust;\Nfruit flies, webs, bugs.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.07,0:03:49.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone called the plumber,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.95,0:03:53.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the stomach is backed up,\NI've been vomiting since!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.19,0:03:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Call the electrician\Nthese eyes won't light up.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.52,0:04:00.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Call the cleaners\Nto wash me up and hang me to dry.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.74,0:04:05.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When you broke into my home,\Nit never felt like mine again.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.51,0:04:10.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't even let a lover in\Nwithout being sick.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.58,0:04:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lose sleep after the first date,\Nlose my appetite,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.74,0:04:22.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,become more bone and less skin,\Nforget to breathe.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.05,0:04:26.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every night, my bedroom\Nbecomes a psych ward
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.89,0:04:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where panic attacks wake\Nmen playing doctors to keep me calm.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.70,0:04:37.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every lover who touches me\Nends up feeling like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.77,0:04:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Their fingers - you, mouths - you,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.50,0:04:44.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until they're not even the ones\Non top of me anymore; it's you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.24,0:04:50.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I am so tired\Nof doing things your way.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.93,0:04:52.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It isn't working.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.16,0:04:56.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've spent years trying to figure out\Nhow I could have stopped it.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.80,0:05:00.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the sun can't stop\Nthe storm from coming,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.61,0:05:03.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the tree can't stop the axe.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.85,0:05:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can't blame me for having\Na hole the size of your manhood
Dialogue: 0,0:05:09.30,0:05:11.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my chest anymore.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.10,0:05:14.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's too heavy to carry your guilt.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.42,0:05:17.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm setting it down.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.52,0:05:21.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm tired of decorating\Nthis place with your shame
Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.52,0:05:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if it belongs to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.49,0:05:27.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's too much to walk around\Nwith what your hands have done
Dialogue: 0,0:05:27.16,0:05:30.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if it's not my hands that have done it.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.78,0:05:33.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The truth comes to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.91,0:05:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Suddenly, after years of rain,\Nthe truth comes
Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.61,0:05:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like sunlight pouring\Nthrough that open window.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.26,0:05:47.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes a long time to get here,\Nbut it all comes full circle.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.61,0:05:51.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes a broken, twisted person
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.04,0:05:54.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to come searching for meaning\Nbetween my legs,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.22,0:06:01.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it takes a whole, complete,\Nperfectly design person to survive it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.92,0:06:06.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes monsters to steal souls\Nand fighters to reclaim them.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.60,0:06:10.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This home is\Nwhat I came into this world with;
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.68,0:06:14.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was the first home, will be the last home.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.90,0:06:16.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't take it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.94,0:06:19.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no space for you,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.81,0:06:24.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no welcome mat, no extra bedrooms.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.72,0:06:29.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm opening all the windows,\Nairing it out,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.32,0:06:35.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting roses in a vase\Nin the middle of that kitchen table,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.28,0:06:37.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lighting a candle,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.25,0:06:41.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loading the dishwasher with my thoughts\Nuntil they're spotless,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:42.11,0:06:46.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, I plan to step into the bathtub,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.16,0:06:50.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wash yesterday out of my hair,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.89,0:06:56.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put music on, sit back, put my feet up,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.47,0:07:00.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and enjoy this typical Thursday.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.54,0:07:03.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.06,0:07:12.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Speaking) So when I first started\Nwriting years ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.06,0:07:14.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was a private hobby,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.19,0:07:18.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then years after that,\Nit became a public one
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.07,0:07:21.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I shared with\Nsome family and some friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:23.22,0:07:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then years after that,\NI began to share it with the Internet,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.21,0:07:31.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and today, I'm lucky enough to say\Nthat it's become my full-time job.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.97,0:07:35.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when I first started to travel
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.64,0:07:38.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to perform spoken word poetry\Nlike you saw here today
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.60,0:07:42.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to do readings\Nof my book "Milk and Honey,"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.60,0:07:48.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,family and friends always asked me,\N"Don't you ever get homesick?"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.70,0:07:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And on the plane rides to and from,\NI ponder that question
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.86,0:08:01.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the truth was\NI never really got homesick.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.65,0:08:04.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, of course I'd lie to my mom\Nand tell her that I did,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.61,0:08:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because what was I really going to say?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.97,0:08:09.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Hi, mom. Yeah. No.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.66,0:08:14.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm actually completely fine,\NI don't miss being home at all."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.31,0:08:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trust me, I did it once last year,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.90,0:08:21.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I am still hearing\Nabout it a year later.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.49,0:08:24.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the truth was
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.25,0:08:28.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the fact that I never felt homesick\Nmade me feel bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.42,0:08:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Was there something\Nwrong with me?", I thought.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.44,0:08:33.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Was I cold?"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.25,0:08:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after months of wandering,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.80,0:08:42.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I realize that the reason\NI never felt homesick
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.84,0:08:48.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was because, for me,\Nhome was wherever I was.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.31,0:08:51.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let me explain.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.07,0:08:56.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd moved over a dozen times\Nin my short life,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.94,0:09:01.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so this concept that home\Nis some physical structure
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.14,0:09:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just stopped making sense a long time ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.97,0:09:07.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I place the idea of home
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.56,0:09:11.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on places that kept on changing,\Non temporary roofs?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.80,0:09:18.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Houses were structures. Home was here.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.55,0:09:24.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I was three, home was\Non that two-wheeler scooter
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.27,0:09:28.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rocketing around my village in Punjab.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.10,0:09:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When my father left India as a refugee,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.10,0:09:36.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he went to search for a home\Nin far-off countries
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.77,0:09:40.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while my mother tried to maintain\Nour crumbling one there.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.07,0:09:43.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And years after that,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.00,0:09:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mum and I found home
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.66,0:09:50.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on an airplane hurdling\Ntowards a Canadian tarmac.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.74,0:09:53.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.76,0:09:56.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the dozen plus moves\Nthat followed that,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.86,0:09:59.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the only constant I had\Nunder each of those roofs
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.54,0:10:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was my art,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.88,0:10:03.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was my writing and my expression.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.65,0:10:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So naturally, writing became like a limb.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.53,0:10:13.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It became an extension of my being.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.46,0:10:18.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So then, what happens
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.29,0:10:24.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when your home,\Nwhen your body is attacked?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:24.76,0:10:27.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What happens, say, when you thrust
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.62,0:10:31.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something as dark as sexual abuse,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.33,0:10:35.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,molestation, a rape, onto a person?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.79,0:10:40.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It makes you feel robbed\Nlike you don't even own your body.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.79,0:10:44.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They own it,\Nand you're living in it on rent.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.09,0:10:49.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this feeling\Nof homelessness within the body
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.28,0:10:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,isn't restricted to only sexual violence.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.31,0:11:00.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Domestic violence can make you feel\Njust as far away from yourself
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.23,0:11:06.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,navigating this world\Nwith a physical or a mental disability.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.02,0:11:10.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That first treatment of chemotherapy
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.18,0:11:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will make you feel like\Nyour body's turned on you,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.70,0:11:16.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you're living someplace foreign.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.54,0:11:21.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The sensation of being trapped,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.20,0:11:24.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being born into the wrong body altogether
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.20,0:11:26.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is terrifying.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.20,0:11:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The boy or girl mercilessly bullied\Nat school and battered at home,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:32.98,0:11:37.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the refugee, unwanted on the old shore
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.46,0:11:41.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and deemed\Na scavenging vulture in the new.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.51,0:11:46.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So many of us are trying\Nto reclaim our bodies from something.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:48.97,0:11:51.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At my lowest point -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.46,0:11:54.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,this was right before I began\Nto take writing seriously
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.24,0:11:56.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and make it into an everyday practice -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.41,0:12:01.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thoughts of ending my life were constant,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.72,0:12:04.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and attempts weren't far off.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.40,0:12:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could not stand myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.48,0:12:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd walk into the bathroom,\Nand I would seriously turn the lights off,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.94,0:12:16.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would shower in complete darkness,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.38,0:12:18.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while I wouldn't have to stand there,\Nunder the water,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.94,0:12:21.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have to look down and see my body
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.16,0:12:24.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because this thing\Nhad brought me so much pain
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.52,0:12:28.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that seeing it filled me with disgust.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.83,0:12:34.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I honestly avoided mirrors\Nlike one would avoid an ex at a party.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:35.62,0:12:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I refused to acknowledge it,\Nlook at it, appreciate it.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.35,0:12:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I craved physical pain\Nto manage the emotional pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.21,0:12:49.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so I began to break the body down,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.89,0:12:54.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,refused to nurture it\Nwith good food and good sleep,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.76,0:13:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,abused it through language\Nand vandalized it through self-harm.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:02.59,0:13:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But there was one day,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.58,0:13:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I was crying upstairs in my room -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:07.24,0:13:11.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was always Niagara Falls in my room\Nat that point in my life -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.57,0:13:13.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but this day was different.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:13.40,0:13:19.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This day the tears suddenly stopped,\Nit was like the taps went dry,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.34,0:13:23.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and like a robot, I got up,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:23.02,0:13:27.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walked to the closet,\NI found some charcoal,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.06,0:13:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I found some paper,\Nand I sat, and I drew for hours.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.50,0:13:38.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What I ended up with\Nwas a picture of a woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.85,0:13:42.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in the corner of the page,\NI'd written a poem.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.95,0:13:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And little did I know\Nthat sitting there in grade 10 or 11
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.95,0:13:50.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that this combination\Nof picture and poetry
Dialogue: 0,0:13:50.39,0:13:51.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would one day lead
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.87,0:13:55.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a New York Times\Nbestselling collection of poems.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.70,0:14:01.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The writing was\Na guttural response to my trauma.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:02.33,0:14:05.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wrote, and I wrote,\Nand I wrote, and I wrote
Dialogue: 0,0:14:05.24,0:14:08.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the intention to survive.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:09.02,0:14:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The poetry in the books, all of that,\Nwas just the side effect.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.06,0:14:20.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it was this writing\Nthat led me to reclaim my body.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:21.90,0:14:26.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, I come from\Na tradition of poetry.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.31,0:14:30.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Being raised in a Sikh household,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:30.24,0:14:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every instance of my life from birth\Nhas been informed by poetry.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:36.19,0:14:40.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sikh scriptures are written\Nin poetic verse.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.65,0:14:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was on the lips of my mother\Nas she rocked me to sleep,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.33,0:14:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was on the lips of her mother\Nwhose own mother rocked her to sleep
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.77,0:14:53.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as they traveled an ox cart
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.64,0:14:58.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the carnage and pillage\Nof the South Asian partition.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.17,0:15:05.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The poetry is Punjabi,\Nand Persian, Braj, and Sanskrit.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.84,0:15:11.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is how millions\Nviewed life, in concert,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.46,0:15:16.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,constructed by the languages\Nof nomads, and warriors, and mystics.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.38,0:15:21.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even our names are picked from poems\Nwritten hundreds of years ago.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.75,0:15:24.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I'll decide to marry,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:25.26,0:15:29.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it will be poetry\Nthat will bond that marriage.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:29.81,0:15:32.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And even when I pass,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:32.07,0:15:36.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it will be poetry\Nthat will mark my departure.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.59,0:15:41.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so, it comes as no surprise, I think,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.83,0:15:47.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I would use writing poetry\Nas a means to reclaim this body,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.19,0:15:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to find home here again.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:51.98,0:15:55.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was this writing of poetry
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.41,0:15:59.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that led me to find love for myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:00.82,0:16:04.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and with that love, a path lit up.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.48,0:16:10.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took that love, walked back into myself,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:10.68,0:16:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to that five-year-old girl,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.17,0:16:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to that 10-15-year old girl who was\Nstill sitting inside of me scared,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.28,0:16:22.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the one who had no one.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.19,0:16:25.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I walked over to her,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.16,0:16:29.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,picked her up, and told her\Nit was going to be OK.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.16,0:16:37.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all sat in this body that day,\Njoined together as one.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.25,0:16:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said to all\Nthe younger versions of me,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.62,0:16:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "You are welcome here.\NYou have always been welcome here.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:46.13,0:16:48.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This place belongs to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:48.32,0:16:52.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nothing was your fault, and I love you."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:54.03,0:16:58.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The truth comes after years of rain,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:58.73,0:17:03.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the truth comes like sunlight\Npouring through that open window.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:03.50,0:17:09.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes a long time to get here,\Nbut it all comes full circle.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.33,0:17:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes a broken, twisted person
Dialogue: 0,0:17:12.76,0:17:16.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to come searching for meaning\Nbetween my legs,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.27,0:17:19.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it takes a whole, complete,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.42,0:17:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perfectly designed person to survive it.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.47,0:17:28.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It takes monsters to steal souls\Nand fighters to reclaim them.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.94,0:17:32.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This home is\Nwhat I came into this world with,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.33,0:17:37.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was the first home,\Nwill be the last home.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.52,0:17:39.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can't take it.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.79,0:17:43.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no space for you,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:43.09,0:17:47.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,no welcome mat, no extra bedrooms.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:48.11,0:17:52.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm opening all the windows,\Nairing it out,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:52.51,0:17:56.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,putting roses in a vase\Nin the middle of that kitchen table,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.100,0:17:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lighting a candle,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:59.39,0:18:04.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,loading the dishwasher with my thoughts\Nuntil they're spotless,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:04.08,0:18:08.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then, I plan to step\Ninto that bathtub,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:08.08,0:18:11.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wash yesterday out of my hair,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.23,0:18:14.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,decorate my body in gold,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:14.15,0:18:20.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put music on, sit back, put my feet up,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.45,0:18:24.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and enjoy this typical Thursday.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:27.51,0:18:28.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)