WEBVTT

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(dinosaur roars)

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(Ian) SHUT UP!

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Welcome to my island.

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<i>One deranged millionaire professor...</i>

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You're both experts in ancient Pokemon fossils,

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so I think you're gonna find 
this place verrrry interesting!

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<i>Two idiot scientists...</i>

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I've managed to extract the DNA 
from this preserved Pokemon.

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The Pokemon became preserved in amber! Brilliant!

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What? No! It just fell in my Jell-O!

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(slurps)

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<i>And I guess Jell-O is in this movie too?</i>

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What kind of eggs are these?

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They're Pokemon.

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-Real Pokemon?! 
-Look!

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It's so...beautiful!

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Welcome to Jurassic Pokemon Park!

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<i>Nothing could go wrong...</i>

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You're breeding a charizard?!

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That's insane!

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No, actually we crossbred
a charizard with a pikachu.

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I call it Pikachard!

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-Is it dangerous? 
-Nah.

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(pikachard shrieks)

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Uh...that's just hot sauce.

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Maybe we shouldn't be 
messing with Mother Nature.

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This could really come back
to bite us in the ass.

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Wow, it's almost like you're
foreshadowing the events

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that are gonna happen so, later,
when all the pokemon break loose,

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we can be like, "Huh. I guess
we should've listened to

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that smart woman and not
messed with Mother Nature."

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Bros, chill out! Nothing bad is gonna happen.

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Unless, of course, the power were to go out

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from some catastrophic storm,

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but...that would never happen (laughs).

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<i>Or could it?</i>

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The power to the entire park is out.

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Even my tanning salon?! NOOOOOOO!

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<i>Oh shizzzle...</i>

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(booming, thudding noises)

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What the hell was that?!

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Sorry. Jell-O gives me gas!

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(booming noise)

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Oh, heh. That one was me.

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(booming noise)

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Oh! Okay, that one definitely wasn't me.

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(pokemon roars)

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(together) AAAAAAAAAH!

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<i>Starring a token black guy...</i>

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Most of us probably ain't gonna make it.

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Especially me cause I'm the black guy.

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<i>A stereotypical Australian hunter
guy with no peripheral vision...</i>

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-Karp!
-Clever girl!

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-(hunter screams)
-Karp! Karp!

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<i>A woman who can't tell the difference
 between real and fake hands...</i>

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(gasps) Oh, thank god you're here stereotypical

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Australian hunter guy! AAAAAAAH!

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(continues shrieking)

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AH! Seriously?!

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<i>And an annoying boy in a stupid hat
 who screams like a high-pitched girl...</i>

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-(Ian shrieks like girl)
-Oh, shut up!

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-Nice one!
-(both laugh)

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<i>And don't forget all that [bleep]ing Jello-!</i>

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Are you sure we're safe in here?

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Yes, unless they figure out how to open doors.

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(doorbell rings continuously)

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-I'll get it! 
-No! No, no, nooooo!

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-(doorbell rings)
-Who is it?

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(man screams)


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(all scream)

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<i>Wait! There's no way the token
 black guy died already, right?</i>

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<i>Okay, nevermind.</i>

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(pikachard shrieks)

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-(girl shrieks)
-Shut up!

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(still shrieking)

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God! Who put these annoying
ass kids in this movie?!

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<i>There's no way they can stop them.</i>

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There's only one way we can stop them.

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<i>Oh, I guess I'm wrong...</i>

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We've gotta...catch 'em all!

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<i>This fall...</i>

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<i>pray to God...</i>

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<i>that you can catch 'em all.</i>

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Huh?!

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(growls)

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Aw, sh*t!

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<i>Jurassic Pokepark</i>

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<i>Yup, Hollywood's not even trying anymore.</i>

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-Hello, fellow Pokemon trainers! 
-Jelllooo!

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To see deleted scenes from this video--

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I've had it with these mother
f*cking severed hands

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on my mother f*cking shoulders!

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And bloopers--

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What if up were down and we were just

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stuck to the ceiling right now?

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What if cats were dogs 
and farts were brains?

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-Click the video on the right!
-What about the Jell-O?

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Shut up with the Jell-O already!

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Anyway, to see our Pokemon in Real Life series,

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click the other video on the right.

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And click the subscribe
button if you're not an idiot!

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-Oh, no! Too much Jell-O! (retches) 
-Aw, man!

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These were my shamelessly-tell-people-
to-click-things-on-the-screen shoes!

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I'm sorry I caused all this.

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I guess I should've never 
messed with Mother Nature!

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-(vomits) 
-Aw, dammit!

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These were my give-a-
heartfelt-speech-about-learning-

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my-lesson-at-the-end-of-the-movie shoes!

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