WEBVTT 00:00:00.217 --> 00:00:02.801 Many parents with families and people 00:00:02.801 --> 00:00:05.117 planning their families have realized 00:00:05.117 --> 00:00:07.186 that there are many alternatives to the 00:00:07.186 --> 00:00:09.070 mainstream schooling system. 00:00:09.070 --> 00:00:11.388 Whether it be homeschooling, unschooling, 00:00:11.388 --> 00:00:14.657 Waldorf or Montessori, just to name a few 00:00:14.657 --> 00:00:17.226 options, there are so many out there. 00:00:17.226 --> 00:00:19.128 Today I am going to introduce you to my 00:00:19.128 --> 00:00:20.910 friend, Lucy, at Life Without School 00:00:20.910 --> 00:00:23.693 and she is going to share 6 reasons why 00:00:23.693 --> 00:00:26.575 she chooses to unschool her children. 00:00:26.575 --> 00:00:27.559 Here she is... 00:00:27.559 --> 00:00:29.053 Lucy: Hi everybody! I'm Lucy. 00:00:29.053 --> 00:00:31.023 I live in New Zealand in a yurt with my 00:00:31.023 --> 00:00:33.934 2 children, Ramona who is 9 and Gina who is 7. 00:00:33.934 --> 00:00:35.615 And my partner, Tim. 00:00:35.615 --> 00:00:37.682 One of the more radical parts of our life 00:00:37.682 --> 00:00:40.001 is that we live a life totally without school. 00:00:40.001 --> 00:00:43.286 In fact, we live a life totally without 00:00:43.286 --> 00:00:45.537 any curriculum whatsoever. 00:00:45.537 --> 00:00:47.702 Some people call this unschooling, some 00:00:47.702 --> 00:00:49.636 people call it whole life learning, but 00:00:49.636 --> 00:00:52.020 it's really just living as humans have 00:00:52.020 --> 00:00:55.739 lived for millennia. Which is learning by 00:00:55.739 --> 00:00:59.225 doing and learning within your community. 00:00:59.225 --> 00:01:01.448 Learning from those around you. Simply 00:01:01.448 --> 00:01:04.211 experiencing rather than sitting behind a 00:01:04.211 --> 00:01:06.313 desk being taught stuff that you're not 00:01:06.313 --> 00:01:07.760 really that interested in. 00:01:07.760 --> 00:01:09.796 It's really a paradigm that exists totally 00:01:09.796 --> 00:01:12.347 outside of mainstream education. 00:01:12.347 --> 00:01:14.262 And today I wanted to share with you 00:01:14.262 --> 00:01:16.253 6 of the main reasons that we do it. 00:01:16.253 --> 00:01:18.109 There's actually loads and loads, but 00:01:18.109 --> 00:01:19.966 I've tried to distill them into 6. 00:01:19.966 --> 00:01:22.034 When we became parents, one of the main 00:01:22.034 --> 00:01:23.936 things we wanted to do is to provide an 00:01:23.936 --> 00:01:25.852 environment for our children where they 00:01:25.852 --> 00:01:28.387 could just blossom into who they were 00:01:28.387 --> 00:01:32.581 inside without any of our molding or 00:01:32.581 --> 00:01:34.528 shaping of them. I don't really think 00:01:34.528 --> 00:01:36.457 that that is the the job of the parents. 00:01:36.457 --> 00:01:39.289 I think the parents main role is to make 00:01:39.289 --> 00:01:42.190 space for this unique human that has been 00:01:42.190 --> 00:01:43.908 brought into their life. For us, 00:01:43.908 --> 00:01:46.726 unschooling is really an extension of that philosophy. 00:01:46.726 --> 00:01:49.111 We just want to support our children and 00:01:49.111 --> 00:01:51.495 the way they want to learn and what they 00:01:51.495 --> 00:01:53.580 want to learn. Without them feeling any 00:01:53.580 --> 00:01:56.880 need to conform to what we expect or what 00:01:56.880 --> 00:02:00.030 we think, arbitrarily, they should be learning. 00:02:00.030 --> 00:02:02.026 So, the number 1 reason is that we want 00:02:02.026 --> 00:02:04.601 our children to be able to learn in a way 00:02:04.601 --> 00:02:07.134 that is free from shame. So, you know, 00:02:07.134 --> 00:02:10.434 85% of adults have had an experience of 00:02:10.434 --> 00:02:13.339 shaming in their school years that so 00:02:13.339 --> 00:02:15.988 effected them that it impacts their adult life. 00:02:15.988 --> 00:02:19.841 That's 85%. That's a huge majority of people. 00:02:19.841 --> 00:02:22.129 And that's because mainstream education 00:02:22.129 --> 00:02:25.123 uses shame and punishment as a way to get 00:02:25.123 --> 00:02:28.294 such a massive group of kids learning what 00:02:28.294 --> 00:02:30.253 teachers think is important. Shame can 00:02:30.253 --> 00:02:33.009 have a pretty catastrophic impact on your 00:02:33.009 --> 00:02:35.394 ability to really be yourself. So we 00:02:35.394 --> 00:02:37.460 wanted to provide an environment where 00:02:37.460 --> 00:02:39.238 our kids didn't experience that. 00:02:39.238 --> 00:02:41.253 Even when they were learning in a way that 00:02:41.253 --> 00:02:43.452 seemed pretty random or messy (laughs), 00:02:43.452 --> 00:02:46.434 we could just make space for that 00:02:46.434 --> 00:02:48.596 learning and how they wanted to do it. 00:02:48.596 --> 00:02:50.252 I think because of the mainstream 00:02:50.252 --> 00:02:52.184 education system we've made shame and 00:02:52.184 --> 00:02:55.353 punishment quite an everyday part of the 00:02:55.353 --> 00:02:57.207 human experience. We've kind of 00:02:57.207 --> 00:02:59.739 normalized it and that has been done to 00:02:59.739 --> 00:03:02.188 the detriment of our ability to create a 00:03:02.188 --> 00:03:04.805 fair, just, and beautiful world. 00:03:04.805 --> 00:03:07.123 Okay, number 2. Unschooling is curiosity 00:03:07.123 --> 00:03:09.544 based learning. And we embrace that 00:03:09.544 --> 00:03:11.993 because all of the studies show that 00:03:11.993 --> 00:03:14.444 learning that is done where there is self 00:03:14.444 --> 00:03:17.212 motivation, or a kind of seed of curiosity 00:03:17.212 --> 00:03:20.297 is one, much more effective for learning 00:03:20.297 --> 00:03:22.382 the actual thing that you are trying to 00:03:22.382 --> 00:03:24.715 pick up, but also activates parts of your 00:03:24.715 --> 00:03:26.915 brain that makes it easier for you to 00:03:26.915 --> 00:03:29.601 learn anything that is coming up while 00:03:29.601 --> 00:03:32.735 you are in that state. Also, thirdly, 00:03:32.735 --> 00:03:35.702 studies show that curiosity allows 00:03:35.702 --> 00:03:38.586 learning to be stored in your memory. 00:03:38.586 --> 00:03:40.555 So, the learning when you are curious is 00:03:40.555 --> 00:03:41.938 like a long term thing. 00:03:41.938 --> 00:03:43.809 I can imagine that quite a lot of you 00:03:43.809 --> 00:03:45.767 watching understand that on some level, 00:03:45.767 --> 00:03:47.743 because how much of your schooling do you 00:03:47.743 --> 00:03:49.191 actually remember? 00:03:49.191 --> 00:03:51.376 For me, it is very little. I am a writer 00:03:51.376 --> 00:03:53.547 and I have to google the difference 00:03:53.547 --> 00:03:55.561 between noun and adjective (laughs) 00:03:55.561 --> 00:03:57.094 on quite a regular basis. 00:03:57.094 --> 00:03:58.995 The 3rd reason that we are unschoolers 00:03:58.995 --> 00:04:01.013 is because we want to create a learning 00:04:01.013 --> 00:04:02.911 environment that's totally stress free. 00:04:02.911 --> 00:04:04.881 Just like learning without curiosity, 00:04:04.881 --> 00:04:06.949 learning in a stressful environment is 00:04:06.949 --> 00:04:09.381 such a waste of time. Stress has a huge 00:04:09.381 --> 00:04:12.001 impact on your amygdala, which essentially 00:04:12.001 --> 00:04:14.718 ends up sending information to the wrong 00:04:14.718 --> 00:04:16.648 part of your brain, not to your higher 00:04:16.648 --> 00:04:19.053 brain where you can rationally look at the 00:04:19.053 --> 00:04:21.148 information and create a learning journey. 00:04:21.148 --> 00:04:22.959 But it sends it down to the fight or 00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:24.975 flight zone when you are in stress, so 00:04:24.975 --> 00:04:26.922 your brain actually doesn't know what to 00:04:26.922 --> 00:04:29.790 do with information when you are in a stressful state. 00:04:29.790 --> 00:04:31.578 There are some statistics about this, 00:04:31.578 --> 00:04:35.127 saying that 65% of 12 year old school 00:04:35.127 --> 00:04:37.666 children are stressed because of their 00:04:37.666 --> 00:04:39.844 school environment. Obviously, that has 00:04:39.844 --> 00:04:41.862 a massive impact on what they are actually 00:04:41.862 --> 00:04:43.645 taking in, what information they are 00:04:43.645 --> 00:04:46.136 actually taking in while they are in the classroom. 00:04:46.136 --> 00:04:48.028 But also, huge impacts on their mental 00:04:48.028 --> 00:04:49.718 health and their physical health. 00:04:49.718 --> 00:04:51.417 I just think that trying to raise 00:04:51.417 --> 00:04:53.166 children in a constantly stressful 00:04:53.166 --> 00:04:55.083 environment, because of testing and 00:04:55.083 --> 00:04:57.235 competition, because of shame and 00:04:57.235 --> 00:05:00.068 punishment, is just a super unhealthy thing. 00:05:00.068 --> 00:05:01.987 So, a typical day of unschooling might 00:05:01.987 --> 00:05:04.537 involve us hanging around here. It often 00:05:04.537 --> 00:05:06.856 involves us meeting up with friends and 00:05:06.856 --> 00:05:09.373 doing different unschooling groups and 00:05:09.373 --> 00:05:12.594 exploring the wild. It's always fun. 00:05:12.594 --> 00:05:14.404 There might be conflict, but there is 00:05:14.404 --> 00:05:16.261 space to figure out the conflicts so it 00:05:16.261 --> 00:05:19.125 doesn't become a genuinely toxic or 00:05:19.125 --> 00:05:21.528 stressful scenario. We're joy seekers 00:05:21.528 --> 00:05:24.040 rather than stressed out learners. 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:25.944 4, we are unschooling because we believe 00:05:25.944 --> 00:05:28.232 that you are learning all of the time. 00:05:28.232 --> 00:05:30.003 Learning doesn't begin at 5 and ends 00:05:30.003 --> 00:05:32.164 at 18 when you leave formal education 00:05:32.164 --> 00:05:34.449 But most parents get this, right? 00:05:34.449 --> 00:05:37.115 You don't try to teach your child to walk 00:05:37.115 --> 00:05:39.400 or talk, you just know that they're going to 00:05:39.400 --> 00:05:42.078 pick those things up by being in a walky, talky 00:05:42.078 --> 00:05:44.568 kind of environment. And we just believe 00:05:44.568 --> 00:05:47.053 that that continues on. Nothing needs to 00:05:47.053 --> 00:05:50.222 change when they turn a certain age. 00:05:50.222 --> 00:05:52.422 Our kids are 7 and 9 now, and they are 00:05:52.422 --> 00:05:56.043 reading, writing, doing art, creating, 00:05:56.043 --> 00:05:59.042 making things, doing heaps of math, 00:05:59.042 --> 00:06:01.591 like genuine love of math. And they are 00:06:01.591 --> 00:06:04.078 just doing it by living. There has never 00:06:04.078 --> 00:06:07.478 been a sit down, formal class for my children. 00:06:07.478 --> 00:06:09.728 They always just learn through their 00:06:09.728 --> 00:06:11.777 experience of being human. And, actually, 00:06:11.777 --> 00:06:14.015 as adults we do this all the time. If we 00:06:14.015 --> 00:06:16.230 want to learn something new as an adult 00:06:16.230 --> 00:06:18.283 we will just find a way to access it. 00:06:18.283 --> 00:06:21.101 In the last few years I have taught myself 00:06:21.101 --> 00:06:23.036 how to play the ukulele, I've taught 00:06:23.036 --> 00:06:25.428 myself how to make electronic digital 00:06:25.428 --> 00:06:27.501 music (laughs). I've built a business. 00:06:27.501 --> 00:06:29.478 I've done absolutely loads of things like 00:06:29.478 --> 00:06:32.503 moving almost into mastery of some of those things 00:06:32.503 --> 00:06:34.958 simply by accessing the resources that 00:06:34.958 --> 00:06:36.897 will help me. Even doctors do this when 00:06:36.897 --> 00:06:38.905 they get presented with a case that they 00:06:38.905 --> 00:06:40.629 don't really know what's going on. 00:06:40.629 --> 00:06:42.493 They might ring some colleagues, they 00:06:42.493 --> 00:06:44.592 might look up online, or delve into their 00:06:44.592 --> 00:06:47.527 books in order to get to the bottom this 00:06:47.527 --> 00:06:49.547 new illness or this new case. 00:06:49.547 --> 00:06:52.631 That is really essentially unschooling. 00:06:52.631 --> 00:06:54.463 It's learning through doing. 00:06:54.463 --> 00:06:56.449 The 5th reason we are unschooling is 00:06:56.449 --> 00:06:58.866 because we just trust our children and we 00:06:58.866 --> 00:07:01.099 want them to learn that they can trust 00:07:01.099 --> 00:07:03.051 themselves. Our children know that their 00:07:03.051 --> 00:07:06.270 instincts are good, that their urges are 00:07:06.270 --> 00:07:08.551 good, that their needs are valuable. 00:07:08.551 --> 00:07:11.422 Whereas I think mainstream education can 00:07:11.422 --> 00:07:13.692 really undermine a child's trust in 00:07:13.692 --> 00:07:15.755 themselves. They're told to learn this in 00:07:15.755 --> 00:07:17.651 this moment, and then a bell rings and 00:07:17.651 --> 00:07:19.790 they're told to switch their mind over to 00:07:19.790 --> 00:07:21.593 the new thing and learn that thing. 00:07:21.593 --> 00:07:23.432 They're told to mistrust their body's 00:07:23.432 --> 00:07:25.218 desire to move when it wants to move. 00:07:25.218 --> 00:07:27.215 We even ask children, through schooling, 00:07:27.215 --> 00:07:31.312 to trespass on their own boundaries, both 00:07:31.312 --> 00:07:33.228 mentally and physically, quite a lot 00:07:33.228 --> 00:07:35.263 through mainstream education. And through 00:07:35.263 --> 00:07:37.172 unschooling we kind of do the opposite 00:07:37.172 --> 00:07:39.211 of this. We say, what you are feeling is 00:07:39.211 --> 00:07:41.245 good, your needs are good, I trust you and 00:07:41.245 --> 00:07:43.200 you can trust yourself. 00:07:43.200 --> 00:07:44.955 And that leads me to the 6th reason 00:07:44.955 --> 00:07:46.824 that we are unschooling and that's all 00:07:46.824 --> 00:07:48.774 about world change. When i first began 00:07:48.774 --> 00:07:50.508 this whole unschooling thing I just 00:07:50.508 --> 00:07:52.514 thought, ya we're doing this because this 00:07:52.514 --> 00:07:54.565 is what works for our family and this is 00:07:54.565 --> 00:07:56.504 the path we've been called to. But the 00:07:56.504 --> 00:07:58.639 more that I'm immersed in this world, 00:07:58.639 --> 00:08:00.541 I've actually come to believe that 00:08:00.541 --> 00:08:02.807 unschooling and other forms of alternative 00:08:02.807 --> 00:08:05.393 education are really the embodiment of 00:08:05.393 --> 00:08:07.961 the just and peaceful, loving world that 00:08:07.961 --> 00:08:10.194 I think is possible. I believe that 00:08:10.194 --> 00:08:12.594 mainstream education, as it stands, with 00:08:12.594 --> 00:08:15.330 it's shame, punishment, testing, 00:08:15.330 --> 00:08:17.748 competitive nature...you know, ranking 00:08:17.748 --> 00:08:19.748 kids against each other...I believe that 00:08:19.748 --> 00:08:22.215 is like the seedbed of some of society's 00:08:22.215 --> 00:08:24.948 most problematic issues. We're coming 00:08:24.948 --> 00:08:26.780 into this understanding that we are 00:08:26.780 --> 00:08:28.718 actually not born competitive. 00:08:28.718 --> 00:08:31.303 We're born cooperative, that's our human 00:08:31.303 --> 00:08:33.218 nature, I really believe that. I think 00:08:33.218 --> 00:08:35.603 through the schooling system we pit kids 00:08:35.603 --> 00:08:38.122 against each other and that bleeds into 00:08:38.122 --> 00:08:40.723 the rest of society. There's almost like 00:08:40.723 --> 00:08:43.207 a collective societal wound from our 00:08:43.207 --> 00:08:45.635 school days and it makes itself known in 00:08:45.635 --> 00:08:47.608 individuals in a different way. So, some 00:08:47.608 --> 00:08:50.143 people are people pleasers, some people 00:08:50.143 --> 00:08:52.643 are afraid of authority or afraid to rock 00:08:52.643 --> 00:08:54.860 the boat. A lot of people feel that they 00:08:54.860 --> 00:08:57.477 are just not intrinsically good enough. 00:08:57.477 --> 00:08:59.863 A lot of people struggle to rest and play. 00:08:59.863 --> 00:09:01.964 This is all stuff that we learn through 00:09:01.964 --> 00:09:04.063 our schooling years, when we are being 00:09:04.063 --> 00:09:06.099 shunted from one activity to the other 00:09:06.099 --> 00:09:08.285 with our minds placed in somebody elses' 00:09:08.285 --> 00:09:10.201 hands. These days I tend to think that 00:09:10.201 --> 00:09:12.030 mainstream education is one of the 00:09:12.030 --> 00:09:13.546 strongholds of capitalism. 00:09:13.546 --> 00:09:15.216 Raising people who are so 00:09:15.216 --> 00:09:17.438 unhappy and mistrust themselves so 00:09:17.438 --> 00:09:19.754 much with so much mental anguish that we 00:09:19.754 --> 00:09:22.474 have to consume and fight in order to 00:09:22.474 --> 00:09:24.738 feel okay. Oooh, got a little bit heavy 00:09:24.738 --> 00:09:26.690 there (laughs). But for me, that makes 00:09:26.690 --> 00:09:28.712 sense, when you place children for 15, 00:09:28.712 --> 00:09:32.842 or more, of their formative years into an 00:09:32.842 --> 00:09:35.109 institution that's kind of what you get. 00:09:35.109 --> 00:09:36.970 Those are 6 of the reasons that we've 00:09:36.970 --> 00:09:38.879 chosen unschooling. I'm super happy to 00:09:38.879 --> 00:09:40.919 answer any questions that you have and the 00:09:40.919 --> 00:09:42.987 unschooling world is very friendly, so if 00:09:42.987 --> 00:09:44.877 you want to jump on board this ship we 00:09:44.877 --> 00:09:46.575 would welcome you with open arms. 00:09:46.575 --> 00:09:48.572 That sounds a bit weird and cult-y, it's 00:09:48.572 --> 00:09:50.496 not really like that. There's too much 00:09:50.496 --> 00:09:52.337 anarchy for it to be cult-y. (laughs) 00:09:52.337 --> 00:09:54.373 Rob: I hope that you got a lot out of that 00:09:54.373 --> 00:09:56.469 time with Lucy. If you did, make sure to 00:09:56.469 --> 00:09:58.604 subscribe to her channel where she shares 00:09:58.604 --> 00:10:01.204 a lot of valuable information on teaching 00:10:01.204 --> 00:10:03.571 children in a home setting. 00:10:03.571 --> 00:10:05.287 And make sure to subscribe to this 00:10:05.287 --> 00:10:08.423 channel, as well, for a lot more great videos to come. 00:10:08.423 --> 00:10:11.861 I love you all very much and see you again real soon!