1
00:00:47,508 --> 00:00:50,138
But you weren't really
that funny or snappy in reality,

2
00:00:50,138 --> 00:00:52,298
you only thought
of comebacks on the way home,

3
00:00:52,298 --> 00:00:53,948
but she doesn't need to know that.

4
00:00:53,948 --> 00:00:56,608
She's on her third martini,
she's ready to go.

5
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:15,052
Good afternoon, everything all good?

6
00:00:15,052 --> 00:00:15,872
(Audience) Yeah!

7
00:00:15,872 --> 00:00:16,958
Lovely.

8
00:00:16,958 --> 00:00:20,028
We're all storytellers
at different points in our lives.

9
00:00:20,028 --> 00:00:23,124
We've all told stories in different ways
in different scenarios.

10
00:00:23,464 --> 00:00:26,696
Whether you've been a parent
telling a child a bed time story

11
00:00:26,738 --> 00:00:28,789
in a desperate bid
to make them go to sleep,

12
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,579
whether you've been
a friend telling a friend

13
00:00:31,579 --> 00:00:33,965
about another friend's
drunken antic at the weekend

14
00:00:33,965 --> 00:00:36,255
to make yourself seem
slightly less embarrassed.

15
00:00:36,255 --> 00:00:38,625
Or whether you've been
at a party telling a story

16
00:00:38,625 --> 00:00:41,195
to try and impress
the red-head in the corner

17
00:00:41,195 --> 00:00:44,968
and you regale a tale about this time
you were very witty and snappy,

18
00:00:44,968 --> 00:00:47,508
and this verbal encounter
you had with another person.

19
00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:58,878
We all tell stories
in different ways as well.

20
00:00:58,938 --> 00:01:01,838
When my dad tells stories
he's straight to the point.

21
00:01:01,838 --> 00:01:03,409
It's all the facts, no thrills.

22
00:01:03,409 --> 00:01:05,719
This happened, this happened
then this happened,

23
00:01:05,719 --> 00:01:06,878
therefore this happened.

24
00:01:06,878 --> 00:01:08,071
Moral of this story is:

25
00:01:08,071 --> 00:01:11,131
Don't drink tequila with your mother
otherwise you happen.

26
00:01:11,131 --> 00:01:12,621
(Laugh)

27
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:17,901
When my mum tells a story,
she likes to have all the extra details,

28
00:01:17,901 --> 00:01:20,490
all the back stories,
all the character biographies

29
00:01:20,490 --> 00:01:23,640
and by the end, it's been like
a nine-hour version of Inception.

30
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,130
You're not sure what's happened

31
00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:28,460
you just know apparently someone
your mum works with is a bit of a cow.

32
00:01:28,460 --> 00:01:30,660
(Laugh)

33
00:01:31,010 --> 00:01:32,840
When my grandparents tell stories

34
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,500
they tell stories
the way old people tell stories.

35
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,780
They're very humble, don't like to brag.

36
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:40,500
It's always stuffs like: "Oh,
and then I got my medal

37
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,587
from Winston Churchill

38
00:01:41,587 --> 00:01:44,994
for saving all those orphans,
but enough about me, how's school?

39
00:01:45,044 --> 00:01:46,534
Children are the opposite.


40
00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:49,544
When my brothers tell stories,
they do the thing all children do

41
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:52,015
which is they have so much
enthusiasm and excitement

42
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:55,655
that they promise a story that's never
going to live up to your expectations.

43
00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:58,501
"And then what happened?"
"And then we went outside."

44
00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:00,835
"And then what happened?"
"Then Matthew was here."

45
00:02:00,835 --> 00:02:02,705
"Then what happened?"
"Then he farted."

46
00:02:02,705 --> 00:02:03,405
"Great."

47
00:02:03,405 --> 00:02:05,264
90% of stories
my brothers have told me

48
00:02:05,264 --> 00:02:07,854
has always ended with
an unpleasant bodily function.

49
00:02:08,464 --> 00:02:10,578
Everyone is a storyteller,
even in the media:

50
00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:14,248
television, newspapers, tabloids,
podcasts, music, artists.

51
00:02:14,248 --> 00:02:16,488
Everything's a different way
of telling a story.

52
00:02:16,488 --> 00:02:18,158
I tell stories differently as well.

53
00:02:18,158 --> 00:02:18,918
I'm a comedian.

54
00:02:19,218 --> 00:02:22,805
I tell stories that are punchy, jokey,
all the way through in order to keep

55
00:02:22,805 --> 00:02:26,635
an audiences ever-shortening
attention span solely focus on me.

56
00:02:27,085 --> 00:02:29,380
I tell true stories,
I tell exaggerated stories,

57
00:02:29,380 --> 00:02:32,910
I tell stories that are completely
and utterly made up. Total lies.

58
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:36,010
Like, I'll have been sitting
with my friends, having a drink,

59
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,970
and one of them'll say something like:

60
00:02:37,970 --> 00:02:40,050
"Ah, wouldn't it be funny
if this happened?"

61
00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:41,644
And I'll think to myself:

62
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,314
"Yeah, that would be funny."

63
00:02:43,314 --> 00:02:46,868
And then I shamelessly
take it down in my iPhone.

64
00:02:46,868 --> 00:02:50,588
Take it home. Write out. And somehow
integrate myself into this story

65
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:51,772
so I'd become a hero,

66
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,662
so I can then go out on stage

67
00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:55,445
in front of a room full of strangers,

68
00:02:55,445 --> 00:02:57,682
in a desperate bid to get them to like me.

69
00:02:57,682 --> 00:02:58,422
(Chuckle)

70
00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:00,092
Because that's all a comedian is.

71
00:03:00,282 --> 00:03:01,738
We're desperate storytellers.

72
00:03:01,738 --> 00:03:04,668
All we do is go out to a room
full of people we've never met

73
00:03:04,668 --> 00:03:06,648
and beg them to like us.

74
00:03:06,858 --> 00:03:10,404
So at any point you're wondering
why I agreed to do this talk,

75
00:03:10,951 --> 00:03:11,951
that's why.

76
00:03:11,951 --> 00:03:13,372
(Laughter)

77
00:03:13,372 --> 00:03:14,862
And also because my mum told me

78
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,292
that if I turn down
the opportunity to do a TEDTalk,

79
00:03:17,292 --> 00:03:18,672
she'd put me up for adoption.

80
00:03:19,536 --> 00:03:21,726
I'm 22 years old,
I don't know how do that,

81
00:03:21,726 --> 00:03:24,556
but it's best not to argue with her
when she's been drinking

82
00:03:24,556 --> 00:03:25,936
You see that?

83
00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:28,376
That was a perfect example.
I made that entirely up,

84
00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:31,503
just so half of you went: "Ha"

85
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:34,303
(Laughter)

86
00:03:34,303 --> 00:03:37,533
I was willing to fabricate
a story about my mother

87
00:03:37,533 --> 00:03:40,233
being an alcoholic
with an emotional problem

88
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:42,573
who was willing to disown me
as a human being

89
00:03:45,694 --> 00:03:48,384
(Laughter)

90
00:03:42,573 --> 00:03:45,694
just so 50 of you went: "Very good."

91
00:03:48,384 --> 00:03:50,914
That's what I mean by
"desperate storyteller".

92
00:03:51,126 --> 00:03:53,602
And the thing is we're
the only storytellers, though,

93
00:03:53,602 --> 00:03:55,712
that really get in trouble
for our stories.

94
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,602
Every few weeks there is
something in the newspaper

95
00:03:58,602 --> 00:04:01,470
about this comedian
that said something awful or offensive

96
00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:03,640
that's offended one member of the audience

97
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:06,350
who, by the way,
nine times out of ten, is an idiot.

98
00:04:06,744 --> 00:04:09,484
And then they talk about it
on the news and everything.

99
00:04:09,484 --> 00:04:13,344
They get scientists and doctors
to come on and analyse the joke,

100
00:04:13,426 --> 00:04:17,066
interview the traumatized audience member,
and then they all sit down

101
00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:19,266
and discuss, at length, a joke

102
00:04:19,266 --> 00:04:21,886
which lasted one minute
in an hour-long set

103
00:04:21,906 --> 00:04:23,317
and we all sit patiently

104
00:04:23,317 --> 00:04:26,597
and wait for the officials to tell us
whether we were offended or not.

105
00:04:26,597 --> 00:04:29,357
And then at the end of it,
they decide that we're offended.

106
00:04:29,357 --> 00:04:32,027
Perhaps the comedian
shouldn't talk about rape or murder,

107
00:04:32,027 --> 00:04:33,517
those sort of things on stage,

108
00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:35,703
that they shouldn't be
broadcast in a household

109
00:04:35,703 --> 00:04:37,783
and we all feel
quite good about ourselves.

110
00:04:37,783 --> 00:04:40,213
Then switch over
to Eastenders or True Blood

111
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:44,413
where there are scenes of murder,
sexual audacity, drug abuse,

112
00:04:44,413 --> 00:04:48,273
racially invoked crimes
and we all go: "This is amazing!"

113
00:04:48,494 --> 00:04:50,164
Why is it different?

114
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:53,134
How come when a comedian
says something as a joke,

115
00:04:53,134 --> 00:04:54,394
it's offensive?

116
00:04:54,394 --> 00:04:56,604
But when it's acted out in front of you,

117
00:04:56,604 --> 00:04:59,154
it's intriguing, it's a twist.

118
00:04:59,814 --> 00:05:03,124
Actors are never criticized
or abused for their roles in films.

119
00:05:03,592 --> 00:05:05,832
Nobody came out
of "Inglorious Bastards" going:

120
00:05:05,832 --> 00:05:09,312
"Oh, I can't believe Christopher Waltz
killed all those Jewish people.

121
00:05:09,312 --> 00:05:10,472
What an awful man!"

122
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:13,682
Nobody came out Harry Potter 
thinking: "You know what?

123
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:15,282
I never trusted Snape.

124
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:18,804
Not since he had that awful German accent
and tried to kill John McClane.

125
00:05:18,804 --> 00:05:20,614
(Laughter)

126
00:05:20,614 --> 00:05:22,394
There you go.

127
00:05:22,954 --> 00:05:25,374
People don't get upset because
they know it's fake.

128
00:05:25,374 --> 00:05:28,264
They know the actors on stage
are just portraying characters.

129
00:05:28,544 --> 00:05:29,864
So are comedians.

130
00:05:29,864 --> 00:05:30,587
That's our job,

131
00:05:30,587 --> 00:05:32,537
We're storytellers but we're also so vain

132
00:05:32,537 --> 00:05:34,630
that we like to put ourselves
in the stories.

133
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:37,570
We're the writers, directors,
and stars of our own show

134
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:40,853
where we're just playing
an exaggerated parody of ourselves.

135
00:05:40,853 --> 00:05:42,953
Because we're not going
to be ourselves onstage.

136
00:05:42,953 --> 00:05:46,243
We might play a version of ourselves.
But we can't be our true selves.

137
00:05:46,243 --> 00:05:49,423
If we were to come on stage
and talk to you about our real opinions

138
00:05:49,423 --> 00:05:53,113
with balanced, thought-through points,
we wouldn't be comedians,

139
00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:55,763
we would be politicians
and you'd hate us even more.

140
00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:56,795
Alright?

141
00:05:56,795 --> 00:05:59,862
When we come on stage, we have to
find ways to make you laugh

142
00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:01,782
and our way of doing that is to come out

143
00:06:01,782 --> 00:06:04,070
and say something
completely stupid and ludicrous

144
00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:04,958
to make you laugh.

145
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,856
Another method of doing it
is to take a completely, utterly,

146
00:06:07,856 --> 00:06:10,086
point that no one would agree with,

147
00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:12,096
something very obscure and blatantly wrong

148
00:06:12,096 --> 00:06:14,516
and find a way to twist it round

149
00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:16,506
and make it seem valid just for a second.

150
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,643
For example, if I were
to make the statement:

151
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:20,451
"I don't think children should smoke."

152
00:06:20,831 --> 00:06:23,069
Everyone in this room
would agree with it, yeah?

153
00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,357
But if i were to
come out on stage and say:

154
00:06:25,357 --> 00:06:27,996
"I think every child under the age of 13

155
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:31,206
should be forced to smoke
four packs of cigarettes a day

156
00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:33,172
because as my brothers are getting older,

157
00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:36,569
it turns out they're very close
to being able to beat me in a foot race.

158
00:06:37,129 --> 00:06:39,326
That's a way of turning it around.

159
00:06:39,326 --> 00:06:41,726
You're not laughing me
trying to kill my brothers.

160
00:06:41,726 --> 00:06:45,626
You're laughing at me for being an idiot
for thinking that's a good idea. OK?

161
00:06:45,736 --> 00:06:47,546
And that's what we do with our comedy.

162
00:06:47,546 --> 00:06:50,323
We're playing stupid versions 
of ourselves. For example,

163
00:06:50,323 --> 00:06:53,433
if Ricky Gervais, Frankie Boyle,
or Jimmy Carr

164
00:06:53,433 --> 00:06:55,113
were actually as big as

165
00:06:55,113 --> 00:06:57,943
the bigoted, racist, fascist,
homophobic, sexists

166
00:06:57,943 --> 00:06:59,983
that the Daily Mail made them out to be,

167
00:06:59,983 --> 00:07:02,503
they would probably end up
working for the Daily Mail.

168
00:07:02,503 --> 00:07:04,383
(Laughter)

169
00:07:05,273 --> 00:07:08,193
They're making the stuff up
to get that reaction from you.

170
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:11,913
The reason I mentioned those names -
Frankie Boyle, Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr -

171
00:07:11,913 --> 00:07:14,993
is they're the names commonly
associated with "offensive comedy."

172
00:07:14,993 --> 00:07:17,713
The reason I put offensive comedy
in inverted commas there

173
00:07:17,713 --> 00:07:19,283
isn't because I'm young and hip,

174
00:07:19,283 --> 00:07:23,163
it's because, basically, I don't really
get the term "offensive comedy."

175
00:07:23,597 --> 00:07:26,307
No comedian wants to offend you,
that's not our job.

176
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,417
Our job is to make you laugh,

177
00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:29,617
make you think,

178
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,907
make you smile,
make you want to sleep with us

179
00:07:31,915 --> 00:07:35,025
so that our night in that hotel room
is slightly less depressing.

180
00:07:35,025 --> 00:07:36,138
(Laughter)

181
00:07:36,138 --> 00:07:38,677
Not to upset you in any way, shape, form.

182
00:07:38,677 --> 00:07:42,717
Because, the thing about it is
when comedians are telling these stories,

183
00:07:42,717 --> 00:07:46,634
it's to get any form
of a reaction out of you.

184
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:48,974
And Jimmy Carr, famously,
was in trouble recently.

185
00:07:48,974 --> 00:07:51,072
He made a joke about the Paralympics.

186
00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:53,832
He made a joke that our troops
in Iraq were getting injured

187
00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:56,642
but at least that would make us have
a good Paralympic team.

188
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,225
And people went mental.

189
00:07:58,225 --> 00:08:00,219
People were so upset.

190
00:08:00,219 --> 00:08:04,119
If you were to believe the tabloids,
trains stopped on the track

191
00:08:04,159 --> 00:08:06,689
so that people could get off
in order to vomit

192
00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:09,029
at how disgusted they were by this joke.

193
00:08:09,029 --> 00:08:12,079
People killed themselves,
they were so disgusted by what he said.

194
00:08:12,079 --> 00:08:13,543
Alright? That's not the case.

195
00:08:13,543 --> 00:08:16,081
The only people who were not
offended by that joke?

196
00:08:16,081 --> 00:08:17,311
The war veterans,

197
00:08:17,311 --> 00:08:19,736
who found it hysterical.

198
00:08:19,736 --> 00:08:22,706
They thought it was great.
They repeated to each other.

199
00:08:22,706 --> 00:08:25,326
So if they weren't offended by that joke,

200
00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:27,500
who's got the right to be offended?

201
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:30,897
People have developed
an amazing new ability recently.

202
00:08:30,897 --> 00:08:34,480
People can be offended
on behalf of other people.

203
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,320
You can't be offended
on behalf of someone.

204
00:08:37,415 --> 00:08:39,164
Feelings are non-transferable.

205
00:08:39,164 --> 00:08:42,214
You can't be a husband
standing beside a wife giving birth going:

206
00:08:42,214 --> 00:08:45,517
"Don't worry, honey.
I'm feeling pain on behalf of you."

207
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:48,127
She would beat you to death.

208
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:49,269
(Laughter)

209
00:08:49,269 --> 00:08:52,049
Nobody asks people
to be offended on behalf of them.

210
00:08:52,049 --> 00:08:52,889
They just did it.

211
00:08:52,889 --> 00:08:55,939
They jumped in front of a bullet
that was heading towards a tree.

212
00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:01,285
It's amazing.

213
00:09:01,285 --> 00:09:04,565
One of the other topics, one of the most
controversial ones last year,

214
00:08:56,119 --> 00:09:00,298
Alright? It was a blatantly stupid
sacrifice they never needed to make.

215
00:09:04,565 --> 00:09:05,725
was that Frankie Boyle

216
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,775
made his comment
about Katie Price and her family.

217
00:09:08,775 --> 00:09:12,515
Regardless of your opinions on the joke,
which everyone will be divided on,

218
00:09:12,515 --> 00:09:14,799
don't pay that in context,
you have to understand

219
00:09:14,799 --> 00:09:16,489
that Frankie Boyle made those jokes

220
00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:18,749
about Katie Price.

221
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,859
Not to her.

222
00:09:20,234 --> 00:09:21,164
About her.

223
00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:24,282
He made that joke onstage
in front of a room full of people

224
00:09:24,282 --> 00:09:27,172
who were fully expecting him
to make that sort of comment.

225
00:09:27,172 --> 00:09:30,062
It wasn't until the newspapers
phoned up Katie Price

226
00:09:30,062 --> 00:09:32,962
and repeated that joke to her
several times

227
00:09:32,962 --> 00:09:34,832
in order to get a reaction.

228
00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:36,639
That's when she knew about it.

229
00:09:36,759 --> 00:09:37,929
I am fully aware

230
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:40,469
that there are many people
out there in the world

231
00:09:40,489 --> 00:09:42,059
who don't like me,

232
00:09:42,299 --> 00:09:44,529
who say mean things about me everyday,

233
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,269
but I'd rather not know.

234
00:09:46,646 --> 00:09:47,356
OK?

235
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:51,316
If you came up to me and you told me that
there was a man I'd never met before

236
00:09:51,316 --> 00:09:53,206
who was saying horrible things about me

237
00:09:53,206 --> 00:09:56,916
and you then listed the awful things
he said about me to my face,

238
00:09:57,421 --> 00:09:58,821
you're the bad guy.

239
00:09:59,291 --> 00:10:02,132
That person has the right to say
whatever he wants about me.

240
00:10:02,132 --> 00:10:05,392
I've never met him but he can say
what he wants, that's his right.

241
00:10:05,392 --> 00:10:08,070
It wasn't until you told me
that I knew it was going on.

242
00:10:08,070 --> 00:10:10,028
You've turned it into a personal attack.

243
00:10:10,528 --> 00:10:12,588
Mostly when comedians
are making jokes about

244
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these celebrities and celebrity culture,

245
00:10:14,502 --> 00:10:17,062
it's no different from stuff
you hear from friends.

246
00:10:17,062 --> 00:10:19,144
The banter we have
every day with our mates

247
00:10:19,144 --> 00:10:22,581
about some celebrity on television
that we don't particularly like.

248
00:10:23,130 --> 00:10:25,220
Are you trying to suggest
that celebrities

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00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:27,741
don't know they're ridiculed
by the general public?

250
00:10:27,857 --> 00:10:29,817
That Katie Price thinks
that Frankie Boyle

251
00:10:29,817 --> 00:10:33,217
is the only comedian that
doesn't respect her life choices?

252
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,839
No, of course.

253
00:10:34,839 --> 00:10:37,719
We're just individuals,
willing to risk going onstage, saying

254
00:10:37,719 --> 00:10:40,559
what everyone else down
the pub is saying on a Friday night.

255
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,989
It seems the general public can say
whatever they want about celebrities

256
00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:45,919
but comedians can't, and that's hypocrisy.

257
00:10:46,205 --> 00:10:47,315
That's not fair.

258
00:10:47,611 --> 00:10:49,981
There is a market for shock comedy.

259
00:10:50,161 --> 00:10:51,671
A huge market, OK?

260
00:10:51,890 --> 00:10:55,440
But there's also a market for
legging sadomasochism and Justin Bieber.

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00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,894
All arguably more offensive
than anything anyone's ever said.

262
00:10:59,124 --> 00:11:02,502
I'm not trying to say that you
shouldn't be offended or upset by things.

263
00:11:02,502 --> 00:11:05,948
I'm in no position to tell you
what should or shouldn't upset you.

264
00:11:06,119 --> 00:11:08,439
That is your right
to react however you want

265
00:11:08,996 --> 00:11:09,756
But,

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00:11:09,895 --> 00:11:11,755
we comedians also have a right;

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a right to say whatever we want
to make our audience laugh

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and get the reaction that we want.

269
00:11:16,455 --> 00:11:18,455
We're fortunate enough
to live in a society

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where there is loads of comedy nowadays.

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Comedy's bigger than it's ever been.

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So if you don't like one style of comedy,
you can go see another one.

273
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Everything's catered for.

274
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:30,576
But we should be allowed to do
whatever makes our audience laugh.

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Not people that weren't there,

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the audience that paid to come see us,
that traveled around the world

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and countries sometimes to come
and see us do what we do

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without having to worry that
there's someone in the audience

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00:11:40,884 --> 00:11:44,494
who might take one of our jokes
out of context and then repeat it.

280
00:11:44,644 --> 00:11:47,474
Because most of the time
the jokes are taken out of context.

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You know, you're only given
the brutal punchline.

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You're only told the joke
by a news presenter

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00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:54,654
with her sour face just repeating it.

284
00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:56,325
That's not how it was delivered.

285
00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:57,765
You're not given the context,

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00:11:57,765 --> 00:11:59,055
you're not given the setup,

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00:11:59,055 --> 00:12:00,585
you're not given the atmosphere,

288
00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:02,635
you're not even given
the audience reaction.

289
00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:06,345
And that's not fair. You don't take other
storyteller's stories out of context.

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00:12:06,345 --> 00:12:08,675
If I were to tell you 
when I was five years old,

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00:12:08,675 --> 00:12:11,527
my dad would tell my a story
about a mass murderer

292
00:12:11,527 --> 00:12:13,997
who would disguise himself
as a close relative

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in order to get close to a young girl
so that he could have his way with her,

294
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:20,887
and just before he managed to do that,
he was brutally murdered.

295
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:23,257
Everyone would agree that
my dad's a dreadful man.

296
00:12:23,888 --> 00:12:24,898
But if i point out

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00:12:24,898 --> 00:12:28,018
that that's the basic story line
for 'Little Red Riding Hood,'

298
00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:31,383
a lot less people are phoning
child services. OK?

299
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,963
You know how it was intended
to be delivered and you expected that way.

300
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:35,693
Alright?

301
00:12:35,952 --> 00:12:39,052
A story is just a story,
and a joke is just a joke.

302
00:12:39,646 --> 00:12:43,006
You knew the stories that you heard
as a kid weren't true. Right?

303
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:46,236
There was no monster under the bed,
no Boogie Man in the corner.

304
00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:48,526
Your granddad wasn't really
ripping off his thumb

305
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:50,806
and taking the pain exceptionally well.

306
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,479
He was just doing it.

307
00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:55,429
Please apply the same logic
to our stories.

308
00:12:55,429 --> 00:12:57,449
We're saying these jokes as jokes.

309
00:12:57,449 --> 00:13:01,121
There's very rarely
malicious intent behind it.

310
00:13:01,451 --> 00:13:05,141
There may not be jokes that you like,
but what we're doing is taking a concept

311
00:13:05,141 --> 00:13:06,441
and we're exaggerating it,

312
00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:07,551
lying about it,

313
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,091
turning it in such a way
you weren't expecting it.

314
00:13:10,091 --> 00:13:12,841
And sometimes, we turn it in a way
that you don't like.

315
00:13:12,841 --> 00:13:14,331
But that's your problem.

316
00:13:14,331 --> 00:13:16,151
The world doesn't revolve around you.

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00:13:16,151 --> 00:13:16,891
Ignore it.

318
00:13:16,891 --> 00:13:17,631
Move on.

319
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:18,891
Forget about it.

320
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:19,766
Alright?

321
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:23,016
You seem to assume that comedians
haven't gone through any hardships.

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00:13:23,016 --> 00:13:26,946
Whereas most of the time it's a hardship
that's caused us to get into comedy.

323
00:13:26,946 --> 00:13:29,986
Our reaction to our hardships
was to make light of the situation

324
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:32,516
and get over it, as opposed to
going round the country

325
00:13:32,516 --> 00:13:36,153
making sure that nobody ever mentions
it ever again to hurt my delicate soul.

326
00:13:36,153 --> 00:13:38,783
So that's my point,
that's the point I'm trying to make.

327
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:41,703
If at any point you've [dis]agreed
with anything I've said,

328
00:13:41,703 --> 00:13:44,082
don't worry, it was just
a story, I made it all up.

329
00:13:44,082 --> 00:13:45,012
Thank you very much

330
00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:48,842
(Applause)