0:00:47.508,0:00:50.138
But you weren't really[br]that funny or snappy in reality,

0:00:50.138,0:00:52.298
you only thought[br]of comebacks on the way home,

0:00:52.298,0:00:53.948
but she doesn't need to know that.

0:00:53.948,0:00:56.608
She's on her third martini,[br]she's ready to go.

0:00:13.220,0:00:15.052
Good afternoon, everything all good?

0:00:15.052,0:00:15.872
(Audience) Yeah!

0:00:15.872,0:00:16.958
Lovely.

0:00:16.958,0:00:20.028
We're all storytellers[br]at different points in our lives.

0:00:20.028,0:00:23.124
We've all told stories in different ways[br]in different scenarios.

0:00:23.464,0:00:26.696
Whether you've been a parent[br]telling a child a bed time story

0:00:26.738,0:00:28.789
in a desperate bid[br]to make them go to sleep,

0:00:29.429,0:00:31.579
whether you've been[br]a friend telling a friend

0:00:31.579,0:00:33.965
about another friend's[br]drunken antic at the weekend

0:00:33.965,0:00:36.255
to make yourself seem[br]slightly less embarrassed.

0:00:36.255,0:00:38.625
Or whether you've been[br]at a party telling a story

0:00:38.625,0:00:41.195
to try and impress[br]the red-head in the corner

0:00:41.195,0:00:44.968
and you regale a tale about this time[br]you were very witty and snappy,

0:00:44.968,0:00:47.508
and this verbal encounter[br]you had with another person.

0:00:56.608,0:00:58.878
We all tell stories[br]in different ways as well.

0:00:58.938,0:01:01.838
When my dad tells stories[br]he's straight to the point.

0:01:01.838,0:01:03.409
It's all the facts, no thrills.

0:01:03.409,0:01:05.719
This happened, this happened[br]then this happened,

0:01:05.719,0:01:06.878
therefore this happened.

0:01:06.878,0:01:08.071
Moral of this story is:

0:01:08.071,0:01:11.131
Don't drink tequila with your mother[br]otherwise you happen.

0:01:11.131,0:01:12.621
(Laugh)

0:01:12.901,0:01:17.901
When my mum tells a story,[br]she likes to have all the extra details,

0:01:17.901,0:01:20.490
all the back stories,[br]all the character biographies

0:01:20.490,0:01:23.640
and by the end, it's been like[br]a nine-hour version of Inception.

0:01:23.640,0:01:25.130
You're not sure what's happened

0:01:25.130,0:01:28.460
you just know apparently someone[br]your mum works with is a bit of a cow.

0:01:28.460,0:01:30.660
(Laugh)

0:01:31.010,0:01:32.840
When my grandparents tell stories

0:01:32.840,0:01:35.500
they tell stories[br]the way old people tell stories.

0:01:35.830,0:01:37.780
They're very humble, don't like to brag.

0:01:37.780,0:01:40.500
It's always stuffs like: "Oh,[br]and then I got my medal

0:01:40.500,0:01:41.587
from Winston Churchill

0:01:41.587,0:01:44.994
for saving all those orphans,[br]but enough about me, how's school?

0:01:45.044,0:01:46.534
Children are the opposite.[br]

0:01:46.534,0:01:49.544
When my brothers tell stories,[br]they do the thing all children do

0:01:49.544,0:01:52.015
which is they have so much[br]enthusiasm and excitement

0:01:52.015,0:01:55.655
that they promise a story that's never[br]going to live up to your expectations.

0:01:55.655,0:01:58.501
"And then what happened?"[br]"And then we went outside."

0:01:58.501,0:02:00.835
"And then what happened?"[br]"Then Matthew was here."

0:02:00.835,0:02:02.705
"Then what happened?"[br]"Then he farted."

0:02:02.705,0:02:03.405
"Great."

0:02:03.405,0:02:05.264
90% of stories[br]my brothers have told me

0:02:05.264,0:02:07.854
has always ended with[br]an unpleasant bodily function.

0:02:08.464,0:02:10.578
Everyone is a storyteller,[br]even in the media:

0:02:10.578,0:02:14.248
television, newspapers, tabloids,[br]podcasts, music, artists.

0:02:14.248,0:02:16.488
Everything's a different way[br]of telling a story.

0:02:16.488,0:02:18.158
I tell stories differently as well.

0:02:18.158,0:02:18.918
I'm a comedian.

0:02:19.218,0:02:22.805
I tell stories that are punchy, jokey,[br]all the way through in order to keep

0:02:22.805,0:02:26.635
an audiences ever-shortening[br]attention span solely focus on me.

0:02:27.085,0:02:29.380
I tell true stories,[br]I tell exaggerated stories,

0:02:29.380,0:02:32.910
I tell stories that are completely[br]and utterly made up. Total lies.

0:02:32.910,0:02:36.010
Like, I'll have been sitting[br]with my friends, having a drink,

0:02:36.010,0:02:37.970
and one of them'll say something like:

0:02:37.970,0:02:40.050
"Ah, wouldn't it be funny[br]if this happened?"

0:02:40.050,0:02:41.644
And I'll think to myself:

0:02:41.694,0:02:43.314
"Yeah, that would be funny."

0:02:43.314,0:02:46.868
And then I shamelessly[br]take it down in my iPhone.

0:02:46.868,0:02:50.588
Take it home. Write out. And somehow[br]integrate myself into this story

0:02:50.588,0:02:51.772
so I'd become a hero,

0:02:51.772,0:02:53.662
so I can then go out on stage

0:02:53.662,0:02:55.445
in front of a room full of strangers,

0:02:55.445,0:02:57.682
in a desperate bid to get them to like me.

0:02:57.682,0:02:58.422
(Chuckle)

0:02:58.422,0:03:00.092
Because that's all a comedian is.

0:03:00.282,0:03:01.738
We're desperate storytellers.

0:03:01.738,0:03:04.668
All we do is go out to a room[br]full of people we've never met

0:03:04.668,0:03:06.648
and beg them to like us.

0:03:06.858,0:03:10.404
So at any point you're wondering[br]why I agreed to do this talk,

0:03:10.951,0:03:11.951
that's why.

0:03:11.951,0:03:13.372
(Laughter)

0:03:13.372,0:03:14.862
And also because my mum told me

0:03:14.862,0:03:17.292
that if I turn down[br]the opportunity to do a TEDTalk,

0:03:17.292,0:03:18.672
she'd put me up for adoption.

0:03:19.536,0:03:21.726
I'm 22 years old,[br]I don't know how do that,

0:03:21.726,0:03:24.556
but it's best not to argue with her[br]when she's been drinking

0:03:24.556,0:03:25.936
You see that?

0:03:25.936,0:03:28.376
That was a perfect example.[br]I made that entirely up,

0:03:28.376,0:03:31.503
just so half of you went: "Ha"

0:03:31.503,0:03:34.303
(Laughter)

0:03:34.303,0:03:37.533
I was willing to fabricate[br]a story about my mother

0:03:37.533,0:03:40.233
being an alcoholic[br]with an emotional problem

0:03:40.233,0:03:42.573
who was willing to disown me[br]as a human being

0:03:45.694,0:03:48.384
(Laughter)

0:03:42.573,0:03:45.694
just so 50 of you went: "Very good."

0:03:48.384,0:03:50.914
That's what I mean by[br]"desperate storyteller".

0:03:51.126,0:03:53.602
And the thing is we're[br]the only storytellers, though,

0:03:53.602,0:03:55.712
that really get in trouble[br]for our stories.

0:03:56.202,0:03:58.602
Every few weeks there is[br]something in the newspaper

0:03:58.602,0:04:01.470
about this comedian[br]that said something awful or offensive

0:04:01.470,0:04:03.640
that's offended one member of the audience

0:04:03.640,0:04:06.350
who, by the way,[br]nine times out of ten, is an idiot.

0:04:06.744,0:04:09.484
And then they talk about it[br]on the news and everything.

0:04:09.484,0:04:13.344
They get scientists and doctors[br]to come on and analyse the joke,

0:04:13.426,0:04:17.066
interview the traumatized audience member,[br]and then they all sit down

0:04:17.066,0:04:19.266
and discuss, at length, a joke

0:04:19.266,0:04:21.886
which lasted one minute[br]in an hour-long set

0:04:21.906,0:04:23.317
and we all sit patiently

0:04:23.317,0:04:26.597
and wait for the officials to tell us[br]whether we were offended or not.

0:04:26.597,0:04:29.357
And then at the end of it,[br]they decide that we're offended.

0:04:29.357,0:04:32.027
Perhaps the comedian[br]shouldn't talk about rape or murder,

0:04:32.027,0:04:33.517
those sort of things on stage,

0:04:33.517,0:04:35.703
that they shouldn't be[br]broadcast in a household

0:04:35.703,0:04:37.783
and we all feel[br]quite good about ourselves.

0:04:37.783,0:04:40.213
Then switch over[br]to Eastenders or True Blood

0:04:40.213,0:04:44.413
where there are scenes of murder,[br]sexual audacity, drug abuse,

0:04:44.413,0:04:48.273
racially invoked crimes[br]and we all go: "This is amazing!"

0:04:48.494,0:04:50.164
Why is it different?

0:04:50.164,0:04:53.134
How come when a comedian[br]says something as a joke,

0:04:53.134,0:04:54.394
it's offensive?

0:04:54.394,0:04:56.604
But when it's acted out in front of you,

0:04:56.604,0:04:59.154
it's intriguing, it's a twist.

0:04:59.814,0:05:03.124
Actors are never criticized[br]or abused for their roles in films.

0:05:03.592,0:05:05.832
Nobody came out[br]of "Inglorious Bastards" going:

0:05:05.832,0:05:09.312
"Oh, I can't believe Christopher Waltz[br]killed all those Jewish people.

0:05:09.312,0:05:10.472
What an awful man!"

0:05:11.062,0:05:13.682
Nobody came out Harry Potter [br]thinking: "You know what?

0:05:13.682,0:05:15.282
I never trusted Snape.

0:05:15.282,0:05:18.804
Not since he had that awful German accent[br]and tried to kill John McClane.

0:05:18.804,0:05:20.614
(Laughter)

0:05:20.614,0:05:22.394
There you go.

0:05:22.954,0:05:25.374
People don't get upset because[br]they know it's fake.

0:05:25.374,0:05:28.264
They know the actors on stage[br]are just portraying characters.

0:05:28.544,0:05:29.864
So are comedians.

0:05:29.864,0:05:30.587
That's our job,

0:05:30.587,0:05:32.537
We're storytellers but we're also so vain

0:05:32.537,0:05:34.630
that we like to put ourselves[br]in the stories.

0:05:34.630,0:05:37.570
We're the writers, directors,[br]and stars of our own show

0:05:37.570,0:05:40.853
where we're just playing[br]an exaggerated parody of ourselves.

0:05:40.853,0:05:42.953
Because we're not going[br]to be ourselves onstage.

0:05:42.953,0:05:46.243
We might play a version of ourselves.[br]But we can't be our true selves.

0:05:46.243,0:05:49.423
If we were to come on stage[br]and talk to you about our real opinions

0:05:49.423,0:05:53.113
with balanced, thought-through points,[br]we wouldn't be comedians,

0:05:53.113,0:05:55.763
we would be politicians[br]and you'd hate us even more.

0:05:56.078,0:05:56.795
Alright?

0:05:56.795,0:05:59.862
When we come on stage, we have to[br]find ways to make you laugh

0:05:59.862,0:06:01.782
and our way of doing that is to come out

0:06:01.782,0:06:04.070
and say something[br]completely stupid and ludicrous

0:06:04.070,0:06:04.958
to make you laugh.

0:06:04.958,0:06:07.856
Another method of doing it[br]is to take a completely, utterly,

0:06:07.856,0:06:10.086
point that no one would agree with,

0:06:10.086,0:06:12.096
something very obscure and blatantly wrong

0:06:12.096,0:06:14.516
and find a way to twist it round

0:06:14.516,0:06:16.506
and make it seem valid just for a second.

0:06:16.506,0:06:18.643
For example, if I were[br]to make the statement:

0:06:18.643,0:06:20.451
"I don't think children should smoke."

0:06:20.831,0:06:23.069
Everyone in this room[br]would agree with it, yeah?

0:06:23.359,0:06:25.357
But if i were to[br]come out on stage and say:

0:06:25.357,0:06:27.996
"I think every child under the age of 13

0:06:27.996,0:06:31.206
should be forced to smoke[br]four packs of cigarettes a day

0:06:31.206,0:06:33.172
because as my brothers are getting older,

0:06:33.172,0:06:36.569
it turns out they're very close[br]to being able to beat me in a foot race.

0:06:37.129,0:06:39.326
That's a way of turning it around.

0:06:39.326,0:06:41.726
You're not laughing me[br]trying to kill my brothers.

0:06:41.726,0:06:45.626
You're laughing at me for being an idiot[br]for thinking that's a good idea. OK?

0:06:45.736,0:06:47.546
And that's what we do with our comedy.

0:06:47.546,0:06:50.323
We're playing stupid versions [br]of ourselves. For example,

0:06:50.323,0:06:53.433
if Ricky Gervais, Frankie Boyle,[br]or Jimmy Carr

0:06:53.433,0:06:55.113
were actually as big as

0:06:55.113,0:06:57.943
the bigoted, racist, fascist,[br]homophobic, sexists

0:06:57.943,0:06:59.983
that the Daily Mail made them out to be,

0:06:59.983,0:07:02.503
they would probably end up[br]working for the Daily Mail.

0:07:02.503,0:07:04.383
(Laughter)

0:07:05.273,0:07:08.193
They're making the stuff up[br]to get that reaction from you.

0:07:08.193,0:07:11.913
The reason I mentioned those names -[br]Frankie Boyle, Ricky Gervais, Jimmy Carr -

0:07:11.913,0:07:14.993
is they're the names commonly[br]associated with "offensive comedy."

0:07:14.993,0:07:17.713
The reason I put offensive comedy[br]in inverted commas there

0:07:17.713,0:07:19.283
isn't because I'm young and hip,

0:07:19.283,0:07:23.163
it's because, basically, I don't really[br]get the term "offensive comedy."

0:07:23.597,0:07:26.307
No comedian wants to offend you,[br]that's not our job.

0:07:26.847,0:07:28.417
Our job is to make you laugh,

0:07:28.417,0:07:29.617
make you think,

0:07:29.617,0:07:31.907
make you smile,[br]make you want to sleep with us

0:07:31.915,0:07:35.025
so that our night in that hotel room[br]is slightly less depressing.

0:07:35.025,0:07:36.138
(Laughter)

0:07:36.138,0:07:38.677
Not to upset you in any way, shape, form.

0:07:38.677,0:07:42.717
Because, the thing about it is[br]when comedians are telling these stories,

0:07:42.717,0:07:46.634
it's to get any form[br]of a reaction out of you.

0:07:46.634,0:07:48.974
And Jimmy Carr, famously,[br]was in trouble recently.

0:07:48.974,0:07:51.072
He made a joke about the Paralympics.

0:07:51.072,0:07:53.832
He made a joke that our troops[br]in Iraq were getting injured

0:07:53.832,0:07:56.642
but at least that would make us have[br]a good Paralympic team.

0:07:56.642,0:07:58.225
And people went mental.

0:07:58.225,0:08:00.219
People were so upset.

0:08:00.219,0:08:04.119
If you were to believe the tabloids,[br]trains stopped on the track

0:08:04.159,0:08:06.689
so that people could get off[br]in order to vomit

0:08:06.689,0:08:09.029
at how disgusted they were by this joke.

0:08:09.029,0:08:12.079
People killed themselves,[br]they were so disgusted by what he said.

0:08:12.079,0:08:13.543
Alright? That's not the case.

0:08:13.543,0:08:16.081
The only people who were not[br]offended by that joke?

0:08:16.081,0:08:17.311
The war veterans,

0:08:17.311,0:08:19.736
who found it hysterical.

0:08:19.736,0:08:22.706
They thought it was great.[br]They repeated to each other.

0:08:22.706,0:08:25.326
So if they weren't offended by that joke,

0:08:25.730,0:08:27.500
who's got the right to be offended?

0:08:28.307,0:08:30.897
People have developed[br]an amazing new ability recently.

0:08:30.897,0:08:34.480
People can be offended[br]on behalf of other people.

0:08:35.100,0:08:37.320
You can't be offended[br]on behalf of someone.

0:08:37.415,0:08:39.164
Feelings are non-transferable.

0:08:39.164,0:08:42.214
You can't be a husband[br]standing beside a wife giving birth going:

0:08:42.214,0:08:45.517
"Don't worry, honey.[br]I'm feeling pain on behalf of you."

0:08:46.367,0:08:48.127
She would beat you to death.

0:08:48.127,0:08:49.269
(Laughter)

0:08:49.269,0:08:52.049
Nobody asks people[br]to be offended on behalf of them.

0:08:52.049,0:08:52.889
They just did it.

0:08:52.889,0:08:55.939
They jumped in front of a bullet[br]that was heading towards a tree.

0:09:00.545,0:09:01.285
It's amazing.

0:09:01.285,0:09:04.565
One of the other topics, one of the most[br]controversial ones last year,

0:08:56.119,0:09:00.298
Alright? It was a blatantly stupid[br]sacrifice they never needed to make.

0:09:04.565,0:09:05.725
was that Frankie Boyle

0:09:06.145,0:09:08.775
made his comment[br]about Katie Price and her family.

0:09:08.775,0:09:12.515
Regardless of your opinions on the joke,[br]which everyone will be divided on,

0:09:12.515,0:09:14.799
don't pay that in context,[br]you have to understand

0:09:14.799,0:09:16.489
that Frankie Boyle made those jokes

0:09:16.489,0:09:18.749
about Katie Price.

0:09:18.959,0:09:19.859
Not to her.

0:09:20.234,0:09:21.164
About her.

0:09:21.442,0:09:24.282
He made that joke onstage[br]in front of a room full of people

0:09:24.282,0:09:27.172
who were fully expecting him[br]to make that sort of comment.

0:09:27.172,0:09:30.062
It wasn't until the newspapers[br]phoned up Katie Price

0:09:30.062,0:09:32.962
and repeated that joke to her[br]several times

0:09:32.962,0:09:34.832
in order to get a reaction.

0:09:35.182,0:09:36.639
That's when she knew about it.

0:09:36.759,0:09:37.929
I am fully aware

0:09:37.929,0:09:40.469
that there are many people[br]out there in the world

0:09:40.489,0:09:42.059
who don't like me,

0:09:42.299,0:09:44.529
who say mean things about me everyday,

0:09:44.659,0:09:46.269
but I'd rather not know.

0:09:46.646,0:09:47.356
OK?

0:09:47.356,0:09:51.316
If you came up to me and you told me that[br]there was a man I'd never met before

0:09:51.316,0:09:53.206
who was saying horrible things about me

0:09:53.206,0:09:56.916
and you then listed the awful things[br]he said about me to my face,

0:09:57.421,0:09:58.821
you're the bad guy.

0:09:59.291,0:10:02.132
That person has the right to say[br]whatever he wants about me.

0:10:02.132,0:10:05.392
I've never met him but he can say[br]what he wants, that's his right.

0:10:05.392,0:10:08.070
It wasn't until you told me[br]that I knew it was going on.

0:10:08.070,0:10:10.028
You've turned it into a personal attack.

0:10:10.528,0:10:12.588
Mostly when comedians[br]are making jokes about

0:10:12.588,0:10:14.502
these celebrities and celebrity culture,

0:10:14.502,0:10:17.062
it's no different from stuff[br]you hear from friends.

0:10:17.062,0:10:19.144
The banter we have[br]every day with our mates

0:10:19.144,0:10:22.581
about some celebrity on television[br]that we don't particularly like.

0:10:23.130,0:10:25.220
Are you trying to suggest[br]that celebrities

0:10:25.220,0:10:27.741
don't know they're ridiculed[br]by the general public?

0:10:27.857,0:10:29.817
That Katie Price thinks[br]that Frankie Boyle

0:10:29.817,0:10:33.217
is the only comedian that[br]doesn't respect her life choices?

0:10:33.299,0:10:34.839
No, of course.

0:10:34.839,0:10:37.719
We're just individuals,[br]willing to risk going onstage, saying

0:10:37.719,0:10:40.559
what everyone else down[br]the pub is saying on a Friday night.

0:10:40.559,0:10:43.989
It seems the general public can say[br]whatever they want about celebrities

0:10:43.989,0:10:45.919
but comedians can't, and that's hypocrisy.

0:10:46.205,0:10:47.315
That's not fair.

0:10:47.611,0:10:49.981
There is a market for shock comedy.

0:10:50.161,0:10:51.671
A huge market, OK?

0:10:51.890,0:10:55.440
But there's also a market for[br]legging sadomasochism and Justin Bieber.

0:10:55.600,0:10:58.894
All arguably more offensive[br]than anything anyone's ever said.

0:10:59.124,0:11:02.502
I'm not trying to say that you[br]shouldn't be offended or upset by things.

0:11:02.502,0:11:05.948
I'm in no position to tell you[br]what should or shouldn't upset you.

0:11:06.119,0:11:08.439
That is your right[br]to react however you want

0:11:08.996,0:11:09.756
But,

0:11:09.895,0:11:11.755
we comedians also have a right;

0:11:11.755,0:11:14.525
a right to say whatever we want[br]to make our audience laugh

0:11:14.525,0:11:16.455
and get the reaction that we want.

0:11:16.455,0:11:18.455
We're fortunate enough[br]to live in a society

0:11:18.455,0:11:20.364
where there is loads of comedy nowadays.

0:11:20.364,0:11:22.104
Comedy's bigger than it's ever been.

0:11:22.104,0:11:25.494
So if you don't like one style of comedy,[br]you can go see another one.

0:11:25.524,0:11:26.744
Everything's catered for.

0:11:26.836,0:11:30.576
But we should be allowed to do[br]whatever makes our audience laugh.

0:11:30.576,0:11:32.006
Not people that weren't there,

0:11:32.006,0:11:35.245
the audience that paid to come see us,[br]that traveled around the world

0:11:35.245,0:11:38.074
and countries sometimes to come[br]and see us do what we do

0:11:38.074,0:11:40.884
without having to worry that[br]there's someone in the audience

0:11:40.884,0:11:44.494
who might take one of our jokes[br]out of context and then repeat it.

0:11:44.644,0:11:47.474
Because most of the time[br]the jokes are taken out of context.

0:11:47.474,0:11:50.374
You know, you're only given[br]the brutal punchline.

0:11:50.374,0:11:52.674
You're only told the joke[br]by a news presenter

0:11:52.674,0:11:54.654
with her sour face just repeating it.

0:11:54.785,0:11:56.325
That's not how it was delivered.

0:11:56.325,0:11:57.765
You're not given the context,

0:11:57.765,0:11:59.055
you're not given the setup,

0:11:59.055,0:12:00.585
you're not given the atmosphere,

0:12:00.585,0:12:02.635
you're not even given[br]the audience reaction.

0:12:02.635,0:12:06.345
And that's not fair. You don't take other[br]storyteller's stories out of context.

0:12:06.345,0:12:08.675
If I were to tell you [br]when I was five years old,

0:12:08.675,0:12:11.527
my dad would tell my a story[br]about a mass murderer

0:12:11.527,0:12:13.997
who would disguise himself[br]as a close relative

0:12:13.997,0:12:17.617
in order to get close to a young girl[br]so that he could have his way with her,

0:12:17.617,0:12:20.887
and just before he managed to do that,[br]he was brutally murdered.

0:12:20.887,0:12:23.257
Everyone would agree that[br]my dad's a dreadful man.

0:12:23.888,0:12:24.898
But if i point out

0:12:24.898,0:12:28.018
that that's the basic story line[br]for 'Little Red Riding Hood,'

0:12:28.673,0:12:31.383
a lot less people are phoning[br]child services. OK?

0:12:31.383,0:12:34.963
You know how it was intended[br]to be delivered and you expected that way.

0:12:34.963,0:12:35.693
Alright?

0:12:35.952,0:12:39.052
A story is just a story,[br]and a joke is just a joke.

0:12:39.646,0:12:43.006
You knew the stories that you heard[br]as a kid weren't true. Right?

0:12:43.006,0:12:46.236
There was no monster under the bed,[br]no Boogie Man in the corner.

0:12:46.236,0:12:48.526
Your granddad wasn't really[br]ripping off his thumb

0:12:48.526,0:12:50.806
and taking the pain exceptionally well.

0:12:51.479,0:12:52.479
He was just doing it.

0:12:52.479,0:12:55.429
Please apply the same logic[br]to our stories.

0:12:55.429,0:12:57.449
We're saying these jokes as jokes.

0:12:57.449,0:13:01.121
There's very rarely[br]malicious intent behind it.

0:13:01.451,0:13:05.141
There may not be jokes that you like,[br]but what we're doing is taking a concept

0:13:05.141,0:13:06.441
and we're exaggerating it,

0:13:06.441,0:13:07.551
lying about it,

0:13:07.551,0:13:10.091
turning it in such a way[br]you weren't expecting it.

0:13:10.091,0:13:12.841
And sometimes, we turn it in a way[br]that you don't like.

0:13:12.841,0:13:14.331
But that's your problem.

0:13:14.331,0:13:16.151
The world doesn't revolve around you.

0:13:16.151,0:13:16.891
Ignore it.

0:13:16.891,0:13:17.631
Move on.

0:13:17.631,0:13:18.891
Forget about it.

0:13:19.006,0:13:19.766
Alright?

0:13:19.766,0:13:23.016
You seem to assume that comedians[br]haven't gone through any hardships.

0:13:23.016,0:13:26.946
Whereas most of the time it's a hardship[br]that's caused us to get into comedy.

0:13:26.946,0:13:29.986
Our reaction to our hardships[br]was to make light of the situation

0:13:29.986,0:13:32.516
and get over it, as opposed to[br]going round the country

0:13:32.516,0:13:36.153
making sure that nobody ever mentions[br]it ever again to hurt my delicate soul.

0:13:36.153,0:13:38.783
So that's my point,[br]that's the point I'm trying to make.

0:13:38.783,0:13:41.703
If at any point you've [dis]agreed[br]with anything I've said,

0:13:41.703,0:13:44.082
don't worry, it was just[br]a story, I made it all up.

0:13:44.082,0:13:45.012
Thank you very much

0:13:45.012,0:13:48.842
(Applause)