WEBVTT

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독자들이 실제 이야기와 배경을 알게된다면
책을 달리 보게 되고,

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더 잘 읽게 된다고 생각합니다. 왜냐하면
글을 쓰는 동안에서 무언가 일어나기 때문입니다.

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페이지 위에서 글을 쓰는 동안 실제 주체의 
큰 변화가 일어나는 것이죠.

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제가 아버지의 자살에 대해 책을 쓰고있을 때,
십년동안 작업했지만 어떻게 써야 할지 잘 몰랐어요.

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처음엔 너무 단적으로 글을 썼죠. 아버지가 
돌아가시고 가족 모두 얼마나 슬퍼했는지에

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대해 썼어요. 도저히 못읽게 더라구요

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그러다, 책 중간부에 와서 
단편소설을 쓰기 시작했어요.

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반정도 썼을때, 모든것이 달라지는 놀라운 
일이 있었어요. 그런 일이 있을거라고

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그때, 글을 쓰고 있을 당시엔 생각도 못했어요. 
다음날, 정신을 차리고

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단편소설의 내용을 줄이고 처음 계획대로 책을 써나갔죠.
그리고 이전까지 쓴 내용을 다시 읽어봤어요.

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마치 처음 읽는 글 같았고, 제가 썼지만 
패턴이 있다는 걸 발견했어요.

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제가 보지 못했던 순간까지 연결되어
있는거예요.

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그 순간, 글쓰기에 대한 저의 생각이 통채로 바뀌었죠
이 책의 최고 페이지는

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생각의 전환이 있은 후 쓴거예요. 제가 힘들고 계획이 없을때 썼을때
그래서 전 독자들에게 이야기의 배경에 대해

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숨기는게 없다는 것을 말씀드리고 싶습니다
전 독자들에게 제 아버지가

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제가 13세 자살하셨다는 것과 아버지께서 
제에게 알라스카에 와서 일년 같이 지내자고

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부탁하셨지만 전 거절했어요. 
이 후 곧 아버지께서 자살하셨어요.

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