[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.22,0:00:04.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.63,0:00:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(cvrkut ptica) Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.70,0:00:11.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da se za mene Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.35,0:00:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i mnogo drugih transrodnih djevojaka koje poznam Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.96,0:00:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spavaća soba počne doimati poput utočišta. Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.08,0:00:20.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je prostor u kojemu se možemo osjećati sigurno Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.79,0:00:25.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i možda ne moramo nositi s onime što postoji u svijetu. Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.04,0:00:30.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Napravili smo repliku moje spavaće sobe Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.13,0:00:32.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,u prostoru same galerije. Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.61,0:00:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zaista imam osjećaj kao da pokušavam prikazati čitav jedan svemir, Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.80,0:00:42.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gdje transrodne žene u svojoj sobi Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.79,0:00:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kroje snove o svojoj bodućnosti i mogućnostima, Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.44,0:00:48.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a možda čak i o tome kakav bi bio svijet Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.76,0:00:50.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da nije takav kakav je. Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.90,0:00:53.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Puppies Puppies\N(Jade Guanaro Kuriki-Olivo):] Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.92,0:00:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Radikalna transparentnost] Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.49,0:01:12.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.94,0:01:14.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mjesta iz moje prošlosti Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.59,0:01:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i mjesta o kojima sanjam za budućnost Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.85,0:01:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,preuzimaju ulogu vrta sobe. Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.71,0:01:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kada sam imala tumor na mozgu, Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.16,0:01:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,zaista sam CBD shvaćala kao sveti lijek, Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.32,0:01:29.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao što se shvaćao u japanskoj povijesti Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.36,0:01:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i povijesti domorodačkih naroda Amerike. Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.41,0:01:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sanjam o tome da u budućnosti vodim farmu, Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.79,0:01:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali onda opet, teško je, Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.18,0:01:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer je okruženje u ruralnim mjestima Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.94,0:01:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vrlo neprijateljski nastrojeno. Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.45,0:01:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zatim, vrata Torii se u šintoizmu Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.16,0:01:51.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,uvijek poimaju kao simbol svetoga mjesta. Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.70,0:01:55.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da se na kraju sve to skupa slaže Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.79,0:01:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako da tvori pejzaž sjećanja Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.88,0:01:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i jednu vrstu čežnje. Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.39,0:02:10.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.41,0:02:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Veliki dio života transrodne osobe Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.42,0:02:21.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,čini sveprisutni strah, Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.01,0:02:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali umjetnost je domena u kojoj se osjećam Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.24,0:02:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao da mogu sama diktirati neke stvari Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.58,0:02:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i moja riječ vrijedi. Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.22,0:02:37.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Radila sam u neprofitnoj organizaciji Trans Latina. Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.57,0:02:40.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dolazilo je sve više prilika u umjetnosti Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.04,0:02:41.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa sam si pomislila da bih možda u ovo Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.96,0:02:44.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mogla uklopiti društveni rad. Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.77,0:02:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je započelo testovima za HIV u prostoru muzeja. Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.29,0:02:52.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nekada sam mislila: Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.30,0:02:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ovo je aktivizam" Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.30,0:02:54.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili "Ovo je umjetnost" Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.38,0:02:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili "Ovo je eskapizam", Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.81,0:02:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali u stvarnosti se Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.47,0:02:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,puno toga počne ispreplitati. Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.03,0:03:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (smirujuća glazba) ♪ Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.42,0:03:09.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tek smo bili prohodali Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.29,0:03:10.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,netom prije izložbe. Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.75,0:03:12.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Čak se i sjećam da sam se osjećala loše. Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.98,0:03:15.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislila sam: "Dobro, kako ću mu reći?" Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.45,0:03:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ja nisam znao što da mislim o tome Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.32,0:03:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer nikada zapravo nisam upoznao osobu Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.77,0:03:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koja stvara baš "umjetnost" umjetnost. Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.66,0:03:23.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kao pravu umjetnost. Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.79,0:03:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislio sam da je to malo ludo na početku. Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.80,0:03:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.30,0:03:31.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio sam malo nervozan oko toga da me izloži, Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.74,0:03:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer sam ipak zatvorena osoba, Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.35,0:03:37.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali kad mi je sve pokazala, shvatio sam. Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.13,0:03:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bilo je odlično, genijalno. Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.09,0:03:43.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.98,0:03:46.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(hihot) Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.27,0:03:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(mumljanje) Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.79,0:03:51.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Bila sam zahvalna što si bio ondje sa mnom, Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.76,0:03:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako da se ne moram osjećati usamljeno u akvariju. Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.05,0:04:02.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Osjećaj da me se snima nije mi uvijek na površini svijesti, Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.15,0:04:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali ipak nikada potpuno ne odlazi. Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.25,0:04:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Odrasla sam u Texasu. Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.95,0:04:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Svi u mojoj školi imali su izloženo vatreno oružje Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.86,0:04:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i osjećala sam se kao da se cijelo vrijeme moram skrivati. Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.80,0:04:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tako da sam prijatelje upoznavala na internetu Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.79,0:04:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i živjela pod pseudonimom, Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.58,0:04:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako da bih rekla da je posredovanje putem ekrana Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.77,0:04:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nešto o čemu sam oduvijek razmišljala. Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.79,0:04:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oduvijek sam ju smatrala nejasnom, Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.04,0:04:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tu granicu između Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.68,0:04:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,onoga što dijeliš i onoga što ne dijeliš. Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.98,0:04:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znala sam da želim iskoristiti opnu Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.13,0:04:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koja se pričvrsti na staklo Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.34,0:04:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i jednostavno napravi maglu pritiskom prekidača. Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.96,0:04:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da je to bio način da kažem: Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.20,0:04:45.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"U redu, pustite me da živim iza ekrana Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.09,0:04:47.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koji može biti online ili offline." Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.04,0:04:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Očekivala sam da za publiku to neće biti dovoljno performansa, Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.95,0:04:54.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali, iskreno, za mene je bilo malo previše. Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.97,0:05:03.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I tako sam pozvala prijateljice Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.36,0:05:05.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da dođu u ovaj prostor, Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.16,0:05:07.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da glume u teatru. Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.49,0:05:11.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tako nešto pomoću čega mogu aktivirati prostor Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.27,0:05:15.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da ga ljudi u mom okruženju mogu iskoristiti. Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.57,0:05:21.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (tibetanska zvona) ♪ Dialogue: 0,0:05:21.24,0:05:24.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,["Večer u kući transcendencije"\NThe New Museum] Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.67,0:05:30.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (tibetanska zvona) ♪ Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.23,0:05:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Njegova cura naravno nije znala Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.33,0:05:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da spava s trans ženama. Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.40,0:05:37.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio je vrsta osobe koja bi tražila da sve ostaviš, Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.58,0:05:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali bio je i jedina osoba za koju bih to bila voljna učiniti, Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.18,0:05:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer je njegov odgovor bio: "Platit ću koliko god." Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.32,0:05:45.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nije mi se činilo sigurnim, iskreno, Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.24,0:05:47.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali to je bio dio posla. Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.31,0:05:49.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (zvučnik) Voljela bih misliti Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.85,0:05:52.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da sam pomogla nekim svojim klijentima, Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.11,0:05:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako što sam im, u osnovi, Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.88,0:05:56.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bila nelicencirani terapeut. Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.06,0:05:59.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ili što sam im pružila osjećaj Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.35,0:06:01.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da su ljudska bića, Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.42,0:06:04.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer bih voljela isto to zauzvrat. Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.23,0:06:08.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ (elektronička glazba) ♪ Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.48,0:06:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Zvučnik) Kada ovjerene medicinske pomoćnice, Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.21,0:06:12.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,čistači, smetlari ili Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.02,0:06:14.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ljudi u drugim okupacijama Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.13,0:06:15.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koje se smatraju nepoželjnima Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.52,0:06:16.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,biraju svoj posao, Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.60,0:06:20.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ne rade to kako bi se osjećali osnažnjeno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.84,0:06:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (Lexii) Da, bilo je... (smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.21,0:06:26.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Da, budi iskrena, možeš reći što god. Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.16,0:06:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Bilo je jako smiješno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.87,0:06:30.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znači, imala je jedan daljinski, Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.44,0:06:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali u staklu su bili prorezi kroz koje Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.46,0:06:33.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,se moglo viriti unutra Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.71,0:06:36.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i tako su neki ljudi pokušavali viriti, Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.15,0:06:37.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa bi Jade stisla dugme Dialogue: 0,0:06:37.96,0:06:39.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i napravila da se sve opet vidi, Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.42,0:06:41.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa bi se oni prepali kao "Oh!" Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.02,0:06:41.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.100,0:06:44.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znači, svaki put bi me nasmijalo. Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.54,0:06:49.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ali znaš li što je isto smiješno? Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.24,0:06:53.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ta razina radoznalosti od gledatelja. Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.08,0:06:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znači, mi to doživljavamo Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.80,0:06:58.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,samo postojeći, izlazeći van, doslovno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.83,0:07:00.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ljudi uvijek zure u nas, Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.78,0:07:02.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jednostavno se počnem osjećati... Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.38,0:07:04.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ti znaš da sam ja osoba, jelda?" Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.60,0:07:05.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Znaš da sam ljudsko biće?" Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.95,0:07:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Da, nekad je osjećaj kao da priređuješ nekakvu scenu, Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.62,0:07:11.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,imaš taj daljinski u ruci Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.22,0:07:13.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i mislim da je to... Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.47,0:07:15.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da je to sloboda. Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.69,0:07:18.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ja to samo zovem "Moć". Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.81,0:07:24.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio je to način da promislim ideju vidljivosti, Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.34,0:07:27.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali također i ideje otpora i odsutnosti. Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.55,0:07:31.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Na određeni način ima djelovanje "povuci-potegni", Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.05,0:07:34.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,za što mislim da se nekada odražava u mojoj osobnosti. Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.71,0:07:35.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Postanem jako bliska Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.84,0:07:38.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i isto tako se povučem i zaklonim Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.83,0:07:40.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili opsjenim. Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.28,0:07:44.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je jedna čudna situacija, Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.07,0:07:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,u kojoj nisam mogla biti "ja", Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.55,0:07:47.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,morala sam biti druga osoba Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.40,0:07:49.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,na američkom Jugu, da preživim Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.93,0:07:51.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a sada, kao izvođač Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.70,0:07:54.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pokušavam biti čim više svoja Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.11,0:07:58.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i učim kako glumiti na drugi način.