[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.22,0:00:04.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(tihi žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.63,0:00:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(cvrkut ptica) Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.70,0:00:11.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da se za mene Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.35,0:00:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i puno drugih transrodnih djevojaka koje poznajem Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.96,0:00:18.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spavaća soba počne doimati poput utočišta. Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.08,0:00:20.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je prostor u kojemu se možemo osjećati sigurno Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.79,0:00:25.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i možda ne moramo nositi s onime što postoji u svijetu. Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.04,0:00:30.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Napravili smo repliku moje spavaće sobe Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.13,0:00:32.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,u prostoru galerije. Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.61,0:00:39.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zaista imam osjećaj kao da pokušavam prikazati čitav jedan svemir, Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.80,0:00:42.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gdje transrodne žene u svojoj sobi Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.79,0:00:46.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kroje snove o svojoj bodućnosti i mogućnostima. Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.44,0:00:48.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A možda čak i o tome kakav bi bio svijet Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.76,0:00:50.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da nije takav kakav je Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.90,0:00:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Puppies Puppies\N(Jade Guanaro Kuriki-Olivo):] Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.88,0:00:58.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[Radikalna transparentnost] Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.94,0:01:14.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mjesta iz moje prošlosti Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.59,0:01:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i mjesta o kojima sanjam za budućnost Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.85,0:01:20.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,preuzimaju ulogu vrta sobe Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.71,0:01:24.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kada sam imala tumor na mozgu, Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.16,0:01:27.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,zaista sam CBD shvaćala kao sveti lijek, Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.32,0:01:29.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao što se shvaćao u japanskoj povijesti Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.36,0:01:32.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i povijesti domorodačkih naroda Amerike. Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.41,0:01:38.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sanjam o tome da u budućnosti vodim farmu Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.79,0:01:40.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali onda opet, teško je, Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.18,0:01:41.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer je okruženje u ruralnim mjestima Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.94,0:01:44.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vrlo neprijateljski nastrojeno. Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.45,0:01:50.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Zatim, vrata Torii se u šintoizmu uvijek poimaju kao simbol svetoga mjesta Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.70,0:01:55.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tako da mislim da se na kraju sve to skupa slaže Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.79,0:01:57.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako da tvori pejzaž sjećanja Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.88,0:01:59.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i jednu vrstu čežnje. Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.53,0:02:14.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(žamor glasova) Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.41,0:02:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Veliki dio postojanja kao transrodna osoba Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.42,0:02:21.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,je sveprisutni strah u pozadini svega, Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.01,0:02:23.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali umjetnost je domena u kojoj se osjećam Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.24,0:02:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao da mogu sama diktirati stvari Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.58,0:02:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i moja riječ vrijedi u nekim stvarima. Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.22,0:02:37.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Radila sam u neprofitnoj organizaciji Trans Latina Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.57,0:02:40.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dolazilo je sve više prilika u umjetnosti Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.04,0:02:41.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa sam si pomislila da bih možda u ovo Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.96,0:02:44.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mogla uklopiti društveni rad. Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.77,0:02:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je započelo testovima za HIV u prostoru muzeja Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.29,0:02:53.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nekada sam mislila, "Ovo je aktivizam" Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.30,0:02:54.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili "Ovo je umjetnost" Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.38,0:02:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili "Ovo je eskapizam", Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.81,0:02:57.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali u stvarnosti puno se Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.47,0:02:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,toga počne ispreplitati. Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.06,0:03:06.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(smirujuća glazba) Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.42,0:03:09.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tek smo bili prohodali Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.90,0:03:11.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,netom prije izložbe. Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.61,0:03:14.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Čak se i sjećam da sam se osjećala loše, Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.08,0:03:15.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao, "Dobro, kako ću mu reći?" Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.45,0:03:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ja nisam znao što da mislim o tome Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.32,0:03:20.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer nikad nisam upoznao osobu koja radi Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.68,0:03:22.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,baš umjetnost umjetnost Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.66,0:03:23.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kao, pravu umjetnost. Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.79,0:03:27.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislio sam da je to malo ludo na početku Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.80,0:03:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.30,0:03:30.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio sam malo nervozan oko toga Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.95,0:03:32.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da me izloži Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.09,0:03:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer ipak jesam zatvorena osoba, Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.35,0:03:37.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali kad mi je sve pokazala, shvatio sam. Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.13,0:03:39.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bilo je odlično, genijalno. Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.98,0:03:52.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Bila sam zahvalna što si ondje sa mnom, Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.34,0:03:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da ne moram biti sama u akvariju Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.77,0:04:00.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Osjećaj da me se snima Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.70,0:04:02.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nije mi uvijek na površini svijesti, Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.82,0:04:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali ipak nikada potpuno ne odlazi. Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.11,0:04:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Odrasla sam u Texasu. Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.95,0:04:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Svi u mojoj školi imali su izloženo vatreno oružje, Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.86,0:04:13.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i osjećala sam se kao da se cijelo vrijeme moram skrivati. Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.80,0:04:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tako da sam prijatelje upoznavala na internetu Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.79,0:04:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i živjela pod pseudonimom Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.58,0:04:19.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako da bih rekla da je Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.35,0:04:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,posredovanje putem ekrana Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.77,0:04:22.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nešto o čemu sam oduvijek razmišljala. Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.79,0:04:25.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oduvijek sam ju smatrala nejasnom, Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.04,0:04:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tu granicu između Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.68,0:04:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,onoga što dijeliš i onoga što ne dijeliš. Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.98,0:04:34.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znala sam da želim iskoristiti Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.44,0:04:36.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,opnu koja se pričvrsti na staklo Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.34,0:04:38.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i jednostavno napravi maglu Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.58,0:04:40.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pritiskom prekidača. Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.96,0:04:43.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da je to bio način da kažem... Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.20,0:04:45.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"U redu, pustite me da živim iza ekrana Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.09,0:04:47.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koji može biti online ili offline." Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.04,0:04:50.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislila sam da će to biti dovoljno Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.77,0:04:51.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,glume za ljude ili nešto Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.95,0:04:54.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali, iskreno, za mene je bilo malo previše. Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.97,0:05:04.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I tako sam pozvala prijatelje Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.10,0:05:05.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da dođu u ovaj prostor Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.83,0:05:07.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da glume u kazalištu Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.49,0:05:10.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Takve stvari pomoću kojih Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.26,0:05:11.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mogu aktivirati prostor i Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.57,0:05:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ljudi u mom okruženju ih mogu iskoristiti. Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.25,0:05:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Zvonjava) Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.23,0:05:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Njegova cura naravno nije znala Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.33,0:05:34.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da spava s trans ženama Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.24,0:05:36.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio je tip osobe koji bi Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.02,0:05:37.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tražio od tebe da sve ostaviš, Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.62,0:05:38.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali bio je i jedina osoba Dialogue: 0,0:05:38.94,0:05:40.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,za koju bih to bila voljna učiniti, Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.73,0:05:42.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer je njegov odgovor bio Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.03,0:05:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Platit ću koliko god" Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.45,0:05:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Nije mi se činilo sigurnim, iskreno Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.82,0:05:47.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali to je bio dio posla. Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.59,0:05:50.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (zvučnik) Voljela bih misliti Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.67,0:05:52.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da sam pomogla svojim klijentima Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.33,0:05:54.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tako što sam im u osnovi Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.46,0:05:56.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,bila nelicencirani terapeut. Dialogue: 0,0:05:57.37,0:05:59.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ili što sam im dala osjećaj Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.82,0:06:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,da su ljudska bića Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.64,0:06:04.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jer bih voljela isto to zauzvrat. Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.20,0:06:09.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Glazba) Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.46,0:06:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Kada ovjerene medicinske sestre, asistenti, Dialogue: 0,0:06:12.28,0:06:14.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,čistači, smetlari ili Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.54,0:06:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ljudi u drugim okupacijama Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.00,0:06:17.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koje se smatraju nepoželjnima Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.48,0:06:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,biraju svoj posao Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.82,0:06:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ne rade to kako bi se osjećali osnažnjeno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.84,0:06:24.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (Lexii) Da, bilo je... (smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.21,0:06:26.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Da, budi iskrena, možeš reći što god. Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.16,0:06:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Bilo je jako smiješno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.87,0:06:30.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Znači, imala je jedan daljinski, Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.08,0:06:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali u staklu su bili prorezi kroz koje Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.04,0:06:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,se moglo viriti unutra Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.89,0:06:36.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i tako su neki ljudi pokušavali viriti Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.84,0:06:38.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa bi Jade stisla dugme i napravila da Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.84,0:06:40.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,se sve opet vidi Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.27,0:06:41.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pa bi se oni prepali kao "Oh!" Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.91,0:06:43.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- (smijeh) Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.19,0:06:45.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znači, svaki put bi me nasmijalo. Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.54,0:06:50.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ali znaš što je isto smiješno Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.06,0:06:52.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ta razina radoznalosti od gledatelja. Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.67,0:06:55.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Znači, mi to doživljavamo svaki dan Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.93,0:06:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,samo postojeći, izlazeći van, doslovno. Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.04,0:07:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ljudi uvijek zure u nas, Dialogue: 0,0:07:01.62,0:07:03.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,jednostavno počnem se osjećati Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.06,0:07:04.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Ti znaš da sam ja osoba?", jelda Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.83,0:07:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Znaš da sam ljudsko biće?" Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.35,0:07:08.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Da, nekad je osjećaj kao da si nekakva predstava Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.59,0:07:09.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Da Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.38,0:07:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I imaš taj daljinski u ruci Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.28,0:07:12.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i mislim da je to... Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.80,0:07:15.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mislim da je to sloboda. Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.37,0:07:18.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Ja to samo zovem "Moć" Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.75,0:07:24.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bio je to način da nekako Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.03,0:07:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,promišljam vidljivost Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.04,0:07:29.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ali isto tako i otporu i odsutnosti Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.02,0:07:30.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ima taj utjecaj povuci-potegni Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.88,0:07:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,koji mislim da se nekada odražava Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.12,0:07:34.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i u mojoj osobnosti, Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.72,0:07:36.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,postanem jako bliska Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.69,0:07:38.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i isto tako se povučem i zaklonim Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.96,0:07:40.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ili opsjenim Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.36,0:07:44.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To je nešto tako čudno, Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.21,0:07:46.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gdje nisam mogla biti "ja" Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.16,0:07:48.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,morala sam biti druga osoba Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.36,0:07:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,na jugu, da preživim Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.58,0:07:51.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a sada, kao izvođač Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.70,0:07:54.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pokušavam biti čim više svoja Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.79,0:07:59.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i učim kako glumiti na drugi način