WEBVTT
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Subtitled by Nightfurmoon
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Narrator: Welcome, clients desperate for evil advice,
to the orientation videos of Black Hat Organization.
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Get ready for another session of
what you mustn't do in The Lost Cases of...
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[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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A city that has one of the biggest
and most dangerous collections of villains in--
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[Narrator] Hey hey wait! Who the hell are you?
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[Townsville Narrator] Me? I'm the narrator!
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[Narrator] In your dreams! I'm the narrator!
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[Townsville Narr.] What are you talking about?
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I've always been the narrator of... The City of Townsville!
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[Narrator] But we aren't in Townsville!
[Townsville Narr.] But-
[Narrator] Get out!
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[Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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A pacific place and always protected by- Ugh, I don't care.
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Here's Lord Black Hat!
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Welcome, infamous cockroaches!
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Uh, sir...
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I just wanted to say that
today you look gloriously evil...
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This time, we will analyze one of the most recognized
and despicable villains of the City of Townsville
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Mojo Jojo!
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This primate is a bit more
developed than the average human.
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Sir, he's just a monkey
that likes bananas.
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All of you are the same to me.
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Anyway... His big mistake is not hiring
the services of Black Hat Organization.
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There's only one thing I can do and probably will do and GOOD BYE!
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Flug: Wait sir. Mojo is a black diamond platinum client of the
organization and has spent millions in our products.
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BH: Mojo Jojo, a disgusting and wicked
primate and evil genius of Townsville.
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Flug: Hey sir, isn't Townsville one of our many
test zones for our manufactured monsters?
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BH: If you interrupt me again you'll have to
manufacture yourself a new head!
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The attributes that make Mojo Jojo a more advanced specimen
than the average human are his superior intellect...
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Flug: But not superior to mine!
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BH: ...he owns a large arsenal of lethal weapons and machinery...
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Flug: ALMOST as lethal as the ones in our catalogue, sir!
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BH: ...a diabolical lair at the top of a volcano....
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Flug: That isn't as charming as a completely habitable giant top hat.
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BH: ...and a looong list of purchases
of the products from Black Hat Organization!
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Flug: Designed and built by a true genius.
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The ones who ruin his malevolent
plans are his archenemies
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The Flirtypuff Girls.
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They're the Powerpuff
Girls, my master and lord!
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AAHH! AHH MY WEENIE!
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BH: These Flirtypuff Girls are the protectors of this pathetic city
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and they're just three kindergarten girls!
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I don't need to see more, his mistake is losing his dignity,
facing baby humans that haven't even developed fingers.
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Flug: Frequent platinum client! Frequent platinum client!...
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BH: Let's analyze his diabolical plans.
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Ahh, Anubis' Head! One of the oldest
AND MOST USELESS relics that exists!
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The only thing he's going to achieve is
turning the entire city into dogs!
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What villain would want to rule a world filled with dogs?!
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Instead he should've used the
Quetzalcoatl head! THAT is a relic.
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Narrator: A lethal relic with a deadly offer!
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Now you can rent the Quetzalcoatl head to incinerate your heroic enemies
and not worry about where you're going to put it when you've finished using it.
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Rent it to destroy your hero, the hero league, your mother in law! Or the-
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[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
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Take advantage of this offer for the next 24 hours!
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[Narrator] Get out of here! This is my show!
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[Townsville Narr.] Hehehe, doesn't feel so good when
someone wants to steal your job, huh?
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[Narrator] LEAVE!
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-Not so fast! -You evil...! -Chimp!
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Listen to me, Powerpuff Girls.
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You're no longer
a threat to me.
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BH: Ahh, I see he's fond of kicking adorable creatures, but he'll never
beat my multiversal record of distance traveled with a kick!
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Muahahaha!
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You can't reach me here!
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BH: Of course this ape is as pathetic as
the rest of the bipeds that infest this planet.
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Narrator: If you're so weak that a trio
of adorable puppies can beat you,
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then you need the Butt Cover of Black Hat Organization!
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Wha-what are you doing here, Demencia?
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I'm here to narrate, duuh!
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Why does everyone want to steal my job today!
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[Townsville Narr.] You all are stealing MY JOB,
and you didn't even go to the Narration School!
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[Demencia] Noo, but I found this!
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[Both narrators] What?! [buzzing noises]
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Flug: Demencia, and the Narrator?! Don't you
know that they charge us per hour?!
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Demencia: I thought that you were clever, Flug!
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Isn't it obvious? Now I'M the Narrator
and I've come to narrate a... 'Demencia Tip'!
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Hello it's me, Demencia! And I'm here to help all of
you weak villains, who can't even defend their butts with my...
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Demencia tips!
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In this case, like Mojo Jojo's, if a dog tried to
bite your butt, all you have to do is...
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OPEN AN UMBRELLA IN THEIR MOUTHS!
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Oorrr... FILL THEIR HOUSE WITH RACCOONS!
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Or you can shoot them...
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With YOUR SILICONE GUN! Tralalaa, silicon power~
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Flug: Demencia, get out! You're ruining everything!
Demencia: [mocking noises]
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Flug: Hatbots, GET HER. Lethal mode.
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Demencia: [gasp] You'll NEVER CATCH ME ALIIIIVE!
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BH: One of the biggest injustices that villains are
forced to face is that they always fight teams of heroes.
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To counter this, a mediocre villain must create their own team of villains.
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In this case, Mojo Jojo pledges an alliance with
Fuzzy Lumpkins, Princess Morebucks and [inaudible]
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Flug: Why does that always happen when
they say the true name of Him?
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BH: When someone mentions his name, strange things happen.
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When they mention mine, people die. To each their own.
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MUAHAHA! YES, YES! AGAIN, AGAIN! MUAHAHA!
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Flug: You see, my master, the evil
alliance of Mojo seems to be victorious.
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They managed to crush the
Powerpuff Girls more than once!
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BH: I've been in this world long enough to know that
sentimentality is about to destroy this alliance.
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I love you too!
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Oh no...
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I told you!
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This is Moko Jono. She has brilliant plans
on her mind that we should try!
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Imagine all the people
desperate to get to their destinations!
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That's not evil, that's inconvenient!
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It's totally legal to take everything
that's completely white! So let's take them.
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If it's legal to take them, you aren't stealing!
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THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT,
THE MORE PAIN FOR EVERYONE LISTENING!
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-WE QUIT!
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And I leave!
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Come here!
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Michelle!
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Who's Michelle?
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Moko, do you know
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AAAAAAAH!
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Flug: Err... Lord Black Hat had to go out to do... very horrible things.
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I'll continue to analyze this subject, starting with the 10V3 rule.
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Don't involve your heart. Don't be like that.
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Let's look for Mojo and see what he's planning this time.
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[Townsville Narr.] Ahh Mojo Jojo! What are you planning this time?
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[Narrator] I already told you that this is MY show!
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Ohh, Mojo Jojo, what are you planning this time?
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Ohh, Mojo Jojo, what are you planning this time?
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If you hurt the professor--!
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Why would I hurt
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MY OWN FATHER?
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-WHAT?!
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Flug: What?
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(WHAT?!)
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The explosion that created
you also affected me.
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My small monkey
brain started to mutate.
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I always felt dwarfed by your
tremendous physical abilities.
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And my brilliant discoveries
always went unnoticed.
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It's not fair, not fair!
That's too sad, shoo, shoo!
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I understand you, my Mojito,
I understand. Stay strong. [sniff]
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...and never poor Mojo.
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Jojo, I feel like a bully. Is there
something I can do to make this better?
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Give me superpowers too!
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Okay!
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My experience says that giving superpowers to creatures
with sub-optimal intelligence never ends well, no?
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Father?
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Son?
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Jethro!
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Classic, he's using his enemy as a
baseball bat. Lord Black Hat loves to do that!
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Yes, I love doing that!
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Who would have thought that you
aren't as incompetent as we initially thought?
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Wait and see, newbie. This
always ends in disappointment.
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So many weapons and evil plans!
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AH! What are you doing! NO, Demencia, stop it!
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Huh? But I'm not doing anything!
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Ah, sorry. Post-traumatic stress.
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Hey, wait, I remember!
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You were the worst
lab assistant I ever had!
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And if I'm not mistaken,
it was on the day that I...
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...was busy working on the formula
for the perfect little girls, when suddenly
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you pushed me!
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Who would think that having
a monkey as an employee is a good idea?
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You don't have to think
too much to know that.
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...and the birth of
the Powerpuff Girls!
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What?!
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WHAAAT?!
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What? You created the Powerpuff Girls? You're the
one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence?
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Whaaat? I created the Powerpuff Girls? I'm the
one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence?
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How outrageous. He committed the
classic mistakes of an evil genius!
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These were his mistakes.
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Number one: You can't involve affection.
That disgusting feeling ruins everything.
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5.0.5.: Baww!
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Not now, my genetically
altered baby. Daddy is working~
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Number two: He doesn't shut up!
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And after a long list of mistakes
like excessive trust, using a cape,
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and losing against baby humans,
without a doubt his worst mistake is...
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Creating his archenemies.
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Who with two grams of brains is able to do such thing?!
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It's unheard of! There's only one thing
I can do to make this stupid ape better...
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From one evil genius to another,
Mojo, I'll say that this won't kill you...
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Although you might wish it did.
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And once again, everything is
much worse thanks to
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Lord Black Hat! And the orientation
videos of Black Hat Organization!
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SHUT UP ALREADY!
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AAAAH!