Subtitled by Nightfurmoon
Narrator: Welcome, clients desperate for evil advice, to the orientation videos of Black Hat Organization.
Get ready for another session of what you mustn't do in The Lost Cases of...
[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
A city that has one of the biggest and most dangerous collections of villains in--
[Narrator] Hey hey wait! Who the hell are you?
[Townsville Narrator] Me? I'm the narrator!
[Narrator] In your dreams! I'm the narrator!
[Townsville Narr.] What are you talking about?
I've always been the narrator of... The City of Townsville!
[Narrator] But we aren't in Townsville! [Townsville Narr.] But- [Narrator] Get out!
[Narrator] The City of Townsville!
A pacific place and always protected by- Ugh, I don't care.
Here's Lord Black Hat!
Welcome, infamous cockroaches!
Uh, sir...
I just wanted to say that today you look gloriously evil...
This time, we will analyze one of the most recognized and despicable villains of the City of Townsville
Mojo Jojo!
This primate is a bit more developed than the average human.
Sir, he's just a monkey that likes bananas.
All of you are the same to me.
Anyway... His big mistake is not hiring the services of Black Hat Organization.
There's only one thing I can do and probably will do and GOOD BYE!
Flug: Wait sir. Mojo is a black diamond platinum client of the organization and has spent millions in our products.
BH: Mojo Jojo, a disgusting and wicked primate and evil genius of Townsville.
Flug: Hey sir, isn't Townsville one of our many test zones for our manufactured monsters?
BH: If you interrupt me again you'll have to manufacture yourself a new head!
The attributes that make Mojo Jojo a more advanced specimen than the average human are his superior intellect...
Flug: But not superior to mine!
BH: ...he owns a large arsenal of lethal weapons and machinery...
Flug: ALMOST as lethal as the ones in our catalogue, sir!
BH: ...a diabolical lair at the top of a volcano....
Flug: That isn't as charming as a completely habitable giant top hat.
BH: ...and a looong list of purchases of the products from Black Hat Organization!
Flug: Designed and built by a true genius.
The ones who ruin his malevolent plans are his archenemies
The Flirtypuff Girls.
They're the Powerpuff Girls, my master and lord!
AAHH! AHH MY WEENIE!
BH: These Flirtypuff Girls are the protectors of this pathetic city
and they're just three kindergarten girls!
I don't need to see more, his mistake is losing his dignity, facing baby humans that haven't even developed fingers.
Flug: Frequent platinum client! Frequent platinum client!...
BH: Let's analyze his diabolical plans.
Ahh, Anubis' Head! One of the oldest AND MOST USELESS relics that exists!
The only thing he's going to achieve is turning the entire city into dogs!
What villain would want to rule a world filled with dogs?!
Instead he should've used the Quetzalcoatl head! THAT is a relic.
Narrator: A lethal relic with a deadly offer!
Now you can rent the Quetzalcoatl head to incinerate your heroic enemies and not worry about where you're going to put it when you've finished using it.
Rent it to destroy your hero, the hero league, your mother in law! Or the-
[Townsville Narrator] The City of Townsville!
Take advantage of this offer for the next 24 hours!
[Narrator] Get out of here! This is my show!
[Townsville Narr.] Hehehe, doesn't feel so good when someone wants to steal your job, huh?
[Narrator] LEAVE!
-Not so fast! -You evil...! -Chimp!
Listen to me, Powerpuff Girls.
You're no longer a threat to me.
BH: Ahh, I see he's fond of kicking adorable creatures, but he'll never beat my multiversal record of distance traveled with a kick!
Muahahaha!
You can't reach me here!
BH: Of course this ape is as pathetic as the rest of the bipeds that infest this planet.
Narrator: If you're so weak that a trio of adorable puppies can beat you,
then you need the Butt Cover of Black Hat Organization!
Wha-what are you doing here, Demencia?
I'm here to narrate, duuh!
Why does everyone want to steal my job today!
[Townsville Narr.] You all are stealing MY JOB, and you didn't even go to the Narration School!
[Demencia] Noo, but I found this!
[Both narrators] What?! [buzzing noises]
Flug: Demencia, and the Narrator?! Don't you know that they charge us per hour?!
Demencia: I thought that you were clever, Flug!
Isn't it obvious? Now I'M the Narrator and I've come to narrate a... 'Demencia Tip'!
Hello it's me, Demencia! And I'm here to help all of you weak villains, who can't even defend their butts with my...
Demencia tips!
In this case, like Mojo Jojo's, if a dog tried to bite your butt, all you have to do is...
OPEN AN UMBRELLA IN THEIR MOUTHS!
Oorrr... FILL THEIR HOUSE WITH RACCOONS!
Or you can shoot them...
With YOUR SILICONE GUN! Tralalaa, silicon power~
Flug: Demencia, get out! You're ruining everything! Demencia: [mocking noises]
Flug: Hatbots, GET HER. Lethal mode.
Demencia: [gasp] You'll NEVER CATCH ME ALIIIIVE!
BH: One of the biggest injustices that villains are forced to face is that they always fight teams of heroes.
To counter this, a mediocre villain must create their own team of villains.
In this case, Mojo Jojo pledges an alliance with Fuzzy Lumpkins, Princess Morebucks and [inaudible]
Flug: Why does that always happen when they say the true name of Him?
BH: When someone mentions his name, strange things happen.
When they mention mine, people die. To each their own.
MUAHAHA! YES, YES! AGAIN, AGAIN! MUAHAHA!
Flug: You see, my master, the evil alliance of Mojo seems to be victorious.
They managed to crush the Powerpuff Girls more than once!
BH: I've been in this world long enough to know that sentimentality is about to destroy this alliance.
I love you too!
Oh no...
I told you!
This is Moko Jono. She has brilliant plans on her mind that we should try!
Imagine all the people desperate to get to their destinations!
That's not evil, that's inconvenient!
It's totally legal to take everything that's completely white! So let's take them.
If it's legal to take them, you aren't stealing!
THE LOUDER YOU SHOUT, THE MORE PAIN FOR EVERYONE LISTENING!
-WE QUIT!
And I leave!
Come here!
Michelle!
Who's Michelle?
Moko, do you know
AAAAAAAH!
Flug: Err... Lord Black Hat had to go out to do... very horrible things.
I'll continue to analyze this subject, starting with the 10V3 rule.
Don't involve your heart. Don't be like that.
Let's look for Mojo and see what he's planning this time.
[Townsville Narr.] Ahh Mojo Jojo! What are you planning this time?
[Narrator] I already told you that this is MY show!
Ohh, Mojo Jojo, what are you planning this time?
If you hurt the professor--!
Why would I hurt
MY OWN FATHER?
-WHAT?!
Flug: What?
(WHAT?!)
The explosion that created you also affected me.
My small monkey brain started to mutate.
I always felt dwarfed by your tremendous physical abilities.
And my brilliant discoveries always went unnoticed.
It's not fair, not fair! That's too sad, shoo, shoo!
I understand you, my Mojito, I understand. Stay strong. [sniff]
...and never poor Mojo.
Jojo, I feel like a bully. Is there something I can do to make this better?
Give me superpowers too!
Okay!
My experience says that giving superpowers to creatures with sub-optimal intelligence never ends well, no?
Father?
Son?
Jethro!
Classic, he's using his enemy as a baseball bat. Lord Black Hat loves to do that!
Yes, I love doing that!
Who would have thought that you aren't as incompetent as we initially thought?
Wait and see, newbie. This always ends in disappointment.
So many weapons and evil plans!
AH! What are you doing! NO, Demencia, stop it!
Huh? But I'm not doing anything!
Ah, sorry. Post-traumatic stress.
Hey, wait, I remember!
You were the worst lab assistant I ever had!
And if I'm not mistaken, it was on the day that I...
...was busy working on the formula for the perfect little girls, when suddenly
you pushed me!
Who would think that having a monkey as an employee is a good idea?
You don't have to think too much to know that.
...and the birth of the Powerpuff Girls!
What?!
WHAAAT?!
What? You created the Powerpuff Girls? You're the one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence?
Whaaat? I created the Powerpuff Girls? I'm the one responsible for their birth and the reason for their existence?
How outrageous. He committed the classic mistakes of an evil genius!
These were his mistakes.
Number one: You can't involve affection. That disgusting feeling ruins everything.
5.0.5.: Baww!
Not now, my genetically altered baby. Daddy is working~
Number two: He doesn't shut up!
And after a long list of mistakes like excessive trust, using a cape,
and losing against baby humans, without a doubt his worst mistake is...
Creating his archenemies.
Who with two grams of brains is able to do such thing?!
It's unheard of! There's only one thing I can do to make this stupid ape better...
From one evil genius to another, Mojo, I'll say that this won't kill you...
Although you might wish it did.
And once again, everything is much worse thanks to
Lord Black Hat! And the orientation videos of Black Hat Organization!
SHUT UP ALREADY!
AAAAH!