Don't worry. Don't worry.
I know, it's hard to listen to me.
You all look like: We don't want to learn anything else!
Don't worry.
My talk doesn't have any kind of useful information.
I'm committed to not giving any da...
Audience: ...ta.
Very Good!
I just want to make you laugh for a wh...
Audience: ...ile.
I feel like Magdalena Fleitas.
No, not kidding.
I don't know if you lived this as I did but along the day
something happened to me and that's the shift of focus
of many ideas and preconceptions I had before.
I believe that is the common thread of the day:
the perspective shift;
to shift the focus.
I believe all the speakers, over all the talks,
made their best, did a great job
to challenge our perspective in different aspects.
Like Juli Garbulsky, just graduated from high school,
he could put into words
something we all think about schools and the education system.
I believe we could relate to his suffering,
we were mirrored in his helplessness
for being in an institution trying to get out of it,
anxious to leave.
And we all said "Poor Juli," until Andrea Casamento appeared
and she said her son was put in jail
with no reason and it was like "Get out, Juli."
(Laughter)
As a kid, he drew on the wall at home.
He drew himself in jail dreaming about planes.
And Andrea says: Do you want to know about prison?
Come and have a coffee at Serrano square
and you'll see what prison is.
Do you like planes?
Come to Ezeiza and you'll see the little planes.
(Applause)
Juli liked the Mathematical Olympiads at school.
Do you know about Mathematical Olympiads in prison?
Got a pair of sneakers?
Give it to me. How many left?
Good at Mathematics.
Want to know how many coins are there?
Get this, get out of here, kiddo.
Are you uneasy?
Go run in sandals like Jorge Drexler's marathonist,
and see if you are uncomfortable.
Juli didn't like the way he learned at school.
What about prison?
You learn like in Magdalenas Fleitas' classes.
All sing together.
Give me the nine c...
Audience: ...oins
Get out of he...
Audience: ...re
Forget about the snea...
Audience: ...kers.
You have to start from the bo...
Audience: ...ttom.
Or I slap your f...
Audience: ...ace.
Good, all ready for prison.
Congratulations. You can learn.
Then, Pepe appeared.
Pepe Menéndez right from Spain
to change schools, to Juli's delight.
He said that one of his students set out:
how can exploitation in child labor exist?
And I say, we know the answer, it sucks but we know it:
kids are cheap and take up little space.
Because they are small.
It sucks, I know it sucks,
but we aren't for silly questions, dear.
(Laughter)
And also, at least, nowadays,
kids make sneakers, iPhones.
When I was a kid, I had to make
portraits, pencil holders, far from that.
Every Mother's day, Father's day,
no holidays
and no contributions, anything.
Shift of focus.
(Laughter)
Another one changing education,
in this case in Ecuador, was Gloria Vidal.
Gloria Vidal said people asked for work
even as a teacher in Ecuador.
Terrible, even as a teacher.
Terrible, it meant the lowest position in the socioeconomic level.
In Ecuador, being a teacher is an insult.
But the awful part is when she says that public education
was privatized at a certain moment.
And a voluntary contribution had to be paid.
A voluntary contribution!
That is, if you want to, you have to pay, if not, don't come to this school.
That sucks.
Like "car guards" that say: "50 pesos, voluntarily."
It's an oxymoron.
"50 pesos voluntarily?
Yes, here you have, master.
(Laughter)
(Applause)
Gloria says that is good advise
to accept challenges and answer the calls.
And Andrea says mainly if they are collect calls
from your son from prison, don't make him hold on.
Then it was the turn of Teresa Punta,
in case five talks about education weren't enough,
we're going to listen to a sixth one.
Teresa Punta, who gave a beautiful talk as well.
Who talked about how her son who behaved badly at school,
had a teacher who, instead of excluding him, integrated him,
gave him extracurricular activities
and now, he teaches kids who misbehave at school.
And she also talked about Ayrton.
Ayrton could only pay attention
for 45 minutes periods.
The same with me
and it's just time in this talk
so I don't have a joke with Teresa.
So sorry.
Anyway, I didn't worry because then we had Diego Gutnisky
and he said we're about to get knowledge put straight into our neurons.
And I say, you made me listen to six talks about education...
(Laughter)
the shift of focus
should have been before that, I believe so.
I would have woken up at noon...
How do they work?
Like a flash drive.
I don't know where they put the USB to enter the information.
In the armpit, don't know.
Cool because they put it and it's like zoom!
Because they can put data
but also what they want.
They can put advertisement, spam.
Have to be careful there... zoom!
Oh! I know integrals and derivatives
but I want to eat something now, don't know what.
pate, mackerel, rice, peas.
I don't know. Sardine, tuna, corn, lentils.
Something that spices up my life,
from the moment I wake up.
(Applause)
And Diego also said
that each neuron respects its labor union.
Each neuron has a union and obeys it.
That's why a study says
a stroke is just a pair of neurons picketing,
setting on fire a pair of mitochondria
and the other neurons horn blowing
and yelling: "Hey! I'm late for work."
(Laughter)
In Argentina we must have some neurons missing
because see how crazy we must be
that the talk about traffic
had to be done by a specialist in psychiatry.
Do we really need a psychiatrist to talk about how we drive?
I picture José Nesis
analyzing the average Argentine driver:
Isn't that honk the expression
of your frustration for not wanting to go to your work?
Isn't that honk your restricted dreams' projection
for having to make 40 coffees to your nasty boss?
(Laughter)
Maybe you think you committed
a parking infraction and end up realizing
you want to bang your mother.
It's much deeper than we thought.
What José says is really good,
we have to start respecting ourselves
when we drive, now.
We don't have to wait for smart cars
because we have a lot ahead.
In fact, to me,
a car will start being considered smart,
every time you honk a girl
a hand from the airbag
will slap you for being a jerk.
I think there we might--
(Applause)
We honk for everything.
What the heck is wrong with us?
Everything.
There are people who still think
a traffic jam can be solved with a honk.
Do you think the ones ahead are going to disintegrate
just because you honk?
We honk for everything.
A study says we honk, most of the people honk,
because we are afraid of getting late to places, above all, work.
Hypothesis refuted by taxi drivers,
the ones who honk the most and already arrived at their work.
I don't know where they want to go, really.
(Laughter)
A lot, a lot ahead for smart cars.
We have to be smart first.
Then, we can start developing
artificial intelligence,
as Diego Fernández Slezak stated,
who says has a PhD in Computer Science
and got a PhD by accident.
What? By accident!
I had a skull fissure as a kid
against a pot by accident and I don't have a PhD.
I would say all the opposite.
Maybe, by accident you can be a comedian.
You can be one-armed by accident.
A father, if you want to, but a PhD, first time ever.
(Applause)
I like it as Diego says:
There will be AI
because in Terminator, they said there would AI--
What is he saying?
You are a scientist, a PhD.
I say it's kind of risky to be based on fiction
to predict the future.
Because Alf already predicted there's life in other planets
and they eat cats.
And Police Academy foresaw an official can be such a jerk
to put in prison a boy who didn't do anything,
he was at a café at Serrano Square, that's it.
(Applause)
Diego says that computers are more sharpie.
They diagnose patients only based on their clinical record.
They say they beat us at Chess for a long time.
Here, there's a very interesting shift of focus.
So, with my brother Joan, thanks to TEDxRíodelaPlata production,
we did a research.
A thorough experiment
to see other disciplines where computers can beat us.
Soccer is their weakness.
Unperturbed.
There I missed it but it was my lack of expertise.
It didn't move at any moment.
I'm celebrating a goal, yes.
It's not recorded but there a nurse took me by the hand,
did the doping test and saw a picket in the neuron.
Then, the antivirus was updated, but it couldn't be protected
even from a right jab.
In chess they can beat us, but not at boxing yet.
I'm so proud of this video.
And it diagnoses tennis elbow, but it can't hit back a ball.
(Laughter)
I tried. I pitched slowly.
I pitched from the left, right, with a backhand stroke.
There it hit back, but very slowly.
I got mad. Smash.
Obviously celebrating
because mankind won over computers.
(Applause)
I'm glad you take it as seriously as it deserves.
But he says computers are smart,
and that artificial intelligence is threatening us. I don't know,
until a computer or mobile needs to be charged
every 12 hours at least,
I won't feel threatened at all.
But I rely on Victoria Flexer,
who's at la Puna with lithium and brine.
Which I thought were useful
for preserving olives.
But she took it to another level
making batteries for an entire nation.
More useful than with olives.
She says brines are 10 times saltier
than sea water in Mar del Plata
but not as salty --expensive-- as the rent in the second half of January.
(Laughter)
I obeyed and now carry with me two packets of salt.
So if I run out of battery in my mobile,
I throw a little salt on top.
The bad news is: it doesn't work.
The good news:
I thought about a cool name for her talk,
I mean, salt generating power salt-generated power.
"Hyper-tension." She missed it.
She didn't see it. I stole it from her.
(Applause)
The one who actually saw things was Gerónimo Villanueva,
who works in the NASA, got him?
Who boasts around about his telescope...
(Laughter)
Galileo Galilei from Lanus, come on!
He has a great telescope but ultimately didn't say much.
He says he saw methane.
I mean... I don't know how.
He discovered that, apparently,
without jumping to conclusions,
if his estimates after 5 years are right, in Mars,
someone or something would have...
farted?
(Laughter)
Is that what he said? Did he talk about flatulence?
(Applause)
When someone from the NASA came here
I thought he'd talk about other rockets.
Fanaticism.
That started with a friend and a lighter.
He says: now I'm going to give meaning to my career,
my life has a purpose,
will there be farts in another planet?
(Laughter)
He's the best.
And was hired at the NASA!
Incredible, but don't underestimate him.
He rocks. They were gases but very far away...
In my building's consortium they are still arguing about
who farted in the elevator.
Was it Irma or Jorge?
I know it was her, she lives next door,
I smell what she cooks, it was her harvest.
(Laughter)
Well, I joke about farts and he is the one at the NASA
Please, allow me this.
And I don't totally agree with Daniel Schteingart.
He talked about data.
He says losing an argument is winning.
I say "no," he says "yes."
No. Losing an argument is losing.
Lose $ 100 and you won't see $ 200 in your account.
You can learn something, but you lost.
Don't talk to me about paradoxes.
This is science, TEDxRíodelaPlata.
And another thing I didn't like was that he argued a lot with his dad.
They argue a lot, but when they do they stop for a while
have some rest, have a shower then argue again.
I mean, how much information do you need to notice that's weird?
Taking a shower with your dad because you're arguing?
Who really raised her kids well, unlike his dad, is Melina Furman.
She raised and educated her children well.
Instead of answering their questions immediately, she makes them research,
find their own answers.
As in the worms, she unburied them, made them run.
It might sound pedagogical but it's somewhat cruel.
I mean, Meli, would you like it if giant worms came here
dig you up and make you run races?
And they ask their mom:
Why human beings still crash in the corners
and use paper bills?
And then their mother comes here
and gives a TEDxRíooftheWorms talk? No.
(Applause)
And another moving talk, which I considered wonderful
was that of Georgina Orellano.
Georgina, sexual worker, head of AMMAR,
who told us about how her boss made her do 40 coffees again
because the first ones were too cold.
Here the shift of focus
should be of some bosses and entrepreneurs and start thinking
why are there so many girls running risks
working at dawn, in unsafe neighborhoods,
exposing themselves, instead of working in their hellish offices.
But what I liked about Georgina is that I felt relatable to her.
Believe it or not a sexual worker's job is similar to that of a comedian
because, I don't know if you realize it I'm here with my body
laying my soul, pretending to be having a great time
but you're making me joke
on very tough issues.
(Laughter)
All for you to have a happy ending.
(Laughter)
(Applause)
Then there was Luciana Mantero also, to talk about fertility.
And she talked about early menopause which may sound bad
but it's a cool name for a punk band.
(Laughter)
Early menopause!
(Laughter)
And alerted us on having to worry
about the future of our fertility today
above all, because it is expensive and hard to freeze eggs.
Because you can't put them in the freezer
at your ice tray at home, and your friends come,
make a Fernet and drink your kids, Nooo, Valentino!
(Laughter)
I found, invented, a method
that is quite simpler and affordable
with which you can freeze up to 40 eggs.
You put one in each coffee prepared by Georgina--
(Laughter)
It's really cool, right?
(Laughter)
Another focus shift was proposed by Demian Reidel about the end of cash.
I don't quite agree.
If you want to get rid of cash, do it.
I'll be waiting there with a box,
you can leave it there for me I handle its disappearance.
But what I didn't like
was that he says bills enable money laundering.
The existence of bills favor money laundering.
On the other hand,
as bills go from hand to hand, they are really dirty.
I mean...come on, friend.
You don't like laundering and then you nag about dirt.
When I was a boy, a little patience--
I once was six days without having a bath
and my parents didn't change me for a virtual son.
I didn't arrive home and they were raising Sims
because I was not up to their standards of hygiene.
(Applause)
He says money is worse than weapons.
It hurts and kills more than weapons
How hard you have to throw a bill
for it to hurt you more than a gun?
It can cut you on the side, maybe but not really--
The one who's afraid to weapons is Teresa Bo.
Teresa, a "peace correspondent," she said.
War correspondent, come on!
War correspondent, no such thing as a peace correspondent.
As a kid she wanted to do that, she asked her parents
the "war correspondent" toy set.
That comes with a tiny helmet, bulletproof vest, a camera.
Ovaries are sold apart, because they are huge
so don't fit inside the tiny case.
(Applause)
Awful her Haiti story.
That the kids there ate mud cookies.
Do you recall that?
They ate mud cookies.
But the remarkable thing
was that it was full of Pitusas and they chose mud cookies.
They are so horrible.
(Laughter)
But it is fishy... she says she was in Iraq, Afghanistan,
Haiti, Venezuela, Mexico everywhere there was trouble.
She's a bit of a jinx!
(Laughter)
The risk we're running here
is that hell may break loose between the two sides
the two sides of the crack.
Those who think that they'd had enough education talks for a day.
and those three of you who would have preferred some more.
(Laughter)
I'm going to let you go because you're tired now,
and don't want to hear anything else, you're sleepy, I see it on your faces.
But before I go, I want to leave you a last thought
It's great to change perspective.
But don't exaggerate; those who came by car
don't let the 9000 people who came on foot get first.
A little bit of common sense.
The best thing we can do is to put ourselves in someone else's place,
unless it is a ramp or parking for the disabled,
in that case, get out!
Don't take it too literal.
(Applause)
It is great to want to get rid of cash
let's get rid of cash, but gradually,
or else next year this will be called TEDxRíooftheBitcoins
Let's take it slowly.
(Laughter)
But I know, I trust that you'll do cool things
because you've been here,
and that's good of you,
not like those lazy people watching via streaming.
And when I say lazy people I mean the people who did it best,
because they were all afternoon in underwear
and now won't have to leave with 10,000 at the same time
through the same door.
You just realize the drag, right?
(Laughter)
But well, summing up,
let's be nice with the people of this planet
or any planet in which people fart.
Trust yourselves, trust yourselves, except for you,
don't trust yourself, it's the worst thing you can do.
I traumatized her and she wonders why.
Let's forget about preconceptions, enjoy learning although it is tiresome.
Let's toast with cold coffee for every second of freedom we have
and throw smiles as those you threw at me.
That it was easy for you and you made me very happy.
Good thanks, many nights.
(Applause)