The Dover Boys at Pimento University or "The Rivals of Roquefort Hall"
Pimento University
Pimento U.
Good old P.U.
♪ Pimento U. Oh, sweet P.U. ♪
♪ Thy fragrant odor scents the air. ♪
♪ A pox on Yale. ♪
♪ Poo poo, Perdue. ♪
♪ Pimento U., my college fair. ♪
Out and away, the most popular fellows at...
Out and away, the most popular fellows at old P. U.
are the three Dover boys.
Tom, the fun-loving member of the trio.
Dick, a serious lad of 18 summers, plus a winter in Florida,
as related in The Dover boys in the Everglades.
And Larry, the youngest of the three jerks... brothers.
A gay outing at the park has been planned by the merry trio
and they are off to fetch their fiancée, Dainty Dora Standpipe
at Miss Cheddars' female academy, close by.
With their usual punctuality,
the boys arrive at the appointed hour of 3:00.
Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Yoohoo!
And are soon on their rollicking way.
Forced to pass a certain public house,
a tavern of unsavory repute,
our young friends meet the distressing situation
with their usual uncompromising, moral fortitude.
Little do they know that even now, within this very tavern,
Dan Backslide, the former sneak of Roquefort Hall,
coward, bully, cad, and thief,
and arch enemy of the Dover boys, squanders his misspent life.
Hark, the Dover boys. Drat them.
Double drat them.
They are escorting Dora Standpipe.
Dear, rich, Dora Standpipe!
How I love her...
father's money.
Confound those Dover boys!
Oh, how I hate them!
I hate Tom! I hate Dick! And I hate Larry!
They drive me to drink!
Confound them. [hiccups]
Con... found them!
But let us draw the curtain on this sordid scene,
and turn to more pleasant surroundings,
where we find our young friends engaged in a spirited game
of hide-go-and-seek.
15, 20, 25, 30, 35...
No! No! In here!
No, up here! Up here!
No! No! Over here! Over here!
Over here!
In here!
No! No! In here!
No, in here!
Over here!
In here!
No! Here!
In Here!
No! Here!
510, 515...
Over here! Over here!
No, over here!
In here!
Opps, sorry.
Over here!
No, no, over here!
Over here!
No! In here!
The Dover boys.
Then Dora must be alone and unprotected!
A runabout. I'll steal it! No one will ever know!
1,250, 1,255...
..1,490, 1,500.
Here I come, ready or not.
Help! Help!
Save me!
Help, Tom!
Help, Dick!
Help, Larry!
[gasping]
Help! Help! Save me! Save me!
Help! Help! Save me! Save me! Help!
Help!
Help! Help! Help! Tom!
Help! Save me!
Help! Larry!
Poor Dora, will no one save her from this predicament?
Will no one come to her assistance?
But hold on! What's this?
It looks like an alert young Scout.
And that's just what it is.
He'll not fail her, I'll venture.
Telegram for the Dover boys. Messrs. Tom, Dick, and Larry,
care of Wayward Tavern, Upper Bottleneck, New York.
Sirs, quote, HELP!, unquote. Signed Dora.
35 cents collect.
Help! Help! Help! Help!
Save me! Save me!
Save me! Help! Save me!
Help! Help! Save me! Save me!
Help! Help! Help! Save me!
Help, Tom!
Help, Dick!
Help, Larry!
♪ Oh Dora dear, sweet Dora dear, ♪
♪ Keep courage up and chin up high. ♪
♪ The stalwart sons of old P.U. ♪
♪ Are here at hand to do or die. ♪
P.U., P.U., we're all for you, yeah, boom!
Unhand her, Dan Backslide.
Hey, we're getting in a rut.
Stand up and fight, you coward, bully, cad, and thief.
Oh, you haven't been thrashed enough yet, eh?
And now it is time to say goodbye.
Goodbye.
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