WEBVTT 00:00:00.610 --> 00:00:01.990 Hello, I'm Doctor Alan Wolfelt, 00:00:02.440 --> 00:00:06.190 and I serve as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition 00:00:06.360 --> 00:00:07.329 in Colorado. 00:00:08.189 --> 00:00:12.329 I've had the privilege of walking with and learning from thousands of 00:00:12.340 --> 00:00:15.409 people like yourself who've had the death of someone in their life. 00:00:16.110 --> 00:00:19.170 I, too, have had many people in my own life that have died. 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:22.780 And one central truth that I've come to understand 00:00:23.239 --> 00:00:24.979 is that when words are inadequate, 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:26.450 we need ceremony. 00:00:27.110 --> 00:00:30.680 Ceremony is not about closure. It's really about a good beginning. 00:00:35.990 --> 00:00:38.819 I often say that funerals or gatherings help us know 00:00:38.830 --> 00:00:41.819 what to do when we do not know what to do. 00:00:42.540 --> 00:00:46.970 Since the beginning of time and across cultures, when somebody in our life dies, 00:00:47.250 --> 00:00:52.400 we as human beings come together to acknowledge a new reality that someone, in fact, 00:00:52.409 --> 00:00:54.119 who we have given love to and 00:00:54.259 --> 00:00:56.189 receive love from has died, 00:00:57.159 --> 00:01:01.139 to recall their life, to begin to shift from presence to memory. 00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:04.870 As someone, in fact, beautifully said, "death ends a life. 00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:07.059 It does not end a relationship." 00:01:08.220 --> 00:01:12.959 We come together to activate support of our extended family, our friends, 00:01:12.970 --> 00:01:15.500 our body of community to let them know that, 00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:19.800 in fact, we do have special needs. And one of those is to invite you into our world 00:01:20.000 --> 00:01:23.199 and to provide support at a time when words are inadequate. 00:01:24.029 --> 00:01:26.389 And certainly, expression is a part of why we have 00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.360 funerals and have since the beginning of time because we take, 00:01:29.639 --> 00:01:31.900 how that loss impacts our heart, 00:01:32.440 --> 00:01:33.599 impacts our head. 00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:37.819 We take that grief that's within us and we find ways to take it outward. 00:01:38.169 --> 00:01:42.300 In fact, mourning means the shared social response to loss 00:01:42.510 --> 00:01:44.239 or grief gone public. 00:01:44.489 --> 00:01:46.809 By having a funeral in a public forum and 00:01:46.819 --> 00:01:49.239 inviting people to come in to gather with you, 00:01:49.559 --> 00:01:53.910 you allow people to give you love at a time when you certainly deserve it.