1
00:00:00,610 --> 00:00:01,990
Hello, I'm Doctor Alan Wolfelt,

2
00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,190
and I serve as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition

3
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:07,329
in Colorado.

4
00:00:08,189 --> 00:00:12,329
I've had the privilege of walking with and learning from thousands of

5
00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:15,409
people like yourself who've had the death of someone in their life.

6
00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:19,170
I, too, have had many people in my own life that have died.

7
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,780
And one central truth that I've come to understand

8
00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:24,979
is that when words are inadequate,

9
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,450
we need ceremony.

10
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,680
Ceremony is not about closure. It's really about a good beginning.

11
00:00:35,990 --> 00:00:38,819
I often say that funerals or gatherings help us know

12
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,819
what to do when we do not know what to do.

13
00:00:42,540 --> 00:00:46,970
Since the beginning of time and across cultures, when somebody in our life dies,

14
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:52,400
we as human beings come together to acknowledge a new reality that someone, in fact,

15
00:00:52,409 --> 00:00:54,119
who we have given love to and

16
00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:56,189
receive love from has died,

17
00:00:57,159 --> 00:01:01,139
to recall their life, to begin to shift from presence to memory.

18
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,870
As someone, in fact, beautifully said, "death ends a life.

19
00:01:04,879 --> 00:01:07,059
It does not end a relationship."

20
00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:12,959
We come together to activate support of our extended family, our friends, 

21
00:01:12,970 --> 00:01:15,500
our body of community to let them know that,

22
00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,800
in fact, we do have special needs. And one of those is to invite you into our world

23
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,199
and to provide support at a time when words are inadequate.

24
00:01:24,029 --> 00:01:26,389
And certainly, expression is a part of why we have

25
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,360
funerals and have since the beginning of time because we take,

26
00:01:29,639 --> 00:01:31,900
how that loss impacts our heart,

27
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,599
impacts our head.

28
00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:37,819
We take that grief that's within us and we find ways to take it outward.

29
00:01:38,169 --> 00:01:42,300
In fact, mourning means the shared social response to loss

30
00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:44,239
or grief gone public.

31
00:01:44,489 --> 00:01:46,809
By having a funeral in a public forum and

32
00:01:46,819 --> 00:01:49,239
inviting people to come in to gather with you,

33
00:01:49,559 --> 00:01:53,910
you allow people to give you love at a time when you certainly deserve it.