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Hello, I'm Doctor Alan Wolfelt,

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and I serve as the Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition

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in Colorado.

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I've had the privilege of walking with and learning from thousands of

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people like yourself who've had the death of someone in their life.

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I, too, have had many people in my own life that have died.

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And one central truth that I've come to understand

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is that when words are inadequate,

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we need ceremony.

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Ceremony is not about closure. It's really about a good beginning.

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I often say that funerals or gatherings help us know

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what to do when we do not know what to do.

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Since the beginning of time and across cultures, when somebody in our life dies,

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we as human beings come together to acknowledge a new reality that someone, in fact,

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who we have given love to and

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receive love from has died,

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to recall their life, to begin to shift from presence to memory.

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As someone, in fact, beautifully said, "death ends a life.

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It does not end a relationship."

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We come together to activate support of our extended family, our friends,

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our body of community to let them know that,

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in fact, we do have special needs. And one of those is to invite you into our world

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and to provide support at a time when words are inadequate.

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And certainly, expression is a part of why we have

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funerals and have since the beginning of time because we take,

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how that loss impacts our heart,

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impacts our head.

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We take that grief that's within us and we find ways to take it outward.

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In fact, mourning means the shared social response to loss

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or grief gone public.

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By having a funeral in a public forum and

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inviting people to come in to gather with you,

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you allow people to give you love at a time when you certainly deserve it.