WEBVTT

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It's not difficult to predict
for this story of mine

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biased, ambiguous
and scandalized judgments.

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In any case, I want to state here and now
that however la ricotta is taken,

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the story of the passion,
which la ricotta indirectly recalls,

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is for me the greatest event
that has ever happened

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and the books that recount it
the most sublime ever written.

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Damn it.

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Got a temperature?

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Stracci, you're finished.

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Yes, of course.

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I slept outside last night.
The garbage man woke me up.

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Then you're not eating?

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Not eating? Yeah, right.

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Better hide your lunch,
or I'll eat that too.

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What did you say?

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That reminds me: The wife and kids
are coming to eat today.

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Who knows what saint will help me.

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You've got your pick here today.

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With all these saints,
it's like a museum around here!

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Anything wrong with the saints?

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St. Sly there stole from god
to feed the dog.

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Just look how it eats:

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Caviar, steak...

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saints, did you eat
the whole last supper?

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I'm a poor starving man.

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Nothing left?
You ate it all?

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Shut up
or I'll excommunicate you.

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The crown.

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The crown!

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Places, everyone! We're ready!

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The record!

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Not that one!

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You're worse than the men
who rolled dice at the foot of the cross!

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Publicans! Blasphemers!

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The Scarlatti record!

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Camera!

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2050, take one.

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Action!

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Come on, prompter.
Do your job.

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O sorrowing spirit.

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O bewildered mother's son.

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O desperate mother's son.

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O martyred son.

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O chaste, rose-pink son.

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O peerless son.

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No, Valentina!

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What's with that face?
This isn't the comédie française!

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Action!

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O sorrowing spirit.

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O bewildered mother's son.

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O bewildered mother's son.

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O martyred son.

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Get the negro out of there!

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Sonia, remember
you're at Christ's feet!

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Stop thinking about your dog!

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Camera!

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2,050, take three.

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Action.

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Prompter, wake up!

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O sorrowing spirit...

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half-wits! Now we'll have
to start all over again!

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Sonia, step out please.
We've got to start again.

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- Camera.
- 2,050, take four.

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Action.

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Amorosi, stop picking your nose
and take your position!

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Giovanni, did you get some lunch?

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Here it is.

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Eat up.

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- What about you?
- Me?

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I'm out of luck, as usual.

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What can you do?

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Enjoy it.

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Thanks, Giovanni.
See you tonight.

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- Where are you going?
- I've got business.

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I'm gonna get work as an extra.

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- Where are you going?
- I've got business too.

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Finished the whole thing already?

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What an appetite!

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I want to go to Terracina

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and have lunch on the plain

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I'll eat a cow whole
and a sheep still in its wool

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you look like my dad.

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Idiot.

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Hey, you bastard!

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That's my lunch!

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Damn you!

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Drop my lunch
or I'll throttle you,

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you dirty thief!

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Bastard!

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Think that was a nice thing to do?

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Think you're better than me
'cause you belong to a star?

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May I have a word?

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Excuse me.
I hope I'm not disturbing.

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I'm a journalist.

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Go on.

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I'd like to get a little interview.

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- No more than four questions.
- Thanks.

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First: What do you mean to express
with this new work?

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My intimate, profound,

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archaic Catholicism.

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What do you think
of Italian society?

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The most illiterate masses

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and the most ignorant
bourgeoisie in Europe.

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And what do you think of death?

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As a Marxist,
I never give it any thought.

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Fourth and last question:

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What do you think of
our great director Federico Fellini?

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He dances.

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He dances.

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Thank you, congratulations
and good-bye.

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"I am a force from the past..."

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it's a poem.

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In the first part, the poet describes
certain ancient ruins

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whose style and history
no one any longer understands,

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and certain hideous modern buildings
that everyone understands.

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Then he resumes:

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"I am a force from the past.

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Tradition is my only love.

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I come from the ruins, churches,

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altarpieces, forgotten hamlets

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in the Apennines
and the foothills of the alps

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where dwell our brothers.

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I walk the Tuscolana way
like a madman,

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the Appian way
like a dog without a master.

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I behold the twilight,
the mornings over Rome,

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over 'ciociaria',

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over the world,

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like the first acts of post-history,

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which I witness
by privilege of birth

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from the utmost edge
of some buried age.

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Monstrous is the man born

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from the bowels of a dead woman.

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And I,

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adult foetus,

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wander, more modern
than any modern...

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in search of brothers...

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who are no more."

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Did you understand anything?

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Sure, a lot.

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You walk the Tuscolana way...

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write down what I tell you.

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You understood nothing
because you're an average man, right?

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Well, yeah.

00:14:21.627 --> 00:14:24.797
But you don't know
what an average man is.

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He's a monster.

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A dangerous criminal.

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Conformist,

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colonialist,

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racist,

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slave trader,

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a mediocrity!

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Have you got a bad heart?

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No, thank god.

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Too bad, because if you
were to drop dead right here,

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it'd be good publicity
for the film's release.

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You don't exist anyway.

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Capital acknowledges
the existence of labour

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only insofar as it serves production.

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And the producer of my film
is the owner of your paper as well.

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Good-bye.

00:15:41.273 --> 00:15:44.009
- What are you doing picking flowers?
- Nothing else to do.

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Nothing else to do.

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- And what are you waiting for?
- That's our business.

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Your business.

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What a nice dog.
What kind is it?

00:16:06.231 --> 00:16:09.435
What breed is it?
A Pomeranian?

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He's adorable.

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What's his name?

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Bastard.

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He's so sweet.
If he could just talk, he'd be perfect.

00:16:19.545 --> 00:16:20.746
You like him?

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A lot!

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- Want to make a deal?
- What kind of deal?

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I'll sell him to you.

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I don't have much on me.
Will you take a check?

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Give me a thousand lira
and we'll call it even.

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I've got a thousand lira.
Here.

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Cheese man!

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I'll buy all you've got!

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The good thief!

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The good thief!

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Nail them up.

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Here I am.

00:18:09.088 --> 00:18:12.624
Come on, slaves. Nail me up.

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Climb on
and I'll nail you down good.

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Boy, I ate too much.
My stomach's about to explode.

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- Did you eat, Stracci?
- What kind of question is that?

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Here, Stracci, have a bite.

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You thirsty? Want a drink?

00:18:56.935 --> 00:18:59.338
Natalina!

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Come here a minute.

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Whaddaya want?

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Don't make a fuss.
Come here.

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Listen, do us a favour.

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Do a striptease for us.
See Stracci over there?

00:19:15.687 --> 00:19:18.157
You have to do it in front of him.

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What have you got to lose?

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We'll pay you. Come on.

00:19:23.695 --> 00:19:25.164
Give us a tune.

00:19:25.164 --> 00:19:33.839
Play some of that Arab music.

00:19:33.839 --> 00:19:36.575
What are you waiting for?

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Start stripping.

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Silence!

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Musician, don't swallow
your instrument!

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- Begone, she-devil!
- Flower of the orient!

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Ali Baba's mistress!

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Carry the crosses up.

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Get a move on with those crosses!
You're like slugs this morning!

00:20:52.015 --> 00:20:53.952
We ought to have a whip!

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Run! Come on, run!

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Start the record, please.

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Come with me.

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Ettore, you're some angel!
What are you doing?

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- I can try, can't I?
- Try spreading your wings.

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She's the one who should have
done the striptease.

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What scene are you setting up?

00:22:33.618 --> 00:22:37.356
Listen, darling, you shoot my scene
or I take off. Fair is fair.

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Right. I'd forgotten.

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Do the other scene.

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Leave them nailed down.

00:23:18.163 --> 00:23:27.839
Leave them nailed down!

00:23:27.839 --> 00:23:34.045
Take it easy.

00:23:34.045 --> 00:23:37.549
I'm hungry.
I'm gonna start cursing.

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You do and I'll let you have it.

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A fine Christ you are.
Think I've got no right to grumble?

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Suit yourself, but I won't take you
into the kingdom of heaven.

00:23:48.427 --> 00:23:50.896
I'd settle for the kingdom of earth.

00:23:50.896 --> 00:23:53.398
Especially now that
your party's in power.

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As if yours is any better?
They're all the same.

00:23:57.202 --> 00:23:59.771
I don't get you.

00:23:59.771 --> 00:24:04.342
You're always hungry, yet you stay
with those who starve you.

00:24:04.342 --> 00:24:08.113
Some have one calling,
others another.

00:24:08.113 --> 00:24:14.619
My calling must have been to starve.

00:24:14.619 --> 00:24:17.422
Places, please.
We've no time to lose.

00:24:17.422 --> 00:24:21.927
Get the seamstress out of there!

00:24:21.927 --> 00:24:25.764
Put on the record.

00:24:25.764 --> 00:24:35.064
No, not that one, you heathens!

00:24:35.064 --> 00:25:00.031
Remember, the director
wants you to keep perfectly still.

00:25:00.031 --> 00:25:05.604
- Camera.
- 442, take one.

00:25:05.604 --> 00:25:09.508
Action.

00:25:09.508 --> 00:25:11.042
No, not like that.

00:25:11.042 --> 00:25:16.081
Do it again.
More rapture, more piety.

00:25:16.081 --> 00:25:19.317
No, I told you to keep still.

00:25:19.317 --> 00:25:21.286
Stop waving those arms around.

00:25:21.286 --> 00:25:22.854
Stop!

00:25:22.854 --> 00:25:30.228
You're a figure on an altarpiece.
You got that?

00:25:30.228 --> 00:25:35.333
What a shame! What a shame!

00:25:35.333 --> 00:25:38.067
I'll bash your heads in,
you lazy cowards!

00:25:38.067 --> 00:25:59.658
You have no respect,
you blasphemers!

00:25:59.658 --> 00:26:01.056
Yes, ma'am.

00:26:01.056 --> 00:26:04.863
Let's start again.

00:26:04.863 --> 00:26:06.932
Camera.

00:26:06.932 --> 00:26:09.968
Imploring, you hear?
And keep still!

00:26:09.968 --> 00:26:15.774
- 442, take two.
- Action!

00:26:15.774 --> 00:26:17.943
There goes the sun.

00:26:17.943 --> 00:26:26.418
Farewell, Phoebus.

00:26:26.418 --> 00:27:13.465
Unnail them.

00:27:13.465 --> 00:27:20.872
How funny!

00:27:20.872 --> 00:27:39.457
It's "the Stracci show"!

00:27:39.457 --> 00:27:45.363
Give him something good to eat!

00:27:45.363 --> 00:27:47.132
Suck on these!

00:27:47.132 --> 00:27:57.942
Watch out for the little chicks!

00:27:57.942 --> 00:28:11.823
Here, rinse your mouth out.

00:28:11.823 --> 00:29:27.565
That's enough appetizers.
Have some spaghetti.

00:29:27.565 --> 00:29:31.202
The lightning and thunder!
Quick, you idiot!

00:29:31.202 --> 00:29:42.647
Let's have some thunder now!

00:29:42.647 --> 00:29:52.724
Now the wind!

00:29:52.724 --> 00:29:56.528
So you finally found us
in this wasteland!

00:29:56.528 --> 00:31:05.023
Welcome!

00:31:05.023 --> 00:31:07.565
Hey, Stracci,
you remember your line?

00:31:07.565 --> 00:31:09.801
Don't mess up now!
All the press from Rome is here!

00:31:09.801 --> 00:31:12.503
The producer's here!
You understand?

00:31:12.503 --> 00:31:15.773
Politicians, actors and actresses,
journalists...

00:31:15.773 --> 00:31:23.848
come on.
Let's hear your line.

00:31:23.848 --> 00:31:28.152
"Lord, remember me
when thou comest into thy kingdom."

00:31:28.152 --> 00:31:33.091
Once again!

00:31:33.091 --> 00:31:39.864
Come on!
What are you waiting for?

00:31:39.864 --> 00:31:42.734
"Lord, remember me

00:31:42.734 --> 00:32:03.421
when thou comest into thy kingdom."

00:32:03.421 --> 00:32:04.589
Quiet.

00:32:04.589 --> 00:32:10.895
Quiet! We're shooting!

00:32:10.895 --> 00:32:12.073
Camera.

00:32:12.073 --> 00:32:16.401
2,150, take one.

00:32:16.401 --> 00:32:21.139
Action.

00:32:21.139 --> 00:32:26.778
Come on, Stracci.
"Lord, remember me..."

00:32:26.778 --> 00:32:36.254
action!

00:32:36.254 --> 00:32:51.869
What's the matter with him?

00:32:51.869 --> 00:32:54.539
He's dead.

00:32:54.539 --> 00:32:56.774
Poor Stracci.

00:32:56.774 --> 00:33:20.498
He had to die to remind us
that he too was alive.

00:33:20.498 --> 00:33:25.525
The end

00:33:25.525 --> 99:59:59.999
dinieghista