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I had a request for a talk yesterday,

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which I promised I would give today,

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for someone who is asking the question,

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"Is happiness really possible

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in our modern life,

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or are we always going to have to

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have suffering and problems

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and difficulties in our life?"

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So, it's a talk about happiness

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and obviously, many of you know that

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Buddhist monks are supposed to be

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the happiest people in the world -- that

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was the findings from Professor

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Davidson of Wisconsin University.

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And, that's objective

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in other words, that's what they

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find on a functional

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Magnetic Resonance (fMRI) scan
of a person's brain.

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So, surely that Buddhists should know

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something about happiness and its causes.

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And for those of you who know basic

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Buddhism, that's the whole purpose of the

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Four Noble Truths.

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The basic teachings of the Buddha, the

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heart of this thing we call, "Buddhism."

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You may say, and it's accurate

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to say, it's all about the Four Noble

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Truths, and you also know that the

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way I've been teaching the Four Noble

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Truths for many years now, is

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rearranging the Four Noble Truths

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and talking about: happiness, it's cause,

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sometimes we are happy, and why

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we're not happy.

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Those four Noble Truths:

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happiness, the cause of happiness,

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that sometimes we're unhappy,

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why we're unhappy.

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And, that to me made so much sense

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when I was a young man, because

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really I thought the essence of all

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religions was basically the answer to

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two questions: "what is happiness"

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and, "how do I get it."

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If I knew those two answers, then you'd

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have all the religion you
really wanted in the world.

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Because all the other theories,

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and philosophies and theologies

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and all that sort of stuff

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was all very well to talk about,

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but what I was really concerned with

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in my life, was, you know, the problem

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of happiness and suffering

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and how to overcome the suffering

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and find real true happiness.

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So, the question of, "is there happiness

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in this world," from personal experience

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I can say yes, there certainly is.

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Real happiness, true happiness.

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But it's also fascinating
in my life's journey to find

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that that happiness lies in places where

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people just don't even look.

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And it's because we don't
look in those places

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that many people will live their whole

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life and never actually
experience the deep,

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peaceful, wonderful happinesses

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which are possible in life.

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But first of all, I'm sort of saying about

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what happiness is and how to get it.

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Now all this -- is start talking -- in

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this little presentation today, about why

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is it that people have problems in life?

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What is the cause of unhappiness in life?

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Why do people keep getting

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into these unhappy states?

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Certainly there is part of life

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which is beyond one's control,

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there are the difficulties and pains

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of life: the death of a loved one,

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the disappointments in one's career,

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the problems with one's children,

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the arguments with one's partner,

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the pain of sickness in the body,

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or just the basic getting caught in

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traffic jams when you're on the way

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to the Buddhist Society.

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The basic sufferings in life

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are there but they're
not the real sufferings.

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The point is, that one of the things
which the Buddha

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says, is it's the attachment --

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carrying those burdens around

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more than they should be.

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And that's where I'm going to start

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this talk today.

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Why is it that people get

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attached to suffering?

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And that's basically what it is.

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Many years ago, I was privileged to give a

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talk at a grief and loss conference

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in Observation City.

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It was a national conference

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on grief and loss

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all run by some psychologists

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and psychiatrists.

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And, I remember giving a presentation

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there, just after there'd been

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a presentation by the parents

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of, I think, Ciara Glennon, one of the

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young ladies who was killed by the

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'Claremont Killer, ' (still not found

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who exactly did that)

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and they're expressing just their pain

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at the loss of their daughter.

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I think a young girl, I think she was a

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lawyer, successful, beautiful, who

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just disappeared one night

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and her body was found

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sometime later, by the 'Claremont

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Killer, ' whoever that was.

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And apparently that session (which I did

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not attend myself) created a great feeling

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of suffering and angst amongst the

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people in the conference.

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And I came along with my usual

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positive attitude on
how to deal with death.

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It's not just my positive attitude,

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because I had lived in Thailand

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for nine years and it's one of those

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sayings which comes from my experience.

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In nine years, if you like research,

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and my research was actually

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attending funeral after funeral after

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funeral, cremation after cremation

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because our monastery in Thailand

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was a local cremation ground.

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We hang out with the ghosts.

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Which was actually a very
peaceful place to stay.

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When I was wandering,
you wanted to get away

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from people 'cause you know,

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I was a monk
I like a bit of peace and quiet,

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Ajahn Chah always used to tell us

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that when you want to stay somewhere

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at night time, ask the local village

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where the cremation ground is,

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it'd be like an open area in a forest

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and you go and stay there.

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It's the most peaceful place

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because the villagers are too scared

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to come and visit you. [laughter]

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So I really loved those ghosts

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for protecting me, they were my

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bodyguards, my minders to keep all

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the people away, so I could meditate

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quietly and peacefully.

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So, good on you ghosts!

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But that particular forest monastery

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Wat Pah Nanachat
that was like a ghost monastery

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because they had a cremation ground there

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but also, I used to see so many funeral

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services, again and again and again.

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And because you were dependent upon those

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villagers for your alms food, you'd

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see them every morning.

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You'd go into their village.

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And these are the people you grew up with.

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I remember, just I was nine years in

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Thailand mostly that monastery,

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when I came over here,

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to help start this monastery over in

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Serpentine and help support

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this Buddhist Society of Western

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Australia, I think it was about

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four or five years before I had the

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chance to go back to that village

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and as soon as I went back there,

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getting back into that monastery
in the late afternoon,

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the first time the villagers knew I

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was there, was when I went on Alms Round,

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see all these ladies and men

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and they looked up,

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"It's Ajahn Brahm!" and they'd start

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crying because
you did become part of the village.

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I was one of them,
had gone away for about four / five

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years and come back again.

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And that's actually how close we

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were knitted into that community.

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And I mention that point simply because

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it establishes a fact that I didn't

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just see these people at the funeral

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services, I saw them before,

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I saw them afterwards.

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These are the people I knew.

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I never saw grief.

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I never saw people crying.

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It was actually once, I must admit, in

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all those nine years, that once I saw a

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tear, maybe just one or two drops of

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tears fall down the cheek,

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of one lady who lost her husband.

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But apart from that, there was no

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solid grief like you see here
in Western Australia.

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And it wasn't that it was

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suppressed, it was just people

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solaced in a different attitude,

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they weren't so attached

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to their loved ones.

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And to me it was a revelation

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and what I said at the conference,

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that there is a difference, a separation

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between grief and loss.

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Loss will always be there.

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But grief, is an added extra.

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And seeing a culture -- and that northeast

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part of Thailand had not been affected

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by any other western influence

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so it was like a pure old Buddhist culture

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and when you actually saw just how

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that pure Buddhist culture related to a

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death, it was a revelation to see that

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there was a society where grief
basically did not exist.

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And, it showed me that our grief

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is a cultural addition.

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There is another way of looking at it.

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And why is it that we attach to
that sort of suffering?

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And basically, it's the

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same reason (you may not agree with

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me on this, but) I'm challenging you here.

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It's the same reason, why it is
that we go to see these weepy movies,

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because we like to cry.

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We actually encourage
these emotions inside of us.

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We like to feel emotional.

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There is a lady who comes here,

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she's not here this evening, thank

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goodness [audience laughter], but she

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once told me that her mother

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would always love going

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to see these weepy movies,

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these Chinese movies and
she described them to me.

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Apparently the Chinese movies,
there's enough people here from

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Malaysia, Singapore here, Hong Kong

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that you know what I'm talking about --

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boy meets girl, but boy never gets girl!

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Either the family or the Imperial Army

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or some other tragedy gets in the way

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[audience laughing] and in the end,

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boy and girl, are killed or separated.

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And they know that's going to happen!

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Every movie is the same.

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It's always a sad ending.

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So her mother would come back from

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the weekly trip to the movies,

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with red eyes, she'd been crying all the

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way through, all the way home, and she

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asked, "What the heck you do that for?"

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"Ah, 'cause it's nice to cry.

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It's so sad

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and so enjoyable to feel sad."

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[audience laughing]

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Now, that's not so funny, because

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at this conference, there's always

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key experiences which happen in

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my life, and it was after I gave

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that little presentation

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on how to look at life and

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death in a different way,
so you don't have to be sad.

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A lady came up to me

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and said, "What's wrong with being sad,"

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because she'd lost a close relation

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in tragic circumstances, and she'd been

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grieving about 5 or 6 years,

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and there's no way she would
give up her grief.

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What I saw, in that lady, she was attached

273
00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:03,240
to grieving.

274
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,450
That was her persona.

275
00:11:04,450 --> 00:11:06,330
She would go to conference after

276
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:09,730
conference, therapist after therapist,

277
00:11:09,730 --> 00:11:14,210
it was her identity to be the griever.

278
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,730
That's one of our big problems there.

279
00:11:16,730 --> 00:11:18,870
Sometimes we form our identities,

280
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:20,921
we attach to that suffering, and that's

281
00:11:20,921 --> 00:11:22,410
'me.'

282
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:26,620
We become the victims.

283
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:30,580
And we enjoy, in a perverse way, being

284
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,310
that victim.

285
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:35,240
We enjoy the grief.

286
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,570
There's one of the sayings of the Buddha

287
00:11:38,570 --> 00:11:40,690
which you see again and again in the

288
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:44,010
original teachings, he's saying all these

289
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:46,040
negative emotions, like grief, like anger,

290
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,420
like jealousy, even like fear,

291
00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:53,550
he said there is a delight there.

292
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:55,040
If there wasn't a delight,

293
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,260
then people wouldn't get into the fear, or

294
00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,510
into the jealousy, or into the anger.

295
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:02,560
'Cause you know that when you feel angry,

296
00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:04,970
sometimes people do feel the power.

297
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:06,920
And it's like a heroin or like a

298
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,700
methamphetamine.

299
00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:13,000
You know, you're empowered at that time.

300
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,070
There is a delight in those states,

301
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:17,630
which is why people get into being angry

302
00:12:17,630 --> 00:12:21,060
or into being violent, into being jealous

303
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:24,910
or actually even into being grief.

304
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,840
There is a delight there.

305
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,640
And this is one of the wonderful sayings
of the Buddha.

306
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:33,540
Because there is a delight there,
that's why people attach to those things.

307
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:34,970
But the reason why they don't

308
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:36,920
let go is because they see the delight

309
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,740
but they don't see the danger.

310
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:42,090
With anger, yeah, you get a high,

311
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:44,312
but you have to pay for that afterwards.

312
00:12:44,312 --> 00:12:46,870
It's like a drug.

313
00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:48,790
And many of the other negative emotions

314
00:12:48,790 --> 00:12:51,450
which we have, like jealousy, yeah you

315
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:55,630
get a sense of being the one left out,

316
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:59,990
but you have to pay for it afterwards.

317
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,220
Grief, you feel that, yeah,

318
00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:03,920
that you are the victim.

319
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,760
But my goodness, how much

320
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,490
you have to pay.

321
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,550
And it's those attachments
to those negative

322
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:13,910
emotions, especially the attachment to the

323
00:13:13,910 --> 00:13:18,130
pain of the past, that stops us being

324
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:22,640
free to be happy.

325
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,640
This morning I went to a little conference

326
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,110
run by the Catholic Education
Society or Center.

327
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:31,370
It was for the teachers and the

328
00:13:31,370 --> 00:13:32,940
counseling education system.

329
00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:36,180
It was about reconciliation
and forgiveness.

330
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:38,370
And there's some very good speakers there

331
00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:40,440
from an Assistant Commissioner to

332
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,590
Michelle Stubbs, who's the coordinator,

333
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,350
I think, of the victims of child abuse.

334
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:50,090
It's like a huge problem in
our modern society.

335
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,840
How many people have been

336
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:54,220
sexually or physically abused when

337
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:56,140
they were children.

338
00:13:56,140 --> 00:14:00,300
And how the heck do we deal with that.

339
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,140
And, what was being suggested

340
00:14:03,140 --> 00:14:06,160
was and this is an interesting
thing, that many of

341
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,170
those victims of child sexual

342
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:12,490
abuse feel that they need to have their

343
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:15,930
day in court to be heard, to have their

344
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,550
pain acknowledged, and to have

345
00:14:18,550 --> 00:14:22,000
some sort of retribution.

346
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,641
Our society asks for more

347
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:27,580
than retribution, asks for

348
00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,000
punishment: jail sentences,

349
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,620
non-jail sentences.

350
00:14:31,620 --> 00:14:37,870
Some people would want corporal punishment
or even executions.

351
00:14:37,870 --> 00:14:39,980
But, on part of that

352
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,460
debate, I was sitting next to a Catholic

353
00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:45,000
Priest who told me an anecdote from

354
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,390
the United States, where some of the

355
00:14:48,390 --> 00:14:50,980
relations of a person who was, I think

356
00:14:50,980 --> 00:14:55,730
killed, murdered, attended the execution

357
00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:58,490
of the relation's, loved-one's

358
00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:00,510
murderer.

359
00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:01,810
And after witnessing the

360
00:15:01,810 --> 00:15:04,810
execution, came back and said,

361
00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:08,560
the execution was too fast.

362
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,550
It should've been slower.

363
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:14,920
That really hurt me so much.

364
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,060
They wanted pain.

365
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:19,870
They wanted suffering in the person

366
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,980
who killed their -- I don't know, child

367
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:24,140
or relation or whatever it was -- he

368
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,860
never gave the details.

369
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,350
What is it in a human being

370
00:15:28,350 --> 00:15:31,920
wants to harm others because

371
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,660
they have harmed us?

372
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:39,450
I say that's this attachment to

373
00:15:39,450 --> 00:15:44,200
being a victim, attachment, you know, to,

374
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,700
or this cultural way of looking at things,

375
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,620
an 'eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth'

376
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:51,560
is still very, very strong in many people

377
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,390
in our society.

378
00:15:53,390 --> 00:15:56,480
And when I was asked, "What does Buddhism

379
00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,720
think about things like that," I quoted a

380
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,671
book which I read as a student, which

381
00:16:04,671 --> 00:16:07,840
changed much of the way I looked

382
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:13,040
at being a victim or crime and punishments

383
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:15,290
and I've mentioned that here before,

384
00:16:15,290 --> 00:16:17,280
that there's a wonderful book written

385
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,920
written over a hundred years ago

386
00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,370
it's called "Erewhon," by Samuel Butler.

387
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:24,560
And apparently, that really influenced

388
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,990
the great British playwright
George Bernard Shaw.

389
00:16:27,990 --> 00:16:29,590
It changed the way he looked

390
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:31,680
at some of these social problems

391
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,780
and the reason why it was a very

392
00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:38,350
effective argument against the way

393
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:42,230
we treat "criminals," or people who've

394
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:46,050
done harm, with punishment,

395
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:49,260
was that it used the satire.

396
00:16:49,260 --> 00:16:50,750
It envisaged

397
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:55,000
a society in which, what we call crime

398
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,170
today, is looked upon as being a

399
00:16:58,170 --> 00:17:01,860
sickness and therapy, therapy, therapy

400
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:05,010
is the only response to crime.

401
00:17:05,010 --> 00:17:07,380
If somebody steals, they go and see

402
00:17:07,380 --> 00:17:10,449
a doctor.

403
00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:13,310
If somebody rapes, that's

404
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:16,299
looked upon as being a sickness.

405
00:17:16,299 --> 00:17:18,980
Punishment is not really looked at at all.

406
00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:21,470
But somehow, a rehabilitation

407
00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:25,449
of trying to work out and remedy

408
00:17:25,449 --> 00:17:29,000
that glitch in human nature.

409
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:33,180
But, when it came to health matters,

410
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,790
if you were sick and ill, that

411
00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:37,790
was because you were careless

412
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:41,360
and you were punished.

413
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,620
Part of that book, a chapter which

414
00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:46,370
I will always remember, was of a

415
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:48,670
court scene in which there was a

416
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:52,510
poor man who had a cold.

417
00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:54,750
And when he had a cold (there's

418
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:56,820
many colds going around right now

419
00:17:56,820 --> 00:17:58,340
[directed at audience], there's

420
00:17:58,340 --> 00:18:00,290
a cough already, you'd be in trouble in

421
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:02,310
this society), because he had a cold

422
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:04,520
he was in the dock, charged

423
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,360
with being sick.

424
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,971
And because he was

425
00:18:08,971 --> 00:18:12,310
sniffling, he had no defense and

426
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:13,900
so the judge pronounced him

427
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:17,680
guilty of having a cold and he,

428
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,220
before he gave judgment, uh, sentence

429
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:21,930
sorry, the punishment, he said,

430
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:23,600
"This is not the first time you

431
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,320
appeared before me, you were here

432
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:28,220
last week or three weeks ago with a cold.

433
00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:30,680
I warned you then,
if you don't eat better, take

434
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,670
better care of your health, let go

435
00:18:32,670 --> 00:18:35,610
of your stress, it's your responsibility

436
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:37,490
to be healthy and you have been

437
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:40,220
negligent, and your cold is causing

438
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,750
a danger to other people!

439
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,380
You're being heedless, you're not

440
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,060
caring for others, you're spreading

441
00:18:45,060 --> 00:18:46,470
your germs to other people,

442
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:48,720
that's not appropriate, you should be

443
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,970
punished: three years in jail for having

444
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:56,120
a cold, being a repeat offender!"

445
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,960
There's some logic to that.

446
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,539
In a sense, you know, if you are sick,

447
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:04,970
isn't your responsibility to exercise

448
00:19:04,970 --> 00:19:09,910
and eat well and keep yourself healthy?

449
00:19:09,910 --> 00:19:13,400
And if you are sick,
you are a scourge on society.

450
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,360
You're robbing it of its resources.

451
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:19,820
"You heedless scallywag,

452
00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:22,790
reprobate delinquent for always

453
00:19:22,790 --> 00:19:25,470
having colds."

454
00:19:25,470 --> 00:19:27,880
And they were punished.

455
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:30,080
Now, obviously, what that really made

456
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,540
very, very clear to me is that the double

457
00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:34,870
standards which we have.

458
00:19:34,870 --> 00:19:37,050
Why is it that when we're sick,

459
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,510
no one gets punished for being sick.

460
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:42,260
And what's the difference between

461
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,170
some of the behavior of human

462
00:19:44,170 --> 00:19:48,530
beings which we call criminal.

463
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:50,220
So when I was asked about what

464
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,550
we think in Buddhism about punishment,

465
00:19:52,550 --> 00:19:54,890
it was very much the case that,

466
00:19:54,890 --> 00:19:57,070
yeah, sometimes it's like a sickness,

467
00:19:57,070 --> 00:19:58,960
you do need quarantine, to be put

468
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,870
away, so you don't harm other human

469
00:20:00,870 --> 00:20:03,010
beings, from the time that sickness is

470
00:20:03,010 --> 00:20:05,950
still strong in you,
you're still a danger to others.

471
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:07,540
But when you're in quarantine,

472
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,050
it's never looked upon as
being a punishment.

473
00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:11,290
It's always looked upon

474
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:12,510
as being rehabilitating.

475
00:20:12,510 --> 00:20:14,270
To try and take that problem, to work

476
00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:16,290
with it so that it's no longer there.

477
00:20:16,290 --> 00:20:17,809
And you stay in quarantine

478
00:20:17,809 --> 00:20:20,240
as long as you are contagious,

479
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,680
a danger to society.

480
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,520
In the same way, why don't we look at

481
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,960
that as penal before... to stay as long

482
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,660
as you're a danger to society.

483
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,460
But not looked upon as being a

484
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,330
punishment, looked upon as being

485
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:35,470
a problem which needs to be healed.

486
00:20:35,470 --> 00:20:39,149
No punishment, but rehabilitation.

487
00:20:39,149 --> 00:20:41,570
That's how I understand Buddhism,

488
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:43,440
over many, many years of being a

489
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,250
Buddhist, and also how I understand

490
00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,020
a positive way forward.

491
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,690
But why is it that people don't want that,

492
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:52,559
they want people to be punished for

493
00:20:52,559 --> 00:20:55,770
their way they've hurt us.

494
00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:57,500
And I think it's very much

495
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,940
that we can't just understand

496
00:21:00,940 --> 00:21:04,380
deeply why it is that people do
these terrible things.

497
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:05,890
Why they make these

498
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,590
mistakes, to have a deeper understanding

499
00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:10,480
and also have a deeper understanding

500
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,280
not just where these crimes, these hurts,

501
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,300
these harms come from, but

502
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:18,059
how in the future we can lessen the

503
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:21,100
chance of harm and hurt.

504
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,870
Being attached to being a victim

505
00:21:22,870 --> 00:21:27,210
does not help.

506
00:21:27,210 --> 00:21:29,520
Sometimes, I just wonder why people

507
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:33,470
want punishment of others, when

508
00:21:33,470 --> 00:21:36,370
if you're a Christian, you know that God

509
00:21:36,370 --> 00:21:38,860
will punish afterwards, what do you need

510
00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:40,390
to punish for?

511
00:21:40,390 --> 00:21:42,930
If you're a Muslim,
Allah will look after it,

512
00:21:42,930 --> 00:21:44,770
if you're a Buddhist, karma

513
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,291
will look after it, and if you

514
00:21:46,291 --> 00:21:48,900
don't believe in any religion,

515
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,181
you know that person will

516
00:21:50,181 --> 00:21:52,370
have to go into psychotherapy for many,

517
00:21:52,370 --> 00:21:54,290
many years afterwards.

518
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:57,000
Whatever it is, no one ever escapes

519
00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:03,360
from the problems of their bad behavior.

520
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:05,180
It's also one of those insights which

521
00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:07,040
I had from the experience of visiting

522
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,320
prisons many times in the early

523
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,850
part of my life here in Western Australia.

524
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:13,560
Visiting prisons so many

525
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:14,960
times and getting to know

526
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,520
some of these people spending

527
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,120
years in jail, never once did I find a

528
00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:24,760
prisoner who had no conscience.

529
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,680
They would act as if they had no

530
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,970
conscience, and think, "Yeah, when I get

531
00:22:28,970 --> 00:22:31,870
outta here, I'm just going to rob
as many houses as I can.

532
00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:33,330
I don't care about the

533
00:22:33,330 --> 00:22:35,430
system, I'm just going to bear with this

534
00:22:35,430 --> 00:22:37,610
until I can get out."

535
00:22:37,610 --> 00:22:41,559
But when I got to know some of
these prisoners, they would

536
00:22:41,559 --> 00:22:44,330
always, in every case, express just

537
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:46,730
how bad and terrible they felt about

538
00:22:46,730 --> 00:22:50,110
what they'd done to others.

539
00:22:50,110 --> 00:22:51,970
It wasn't the case, they never felt

540
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:54,620
deep inside the hurt which they'd

541
00:22:54,620 --> 00:22:57,890
given to others, they always

542
00:22:57,890 --> 00:23:00,410
felt it, it was always remorse there,

543
00:23:00,410 --> 00:23:02,570
just usually it was a tough guy syndrome,

544
00:23:02,570 --> 00:23:05,150
they did not want to express it.

545
00:23:05,150 --> 00:23:08,550
So there is always a punishment comes

546
00:23:08,550 --> 00:23:09,770
there.

547
00:23:09,770 --> 00:23:11,559
If someone has done something

548
00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,900
bad to you, they are going to hurt.

549
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:16,280
This, what we call, the law of karma,

550
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,580
it has to come back to them.

551
00:23:18,580 --> 00:23:20,590
And that is not whether you're a Buddhist

552
00:23:20,590 --> 00:23:23,200
or a Christian or whatever, that's a law

553
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,990
like the law of gravity, you don't have

554
00:23:25,990 --> 00:23:28,510
to believe in that, or not believe in it

555
00:23:28,510 --> 00:23:30,370
it happens irrespective of your

556
00:23:30,370 --> 00:23:31,800
beliefs.

557
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,630
So we don't need to punish others.

558
00:23:34,630 --> 00:23:36,150
Instead, we can let the whole

559
00:23:36,150 --> 00:23:39,580
thing go.

560
00:23:39,580 --> 00:23:41,400
And unless we let them go,

561
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,870
then we are a victim for the rest

562
00:23:44,870 --> 00:23:47,900
of our lives.

563
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,420
It doesn't matter who has

564
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:52,650
harmed, hurt, abused you.

565
00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:55,860
Until you can let that go, you're always

566
00:23:55,860 --> 00:24:00,320
the victim and you can never be free.

567
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,980
It's just how we can reach
that point of letting go

568
00:24:03,980 --> 00:24:07,010
that sometimes, just to think

569
00:24:07,010 --> 00:24:08,400
we need to confront

570
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,150
that person who's harmed us

571
00:24:10,150 --> 00:24:13,400
we need to fix the situation ourselves.

572
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,850
We need to be acknowledged,

573
00:24:14,850 --> 00:24:18,090
we need to be heard.

574
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:21,090
Sometimes that cannot be achieved.

575
00:24:21,090 --> 00:24:25,660
If it's not achieved, then what.

576
00:24:25,660 --> 00:24:27,580
Sometimes you don't need

577
00:24:27,580 --> 00:24:29,330
to be heard,

578
00:24:29,330 --> 00:24:30,920
sometimes you don't need to

579
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,580
confront the person who's

580
00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,960
harmed you or hurt you.

581
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,300
You are always free and every moment

582
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:39,670
independent of others,

583
00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:42,520
independent of the judicial system,

584
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,760
independent of where that

585
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,730
person who harmed or hurt

586
00:24:46,730 --> 00:24:48,140
or abused you is,

587
00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:50,660
you're always free

588
00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:55,050
to let go at any time.

589
00:24:55,050 --> 00:24:56,679
These attachments which we carry

590
00:24:56,679 --> 00:25:00,610
around, we choose to carry them.

591
00:25:00,610 --> 00:25:02,149
We don't have to.

592
00:25:02,149 --> 00:25:05,080
The experience of seeing how

593
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,240
grief was not a part of the Buddhist

594
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,020
culture, hundreds of years old

595
00:25:09,020 --> 00:25:10,620
in northeast Thailand,

596
00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:13,420
taught me that many of the things I thought

597
00:25:13,420 --> 00:25:15,220
were normal, natural, and had

598
00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:16,970
to happen, were not normal,

599
00:25:16,970 --> 00:25:18,680
natural, had to happen.

600
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,370
It's just the way we've learned

601
00:25:21,370 --> 00:25:24,790
to deal with the problems of life.

602
00:25:24,790 --> 00:25:27,060
We can relearn them

603
00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:30,080
and do things in a different way.

604
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:32,290
Someone has harmed and hurt you,

605
00:25:32,290 --> 00:25:36,670
why not let it go pretty quickly.

606
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:38,300
I've often said, and this is

607
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:40,600
just a start of understanding

608
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,100
how to reconcile.

609
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:44,480
Let go, forgive, let go, move on.

610
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,600
I've often said that when someone

611
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,150
calls you an idiot
and you keep thinking,

612
00:25:50,150 --> 00:25:51,840
"Why did they call me an idiot,

613
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,540
I'm not an idiot!
You should not call me an idiot!"

614
00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:56,080
you've allowed them to

615
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,190
call you an idiot three more times.
[laughter]

616
00:25:59,190 --> 00:26:01,240
Every time you remember that,

617
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,230
you're allowing them to call you

618
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:05,830
an idiot another time.

619
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:07,679
So why not, when they call you an

620
00:26:07,679 --> 00:26:10,110
idiot, you forget it straight away.

621
00:26:10,110 --> 00:26:13,410
Then they only call you an idiot once.

622
00:26:13,410 --> 00:26:15,390
They're wrong, you know they're wrong,

623
00:26:15,390 --> 00:26:16,670
end of problem.

624
00:26:16,670 --> 00:26:18,480
And I think many of you will accept

625
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:20,361
the wisdom of that, and maybe

626
00:26:20,361 --> 00:26:21,700
you've heard it enough times

627
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:23,300
you've done that already,

628
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:25,679
these people call you an idiot,
they call you foolish,

629
00:26:25,679 --> 00:26:27,640
they call you ugly,
they call you stupid,

630
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,800
you just forget it straight away.

631
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,590
Or for those of you who don't know

632
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:33,340
this wonderful saying of Ajahn Chah,

633
00:26:33,340 --> 00:26:36,170
"If they call you a dog,
what should you do?

634
00:26:36,170 --> 00:26:39,510
Look at your..." [audience - inaudible]
bow [laughter]

635
00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:42,020
(AB: very good you got there first,

636
00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:44,720
excellent) but no,
that's not what Ajahn Chah said,

637
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,800
If someone calls you a dog

638
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:48,299
you look at your bottom

639
00:26:48,299 --> 00:26:49,700
to see if you got a tail.

640
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,860
If you ain't got a tail, you're not a dog,

641
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,720
end of problem.

642
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,440
Most of the things which people say

643
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,690
about you aren't true

644
00:26:56,690 --> 00:26:57,963
'cause they don't know

645
00:26:57,963 --> 00:26:59,760
who you are or what you're doing,

646
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,970
so that's a great way of
stopping the problem.

647
00:27:01,970 --> 00:27:03,320
But what a lot of people do,

648
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,680
they keep thinking about it,

649
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,070
every time you think about it

650
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,530
you allow them to call
you a dog another time.

651
00:27:08,530 --> 00:27:09,970
Now that's easy to understand

652
00:27:09,970 --> 00:27:12,280
but what about someone
who’s really hurt you?

653
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,500
Really abused you?

654
00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:20,070
Even like sexual abuse as a kid.

655
00:27:20,070 --> 00:27:21,510
Is it the case every time

656
00:27:21,510 --> 00:27:24,250
you remember that,

657
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:28,450
you allow them to abuse you again?

658
00:27:28,450 --> 00:27:33,730
Every time you bring that up?

659
00:27:33,730 --> 00:27:37,230
Why is it we can't let it go

660
00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:40,960
straight away?

661
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,850
It's hard.

662
00:27:42,850 --> 00:27:44,610
But with an inner strength,

663
00:27:44,610 --> 00:27:46,630
you know, a strength which is

664
00:27:46,630 --> 00:27:48,070
not coming from will power

665
00:27:48,070 --> 00:27:49,850
but from wisdom power,

666
00:27:49,850 --> 00:27:51,309
from compassion,

667
00:27:51,309 --> 00:27:53,600
why do we allow ourselves

668
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:55,600
to be victims?

669
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,240
To be made victims?

670
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,150
Now I'm not just saying that out of theory.

671
00:28:01,150 --> 00:28:03,170
Many, many years ago

672
00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:06,380
there was a disciple,

673
00:28:06,380 --> 00:28:07,799
this was in the time of the

674
00:28:07,799 --> 00:28:10,910
Armadale group, part of the Armadale

675
00:28:10,910 --> 00:28:13,170
group, who came out to me

676
00:28:13,170 --> 00:28:15,110
(actually one of her friends said

677
00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:17,180
you better talk to her because she's

678
00:28:17,180 --> 00:28:18,480
in big trouble).

679
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,870
And what the trouble was,

680
00:28:19,870 --> 00:28:22,240
was she found out her husband

681
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:26,650
was sexually abusing her two children.

682
00:28:26,650 --> 00:28:29,380
She had missed it, and I told her

683
00:28:29,380 --> 00:28:31,240
why she'd missed it, "because, look,

684
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:32,880
you love that man."

685
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:34,350
When you love a man,

686
00:28:34,350 --> 00:28:35,980
the signs are there but you are in

687
00:28:35,980 --> 00:28:38,540
denial because the whole idea that

688
00:28:38,540 --> 00:28:40,880
the man you love is abusing the

689
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,710
children you love, it's just it's so

690
00:28:43,710 --> 00:28:45,480
hard to reconcile that.

691
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,290
It's so hard for the mind to fit

692
00:28:47,290 --> 00:28:49,320
those two together.

693
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,809
So she just denied the signs

694
00:28:51,809 --> 00:28:53,980
of sexual abuse of her children

695
00:28:53,980 --> 00:28:55,280
by her husband.

696
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,330
It was found out by the school.

697
00:28:58,330 --> 00:29:01,270
Investigated, it was true.

698
00:29:01,270 --> 00:29:03,080
The guy went to jail.

699
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,240
The marriage was over.

700
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,160
And I was counseling her,

701
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,420
counseling her on these
Buddhist principles.

702
00:29:10,420 --> 00:29:13,120
She'd been meditating enough,
she understood

703
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:16,330
the basic idea of karma and letting go

704
00:29:16,330 --> 00:29:19,290
and not being a victim

705
00:29:19,290 --> 00:29:22,220
and she took it on board.

706
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:24,000
She said she could never live

707
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,880
with that man or love him again,

708
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,640
but she's not going to allow him

709
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,179
to make her suffer anymore.

710
00:29:30,179 --> 00:29:31,710
She completely let go.

711
00:29:31,710 --> 00:29:33,870
Wished him well, and eventually

712
00:29:33,870 --> 00:29:35,710
moved to the UK.

713
00:29:35,710 --> 00:29:37,460
And I kept in contact with her

714
00:29:37,460 --> 00:29:41,570
and her kids, but before she left

715
00:29:41,570 --> 00:29:43,690
it was compulsory at that time,

716
00:29:43,690 --> 00:29:46,010
probably still is, for her to go

717
00:29:46,010 --> 00:29:51,230
for counseling and the kids too.

718
00:29:51,230 --> 00:29:53,610
I was quite amused that after

719
00:29:53,610 --> 00:29:55,590
going to counseling

720
00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:57,910
for about four/five weeks

721
00:29:57,910 --> 00:29:59,730
she came to complain again.

722
00:29:59,730 --> 00:30:01,870
"This counselor will not

723
00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:04,360
understand I've moved on."

724
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:08,000
And the counselor was still saying,
"You hate your husband don't you?"

725
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,510
"No, I don't hate my husband,
I've let him go." [laughter]

726
00:30:10,510 --> 00:30:12,249
Counselor: "You hate him don't you?"

727
00:30:12,249 --> 00:30:13,470
Woman: "No, no I don't!"

728
00:30:13,470 --> 00:30:16,430
And she came because she
could not be free of her counselor

729
00:30:16,430 --> 00:30:17,910
[audience laughter]

730
00:30:17,910 --> 00:30:20,324
until she admitted how much she

731
00:30:20,324 --> 00:30:23,340
hated and wanted to kill her husband.

732
00:30:23,340 --> 00:30:26,049
And so I had to write this letter

733
00:30:26,049 --> 00:30:27,920
to the counselor about Buddhist

734
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,640
Psychology and how Buddhists

735
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,100
relate to these things,
to actually to free her.

736
00:30:32,100 --> 00:30:35,600
And I didn't write this letter easily

737
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:37,340
because if I'd got it wrong,

738
00:30:37,340 --> 00:30:39,100
than she'd be suffering

739
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:40,660
later on down the track.

740
00:30:40,660 --> 00:30:42,190
But because I knew her,

741
00:30:42,190 --> 00:30:43,640
because I'd talked with her,

742
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,110
because I'd counseled her myself,

743
00:30:46,110 --> 00:30:48,180
yeah, I knew that she had moved on.

744
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,630
She did not have the anger,

745
00:30:49,630 --> 00:30:51,320
she didn't go through this process

746
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:53,580
of victimhood which is expected

747
00:30:53,580 --> 00:30:56,080
in our modern culture.

748
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:58,090
She moved through fast

749
00:30:58,090 --> 00:31:00,750
and so gained her freedom fast.

750
00:31:00,750 --> 00:31:04,280
And I really salute her,

751
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:05,960
because what she did

752
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,510
by moving from that incredible hurt,

753
00:31:09,510 --> 00:31:11,380
a whole life being devastated,

754
00:31:11,380 --> 00:31:14,480
she moved so quickly through that --

755
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,970
not into forgetfulness,
not into ignorance, 'that didn't happen,'

756
00:31:17,970 --> 00:31:19,690
not into denial -- but, yeah that

757
00:31:19,690 --> 00:31:22,090
happened, that was
an awful thing to happen

758
00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:23,850
but I'm not going to allow that to

759
00:31:23,850 --> 00:31:27,809
hurt and harm me any more.

760
00:31:27,809 --> 00:31:30,850
Because she moved into that freedom,

761
00:31:30,850 --> 00:31:34,740
she took her two kids
with her very quickly.

762
00:31:34,740 --> 00:31:36,580
They too followed their mother's lead,

763
00:31:36,580 --> 00:31:40,650
were not going to be victims

764
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:42,790
and moved on.

765
00:31:42,790 --> 00:31:44,740
There are other ways of dealing with

766
00:31:44,740 --> 00:31:48,410
these terrible abuses.

767
00:31:48,410 --> 00:31:50,120
And the other personal example

768
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,250
I have, again, is the story of my own

769
00:31:53,250 --> 00:31:58,500
father who told me that he was,

770
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:00,030
before the Second World War,

771
00:32:00,030 --> 00:32:01,830
born and brought up in Liverpool

772
00:32:01,830 --> 00:32:04,059
in a very, very poor family

773
00:32:04,059 --> 00:32:06,809
as most people were in those days.

774
00:32:06,809 --> 00:32:09,310
And his father was a plumber

775
00:32:09,310 --> 00:32:12,630
who would go to work,

776
00:32:12,630 --> 00:32:14,230
before he'd come home

777
00:32:14,230 --> 00:32:17,860
spend most of his time in the pub,
spending the money

778
00:32:17,860 --> 00:32:20,599
giving only a pittance to my

779
00:32:20,599 --> 00:32:22,309
paternal grandmother

780
00:32:22,309 --> 00:32:24,700
to look after the kids.

781
00:32:24,700 --> 00:32:27,010
As soon as he'd come home drunk,

782
00:32:27,010 --> 00:32:28,820
get out his belt and whip

783
00:32:28,820 --> 00:32:30,330
any kid who came in his path

784
00:32:30,330 --> 00:32:32,080
for no reason or another and then

785
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:36,059
set on his wife.

786
00:32:36,059 --> 00:32:38,300
Which is why my father,

787
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:39,980
in my presence, he said,

788
00:32:39,980 --> 00:32:41,330
"Look, I'm sorry son.

789
00:32:41,330 --> 00:32:44,160
Your grandfather was a bastard."

790
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,910
And he hated him.

791
00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:47,980
But the other thing he told me,

792
00:32:47,980 --> 00:32:50,240
was that whenever he was under

793
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:54,360
that belt himself, being beaten

794
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,510
for no reason at all, except his father

795
00:32:56,510 --> 00:32:57,740
was drunk.

796
00:32:57,740 --> 00:32:59,950
He made a resolution,

797
00:32:59,950 --> 00:33:01,580
he told me he determined

798
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:04,130
if ever he gets through this and

799
00:33:04,130 --> 00:33:07,340
has kids, he will never hit them.

800
00:33:07,340 --> 00:33:10,940
And that's what happened.

801
00:33:10,940 --> 00:33:13,510
There's no way that my father could hit us.

802
00:33:13,510 --> 00:33:15,790
My mother had to be the disciplinarian.

803
00:33:15,790 --> 00:33:17,070
And even she didn't do it

804
00:33:17,070 --> 00:33:18,790
very well.

805
00:33:18,790 --> 00:33:21,010
And he became this incredibly

806
00:33:21,010 --> 00:33:22,370
loving father.

807
00:33:22,370 --> 00:33:25,050
He was a person who,
in that story I tell you

808
00:33:25,050 --> 00:33:28,360
about taking me down a side street

809
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,550
of Acton in London, telling me,

810
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,360
"Look, whatever you do in your life son,

811
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,230
the door of my house will always

812
00:33:34,230 --> 00:33:35,540
be open to you."

813
00:33:35,540 --> 00:33:36,870
What I later interpreted as

814
00:33:36,870 --> 00:33:38,690
being, "whatever you do in your life,

815
00:33:38,690 --> 00:33:40,640
wherever you go, the door of my

816
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,570
heart will be open to you."

817
00:33:42,570 --> 00:33:45,090
It was unconditional love.

818
00:33:45,090 --> 00:33:47,200
And that was a man who

819
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,490
suffered tremendous physical

820
00:33:50,490 --> 00:33:53,410
abuse as a child.

821
00:33:53,410 --> 00:33:56,700
There is other ways of
dealing with these things.

822
00:33:56,700 --> 00:34:00,690
And I look at that as a way forward.

823
00:34:00,690 --> 00:34:02,890
Whereas if we carry that abuse around

824
00:34:02,890 --> 00:34:05,350
with us, we become victims.

825
00:34:05,350 --> 00:34:07,299
We are stopping ourselves being

826
00:34:07,299 --> 00:34:10,000
happy.

827
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,069
But we don't have to.

828
00:34:12,069 --> 00:34:13,760
Which is, if it happens great,

829
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,739
but there has to come a time,

830
00:34:15,739 --> 00:34:18,539
some situation where we let go.

831
00:34:18,539 --> 00:34:20,199
Sometimes that letting go

832
00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:22,699
does happen when we face the

833
00:34:22,699 --> 00:34:26,079
person who has been hurting us,

834
00:34:26,079 --> 00:34:27,690
creating our problem.

835
00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:30,409
We face them and we
hear them acknowledging,

836
00:34:30,409 --> 00:34:31,958
sometimes there is a letting go

837
00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:33,259
there.

838
00:34:33,259 --> 00:34:36,248
Maybe that might be the best way.

839
00:34:36,248 --> 00:34:37,690
But sometimes that way isn't

840
00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:39,309
there for us.

841
00:34:39,309 --> 00:34:40,757
If it's not there for us

842
00:34:40,757 --> 00:34:45,668
then we can do it ourselves.

843
00:34:45,668 --> 00:34:47,619
We can move on by letting go of

844
00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:51,289
this burden.

845
00:34:51,289 --> 00:34:55,929
When we say that,
"Is there happiness in this world?"

846
00:34:55,929 --> 00:34:57,809
Unless we drop those attachments

847
00:34:57,809 --> 00:34:59,349
to the pain of our lives,

848
00:34:59,349 --> 00:35:02,609
to the disappointments,
to what went wrong,

849
00:35:02,609 --> 00:35:05,180
to the hurt and the harm,

850
00:35:05,180 --> 00:35:08,950
if we can't drop those attachments

851
00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:13,850
how on earth can we ever be free?

852
00:35:13,850 --> 00:35:15,540
At this conference this morning,

853
00:35:15,540 --> 00:35:17,229
there was a very impressive

854
00:35:17,229 --> 00:35:18,759
young Aboriginal leader.

855
00:35:18,759 --> 00:35:21,950
I forget her name, Norelle
was her first name,

856
00:35:21,950 --> 00:35:24,029
she was actually a basketball star or

857
00:35:24,029 --> 00:35:27,670
something, but she was saying

858
00:35:27,670 --> 00:35:29,860
(it's a very interesting thing),

859
00:35:29,860 --> 00:35:31,770
so... if our Prime Minister

860
00:35:31,770 --> 00:35:34,640
John Howard says sorry...

861
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,240
so then what.

862
00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:41,640
She was telling her students,
she teaches at ?Contell,

863
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:43,859
have you got to wait until

864
00:35:43,859 --> 00:35:46,130
the government says sorry before we can

865
00:35:46,130 --> 00:35:48,849
reconcile and move forward?

866
00:35:48,849 --> 00:35:53,179
Why leave them that power?

867
00:35:53,179 --> 00:35:54,950
Why don't we do it now?

868
00:35:54,950 --> 00:35:57,640
I thought that was a very

869
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,220
inspiring and wonderful way

870
00:35:59,220 --> 00:36:01,839
of taking responsibility

871
00:36:01,839 --> 00:36:03,660
for ourselves

872
00:36:03,660 --> 00:36:07,020
for our moving out of our victimhood.

873
00:36:07,020 --> 00:36:08,780
Rather than waiting for someone

874
00:36:08,780 --> 00:36:10,729
else to do it for us, whether it's

875
00:36:10,729 --> 00:36:12,710
the government, whether it's the

876
00:36:12,710 --> 00:36:14,499
courts, whether it's karma or

877
00:36:14,499 --> 00:36:15,759
whatever.

878
00:36:15,759 --> 00:36:17,349
Why can't we take

879
00:36:17,349 --> 00:36:21,389
responsibility for being free?

880
00:36:21,389 --> 00:36:24,219
Say, "I forgive.

881
00:36:24,219 --> 00:36:26,170
I let go.

882
00:36:26,170 --> 00:36:27,809
I will move on.

883
00:36:27,809 --> 00:36:30,549
I'm never going to allow

884
00:36:30,549 --> 00:36:33,880
anyone else ever again

885
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,680
to control my happiness."

886
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,289
You've heard me say that before.

887
00:36:38,289 --> 00:36:39,960
It's a very simple thing

888
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,900
to say: don't allow others to control

889
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:44,690
your happiness.

890
00:36:44,690 --> 00:36:48,230
It's a very powerful thing to say.

891
00:36:48,230 --> 00:36:51,499
It's very profound and you can see

892
00:36:51,499 --> 00:36:55,210
just how much of our lives

893
00:36:55,210 --> 00:36:57,949
is controlled by others.

894
00:36:57,949 --> 00:37:00,569
Part of Buddhism, I'd say,

895
00:37:00,569 --> 00:37:02,940
is always empowering,

896
00:37:02,940 --> 00:37:04,609
empowering you to take control

897
00:37:04,609 --> 00:37:06,970
of your happiness.

898
00:37:06,970 --> 00:37:09,180
And it can be done.

899
00:37:09,180 --> 00:37:11,729
Too often we look for solutions

900
00:37:11,729 --> 00:37:14,480
in controlling others.

901
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,089
Or the problem lies with my
abusers, the problem lies with

902
00:37:18,089 --> 00:37:20,860
the government, the problem lies
somewhere else, the problem

903
00:37:20,860 --> 00:37:22,740
lies with my husband, the problem

904
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,880
lies with my cancer, the problem

905
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:29,120
lies with my loved one who's just died.

906
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,049
If you want to, sort of, try fix

907
00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:32,610
up the world by fixing

908
00:37:32,610 --> 00:37:34,789
up all those people around you

909
00:37:34,789 --> 00:37:37,249
who've hurt you or harmed you,

910
00:37:37,249 --> 00:37:39,009
perhaps you'll die before that

911
00:37:39,009 --> 00:37:41,440
problem is solved.

912
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,930
Perhaps if you get reborn many, many times

913
00:37:43,930 --> 00:37:45,870
you'll never find that freedom,

914
00:37:45,870 --> 00:37:48,170
that happiness, that peace.

915
00:37:48,170 --> 00:37:50,109
Fortunately, you don't have to

916
00:37:50,109 --> 00:37:54,769
go that path.

917
00:37:54,769 --> 00:37:56,880
There's one beautiful message of

918
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,229
the Buddha, you cannot

919
00:37:59,229 --> 00:38:01,710
really change this world

920
00:38:01,710 --> 00:38:03,460
but you sure can change

921
00:38:03,460 --> 00:38:06,880
your attitude towards it.

922
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,760
The abuse which you've had in the past,

923
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:11,000
you can't change that.

924
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,859
The pain, the difficulty, the loss,

925
00:38:12,859 --> 00:38:14,369
the person who's just died,

926
00:38:14,369 --> 00:38:17,640
you can't bring them back again.

927
00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,089
That's obvious,

928
00:38:20,089 --> 00:38:23,069
sometimes obvious, but we

929
00:38:23,069 --> 00:38:26,400
still think that way.

930
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,990
We can't undo the abuse.

931
00:38:28,990 --> 00:38:32,430
We can't get back that youth

932
00:38:32,430 --> 00:38:35,030
which we may have lost.

933
00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:37,349
We can't undo things.

934
00:38:37,349 --> 00:38:40,749
We can't change the world or the past.

935
00:38:40,749 --> 00:38:43,640
But what we can do
is change our attitude

936
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,269
in this present moment.

937
00:38:45,269 --> 00:38:48,229
It's that attitude change which is

938
00:38:48,229 --> 00:38:50,700
the key, I've always found,

939
00:38:50,700 --> 00:38:53,799
to finding freedom and happiness.

940
00:38:53,799 --> 00:38:57,259
To find happiness and freedom

941
00:38:57,259 --> 00:38:59,900
in our world, rather than

942
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,050
changing the world first so that

943
00:39:02,050 --> 00:39:03,780
some time in the future we can

944
00:39:03,780 --> 00:39:05,769
be free, that we can be happy,

945
00:39:05,769 --> 00:39:07,869
we can be at peace.

946
00:39:07,869 --> 00:39:09,249
And that's not a cop-out,

947
00:39:09,249 --> 00:39:10,969
because sometimes people say,

948
00:39:10,969 --> 00:39:12,690
"Well, if you don't do anything

949
00:39:12,690 --> 00:39:16,010
there'll be more abuse, more

950
00:39:16,010 --> 00:39:18,729
cheating, more stupid governments

951
00:39:18,729 --> 00:39:21,789
more wars, more child abuse,

952
00:39:21,789 --> 00:39:23,969
more crime."

953
00:39:23,969 --> 00:39:25,599
And the psychology

954
00:39:25,599 --> 00:39:28,380
which I know, that the more time

955
00:39:28,380 --> 00:39:30,130
you have blame, the more time you

956
00:39:30,130 --> 00:39:31,979
have punishment, the more time

957
00:39:31,979 --> 00:39:34,829
you exert revenge, that it makes

958
00:39:34,829 --> 00:39:36,250
the whole problem worse and

959
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:38,119
worse and worse and worse.

960
00:39:38,119 --> 00:39:40,800
The more people you lock in jail

961
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,989
the more criminals we have

962
00:39:42,989 --> 00:39:45,119
for our future.

963
00:39:45,119 --> 00:39:47,140
The more you punish,

964
00:39:47,140 --> 00:39:51,850
the more people have resentment.

965
00:39:51,850 --> 00:39:54,980
The quicker you can forgive,

966
00:39:54,980 --> 00:39:56,499
the quicker there can be

967
00:39:56,499 --> 00:39:58,439
rehabilitation.

968
00:39:58,439 --> 00:40:01,270
Not just for the victims,

969
00:40:01,270 --> 00:40:05,190
but the people who

970
00:40:05,190 --> 00:40:09,620
did those terrible things.

971
00:40:09,620 --> 00:40:12,710
Some few years ago, I should've

972
00:40:12,710 --> 00:40:14,650
kept this article because there was

973
00:40:14,650 --> 00:40:18,229
a brilliant article, it was concerning

974
00:40:18,229 --> 00:40:19,719
the killers of Jamie Bulger,

975
00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:21,400
(whatever his name was)

976
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,160
this young -- was it two or three

977
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,170
year old -- who was abducted in

978
00:40:26,170 --> 00:40:28,489
the shopping center in Liverpool

979
00:40:28,489 --> 00:40:30,110
tortured and killed on the

980
00:40:30,110 --> 00:40:32,360
railway track by some, was it, eight or

981
00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:36,430
nine year old children.

982
00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:39,469
And the whole culture of England

983
00:40:39,469 --> 00:40:41,920
at the time especially driven by the

984
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:46,020
tabloid press, was wanting the blood

985
00:40:46,020 --> 00:40:48,299
of those two killers even though

986
00:40:48,299 --> 00:40:50,450
they were very, very young and

987
00:40:50,450 --> 00:40:52,359
they'd done a terrible terrible thing.

988
00:40:52,359 --> 00:40:54,099
To take the life of a two year old,

989
00:40:54,099 --> 00:40:56,089
and it's not just one person's death

990
00:40:56,089 --> 00:40:58,160
it's all the tears and the anxiety

991
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:02,259
and the stress and the devastation

992
00:41:02,259 --> 00:41:04,290
of all of the people who knew

993
00:41:04,290 --> 00:41:08,309
that child, let alone the parents.

994
00:41:08,309 --> 00:41:10,650
But what I never knew at the time

995
00:41:10,650 --> 00:41:14,019
was pointed out in this article

996
00:41:14,019 --> 00:41:16,619
was that at about the same time

997
00:41:16,619 --> 00:41:19,869
a similar event happened in Norway

998
00:41:19,869 --> 00:41:23,499
in the town of Trondheim, north of

999
00:41:23,499 --> 00:41:26,569
Oslo where I think, two boys

1000
00:41:26,569 --> 00:41:30,540
lured (I think) a girl into the snowfields,

1001
00:41:30,540 --> 00:41:35,289
and had similarly killed her.

1002
00:41:35,289 --> 00:41:38,559
And the similarities between the crimes

1003
00:41:38,559 --> 00:41:40,880
were very close.

1004
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:42,559
But what was very dissimilar was

1005
00:41:42,559 --> 00:41:44,430
the way those two societies

1006
00:41:44,430 --> 00:41:46,319
dealt with the problem.

1007
00:41:46,319 --> 00:41:48,430
As many of you know,

1008
00:41:48,430 --> 00:41:50,069
the Jamie Bulger case, those two

1009
00:41:50,069 --> 00:41:52,329
kids were put into some

1010
00:41:52,329 --> 00:41:55,000
detention center,

1011
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,960
and the tabloid press

1012
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,619
just wanted them to be really

1013
00:41:58,619 --> 00:42:00,810
punished hard and the parents

1014
00:42:00,810 --> 00:42:02,109
were just waiting for them to

1015
00:42:02,109 --> 00:42:05,589
be released so they could kill them.

1016
00:42:05,589 --> 00:42:08,869
And even the public did not
want them to be released.

1017
00:42:08,869 --> 00:42:11,359
I read in the newspapers
there was some idea of

1018
00:42:11,359 --> 00:42:13,140
sending them to Australia where they

1019
00:42:13,140 --> 00:42:14,769
wouldn't be known, new identities

1020
00:42:14,769 --> 00:42:16,260
so they could live their life

1021
00:42:16,260 --> 00:42:18,100
and the British public was saying, "No

1022
00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:20,329
they don't deserve any freedom."

1023
00:42:20,329 --> 00:42:22,139
That's what I read.

1024
00:42:22,139 --> 00:42:24,950
With those other two kids

1025
00:42:24,950 --> 00:42:27,190
the following day after they were caught

1026
00:42:27,190 --> 00:42:31,460
they both went to school

1027
00:42:31,460 --> 00:42:35,309
accompanied by psychiatrists

1028
00:42:35,309 --> 00:42:38,780
and a social worker.

1029
00:42:38,780 --> 00:42:41,319
They were not put into any

1030
00:42:41,319 --> 00:42:45,379
punitive institution.

1031
00:42:45,379 --> 00:42:49,079
Very, very soon, the mother and father

1032
00:42:49,079 --> 00:42:52,780
of the child who died came to a closure,

1033
00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:55,960
came to forgiveness and moved

1034
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,980
on in their life.

1035
00:42:57,980 --> 00:42:59,460
Whereas the parents

1036
00:42:59,460 --> 00:43:03,009
of Jamie Bulger never moved
on as far as I know.

1037
00:43:03,009 --> 00:43:04,940
The whole town of Trondheim

1038
00:43:04,940 --> 00:43:08,529
came to a closure.

1039
00:43:08,529 --> 00:43:10,640
They realized a terrible act,

1040
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,900
but the only way to move forward

1041
00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:18,420
is not to wish harm on the killers.

1042
00:43:18,420 --> 00:43:21,809
So many years later, one of the killers

1043
00:43:21,809 --> 00:43:24,549
of that (I think it was a) little girl

1044
00:43:24,549 --> 00:43:27,609
in Trondheim is perfectly well adjusted

1045
00:43:27,609 --> 00:43:29,160
having a successful life

1046
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,849
completed the education,

1047
00:43:31,849 --> 00:43:33,849
had really moved on, and so did the

1048
00:43:33,849 --> 00:43:35,860
family and the rest of town.

1049
00:43:35,860 --> 00:43:37,599
There's one of the killers still has

1050
00:43:37,599 --> 00:43:39,740
social problems and some psychological

1051
00:43:39,740 --> 00:43:42,539
problems, but nowhere near like

1052
00:43:42,539 --> 00:43:44,849
the pain which was spread around

1053
00:43:44,849 --> 00:43:49,329
England because of the Jamie Bulger case.

1054
00:43:49,329 --> 00:43:53,479
To see those two separate accounts

1055
00:43:53,479 --> 00:43:58,160
of a similar tragedy, one where there were

1056
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,289
many victims and their victimhood

1057
00:44:00,289 --> 00:44:04,329
was, I dare to say, cherished

1058
00:44:04,329 --> 00:44:07,710
and attached to and made much of.

1059
00:44:07,710 --> 00:44:09,329
And the other one, where

1060
00:44:09,329 --> 00:44:15,749
rehabilitation was the main aim and goal,

1061
00:44:15,749 --> 00:44:18,880
to see the effects of those two cases

1062
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,579
I sure wish I'd lived in Norway

1063
00:44:21,579 --> 00:44:23,979
than in England.

1064
00:44:23,979 --> 00:44:25,410
That was the way forward,

1065
00:44:25,410 --> 00:44:27,400
the way that everyone got healed,

1066
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:29,320
the way where there

1067
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:31,420
was less pain, less suffering.

1068
00:44:31,420 --> 00:44:34,549
So, when we are not happy when we are

1069
00:44:34,549 --> 00:44:40,380
suffering, when we are not free.

1070
00:44:40,380 --> 00:44:42,140
Why is it?

1071
00:44:42,140 --> 00:44:44,779
It's because we don't know how to

1072
00:44:44,779 --> 00:44:46,519
move on from the pains

1073
00:44:46,519 --> 00:44:49,170
and difficulties and stresses of life.

1074
00:44:49,170 --> 00:44:51,789
Now these are big pains,

1075
00:44:51,789 --> 00:44:54,829
big problems, big sufferings.

1076
00:44:54,829 --> 00:44:56,140
You probably haven't had to

1077
00:44:56,140 --> 00:44:59,339
experience that degree of

1078
00:44:59,339 --> 00:45:01,989
suffering, but if those people

1079
00:45:01,989 --> 00:45:04,689
can move on and find freedom,

1080
00:45:04,689 --> 00:45:07,390
why can't we?

1081
00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:09,660
One of the great causes

1082
00:45:09,660 --> 00:45:11,109
for happiness

1083
00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:14,599
is the ability to forgive,

1084
00:45:14,599 --> 00:45:18,359
to let go, to move on.

1085
00:45:18,359 --> 00:45:20,719
It causes happiness for

1086
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:22,920
the offenders, (I don't mean

1087
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,819
because they got away with it,

1088
00:45:24,819 --> 00:45:26,410
no one gets away with anything

1089
00:45:26,410 --> 00:45:28,950
in this world) but it means that

1090
00:45:28,950 --> 00:45:30,579
they got away forward,

1091
00:45:30,579 --> 00:45:33,009
and certainly a way forward

1092
00:45:33,009 --> 00:45:34,509
for those people we call

1093
00:45:34,509 --> 00:45:37,210
the victims.

1094
00:45:37,210 --> 00:45:40,809
We have more freedom and happiness.

1095
00:45:40,809 --> 00:45:44,249
Which is why I keep
telling -- why is it that we

1096
00:45:44,249 --> 00:45:46,140
carry around the shit of the past,

1097
00:45:46,140 --> 00:45:47,550
and we don't carry the eggs,

1098
00:45:47,550 --> 00:45:49,210
in that story of the two chicken

1099
00:45:49,210 --> 00:45:50,689
farmers (which I won't repeat,

1100
00:45:50,689 --> 00:45:52,399
because I think I tell that every

1101
00:45:52,399 --> 00:45:53,759
couple of weeks here).

1102
00:45:53,759 --> 00:45:55,950
It's an interesting thing,

1103
00:45:55,950 --> 00:45:58,650
why is it that our nature

1104
00:45:58,650 --> 00:46:01,009
always to look at the past

1105
00:46:01,009 --> 00:46:03,180
and collect the pain, to go to the

1106
00:46:03,180 --> 00:46:05,599
movies and once a week

1107
00:46:05,599 --> 00:46:07,059
to look, to be worried by

1108
00:46:07,059 --> 00:46:09,059
watching too many soap operas.

1109
00:46:09,059 --> 00:46:11,289
If people haven't got enough worries

1110
00:46:11,289 --> 00:46:13,190
in their life, they create more

1111
00:46:13,190 --> 00:46:14,950
worries by watching what's happening

1112
00:46:14,950 --> 00:46:17,720
in Neighbors, by worrying who's

1113
00:46:17,720 --> 00:46:19,109
going to win the cricket

1114
00:46:19,109 --> 00:46:22,309
or who's going to win the soccer
or who's going to win the footie

1115
00:46:22,309 --> 00:46:25,170
and people love the nail-biting finishes.

1116
00:46:25,170 --> 00:46:27,240
Or if they don't like those

1117
00:46:27,240 --> 00:46:28,819
they go to these extreme

1118
00:46:28,819 --> 00:46:31,490
sports and sometimes,

1119
00:46:31,490 --> 00:46:33,160
I remember being in the airport

1120
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,930
in Bangkok, and I saw on the

1121
00:46:34,930 --> 00:46:36,579
big TV screen there, some of these

1122
00:46:36,579 --> 00:46:39,089
extreme sports people were doing.

1123
00:46:39,089 --> 00:46:42,141
I remember seeing... they were

1124
00:46:42,141 --> 00:46:46,980
doing these motorbike races on ice!

1125
00:46:46,980 --> 00:46:49,589
That's crazy!

1126
00:46:49,589 --> 00:46:50,880
What idiot would actually

1127
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:54,229
race each other on these ice tracks

1128
00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,549
and sure enough, one person

1129
00:46:55,549 --> 00:46:56,990
came off the bike (they had to

1130
00:46:56,990 --> 00:46:58,230
have spikes on the wheels)

1131
00:46:58,230 --> 00:47:00,190
and got spiked.

1132
00:47:00,190 --> 00:47:03,119
Whoa, what do they do things like that for?

1133
00:47:03,119 --> 00:47:06,299
Why do people do that?

1134
00:47:06,299 --> 00:47:09,029
Because people like to suffer.

1135
00:47:09,029 --> 00:47:11,479
Why they like to suffer,

1136
00:47:11,479 --> 00:47:13,430
they like the thrill, the excitement

1137
00:47:13,430 --> 00:47:18,610
there is delight in suffering.

1138
00:47:18,610 --> 00:47:20,700
Be careful.

1139
00:47:20,700 --> 00:47:22,990
If you delight in suffering

1140
00:47:22,990 --> 00:47:24,740
there's no way you can ever

1141
00:47:24,740 --> 00:47:26,450
be happy.

1142
00:47:26,450 --> 00:47:29,619
If you attach to being the victim,

1143
00:47:29,619 --> 00:47:32,559
if you just want the thrill

1144
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:34,829
of being hurt, or being on the edge

1145
00:47:34,829 --> 00:47:37,570
of being hurt, however can

1146
00:47:37,570 --> 00:47:40,770
you be free?

1147
00:47:40,770 --> 00:47:42,039
So, one of the ways

1148
00:47:42,039 --> 00:47:44,630
of happiness in this world

1149
00:47:44,630 --> 00:47:48,560
is able to notice why one can't

1150
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:50,950
detach from that which is

1151
00:47:50,950 --> 00:47:52,729
genuinely painful and difficult to

1152
00:47:52,729 --> 00:47:54,339
bear with.

1153
00:47:54,339 --> 00:47:57,920
Why do we become the victim?

1154
00:47:57,920 --> 00:48:00,339
Why do we become the sad one?

1155
00:48:00,339 --> 00:48:04,519
Why do sometimes we become the sick person?

1156
00:48:04,519 --> 00:48:06,530
This is interesting, in some monasteries

1157
00:48:06,530 --> 00:48:08,599
I've been in, you see people become

1158
00:48:08,599 --> 00:48:10,969
sick and sick and sick and sick,

1159
00:48:10,969 --> 00:48:12,989
and a lot of monks say it's because

1160
00:48:12,989 --> 00:48:14,619
they want to leave, they want to

1161
00:48:14,619 --> 00:48:16,389
disrobe, that's the only way they

1162
00:48:16,389 --> 00:48:17,669
know how of doing it.

1163
00:48:17,669 --> 00:48:19,169
They actually become attached

1164
00:48:19,169 --> 00:48:20,860
to being the sick one

1165
00:48:20,860 --> 00:48:23,759
that's their persona.

1166
00:48:23,759 --> 00:48:25,700
It's called ego attachment.

1167
00:48:25,700 --> 00:48:29,230
It creates a sense of self.

1168
00:48:29,230 --> 00:48:31,400
This is one of the things the Buddha

1169
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,000
kept on pointing to.

1170
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,599
Who do you think you are?

1171
00:48:35,599 --> 00:48:39,420
What do you take as your self?

1172
00:48:39,420 --> 00:48:40,849
What is your ego?

1173
00:48:40,849 --> 00:48:43,619
If you had wrote a list of who you

1174
00:48:43,619 --> 00:48:47,229
were, what your attributes were,

1175
00:48:47,229 --> 00:48:48,869
not in theory, but in practice

1176
00:48:48,869 --> 00:48:52,519
and you wrote them down

1177
00:48:52,519 --> 00:48:54,509
how many of those things would be

1178
00:48:54,509 --> 00:48:56,500
the angry person, the victim, the

1179
00:48:56,500 --> 00:48:57,890
person who was abused,

1180
00:48:57,890 --> 00:48:59,249
the person who was divorced,

1181
00:48:59,249 --> 00:49:01,599
the person who was sick,

1182
00:49:01,599 --> 00:49:05,299
the person who's had the mastectomy?

1183
00:49:05,299 --> 00:49:08,079
How many of you take that

1184
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:10,130
to be your self?

1185
00:49:10,130 --> 00:49:11,599
There's a problem there,

1186
00:49:11,599 --> 00:49:13,439
because the Buddha noticed

1187
00:49:13,439 --> 00:49:16,299
if you identify with being that,

1188
00:49:16,299 --> 00:49:23,049
if you become that, you repeat it.

1189
00:49:23,049 --> 00:49:26,050
This is the sense of identity,

1190
00:49:26,050 --> 00:49:27,749
it's one of the reasons why

1191
00:49:27,749 --> 00:49:30,069
when I did go into prisons

1192
00:49:30,069 --> 00:49:31,670
to visit prisoners.

1193
00:49:31,670 --> 00:49:33,589
Again, I've never

1194
00:49:33,589 --> 00:49:35,130
called them criminals, as you've

1195
00:49:35,130 --> 00:49:36,519
heard me say before, there's

1196
00:49:36,519 --> 00:49:38,099
people who've done crimes

1197
00:49:38,099 --> 00:49:40,140
and I kept on telling the people

1198
00:49:40,140 --> 00:49:42,069
in jail, "You are not a criminal.

1199
00:49:42,069 --> 00:49:45,089
You are a person who's done a crime.
You're not a criminal.

1200
00:49:45,089 --> 00:49:47,419
You're something bigger than that.

1201
00:49:47,419 --> 00:49:49,279
Never think of yourself as a criminal.

1202
00:49:49,279 --> 00:49:52,140
You're a person who's done a crime.

1203
00:49:52,140 --> 00:49:56,450
Don't identify with that
terrible act which you did.

1204
00:49:56,450 --> 00:49:57,900
If you make that sense

1205
00:49:57,900 --> 00:49:59,810
of self with your crime, if that's who

1206
00:49:59,810 --> 00:50:01,919
you think you are, you are the burglar,

1207
00:50:01,919 --> 00:50:03,920
you are the killer, you are the rapist,

1208
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,170
you become that.

1209
00:50:06,170 --> 00:50:08,879
Which means when you
get released you'll do it again.

1210
00:50:08,879 --> 00:50:10,249
Because that's who you are.

1211
00:50:10,249 --> 00:50:12,410
You're the rapist, you're the killer,

1212
00:50:12,410 --> 00:50:15,420
you're the adulterer, you're the

1213
00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:21,749
child abuser.

1214
00:50:21,749 --> 00:50:24,539
This is psychology, which I know

1215
00:50:24,539 --> 00:50:26,209
because I've gone deep into my

1216
00:50:26,209 --> 00:50:27,959
mind and seen the way that minds

1217
00:50:27,959 --> 00:50:29,200
work.

1218
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:33,529
If you're -- you make an identity

1219
00:50:33,529 --> 00:50:36,680
of who you think you are, that's

1220
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:38,619
how you relate to the the world.

1221
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:40,209
That's who you become.

1222
00:50:40,209 --> 00:50:42,319
That's what you repeat.

1223
00:50:42,319 --> 00:50:44,189
That's what's expected of you,

1224
00:50:44,189 --> 00:50:46,869
so of course, that's what you do.

1225
00:50:46,869 --> 00:50:50,519
And there we get the repeat

1226
00:50:50,519 --> 00:50:52,210
of the harm and the hurt

1227
00:50:52,210 --> 00:50:54,899
again and again and again and again.

1228
00:50:54,899 --> 00:50:56,369
Why my father never

1229
00:50:56,369 --> 00:50:58,010
thought of himself as the abused

1230
00:50:58,010 --> 00:51:00,140
child, so that's why he never

1231
00:51:00,140 --> 00:51:02,079
repeated the abuse on me.

1232
00:51:02,079 --> 00:51:04,660
Why a person who just forgives,

1233
00:51:04,660 --> 00:51:07,950
lets go, does not become the victim,

1234
00:51:07,950 --> 00:51:15,619
becomes free and can live.

1235
00:51:15,619 --> 00:51:20,189
Last story, was a story which -- again

1236
00:51:20,189 --> 00:51:23,410
many of these stories
you've heard here before

1237
00:51:23,410 --> 00:51:25,539
but, I usually try to bring them

1238
00:51:25,539 --> 00:51:27,369
together in one talk which is on

1239
00:51:27,369 --> 00:51:30,660
this one subject, simply because it fits

1240
00:51:30,660 --> 00:51:32,749
and this talk goes outside and gets

1241
00:51:32,749 --> 00:51:35,099
put on CDs and it's nice to be complete --

1242
00:51:35,099 --> 00:51:38,160
and this was the story of those two

1243
00:51:38,160 --> 00:51:41,089
Australian soldiers meeting together

1244
00:51:41,089 --> 00:51:43,519
in a reunion, they'd both been in the

1245
00:51:43,519 --> 00:51:45,579
Second World War, they'd both been

1246
00:51:45,579 --> 00:51:48,269
in Singapore, the fall of Singapore,

1247
00:51:48,269 --> 00:51:50,999
and both been put in P.O.W. camps.

1248
00:51:50,999 --> 00:51:54,639
Well, one met the other, and said,

1249
00:51:54,639 --> 00:51:56,759
"Have you forgiven the Japanese yet

1250
00:51:56,759 --> 00:51:59,090
for what they did to us and our friends?"

1251
00:51:59,090 --> 00:52:00,550
"No! Never!

1252
00:52:00,550 --> 00:52:02,810
How can you forgive that??"

1253
00:52:02,810 --> 00:52:04,660
said one of the soldiers.

1254
00:52:04,660 --> 00:52:06,260
"What about you?"

1255
00:52:06,260 --> 00:52:08,460
His friend said, "I forgave years ago.

1256
00:52:08,460 --> 00:52:14,009
But you, my friend, are
still in the P.O.W. camp."

1257
00:52:14,009 --> 00:52:16,779
I love that story, simply because

1258
00:52:16,779 --> 00:52:20,240
until you forgive -- until he forgave

1259
00:52:20,240 --> 00:52:22,499
what those guards, those soldiers,

1260
00:52:22,499 --> 00:52:25,261
did to him and his friends,

1261
00:52:25,261 --> 00:52:27,559
in the camps in Changi on the

1262
00:52:27,559 --> 00:52:30,029
Death Railway in Thailand

1263
00:52:30,029 --> 00:52:32,019
on the Burmese border.

1264
00:52:32,019 --> 00:52:33,849
Until they forgave, they were still

1265
00:52:33,849 --> 00:52:35,899
being tortured.

1266
00:52:35,899 --> 00:52:38,651
They're still in the camps.

1267
00:52:38,651 --> 00:52:42,100
They can never be happy.

1268
00:52:42,100 --> 00:52:45,469
His friend had let go and therefore

1269
00:52:45,469 --> 00:52:48,390
he was free.

1270
00:52:48,390 --> 00:52:50,140
So when it comes

1271
00:52:50,140 --> 00:52:53,299
to happiness, you don't have to be

1272
00:52:53,299 --> 00:52:56,450
controlled by what others did to you.

1273
00:52:56,450 --> 00:52:59,559
You don't have to be limited,

1274
00:52:59,559 --> 00:53:04,940
in prison, in jail, by
the crimes which have

1275
00:53:04,940 --> 00:53:08,559
been perpetrated on you in the past.

1276
00:53:08,559 --> 00:53:10,479
You don't even have to worry about

1277
00:53:10,479 --> 00:53:11,939
the crimes which you've done,

1278
00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:14,119
I'm not talking about against the law,

1279
00:53:14,119 --> 00:53:16,319
but the harm and hurt which you

1280
00:53:16,319 --> 00:53:17,929
have done to others.

1281
00:53:17,929 --> 00:53:20,269
I don't know how many
people feel guilty about

1282
00:53:20,269 --> 00:53:22,339
some of the things they've done,

1283
00:53:22,339 --> 00:53:24,179
I've mentioned a few of those things

1284
00:53:24,179 --> 00:53:26,629
I've always felt guilty about: playing

1285
00:53:26,629 --> 00:53:28,760
my Jimmie Hendrix records too loud

1286
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,229
to my father while he was playing his

1287
00:53:31,229 --> 00:53:34,190
Sinatra records, never really, sort of

1288
00:53:34,190 --> 00:53:35,880
being a really good son to

1289
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,860
him; never selling those

1290
00:53:37,860 --> 00:53:39,649
encyclopedias when I was a kid,

1291
00:53:39,649 --> 00:53:41,940
getting someone actually to buy

1292
00:53:41,940 --> 00:53:43,730
an encyclopedia, just a rubbish book.

1293
00:53:43,730 --> 00:53:45,629
I don't know why they even bought that,

1294
00:53:45,629 --> 00:53:46,940
but I made them buy it.

1295
00:53:46,940 --> 00:53:49,059
And all the terrible things you did as

1296
00:53:49,059 --> 00:53:52,430
a kid, gee, what did I do those for?

1297
00:53:52,430 --> 00:53:56,380
It's so easy to feel guilty about the
smallest of things.

1298
00:53:56,380 --> 00:53:58,119
Why not, why can't we just let them

1299
00:53:58,119 --> 00:54:02,200
go, learn from them and move on?

1300
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:04,059
Until you do, you can never be

1301
00:54:04,059 --> 00:54:06,190
free and never be happy.

1302
00:54:06,190 --> 00:54:11,839
And this is not a small thing.

1303
00:54:11,839 --> 00:54:13,619
You can never really be virtuous

1304
00:54:13,619 --> 00:54:17,420
and good until you're free.

1305
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:20,150
And as far as meditation is concerned,

1306
00:54:20,150 --> 00:54:22,200
no matter how many people I've taught

1307
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:24,450
meditation to, when they get to a

1308
00:54:24,450 --> 00:54:26,950
certain point in happiness and peace,

1309
00:54:26,950 --> 00:54:29,599
they can't go any further, and they kept

1310
00:54:29,599 --> 00:54:32,700
coming back with the same complaint,

1311
00:54:32,700 --> 00:54:38,599
"I don't think I deserve to be so happy.

1312
00:54:38,599 --> 00:54:43,209
I don't think I deserve to be at peace.

1313
00:54:43,209 --> 00:54:44,930
I don't think I deserve to be

1314
00:54:44,930 --> 00:54:48,239
enlightened," basically.

1315
00:54:48,239 --> 00:54:51,469
And really that's another
dagger to my heart.

1316
00:54:51,469 --> 00:54:54,019
Why not?
If all I do in my life

1317
00:54:54,019 --> 00:54:56,829
as a monk, teaching here Friday night,

1318
00:54:56,829 --> 00:54:59,789
going overseas, if that's all I ever

1319
00:54:59,789 --> 00:55:02,460
give to you, the conviction that

1320
00:55:02,460 --> 00:55:05,829
you deserve to be happy, that you

1321
00:55:05,829 --> 00:55:08,920
deserve to be free, that you deserve

1322
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,080
to be enlightened.

1323
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,469
You don't feel
so guilty, you don't attach to those

1324
00:55:15,469 --> 00:55:17,460
painful things in the past.

1325
00:55:17,460 --> 00:55:19,769
You are free.

1326
00:55:19,769 --> 00:55:21,390
You can let go,

1327
00:55:21,390 --> 00:55:23,751
both other people's harm, and

1328
00:55:23,751 --> 00:55:27,539
your own harm as well;

1329
00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,269
be able to forgive yourself
and forgive others.

1330
00:55:30,269 --> 00:55:31,719
What that means

1331
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,009
is giving yourself the gift of

1332
00:55:34,009 --> 00:55:36,009
freedom.

1333
00:55:36,009 --> 00:55:38,009
No one else can do that for you.

1334
00:55:38,009 --> 00:55:40,059
Look, a Jesus can't forgive,

1335
00:55:40,059 --> 00:55:42,690
a monk can't forgive, a Buddha

1336
00:55:42,690 --> 00:55:45,759
can't forgive, a God can't forgive,

1337
00:55:45,759 --> 00:55:48,039
only you can forgive you.

1338
00:55:48,039 --> 00:55:49,670
No one else.

1339
00:55:49,670 --> 00:55:50,900
All these other people

1340
00:55:50,900 --> 00:55:52,489
they can encourage, they can teach,

1341
00:55:52,489 --> 00:55:54,209
they can lead, they can inspire,

1342
00:55:54,209 --> 00:55:57,940
but in the end it's up to you.

1343
00:55:57,940 --> 00:56:02,920
One day, one day you'll do that.

1344
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:06,189
This life, the next life, or some life,

1345
00:56:06,189 --> 00:56:08,120
you'll look at all your past, all the

1346
00:56:08,120 --> 00:56:13,592
hurt, all the harm, and let it go.

1347
00:56:13,592 --> 00:56:15,792
Say to yourself, in those words of

1348
00:56:15,792 --> 00:56:19,210
my father, "Whatever I have done

1349
00:56:19,210 --> 00:56:21,810
in my life, what other people

1350
00:56:21,810 --> 00:56:25,569
have done to me, the door of my heart

1351
00:56:25,569 --> 00:56:29,809
is open to me, fully, absolutely.

1352
00:56:29,809 --> 00:56:34,450
Happiness, freedom, come in."

1353
00:56:34,450 --> 00:56:37,609
To be able to invite freedom in,

1354
00:56:37,609 --> 00:56:39,729
invite happiness in.

1355
00:56:39,729 --> 00:56:43,180
There's a liberation there,

1356
00:56:43,180 --> 00:56:44,949
which is why very often the Buddha

1357
00:56:44,949 --> 00:56:47,420
called those enlightenment

1358
00:56:47,420 --> 00:56:50,299
experiences liberations.

1359
00:56:50,299 --> 00:56:53,650
Freedom from suffering, freedom from pain,

1360
00:56:53,650 --> 00:56:56,819
freedom from the past!

1361
00:56:56,819 --> 00:56:59,099
Why do we carry the past around,

1362
00:56:59,099 --> 00:57:01,069
so heavy on our back? Because

1363
00:57:01,069 --> 00:57:04,900
that's what being a victim is.

1364
00:57:04,900 --> 00:57:06,819
I was telling people in Melbourne,

1365
00:57:06,819 --> 00:57:08,459
I just came back from Melbourne

1366
00:57:08,459 --> 00:57:11,359
on Wednesday night, just reminiscing,

1367
00:57:11,359 --> 00:57:13,470
'cause someone asked, "What was

1368
00:57:13,470 --> 00:57:15,630
it like being a monk in Thailand

1369
00:57:15,630 --> 00:57:17,690
many years ago?"

1370
00:57:17,690 --> 00:57:19,769
I was reminiscing

1371
00:57:19,769 --> 00:57:23,849
about one of the most wonderful times

1372
00:57:23,849 --> 00:57:26,029
I had in Thailand.

1373
00:57:26,029 --> 00:57:29,370
When after five years I left my monastery

1374
00:57:29,370 --> 00:57:32,880
with all my possessions on my back

1375
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,359
(and that wasn't many possessions).

1376
00:57:36,359 --> 00:57:39,690
You had to walk and you had

1377
00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:43,180
no place to go, you could go to

1378
00:57:43,180 --> 00:57:46,119
any monastery and have a bed

1379
00:57:46,119 --> 00:57:48,849
for the night, any village in the morning

1380
00:57:48,849 --> 00:57:52,499
with your bowl, and get some food in it.

1381
00:57:52,499 --> 00:57:54,869
You're completely free.

1382
00:57:54,869 --> 00:57:57,149
Any tree you could just sit

1383
00:57:57,149 --> 00:57:59,469
underneath it, put your mosquito net

1384
00:57:59,469 --> 00:58:03,710
there, meditate, sleep.

1385
00:58:03,710 --> 00:58:06,019
It was literally like being a bird,

1386
00:58:06,019 --> 00:58:08,400
but better than being a bird,

1387
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,910
a bird always has to hunt for their food.

1388
00:58:10,910 --> 00:58:12,859
For me, I knew any place,

1389
00:58:12,859 --> 00:58:14,670
any village I went to, there was food

1390
00:58:14,670 --> 00:58:17,829
there for me.

1391
00:58:17,829 --> 00:58:19,150
And it was such a freedom

1392
00:58:19,150 --> 00:58:22,199
because I was attached to no place

1393
00:58:22,199 --> 00:58:26,389
and to no thing.

1394
00:58:26,389 --> 00:58:28,180
Every crossroads I got

1395
00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:32,720
to I could go forward, go left, go right,

1396
00:58:32,720 --> 00:58:35,359
or just turn 'round and go back.

1397
00:58:35,359 --> 00:58:38,130
I had no duties, nothing compelling

1398
00:58:38,130 --> 00:58:42,309
me to go in any directions.

1399
00:58:42,309 --> 00:58:45,640
No duties, no burdens, no things

1400
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:49,430
to do, no unfinished business.

1401
00:58:49,430 --> 00:58:53,349
This complete freedom is physically

1402
00:58:53,349 --> 00:58:56,029
the most freedom I've ever felt,

1403
00:58:56,029 --> 00:58:58,630
and everything you owned,

1404
00:58:58,630 --> 00:59:00,599
you had with you: my bowl,

1405
00:59:00,599 --> 00:59:02,529
my mosquito net, an umbrella,

1406
00:59:02,529 --> 00:59:04,509
water pot, spare set of robes

1407
00:59:04,509 --> 00:59:06,180
and that was all.

1408
00:59:06,180 --> 00:59:07,920
You could wander

1409
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:10,459
wherever you wanted.

1410
00:59:10,459 --> 00:59:13,200
It was so much freedom.

1411
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:14,670
I always remember

1412
00:59:14,670 --> 00:59:17,019
that that's the same freedom which you

1413
00:59:17,019 --> 00:59:19,950
can have in your mind at any time.

1414
00:59:19,950 --> 00:59:22,070
Any crossroads you come to in life,

1415
00:59:22,070 --> 00:59:24,350
go whichever way,

1416
00:59:24,350 --> 00:59:26,969
'cause you're not burdened by the past,

1417
00:59:26,969 --> 00:59:30,589
you're not carrying baggage.

1418
00:59:30,589 --> 00:59:32,990
How much baggage do people carry

1419
00:59:32,990 --> 00:59:35,240
in this life?

1420
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:37,299
Mostly it's the baggage of our past,

1421
00:59:37,299 --> 00:59:40,229
our history.

1422
00:59:40,229 --> 00:59:41,729
What happened to you,

1423
00:59:41,729 --> 00:59:46,439
who did what to you, who said what,

1424
00:59:46,439 --> 00:59:50,939
if you want happiness, let go.

1425
00:59:50,939 --> 00:59:55,490
Free your past, at very least,

1426
00:59:55,490 --> 00:59:57,549
free the pain of the past and keep

1427
00:59:57,549 --> 01:00:01,029
the happy memories -- at least that way

1428
01:00:01,029 --> 01:00:03,689
you're carrying enjoyable baggage --

1429
01:00:03,689 --> 01:00:06,619
but even better to leave it all behind.

1430
01:00:06,619 --> 01:00:09,569
There is such a thing as happiness

1431
01:00:09,569 --> 01:00:12,959
in this world and the happiness

1432
01:00:12,959 --> 01:00:15,109
is no one else's responsibility,

1433
01:00:15,109 --> 01:00:18,769
it's yours and that happiness

1434
01:00:18,769 --> 01:00:20,950
is there for you at any moment

1435
01:00:20,950 --> 01:00:22,949
at any time.

1436
01:00:22,949 --> 01:00:24,259
There's a door, which

1437
01:00:24,259 --> 01:00:26,789
is open from the cell which is

1438
01:00:26,789 --> 01:00:29,349
sometimes what your life feels like,

1439
01:00:29,349 --> 01:00:31,130
being in a prison of your past,

1440
01:00:31,130 --> 01:00:33,019
of what happened to you,

1441
01:00:33,019 --> 01:00:37,359
of your body, your pain, your sickness,

1442
01:00:37,359 --> 01:00:39,319
this pain which has happened to you --

1443
01:00:39,319 --> 01:00:42,449
That's like being in a prison, but it's

1444
01:00:42,449 --> 01:00:45,880
a prison whose door is always open,

1445
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:48,640
always open, it's just sometimes we

1446
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,879
don't know how to walk through it.

1447
01:00:51,879 --> 01:00:53,670
Sometimes we think we're not supposed

1448
01:00:53,670 --> 01:00:55,069
to walk through it.

1449
01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:58,039
And here I tell you,

1450
01:00:58,039 --> 01:01:01,130
walk, be free, let go.

1451
01:01:01,130 --> 01:01:03,211
There is such a thing as happiness in

1452
01:01:03,211 --> 01:01:07,719
life, there is such a thing as freedom,

1453
01:01:07,719 --> 01:01:10,180
there is such a thing as forgiveness

1454
01:01:10,180 --> 01:01:12,450
and reconciliation, there is such

1455
01:01:12,450 --> 01:01:16,240
a thing, there's such love that you can

1456
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:20,230
free yourself and free others and let go.

1457
01:01:20,230 --> 01:01:22,569
And that freedom and that love is

1458
01:01:22,569 --> 01:01:26,210
not a copping out of life, that is the

1459
01:01:26,210 --> 01:01:29,559
heart of a positive response.

1460
01:01:29,559 --> 01:01:31,810
Free yourself and you show

1461
01:01:31,810 --> 01:01:33,870
the way to freedom for others.

1462
01:01:33,870 --> 01:01:35,650
And much of the pain and

1463
01:01:35,650 --> 01:01:38,839
the cause of pain in life -- as the

1464
01:01:38,839 --> 01:01:40,680
Assistant Commissioner said today,

1465
01:01:40,680 --> 01:01:43,010
something like 80 or 90%,

1466
01:01:43,010 --> 01:01:45,970
he was saying of people in prisons

1467
01:01:45,970 --> 01:01:48,400
in Western Australia have themselves

1468
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:54,009
been victims of child abuse.

1469
01:01:54,009 --> 01:01:56,009
Because they could not forgive,

1470
01:01:56,009 --> 01:01:59,009
because they could not let go,

1471
01:01:59,009 --> 01:02:01,119
because they could not find freedom,

1472
01:02:01,119 --> 01:02:04,079
now they're in jail

1473
01:02:04,079 --> 01:02:07,779
having also caused pain to others.

1474
01:02:07,779 --> 01:02:10,680
So what is the way forward?

1475
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:13,410
I think I've shown it to you:

1476
01:02:13,410 --> 01:02:16,479
to have the guts to see things in

1477
01:02:16,479 --> 01:02:20,829
a different way, to free oneself.

1478
01:02:20,829 --> 01:02:22,809
You don't need to feel grief,

1479
01:02:22,809 --> 01:02:24,579
you don't need to feel that pain.

1480
01:02:24,579 --> 01:02:27,039
You can walk out whenever you want.

1481
01:02:27,039 --> 01:02:29,249
It's called freedom,

1482
01:02:29,249 --> 01:02:32,469
the path to happiness.

1483
01:02:32,469 --> 01:02:34,049
That's the talk this evening

1484
01:02:34,049 --> 01:02:35,509
on is it possible to be happy?

1485
01:02:35,509 --> 01:02:38,700
Yes, that's one of the ways how.

1486
01:02:38,700 --> 01:02:42,169
Audience: Sadhu, Sadhu, Sadhu!

1487
01:02:42,169 --> 01:02:45,210
Ajahn: Ok, so any questions or comments?

1488
01:02:45,210 --> 01:02:47,160
I hope it's been challenging,

1489
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:49,680
I hope a few people disagree with me.

1490
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:53,150
Otherwise, I didn't challenge hard enough.

1491
01:02:53,150 --> 01:02:55,879
Any comments or questions

1492
01:02:55,879 --> 01:02:59,759
about the talk this evening?

1493
01:02:59,759 --> 01:03:01,660
Maybe that's just something for

1494
01:03:01,660 --> 01:03:03,619
you to contemplate... see later on

1495
01:03:03,619 --> 01:03:07,670
if it makes sense or not.

1496
01:03:07,670 --> 01:03:10,565
No, no comments, questions? Ok