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Sangat ji, when I think about a woman 
who has become a change,

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or has brought change to womanhood 
in the Sikh Panth

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I think about Mata Khivi Ji.

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Mata Khivi Ji is the Mehl of 
Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj

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Mehl here means wife.

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In her life Sangat ji Mata Khivi Ji has shown
so much of strength.

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When I say strength I don't just mean 
physical strength, but mental strength.

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Her ability to go against the stigma
set by society.

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And what was that which we face even now?

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That is 'what will people say?'

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It's true Sangat ji, it was then back in her time
and it is also happening now in out time as well.

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We are so concerned about what people would say.

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We are so concerned about making people happy,

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about doing what people, all society, thinks is acceptable.

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But Mata Khivi Ji was not like that.

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For her, it was not important to make people happy.

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It was not important to make or do what people 
want her to do - what was accepted

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in the eyes of society.

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But it was important to her to do what was good,
what made Guru Sahib happy.

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What was accepted in the eyes of the Guru.

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When Guru Angad Ji Maharaj, then their name was
Bhai Lehna Ji

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told their wife that they wanted to go to 
Kartarpur Sahib to stay with Guru Nanak Dev Ji,

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to serve them, to learn from them on how one 
can do Bhagti while being a Grihst,

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Mata Khivi Ji never said no.

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Normally, now at this point of time if a husband or a 
wife, or any family member decides to

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perhaps leave the household and go to search 
for his life purpose,

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many parents or many family members would say no,
why are you leaving? Who is going to earn money?

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How are you going to survive?

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But, at that time Sangat ji, Mata Khivi Ji said
do as you wish, do what makes you happy.

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If this makes you happy to go and serve the Guru
and to learn the ways of doing Bhagti

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whilst being a Grihst, do so.

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But, oh dear husband, this is my Benti 
that when you come back

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I would like you to teach me the ways as well.

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Teach me on how I too can do Bhagti 
as a wife

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and how both of us, as husband 
and wife could do Bhagti together in this house.

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See how positive the reponse of 
Mata Khivi Ji was.

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Another quality of hers was acceptance.

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She accepted Hukam, which we call Bhana Manna/Hukam Manna

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Gurbani Says,

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To be able to obtain or get - Khasam here means Maharaj, Guru Sahib, Parmatma -

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When you Mann, when you accept the Hukam, then you are accepted as well.

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You are accepted in the palace of Parmatma, 
you are accepted in the house of the Guru.

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Just like I mentioned earlier, Khasmai Bhaavai - 
what is accepted in the eyes of Parmatma,

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So Kare - do so. Do that which is accepted in the 
house of the Guru.

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Then one, a soul bride, who does that, then all her
wishes are fulfilled.

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And that is what Mata Khivi Ji practised in her life.

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Now Sangat Ji, Guru Angad Dev Ji, Bha Lehna Ji has left to Kartarpur,

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who is going to take care of the house?

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Who is going to feed the 4 children?

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Who is going to make sure that
there is food on the table?

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All that responsibility went on the 
shoulders of Mata Khivi Ji.

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Not even once Mata Khivi Ji said
oh no or what has happened? Why has this happened?

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Not even once.

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Her whole life she learned to accept the 
Bhana, that whatever is happening is

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happening in the Hukam of Parmatma.

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But Sangat Ji, remember I mentioned about society?

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The place that she was staying in and the village,

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there was some woman who, I would say, 
tried to give fake sympathy,

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who would come and say 'what's happened here?',

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your husband has left you, all the responsibilities
are on your shoulders.

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Even now people do so as well - fake sympathy.

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And Mata Khivi Ji would not pay any heed to 
what this woman would say,

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because she knows that they are trying 
to break her spirit.

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She would just smile and

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She would do that.

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Which Sangat Ji, is something that we should practise
as well.

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We can't stop people from talking, but one thing
we can do is whatever is being put in one ear

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just take it out from the other.

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So that we do not dwell upon it,

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because then we start thinking about it,
we start stressing about it.

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Mata Khivi Ji's condition was

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That even if Parmatma gives me Sukh,
I will still remember Parmatma.

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Even in Dukh and times like this where I have
to take care of my whole family,

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I am alone with my children and all this society,

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the people are tying to provoke me,

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but even in Dukh I will still do Your Simran, 
I will still remember You.

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Guru Angad Dev Ji Maharaj, they say about woman 
in their Bani, they say

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Whenever there is Sukh there is happiness, joy, there is peace, enjoy your husband,

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but even in Dukh always remember your husband Lord,
always remember Parmatma.

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O' wise woman, this is the way you can be 
one with Vaheguru,

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The way you can unite with Parmatma.

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So Mata Khivi Ji kept on taking care of the family

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and time to time Bhai Lehna Ji would come back

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and they would share what Guru Nanak Dev Ji had taught them

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and they would share those teachings with Mata Khivi Ji

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and Mata Khivi Ji would practise Simran, Seva, 
Hukam Mann'na and all of the things

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Bhai Lehna Ji would come and tell her about 
Guru Nanak Dev Ji.

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Both of them had so much love for Guru Nanak Dev Ji.

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The time came Sangat Ji when Bhai Lehna Ji has been 
give the Guru Gaddi.

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They have become Guru Angad Dev Ji

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and Guru Nanak Dev Ji tells them to move to 
Khadoor Sahib

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to shift there and to start a Dharamsala there.

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And now Guru Angad Dev Ji comes to Khadoor Sahib

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Now imagine Sangat Ji, where it used to only be you, 
your husband and your 4 children,

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now your house has been transformed into 
a Dharamsala where Sangat come daily

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to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji

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and you can't leave this Sangat on their own.

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You can't make this Sangat go back empty-handed,
empty stomach. You have to feed them.

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Mata Khivi Ji took the responsibility of cooking Langar
for these Sangat.

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And Sangat Ji, what was the quantity at that time?

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10, 20, 30 and on some days even up to 100s.

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Maybe a group of Sadhus would come.

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And she was always on her toes. She accepted the Hukam that now my husband has become the Guru,

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the second Guru of the Sikhs.

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Her daily routine changed. Now she serves her husband, she takes care of the children,

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but she also takes care of the Sangat.

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She feeds the Sangat, she starts cooking langar for 
the Sangat.

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At that time Sangat Ji again the society, at that point the time of Guru Nanak Dev Ji

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the time of Guru Angad Dev Ji, the woman they used to cover their faces.

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They used to cover their faces with their Dupatta, whenever they go out,

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or even in their house.

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But Mata Khivi Ji, now that her house has become a Dharamsala, she has to use both her hands to work

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and she has to be on her toes at all times, 
whenever Sangat comes, she has to serve them.

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So there is no time to cover her face.

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It was all about practicality. She took off the scarf and now she is doing seva alongside men.

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And cooking Langar.

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She takes these men as her brothers, as her sons
and she's working together hand in hand to cook Langar

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in bulk amount for Sangat.

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The women in the village, at first they started talking about it, 'What has Khivi Ji done here?'

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Now she's removed her veil as well, 
now she's working with men,

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but Mata Khivi Ji again she did not pay any heed to what these people were saying,

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because for her what was more important was doing
Seva of the Sangat,

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just as Guru Nanak Dev Ji has told.

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And making sure that these Sangat were comfortable
and that Guru Angad Dev Ji could focus on the Sangat,

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whilst she could focus on the food, on the Langar part.

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She served her husband in the morning, 
because Guru Angad Dev Ji would not eat

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form the Langar served for the Sangat.

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Their food was very simple and Mata Khivi Ji 
would serve her husband in the morning

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and then go to to cook Langar for the whole day.

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And in the afternoon when Guru Angad Dev Ji 
would be teaching Gurmukhi to the children

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Mata Khivi Ji would also do the same with 
Baba Buddha Ji,

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they would also teach Gurmukhi to the children.

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This was the life of Mata Khivi Ji.

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Slowly, slowly, because she kept on doing - this is where Sangat Ji actions speak louder than words

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these women, they other people, the other ladies in the Village they started seeing that there is so much

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Seva going on, there's so many Sangat coming to have Darshan of Guru Angad Dev Ji.

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Mata Khivi Ji, with so much dedication, is doing Seva
for the Sangat.

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Why don't we too join her?

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This was the first legacy of Mata Khivi Ji.

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The preacher of woman liberation.

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To remove the khund. Where other women started
coming, being inspired by Mata Khivi Ji,

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also started doing Seva in the Langar.

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Now they could serve more people.

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The second legacy of Mata Khivi Ji, which is now
in Guru Granth Sahib Ji,

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her mention in Guru Granth Sahib Ji, 
by Sataa and Bhai Balwand.

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What did they say?

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That Mata Khivi Ji is a pious woman, she is a wise
woman, she is a good lady.

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And her nature, she is so cool she is so calm. 
Just like a tree that gives shade to people.

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Mata Khivi Ji is like that, her nature is cool and so calm.

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She has no anger, she is no ego towards anybody.

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Her nature, what she would do daily, is to 
serve Langar, to help people in need.

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And her legacy was the Kheer - the rice pudding - that Mata Khivi Ji would make daily

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and it tasted like Amrit.

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So Guru Angad Dev Ji, would be giving the Bhojan of Naam to the Sangat

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and on the other hand Mata Khivi Ji would be giving the Bhojan of Kheer, of Amrit, to the Sangat.

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And Sangat would come from far to meet Guru Angad Dev Ji, but also to eat in the langar by Mata Khivi Ji.

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Even after 30 years of the passing of Guru Angad Dev Ji, Mata Khivi Ji still continued to serve Langar.

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She still continued to Seva and acceptance in Hukam
was shown when Guru Amar Das Ji was

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given the Guru Gaddi.

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She never cared for once that the Guru Gaddi should be give to my children.

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That Bhai Datu Ji and Bhai Dasu Ji deserve to be the Guru.

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She accepted that Guru Amar Das Ji is the next Guru.

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She Matha Tek to Guru Amar Das Ji,

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she told her children you too must accept 
Guru Amar Das Ji as the Guru.

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When Bhai Datu Ji went against Guru Amar Das Ji 
and kicked them and they fell from the Takht,

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When Mata Khivi Ji learnt about this Sangat Ji, she was
so upset with her son

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that she brought her son to Guru Amar Das Ji 
to ask for forgiveness.

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And she herself fell in the feet of the Guru and said 
forgive me, as a mother I could not educate my son.

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I could not give them these virtues, these qualities,
that they could see the Guruship in You.

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That they could see the Pamatma in You.

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Please forgive me.

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That was how Mata Khivi Ji was, acceptance and Hukam.

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Sangat Ji, what I am going to tell you now is so important,

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especially to my sisters out there who have 
become wives,

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or are going to become a wife one day.

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Mata Khivi Ji as a mother she gave valuable teachings 
to Bibi Amro Ji, her daughter.

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When Bibi Amro Ji was going to get married in 
the house of Guru Amar Das Ji,

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because Bibi Amro is married to the nephew of 
Guru Amar Das Ji.

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When Mata Khivi Ji was going to send her daughter off,
she gave 3 advice to Bibi Amro Ji.

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I call out to all my sisters out there,
that these advice, you can call it marriage advice,

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it is so important.

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But maybe perhaps now we have lost these values,
we have lost the meaning of even these advice

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that I am going to share with you.

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The first advice that Mata Khivi Ji gave to her daughter 
was, take the support of Gurbani.

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Make sure you read Gurbani daily, 
before starting any work.

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In the morning, when you wake up read Gurbani.

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When you are doing your work, when you are cooking,
when you are cleaning the house

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when you are serving you in-laws, read Gurbani.

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The second advice that Mata Khivi Ji gave, was that
treat your in-laws as your own family.

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If, you want love you have to be able to give love.

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But to be able to give love Sangat Ji, we have to 
be full of love.

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And Gurbani speaks a lot about love.

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I have spoken about this in this series, in the sakhi of
Bebe Nanaki Ji in the last video, about love.

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Bibi Amro Ji accepted, she said it is true, if I want love 
from my in-laws I have to treat them as my own family.

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I have to treat my mother-in-law as my own mother,
my father-in-law as my own father.

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And the third advice that Mata Khivi Ji gave and 
Guru Angad Dev Ji gave as well to Bibi Amro Ji,

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that not to return back home unless 
you are called for.

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This is very difficult advice for us to follow, 
but back then that was what the parents of Bibi Amro Ji

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asked of her, not to return unless you are called for.

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Because now you are duty is for your in-laws. 
Serve them as you would have served your own family.

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And Sangat Ji, look at the effect of these advice given by Mata Khivi Ji.

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Which is why it is so important for a woman, 
it is in our hands that we could build a family

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based of the the virtues, the values of Sikhi, 
or we can even break a family as well.

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It is in the hands of a woman, it is in the hands mother or of a wife,

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to be able to give their family Gursikhi Jeevan.

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And how did that happen? Bibi Amro Ji, daily she would 
recite Gurbani,

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when she wakes up, when she will be cooking and 
it was that one day where Guru Amar Das Ji,

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before they became a Guru, 
when they were called a Nigura

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that was the day when they came home
and they heard their daughter-in-law reciting Gurbani.

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And that one day Guru Amar Das Ji asked,

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O' daughter, whose Bani is this you are reading?

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And Bibi Amro Ji then says this is the Bani of
Guru Nanak Dev Ji

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and now my father, Guru Angad Dev Ji is sitting 
on the Gaddi.

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And imagine Sangat Ji, it was from that day, 
because of the advice given by Mata Khivi Ji

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to Bibi Amro Ji, and her practising it daily.

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One day it came where Guru Amar Das Ji found the Guru, through Bibi Amro Ji.

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How amazing is that Sangat Ji?

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And then, what happens next?

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Guru Amar Das Ji themself, 
seeing the life of Mata Khivi Ji

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how she became a change and brought change
to the women in her village

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and the community.

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Guru Amar Das Ji then goes on to work on 
upliftment of woman.

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How? By removing the Parda completely, 
by removing the practice of Sati completely.

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By making women Prachriks.

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Giving them Manjia

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and one of those woman Prachariks was
Bibi Bhani Ji, their own daughter.

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How amazing is that?

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Guru Amar Das Ji, they uplifted women so much in 
Sikh society.

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And I would say that this credit goes to Mata Khivi Ji 
as well.

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For giving those advice to Bibi Amro Ji and 
we can see how this becomes a chain reaction.

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So this is for us to contemplate as well.

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That why was families back then so strong?

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It was because of the woman, their Sikhi was strong.

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Their mental and physical strength was strong.

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But now I ask this question,

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Are we becoming weaker?

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Which is why it is in the hands of the woman Sangat Ji
to build a family based on Sikhi.

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Give those values, those teachings, those advice 
to our sons and daughters,

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on how they can become Gursikhs themselves.

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Just like Mata Khivi Ji did to Bibi Amro Ji.

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And if we want to bring change to society, 
we first have to become that change.

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Just like how Mata Khivi Ji became that change.

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And then just as the Pangti I mentioned earlier.

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And until now Mata Khivi Ji is remembered 
every time we read Guru Granth Sahib Ji,

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every time we read the Bani of Bhai Sataa and Bhai Balwand Ji, we are reminded of Mata Khivi Ji.

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We are reminded about her nature.

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Just like a tree, if you look at the qualities of a tree.

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Think about it.

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A tree is upright, the roots are so strong.

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No wind can just bring a tree down, 
the roots are so strong.

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The leaves they give out oxygen, 
they give shade to people.

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Even when a person comes and cut 
down that tree,

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the tree does not complain, does not cry, 
does not curse the person.

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Still after being chopped down, 
the tree still serves its purpose.

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Gives us paper, gives us fruit, gives us flower.

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This is the nature of a tree,
this is also the nature of Mata Khivi Ji.

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Which is why she has been referred to as such 
in Gurbani.

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So Sangat Ji, I hope that we have been inspired 
by the life of Mata Khivi Ji.

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That to bring a change into our society, 
that we first become the change,

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then action will speak louder than words.

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And as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter, pass 
on these virtues to our own sisters

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our own daughters, so that they too one day
when they become a wife,

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when they go to another family,
they can then continue giving those advice,

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to the future generation as well.

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The next woman, the next Mata Ji, the next personality 
that we are going to explore is Bibi Bhani Ji

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and how Bibi Bhani Ji has done such a big 
Parupkaar to Khalsa Panth.

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And I will share this in the next video.

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So I hope you enjoyed this video on Mata Khivi Ji.

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Please forgive me for any mistakes I have made.