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Imagine that you're getting ready
to go to a party.

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You feel excited, but also nervous,

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and you've got this feeling
in your stomach

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almost like another heartbeat.

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There's something holding you back,
holding you back from getting too happy.

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"No, you mustn't get too happy.

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Better to be cautious, otherwise,
something bad might happen."

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You start wondering,
"Who should I talk to when I get there?

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What if no one wants to talk to me?
What if they'll think I'm weird?"

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When you arrive at the party,

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someone comes up to you
and starts talking with you,

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and as this is happening,

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your mind starts racing,
your heart begins pounding,

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you start sweating,

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and it feels almost like
you're dissociating from yourself,

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like it's an out-of-body experience,
and you're just watching yourself talk.

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"Keep it together," you say
to yourself, but you can't.

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And it's just getting worse:

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after a few minutes of conversation,

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the person
you've been speaking to leaves,

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and you feel utterly defeated.

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This has been happening to you
in social situations for a long time.

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Or imagine every time you go out,
and you're in crowded places,

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you feel this panic starting to arise.

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When you're surrounded by lots of people,

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like on a bus, you start
to feel hot, nauseous, uneasy,

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and to prevent this from happening,

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you start avoiding a lot of places
which makes you feel lonely and isolated.

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You or the person
in both of these scenarios

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have anxiety disorders,

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and what I can tell you
is that anxiety is very common,

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much more than people think.

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Right now, one in 14 people
around the world

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have an anxiety disorder,

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and each year, it costs
over 42 billion dollars

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to treat this mental health problem.

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To show you the impact
that anxiety has on someone's life,

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I will just mention

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that anxiety can lead to depression,
school dropout, suicide.

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It makes it harder to focus,
and to hold down a job,

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and it can lead
to relationship breakdown.

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But a lot of people don't know this,

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that's why, a lot of times,
people sweep anxiety under the rug

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as just nerves that you need
to get over, as a weakness,

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but anxiety is so much more than that.

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A reason why so many people
don't think it's important

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is that they don't know what it is.

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Is it your personality? Is it an illness?
Is it a normal sensation? What is?

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That's why it's important
to differentiate

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what is normal anxiety
from what is an anxiety disorder.

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Normal anxiety is
an emotion that we all get

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when we're in stressful situations.

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For example, let's say,
you're out in the woods,

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and you come face-to-face with a bear.

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This will probably make you feel
a little bit anxious,

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and you'll probably want
to start running like crazy.

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This anxious feeling that you get is good
because it protects you, it saves you,

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and it makes you
on a hightail it out of there,

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although maybe it's not such a good idea
to start running when you see a bear.

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I really don't think
you can outrun a bear.

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Anxiety helps us meet
our deadlines at work

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and deal with emergencies in life,

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but when this anxiety emotion
is taken to the extreme

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and arises in situations
which don't pose a real threat,

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then that's when you might have
an anxiety disorder.

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For example, people
with generalized anxiety disorder

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worry excessively and constantly
about everything going on in their lives,

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and they find it very difficult
to control this worry.

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They also have symptoms
like restlessness, fear,

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they find it hard to fall asleep at night,
and they can't concentrate on tasks.

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In spite of whatever kind of anxiety
you might be suffering from,

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there is something
that you can do to lower it.

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It works, and it's simpler
than you may think.

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All too often, we're given
medication for mental disorders,

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but it doesn't always work
in the long run.

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Symptoms often come back,
and you're back to where you started.

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So here's something else to consider:

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the way you cope or handle things
has a direct impact

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on how much anxiety you're experiencing,

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and if you tweak the way you're coping,
then you can lower your anxiety.

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In our study
at the University of Cambridge,

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we showed that women living in poor areas

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have a higher risk for anxiety
than women living in richer areas.

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These results didn't surprise us,
but when we looked closer,

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we found that women living in poor areas,

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if they had a particular set
of coping resources,

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they didn't have anxiety,

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while women living in poor areas
without these coping resources

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had anxiety.

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Other studies showed

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that people who had faced
extreme circumstances,

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who had faced adversity, been
through wars and natural disasters,

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if they had coping resources,

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they remained healthy
and free of mental disorders,

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while others, facing the same hardships
but without coping skills

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went on a downward spiral
and developed mental disorders.

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So what are
some of these coping resources,

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and how can we use them
to lower our anxiety?

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And before I dive into what they are,

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I'd like to point out -
and I think this is so interesting -

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you can develop these coping resources
or coping skills on your own

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through the things that you do;

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you can take charge
of your anxiety and lower it,

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which I think is so empowering.

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Today I'll be talking about
three coping resources,

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and the first one is feeling like
you're in control of your life.

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People who feel like they're
more in control of their life

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have better mental health.

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If you feel like
you're lacking in control in life,

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then research shows

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that you should engage in experiences
that give you greater control.

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I'll show you what I mean:

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do you sometimes find that you put off
starting something

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because you just don't feel ready enough?

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Do you find it hard to make decisions

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like what to wear, what to eat
who to date, which job to take up?

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Do you tend to waste a lot of time

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deciding what you might do
while nothing gets done?

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A way to overcome indecision
and this lack of control in life,

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is to do it badly.

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There's a quote by writer
and poet GK Chesterton

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that says, "Anything worth doing
is worth doing badly the first time."

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The reason why this works so well

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is that it speeds up your decision-making
and catapults you straight into action,

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otherwise, you can spend hours

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deciding how you should go
about doing something

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or what you should do.

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This can be paralyzing and can make
you afraid to even begin.

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All too often, we aim for perfection,
but never end up doing anything

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because the standards
that we set for ourselves

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are too high, they're intimidating,

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which stresses us out
so we delay starting something,

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or we might even abandon
the whole thing altogether.

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Do it badly frees you up to take action.

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I mean you know how it is:

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so often, we want to do
something perfectly we can't start

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until it's the perfect time,
until we've got all the skills,

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but this can be daunting and stressful

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so why not just jump into it
just do it however,

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without worrying if it's good or bad?

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This will make it that much easier
to start something

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and as you're doing it badly to finish it,

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and when you look back,

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you'll realize, more often than not,
that actually it's not that bad.

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A close friend of mine who has anxiety

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started using this motto,
and this is what she said,

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"When I started using this motto,
my life transformed.

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I found I could complete tasks
in much shorter time periods than before.

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Do it badly gave me wings to take risks,
to try something differently,

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and to have way more fun
during the whole process.

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It took the anxiety out of everything
and replaced it with excitement."

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So do it badly, and you can improve
as you go along.

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I'd like to ask you to think about this:

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if you start using this motto today,
how would your life change?

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The second coping strategy
is to forgive yourself,

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and this is very powerful if you use it.

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People with anxiety think a lot about

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what they're doing wrong, their worries,
and how bad they're feeling.

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Imagine if you had a friend
who constantly pointed out

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everything you're doing wrong,

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and everything
that was wrong with your life.

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You would probably want

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to get rid of this person
right away, wouldn't you?

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Well, people with anxiety
do this to themselves all day long.

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They're not kind to themselves.

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So maybe it's time to start
being kinder with ourselves,

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time to start supporting ourselves,

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and a way to do this
is to forgive yourself

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for any mistakes you think

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you might have made
just a few moments ago

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to mistakes made in the past.

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If you had a panic attack
and are embarrassed about it,

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forgive yourself;

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if you wanted to talk to someone,

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but couldn't muster up
the courage to do so,

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don't worry about it, let it go;

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forgive yourself
for anything and everything

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and this will give you
greater compassion towards yourself.

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You can't begin to heal until you do this.

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And last but not least,

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having a purpose and meaning in life

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is a very important coping mechanism.

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Whatever we do in life,
whatever work we produce,

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however much money we make,

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we cannot be fully happy until we know
that someone else needs us,

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that someone else depends on
our accomplishments,

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or on the love that we have to share.

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It's not that we need

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other people's good words
to keep going in life,

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but if we don't do something
with someone else in mind,

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then we're at much higher risk
for poor mental health.

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The famous neurologist
Dr. Victor Frankel said,

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"For people who think
there's nothing to live for

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and nothing more to expect from life,

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the question is getting
these people to realize

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that life is still expecting
something from them."

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Doing something with someone else in mind
can carry you through the toughest times.

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You'll know the why for your existence

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and will be able to bear
almost any how; almost any how.

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So the question is

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do you do at least one thing
with someone else in mind?

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This could be volunteering,

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or it could be sharing this knowledge
that you gained today with other people,

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especially those who need it most,

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and these are often the people
who don't have money for therapy,

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and they're usually the ones

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with the highest rates
of anxiety disorders.

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Give it to them, share with others,

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because it can really improve
your mental health.

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So I would like to conclude with this:

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another way you can do something
with someone else in mind

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is finishing work that might benefit
future generations.

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Even if these people will never realize
what you've done for them,

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it doesn't matter,

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because you will know,
and this will make you realize

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the uniqueness
and importance of your life.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)