0:00:16.264,0:00:19.569
Imagine that you're getting ready[br]to go to a party.

0:00:19.919,0:00:22.923
You feel excited, but also nervous,

0:00:22.924,0:00:25.476
and you've got this feeling[br]in your stomach

0:00:25.477,0:00:27.845
almost like another heartbeat.

0:00:28.860,0:00:34.030
There's something holding you back,[br]holding you back from getting too happy.

0:00:34.656,0:00:36.494
"No, you mustn't get too happy.

0:00:36.495,0:00:41.562
Better to be cautious, otherwise,[br]something bad might happen."

0:00:41.938,0:00:46.168
You start wondering,[br]"Who should I talk to when I get there?

0:00:46.169,0:00:52.078
What if no one wants to talk to me?[br]What if they'll think I'm weird?"

0:00:53.464,0:00:55.062
When you arrive at the party,

0:00:55.063,0:00:58.533
someone comes up to you[br]and starts talking with you,

0:00:58.534,0:01:00.232
and as this is happening,

0:01:00.233,0:01:04.917
your mind starts racing,[br]your heart begins pounding,

0:01:05.429,0:01:06.798
you start sweating,

0:01:06.799,0:01:10.781
and it feels almost like[br]you're dissociating from yourself,

0:01:10.782,0:01:15.479
like it's an out-of-body experience,[br]and you're just watching yourself talk.

0:01:16.499,0:01:20.611
"Keep it together," you say[br]to yourself, but you can't.

0:01:20.612,0:01:23.171
And it's just getting worse:

0:01:24.171,0:01:26.076
after a few minutes of conversation,

0:01:26.077,0:01:28.838
the person[br]you've been speaking to leaves,

0:01:28.839,0:01:31.735
and you feel utterly defeated.

0:01:33.344,0:01:38.696
This has been happening to you[br]in social situations for a long time.

0:01:39.051,0:01:43.074
Or imagine every time you go out,[br]and you're in crowded places,

0:01:43.075,0:01:46.470
you feel this panic starting to arise.

0:01:46.471,0:01:48.787
When you're surrounded by lots of people,

0:01:48.788,0:01:53.800
like on a bus, you start[br]to feel hot, nauseous, uneasy,

0:01:54.769,0:01:56.932
and to prevent this from happening,

0:01:56.933,0:02:02.951
you start avoiding a lot of places[br]which makes you feel lonely and isolated.

0:02:03.816,0:02:08.122
You or the person[br]in both of these scenarios

0:02:08.124,0:02:10.408
have anxiety disorders,

0:02:10.949,0:02:14.583
and what I can tell you[br]is that anxiety is very common,

0:02:14.584,0:02:17.473
much more than people think.

0:02:17.474,0:02:21.165
Right now, one in 14 people[br]around the world

0:02:21.166,0:02:23.589
have an anxiety disorder,

0:02:23.590,0:02:28.864
and each year, it costs[br]over 42 billion dollars

0:02:28.865,0:02:32.844
to treat this mental health problem.

0:02:32.845,0:02:36.097
To show you the impact[br]that anxiety has on someone's life,

0:02:36.098,0:02:37.378
I will just mention

0:02:37.379,0:02:43.524
that anxiety can lead to depression,[br]school dropout, suicide.

0:02:44.904,0:02:49.129
It makes it harder to focus,[br]and to hold down a job,

0:02:49.619,0:02:52.589
and it can lead[br]to relationship breakdown.

0:02:52.989,0:02:55.023
But a lot of people don't know this,

0:02:55.024,0:02:59.084
that's why, a lot of times,[br]people sweep anxiety under the rug

0:02:59.085,0:03:04.696
as just nerves that you need[br]to get over, as a weakness,

0:03:05.146,0:03:07.385
but anxiety is so much more than that.

0:03:08.705,0:03:11.856
A reason why so many people[br]don't think it's important

0:03:11.857,0:03:14.226
is that they don't know what it is.

0:03:14.227,0:03:21.227
Is it your personality? Is it an illness?[br]Is it a normal sensation? What is?

0:03:22.831,0:03:26.072
That's why it's important[br]to differentiate

0:03:26.073,0:03:30.488
what is normal anxiety[br]from what is an anxiety disorder.

0:03:32.277,0:03:35.571
Normal anxiety is[br]an emotion that we all get

0:03:35.572,0:03:38.035
when we're in stressful situations.

0:03:38.036,0:03:41.688
For example, let's say,[br]you're out in the woods,

0:03:41.689,0:03:45.376
and you come face-to-face with a bear.

0:03:46.650,0:03:50.184
This will probably make you feel[br]a little bit anxious,

0:03:50.185,0:03:53.668
and you'll probably want[br]to start running like crazy.

0:03:54.354,0:04:00.404
This anxious feeling that you get is good[br]because it protects you, it saves you,

0:04:00.405,0:04:03.886
and it makes you[br]on a hightail it out of there,

0:04:03.887,0:04:08.410
although maybe it's not such a good idea[br]to start running when you see a bear.

0:04:08.650,0:04:11.249
I really don't think[br]you can outrun a bear.

0:04:13.592,0:04:16.935
Anxiety helps us meet[br]our deadlines at work

0:04:16.935,0:04:19.841
and deal with emergencies in life,

0:04:19.841,0:04:24.287
but when this anxiety emotion[br]is taken to the extreme

0:04:24.952,0:04:29.231
and arises in situations[br]which don't pose a real threat,

0:04:29.232,0:04:32.851
then that's when you might have[br]an anxiety disorder.

0:04:32.852,0:04:36.481
For example, people[br]with generalized anxiety disorder

0:04:36.482,0:04:41.871
worry excessively and constantly[br]about everything going on in their lives,

0:04:41.872,0:04:46.552
and they find it very difficult[br]to control this worry.

0:04:47.745,0:04:52.235
They also have symptoms[br]like restlessness, fear,

0:04:52.630,0:04:58.490
they find it hard to fall asleep at night,[br]and they can't concentrate on tasks.

0:04:59.595,0:05:05.974
In spite of whatever kind of anxiety[br]you might be suffering from,

0:05:05.975,0:05:09.734
there is something[br]that you can do to lower it.

0:05:09.735,0:05:13.715
It works, and it's simpler[br]than you may think.

0:05:15.051,0:05:18.500
All too often, we're given[br]medication for mental disorders,

0:05:18.501,0:05:21.020
but it doesn't always work[br]in the long run.

0:05:21.021,0:05:25.021
Symptoms often come back,[br]and you're back to where you started.

0:05:25.560,0:05:28.359
So here's something else to consider:

0:05:28.360,0:05:33.249
the way you cope or handle things[br]has a direct impact

0:05:33.250,0:05:37.250
on how much anxiety you're experiencing,

0:05:37.473,0:05:43.383
and if you tweak the way you're coping,[br]then you can lower your anxiety.

0:05:45.523,0:05:47.862
In our study[br]at the University of Cambridge,

0:05:47.863,0:05:51.032
we showed that women living in poor areas

0:05:51.033,0:05:55.362
have a higher risk for anxiety[br]than women living in richer areas.

0:05:55.363,0:05:59.492
These results didn't surprise us,[br]but when we looked closer,

0:05:59.493,0:06:02.542
we found that women living in poor areas,

0:06:02.543,0:06:06.382
if they had a particular set[br]of coping resources,

0:06:06.383,0:06:08.382
they didn't have anxiety,

0:06:08.383,0:06:13.842
while women living in poor areas[br]without these coping resources

0:06:13.843,0:06:15.153
had anxiety.

0:06:16.078,0:06:17.477
Other studies showed

0:06:17.478,0:06:21.137
that people who had faced[br]extreme circumstances,

0:06:21.138,0:06:25.267
who had faced adversity, been[br]through wars and natural disasters,

0:06:25.268,0:06:27.927
if they had coping resources,

0:06:27.928,0:06:31.838
they remained healthy[br]and free of mental disorders,

0:06:32.093,0:06:36.822
while others, facing the same hardships[br]but without coping skills

0:06:36.823,0:06:41.483
went on a downward spiral[br]and developed mental disorders.

0:06:42.979,0:06:47.878
So what are[br]some of these coping resources,

0:06:47.879,0:06:52.229
and how can we use them[br]to lower our anxiety?

0:06:53.275,0:06:55.294
And before I dive into what they are,

0:06:55.295,0:06:58.914
I'd like to point out -[br]and I think this is so interesting -

0:06:58.915,0:07:05.915
you can develop these coping resources[br]or coping skills on your own

0:07:05.955,0:07:08.355
through the things that you do;

0:07:09.077,0:07:12.316
you can take charge[br]of your anxiety and lower it,

0:07:12.317,0:07:14.877
which I think is so empowering.

0:07:17.015,0:07:20.604
Today I'll be talking about[br]three coping resources,

0:07:20.605,0:07:25.435
and the first one is feeling like[br]you're in control of your life.

0:07:27.057,0:07:31.436
People who feel like they're[br]more in control of their life

0:07:31.437,0:07:33.477
have better mental health.

0:07:33.869,0:07:36.868
If you feel like[br]you're lacking in control in life,

0:07:36.869,0:07:38.498
then research shows

0:07:38.499,0:07:42.669
that you should engage in experiences[br]that give you greater control.

0:07:43.505,0:07:45.295
I'll show you what I mean:

0:07:46.048,0:07:50.207
do you sometimes find that you put off[br]starting something

0:07:50.208,0:07:52.908
because you just don't feel ready enough?

0:07:53.733,0:07:55.842
Do you find it hard to make decisions

0:07:55.843,0:08:01.693
like what to wear, what to eat[br]who to date, which job to take up?

0:08:02.819,0:08:05.818
Do you tend to waste a lot of time

0:08:05.819,0:08:09.819
deciding what you might do[br]while nothing gets done?

0:08:11.973,0:08:16.763
A way to overcome indecision[br]and this lack of control in life,

0:08:16.979,0:08:19.139
is to do it badly.

0:08:20.630,0:08:24.459
There's a quote by writer[br]and poet GK Chesterton

0:08:24.460,0:08:30.760
that says, "Anything worth doing[br]is worth doing badly the first time."

0:08:32.003,0:08:34.361
The reason why this works so well

0:08:34.363,0:08:39.792
is that it speeds up your decision-making[br]and catapults you straight into action,

0:08:39.793,0:08:42.472
otherwise, you can spend hours

0:08:42.472,0:08:45.932
deciding how you should go[br]about doing something

0:08:45.933,0:08:47.693
or what you should do.

0:08:48.091,0:08:53.221
This can be paralyzing and can make[br]you afraid to even begin.

0:08:54.492,0:08:59.331
All too often, we aim for perfection,[br]but never end up doing anything

0:08:59.332,0:09:01.871
because the standards[br]that we set for ourselves

0:09:01.872,0:09:05.051
are too high, they're intimidating,

0:09:05.052,0:09:09.051
which stresses us out[br]so we delay starting something,

0:09:09.052,0:09:13.052
or we might even abandon[br]the whole thing altogether.

0:09:14.716,0:09:17.786
Do it badly frees you up to take action.

0:09:18.420,0:09:20.259
I mean you know how it is:

0:09:20.260,0:09:24.979
so often, we want to do[br]something perfectly we can't start

0:09:24.980,0:09:28.980
until it's the perfect time,[br]until we've got all the skills,

0:09:29.768,0:09:33.768
but this can be daunting and stressful

0:09:34.027,0:09:37.416
so why not just jump into it[br]just do it however,

0:09:37.417,0:09:39.907
without worrying if it's good or bad?

0:09:40.392,0:09:43.961
This will make it that much easier[br]to start something

0:09:43.962,0:09:47.072
and as you're doing it badly to finish it,

0:09:47.440,0:09:48.669
and when you look back,

0:09:48.670,0:09:53.810
you'll realize, more often than not,[br]that actually it's not that bad.

0:09:56.007,0:09:58.196
A close friend of mine who has anxiety

0:09:58.197,0:10:01.937
started using this motto,[br]and this is what she said,

0:10:03.142,0:10:07.511
"When I started using this motto,[br]my life transformed.

0:10:07.512,0:10:12.732
I found I could complete tasks[br]in much shorter time periods than before.

0:10:13.887,0:10:20.297
Do it badly gave me wings to take risks,[br]to try something differently,

0:10:20.818,0:10:25.598
and to have way more fun[br]during the whole process.

0:10:26.562,0:10:32.472
It took the anxiety out of everything[br]and replaced it with excitement."

0:10:34.113,0:10:41.063
So do it badly, and you can improve[br]as you go along.

0:10:42.589,0:10:46.119
I'd like to ask you to think about this:

0:10:46.333,0:10:53.333
if you start using this motto today,[br]how would your life change?

0:10:57.743,0:11:01.743
The second coping strategy[br]is to forgive yourself,

0:11:02.216,0:11:05.116
and this is very powerful if you use it.

0:11:06.381,0:11:09.620
People with anxiety think a lot about

0:11:09.621,0:11:15.941
what they're doing wrong, their worries,[br]and how bad they're feeling.

0:11:16.815,0:11:22.285
Imagine if you had a friend[br]who constantly pointed out

0:11:22.453,0:11:25.242
everything you're doing wrong,

0:11:25.243,0:11:28.722
and everything[br]that was wrong with your life.

0:11:28.723,0:11:30.092
You would probably want

0:11:30.093,0:11:33.243
to get rid of this person[br]right away, wouldn't you?

0:11:34.639,0:11:40.219
Well, people with anxiety[br]do this to themselves all day long.

0:11:40.505,0:11:42.595
They're not kind to themselves.

0:11:42.939,0:11:46.939
So maybe it's time to start[br]being kinder with ourselves,

0:11:47.473,0:11:50.313
time to start supporting ourselves,

0:11:50.834,0:11:54.283
and a way to do this[br]is to forgive yourself

0:11:54.284,0:11:55.733
for any mistakes you think

0:11:55.734,0:11:58.414
you might have made[br]just a few moments ago

0:11:58.766,0:12:00.876
to mistakes made in the past.

0:12:02.221,0:12:05.180
If you had a panic attack[br]and are embarrassed about it,

0:12:05.181,0:12:06.741
forgive yourself;

0:12:07.231,0:12:10.171
if you wanted to talk to someone,

0:12:10.509,0:12:12.648
but couldn't muster up[br]the courage to do so,

0:12:12.649,0:12:14.559
don't worry about it, let it go;

0:12:14.947,0:12:17.946
forgive yourself[br]for anything and everything

0:12:17.947,0:12:22.467
and this will give you[br]greater compassion towards yourself.

0:12:23.547,0:12:26.667
You can't begin to heal until you do this.

0:12:28.094,0:12:31.044
And last but not least,

0:12:32.081,0:12:34.920
having a purpose and meaning in life

0:12:34.921,0:12:37.871
is a very important coping mechanism.

0:12:39.238,0:12:43.328
Whatever we do in life,[br]whatever work we produce,

0:12:43.915,0:12:46.034
however much money we make,

0:12:46.035,0:12:51.185
we cannot be fully happy until we know[br]that someone else needs us,

0:12:51.799,0:12:55.428
that someone else depends on[br]our accomplishments,

0:12:55.429,0:12:58.089
or on the love that we have to share.

0:12:59.744,0:13:00.973
It's not that we need

0:13:00.974,0:13:04.553
other people's good words[br]to keep going in life,

0:13:04.554,0:13:08.093
but if we don't do something[br]with someone else in mind,

0:13:08.094,0:13:11.804
then we're at much higher risk[br]for poor mental health.

0:13:13.642,0:13:17.282
The famous neurologist[br]Dr. Victor Frankel said,

0:13:17.771,0:13:21.380
"For people who think[br]there's nothing to live for

0:13:21.381,0:13:24.551
and nothing more to expect from life,

0:13:24.742,0:13:27.651
the question is getting[br]these people to realize

0:13:27.652,0:13:32.082
that life is still expecting[br]something from them."

0:13:35.601,0:13:40.611
Doing something with someone else in mind[br]can carry you through the toughest times.

0:13:41.493,0:13:44.192
You'll know the why for your existence

0:13:44.193,0:13:50.133
and will be able to bear[br]almost any how; almost any how.

0:13:52.771,0:13:55.541
So the question is

0:13:56.324,0:14:00.154
do you do at least one thing[br]with someone else in mind?

0:14:01.127,0:14:02.867
This could be volunteering,

0:14:03.682,0:14:08.941
or it could be sharing this knowledge[br]that you gained today with other people,

0:14:08.942,0:14:11.372
especially those who need it most,

0:14:11.511,0:14:15.230
and these are often the people[br]who don't have money for therapy,

0:14:15.231,0:14:16.730
and they're usually the ones

0:14:16.731,0:14:19.821
with the highest rates[br]of anxiety disorders.

0:14:20.232,0:14:22.621
Give it to them, share with others,

0:14:22.622,0:14:26.352
because it can really improve[br]your mental health.

0:14:30.317,0:14:32.857
So I would like to conclude with this:

0:14:35.224,0:14:39.423
another way you can do something[br]with someone else in mind

0:14:39.424,0:14:44.244
is finishing work that might benefit[br]future generations.

0:14:45.614,0:14:50.513
Even if these people will never realize[br]what you've done for them,

0:14:50.514,0:14:51.793
it doesn't matter,

0:14:51.794,0:14:57.113
because you will know,[br]and this will make you realize

0:14:57.114,0:15:01.904
the uniqueness[br]and importance of your life.

0:15:02.737,0:15:04.016
Thank you.

0:15:04.017,0:15:05.347
(Applause)