1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,023 (bell) 2 00:00:04,496 --> 00:00:08,445 [How can you truly open yourself towards others? 3 00:00:08,728 --> 00:00:12,415 (Bell) 4 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:31,183 Dear Thay, dear Sangha, 5 00:00:32,172 --> 00:00:35,874 how can you truly be open with someone? 6 00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:42,850 There is fear to be rejected, to be misunderstood, 7 00:00:44,982 --> 00:00:48,352 (Inaudible) 8 00:00:52,854 --> 00:00:56,384 How can you truly be open yourself towards others? 9 00:01:13,159 --> 00:01:15,826 Misunderstanding, wrong perceptions 10 00:01:17,358 --> 00:01:19,441 are part of life, 11 00:01:20,317 --> 00:01:22,349 like the mud. 12 00:01:24,420 --> 00:01:28,871 Misunderstanding, wrong perceptions 13 00:01:29,486 --> 00:01:32,926 are the foundations of war and conflicts, 14 00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:34,890 death, suffering. 15 00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,816 That is the mud. 16 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,644 And, the practice helps us to dissipate 17 00:01:48,512 --> 00:01:51,892 misunderstanding, remove wrong perceptions, 18 00:01:55,844 --> 00:01:58,808 restore communication, 19 00:01:59,528 --> 00:02:02,493 and bring about reconciliation, 20 00:02:04,213 --> 00:02:07,709 transforming the mud into a lotus flower. 21 00:02:07,954 --> 00:02:10,335 This is possible, 22 00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:16,777 And, the teaching of the Buddha can help us do this 23 00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:21,181 as a person, as a group of people. 24 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:26,029 And when you can do it as a group of people, 25 00:02:27,629 --> 00:02:32,878 you can change the situation of society. 26 00:02:36,225 --> 00:02:39,974 And that is why to practice as an individual 27 00:02:40,385 --> 00:02:44,693 is not enough. You have to practice as a group, as a sangha. 28 00:02:50,409 --> 00:02:54,663 There are those of us who are so afraid 29 00:02:57,911 --> 00:02:59,632 to love. 30 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,394 We do not dare to open our heart. 31 00:03:05,408 --> 00:03:08,625 We are afraid, because we have suffered. 32 00:03:12,079 --> 00:03:15,587 And, we think that to love is to suffer. 33 00:03:26,643 --> 00:03:27,855 It is regrettable, 34 00:03:29,215 --> 00:03:33,072 because true love can bring a lot of healing and joy. 35 00:03:42,476 --> 00:03:45,458 There is a poet who wrote like this... 36 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,029 "Spring has come, 37 00:03:49,294 --> 00:03:51,894 every flower is opening 38 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:57,302 opening out, but why does my heart refuse to open? 39 00:04:00,255 --> 00:04:02,932 Because there is fear, 40 00:04:03,772 --> 00:04:07,332 the fear to suffer again, 41 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:11,631 because we have not learned the art of loving. 42 00:04:12,243 --> 00:04:15,290 Of course, the other person is unskillful 43 00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:18,473 but we are also unskillful. 44 00:04:18,753 --> 00:04:20,759 We don't know how to love, yet. 45 00:04:21,724 --> 00:04:25,778 We allow misunderstanding, wrong perception to take over. 46 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,609 And, we make us suffer, and 47 00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:31,272 we make each other suffer. 48 00:04:31,682 --> 00:04:34,432 So, the teaching of the Buddha on love, 49 00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:36,418 we should learn. 50 00:04:45,924 --> 00:04:48,839 The first element of true love is Maitri, 51 00:04:49,361 --> 00:04:51,021 loving kindness. 52 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:57,499 And, true love should be able to bring happiness. 53 00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:03,275 Loving kindness is the energy that can bring happiness 54 00:05:03,785 --> 00:05:07,169 to us and to the other person. 55 00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:11,389 A love that cannot bring happiness, is not love. 56 00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:15,625 It is something else - 57 00:05:19,165 --> 00:05:24,002 passion, craving, sensual pleasure, 58 00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,512 the desire to possess. 59 00:05:27,903 --> 00:05:29,702 It is not love. 60 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:36,402 So, loving kindness is a kind of energy that we have to cultivate, 61 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:42,751 If it is true love, then it should bring well being, 62 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:46,952 happiness to us, and to the other person. 63 00:05:48,292 --> 00:05:50,926 And, how to cultivate 64 00:05:52,084 --> 00:05:54,144 loving kindness? 65 00:05:54,783 --> 00:05:58,999 To look, to have the time to look and understand. 66 00:05:59,749 --> 00:06:01,765 Understanding the suffering, 67 00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:08,350 the difficulties, and the need of the other person 68 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,052 the suffering and the difficulties, and our own need. 69 00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:21,020 We need the time to look into ourselves. 70 00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:25,046 We need to understand our suffering, our difficulties, 71 00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:28,470 and the deep aspiration in us. 72 00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:35,385 And, we should be able to accept us as we are. 73 00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:41,035 So, understanding is the foundation of love, 74 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,149 of loving kindness. 75 00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:48,499 We should ask: "Do I understand myself?" 76 00:06:49,189 --> 00:06:52,124 "Do I understand my suffering, my difficulties? 77 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:59,252 If you understand your own suffering, your difficulties, 78 00:06:59,772 --> 00:07:01,899 you'll feel much better. 79 00:07:03,359 --> 00:07:04,850 You accept yourself. 80 00:07:06,110 --> 00:07:08,519 And, then, when you look at the other person 81 00:07:09,399 --> 00:07:14,163 you can understand his or her suffering much more easily 82 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:19,115 So, the first step is to understand "self" 83 00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:22,634 and to accept "self". 84 00:07:23,174 --> 00:07:26,164 And, the second step is to understand the other 85 00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:28,632 and accept the other. 86 00:07:30,899 --> 00:07:32,997 Without that kind of understanding 87 00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:37,096 and acceptance, happiness is not possible. 88 00:07:37,816 --> 00:07:40,365 And, true love is to be cultivated. 89 00:07:43,265 --> 00:07:46,445 The second element of true love is compassion. 90 00:07:49,145 --> 00:07:52,183 Compassion is the energy that can heal. 91 00:07:54,342 --> 00:07:58,328 When you have compassion in your heart you suffer much less. 92 00:07:58,688 --> 00:08:01,535 And, you open your heart so easily. 93 00:08:03,945 --> 00:08:06,883 Look at the other person deeply, 94 00:08:07,438 --> 00:08:10,420 and you see the suffering in him or in her. 95 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,742 That person is a victim of her own suffering, 96 00:08:14,522 --> 00:08:16,312 his own suffering. 97 00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:20,045 And, he does not know how to handle that suffering in him. 98 00:08:20,609 --> 00:08:24,145 He continues to suffer deeply, and he makes you suffer also 99 00:08:24,725 --> 00:08:27,475 not because he wants to. 100 00:08:28,835 --> 00:08:32,042 So, understanding the suffering in that person, 101 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:36,175 you are not angry at him or her any more. 102 00:08:37,805 --> 00:08:41,810 And, you want to do something, to say something 103 00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:44,239 to help that person suffer less. 104 00:08:44,809 --> 00:08:47,775 It means you have compassion in your heart. 105 00:08:47,975 --> 00:08:50,851 And, if when you want to do something, or to say something 106 00:08:51,189 --> 00:08:53,089 to help him or her suffer less, 107 00:08:53,479 --> 00:08:55,869 it means that compassion IS in your heart. 108 00:08:56,239 --> 00:08:58,171 And, as compassion is in your heart, 109 00:08:58,521 --> 00:09:01,023 you don't suffer anymore, 110 00:09:01,303 --> 00:09:04,949 because you have opened your heart to yourself 111 00:09:05,319 --> 00:09:08,781 and now, you can open your heart to him or to her. 112 00:09:09,671 --> 00:09:15,722 And, that is the second energy of true love: compassion, karuna. 113 00:09:17,285 --> 00:09:20,628 And, when you have a lot of karuna its called mahakaruna, 114 00:09:21,098 --> 00:09:23,319 Great Compassion. 115 00:09:24,109 --> 00:09:26,103 You are a Bodhisattva, 116 00:09:26,593 --> 00:09:32,088 you are a buddha, because the compassion in you is so 117 00:09:33,633 --> 00:09:34,903 so large. 118 00:09:35,579 --> 00:09:38,149 Your heart includes not only him or her, 119 00:09:38,539 --> 00:09:41,035 but you include us all. 120 00:09:41,575 --> 00:09:43,629 Mahakaruna. 121 00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:52,013 And, mahakaruna, the energy of compassion, is to be cultivated. 122 00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:55,511 And, without getting in touch with the suffering, 123 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,680 without understanding suffering, 124 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:03,682 you cannot generate the energy of karuna, compassion. 125 00:10:07,459 --> 00:10:10,329 When compassion is born, we begin to heal... 126 00:10:11,009 --> 00:10:15,265 heal you, and heal the world. 127 00:10:15,765 --> 00:10:19,100 And, with the practice of meditation on love 128 00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:22,840 metta, maitri meditation, 129 00:10:25,570 --> 00:10:27,660 karuna meditation, 130 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,310 you suffer less. 131 00:10:30,590 --> 00:10:34,139 You begin to taste the nectar of love, 132 00:10:34,359 --> 00:10:38,554 and you open your heart so easily to the world! 133 00:10:42,335 --> 00:10:46,489 The third element of true love is joy. 134 00:10:47,049 --> 00:10:50,483 If your love does not bring joy to you 135 00:10:51,006 --> 00:10:52,950 and makes the other person cry 136 00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,843 all day long, it's not true love. 137 00:10:56,293 --> 00:11:00,025 So, the mark of true love is joy. 138 00:11:00,325 --> 00:11:03,691 And, joy is healing. 139 00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:06,452 And, the fourth element of true love 140 00:11:07,092 --> 00:11:09,469 is inclusiveness, 141 00:11:10,149 --> 00:11:12,389 openness. 142 00:11:14,209 --> 00:11:17,698 Inclusiveness means that you open your heart 143 00:11:18,342 --> 00:11:22,849 and allow that person to be inside of your heart. 144 00:11:25,199 --> 00:11:28,360 And, without opening your heart, how can you include her, 145 00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:32,119 include him in your heart? 146 00:11:34,239 --> 00:11:38,690 And, as you continue, your heart grows bigger and bigger all the time. 147 00:11:39,225 --> 00:11:42,628 And, very soon, you include us, 148 00:11:43,308 --> 00:11:47,120 because you don't discriminate against us anymore. 149 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:53,080 Your heart is so large that you include us all. 150 00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,195 Include all of us in your heart. 151 00:11:56,455 --> 00:11:59,240 That is the love of a buddha 152 00:12:00,132 --> 00:12:02,965 which does not exclude anyone. 153 00:12:03,602 --> 00:12:08,592 Not only humans, but also animals, plants and minerals. 154 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,828 All are embraced in that love. 155 00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:15,972 That is equanimity. That is non-discrimination. 156 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:21,170 And, the Buddha's teaching on love is very specific, very clear, 157 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,003 concrete. 158 00:12:23,713 --> 00:12:26,731 And, if we practice, 159 00:12:27,615 --> 00:12:29,772 we cultivate these four elements, 160 00:12:30,256 --> 00:12:33,136 happiness begins to be with us right away. 161 00:12:33,526 --> 00:12:36,686 We don't need many months or years. 162 00:12:37,086 --> 00:12:45,035 The moment when we begin to practice maitri, karuna, mudita and upeksha 163 00:12:45,405 --> 00:12:49,662 happiness begins in our heart. 164 00:12:50,242 --> 00:12:52,576 We open our heart to ourselves, 165 00:12:53,046 --> 00:12:55,590 to him or to her, right away. 166 00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:00,730 (bell) 167 00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:08,905 (Bell)