[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.68,0:00:14.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Three years ago, I was\Npresenting at a conference,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.08,0:00:18.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the keynote speaker\Nwas speaking two hours before me,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.38,0:00:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I had plenty of time to kill.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.54,0:00:23.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At this particular keynote,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.68,0:00:28.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't want to go in the auditorium\Nto listen to the talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.16,0:00:32.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't want to go because\Nthe topic was about something
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.76,0:00:35.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't think I could relate to.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.98,0:00:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was about the speaker's\Nexperiences as a Jewish gay man.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.44,0:00:44.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.03,0:00:46.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I knew I couldn't learn\Nanything from this man.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.95,0:00:48.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.40,0:00:52.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,After all, I'm not gay,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.24,0:00:55.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm not Jewish, and I'm not a man.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.38,0:01:00.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what could I possibly learn from him?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.56,0:01:03.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I had nothing else to do\Nbefore my presentation,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.86,0:01:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I decided I would sit in the auditorium\Nand just play on my phone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.30,0:01:14.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once the speaker started\Nsharing his message,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.57,0:01:17.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was instantly taken aback
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.46,0:01:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I even forgot I was there\Nto play on my phone.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.42,0:01:27.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,First, I was shocked by how much\Nthis man had gone through
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.85,0:01:30.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just to be accepted by society.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.66,0:01:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I realized that even though\Nhis experiences were different
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.92,0:01:41.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from my own journey,\Nwe were not all that different.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.48,0:01:45.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That day, here is what I learned:
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.32,0:01:48.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that whether you're gay or straight,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.56,0:01:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,black or white,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.76,0:01:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jewish, Christian, or Muslim,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.70,0:01:58.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Democrat or Republican,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.02,0:02:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,human beings at their very core\Nare yearning for the same thing:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.06,0:02:06.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be accepted for who we are.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.26,0:02:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In my early days of coming to America,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.29,0:02:15.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I struggled with\Nsticking out as different.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.91,0:02:19.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whenever people asked me,\N"What's your name, hon?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.39,0:02:22.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would say, "My name is Seconde,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.59,0:02:26.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they would say,\N"Oh, you have a beautiful accent,"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.81,0:02:30.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I would reply, "Thank you."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.15,0:02:35.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I was aware\Nthat my accent had an accent.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.89,0:02:41.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I already knew the follow-up question,\Nwhich was: "Where are you from?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.66,0:02:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would pause, think,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.50,0:02:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then say, "I'm Canadian."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.52,0:02:52.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.40,0:03:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But they would ponder my answer,\Ngive me a once over, and ask again:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.08,0:03:06.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But where are you from originally?"\Nwith a fat emphasis on "originally."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.08,0:03:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It wasn't until, one day,\Nmy two teenage daughters sat me down,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.56,0:03:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,looked me in the eye,\Nand, with a teenage attitude, said,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.12,0:03:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Mom, we've noticed that each time\Npeople ask you where you come from,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.78,0:03:25.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"you lie."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.38,0:03:27.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.72,0:03:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, it was like\Na mini-intervention or something.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.16,0:03:33.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.70,0:03:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What my daughters didn't know\Nwas why I was trying to hide my origins.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.38,0:03:43.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that time, they were too young
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.27,0:03:49.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fully understand\Nthe many scars I carried within,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.27,0:03:53.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scars of a childhood\Nlived in a war-torn country.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.54,0:03:56.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was born and grew up in Burundi,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.71,0:04:01.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a small country located\Nin East Central Africa.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.09,0:04:05.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From the age of six,\NI had experienced civil wars,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.53,0:04:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,constant unrest and\Ndestruction in my country,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.33,0:04:13.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I felt ashamed of the war stigma
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.33,0:04:17.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the many invisible wounds\Nit inflicted on me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.54,0:04:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as a result of the ongoing civil wars,\NI became a war refugee,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.90,0:04:29.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I lived in Canada for 12 years\Nbefore moving of the United States.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.94,0:04:36.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Moving from Africa to Canada\Nand then to America
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.06,0:04:41.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,meant that I had to deal with\Na set of new expectations
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.18,0:04:45.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from different people\Nand different cultures.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.04,0:04:48.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,As a newcomer, there was always a place
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.44,0:04:52.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where my being different was pointed out,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.00,0:04:55.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and not always in a good way,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.00,0:04:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why I was trying\Nto hide my origins
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.60,0:05:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when people asked me where I came from.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.87,0:05:06.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wanted to belong\Nand to be fully accepted.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.76,0:05:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, I consider myself fortunate\Nto have experienced life
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.57,0:05:16.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in these different cultural settings.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.21,0:05:20.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They gave me a new sense of appreciation,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.47,0:05:25.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and new perspectives when it comes\Nto diversity and inclusion.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.30,0:05:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I'm not saying\Nthat it was all smooth sailing,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:31.60,0:05:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but what I learned came from\Nsome of the most difficult situations,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.18,0:05:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,especially as a mother -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.44,0:05:47.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,situations like when my children\Ncame home from school crying
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.12,0:05:50.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they had been called names\Nby their classmates
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.79,0:05:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they had started school -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:55.10,0:05:58.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,names such as "chocolate milk"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.70,0:06:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or asked whether their mom\Ndrank too much black coffee
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.62,0:06:05.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when she was pregnant.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.56,0:06:10.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Granted, these words\Nhad a racial connotation,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.86,0:06:17.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but five-, six-, and seven-year-old\Nchildren are not racist.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.52,0:06:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those kids were only acting\Nout of what they didn't know,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.54,0:06:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what they have not been taught.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:25.72,0:06:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could have blamed their parents,\Ntheir teachers, or the principal,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.42,0:06:34.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to be honest with you, I did.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.18,0:06:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then after some time I realized\Nthat no amount of blaming
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.90,0:06:46.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could have restored\Nmy children's self-esteem
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.12,0:06:48.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or reduced my own pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.80,0:06:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When people think\N"different is bad for you,"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.26,0:06:56.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you buy into it, before you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.50,0:07:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you might start denying\Nyour own self-worth
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.88,0:07:04.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and self-identity, as I was doing
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.70,0:07:07.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,before my teenagers set me straight.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.94,0:07:13.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's when I decided that the only thing\NI could really control
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.60,0:07:16.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was to choose how to respond.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.76,0:07:20.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I could be bitter,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.64,0:07:22.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or I could be better.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.84,0:07:24.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was my choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.58,0:07:28.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So instead of fear, I started using
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.80,0:07:32.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,my differences and my adversities
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.44,0:07:35.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to fuel my compassion for others.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:35.75,0:07:40.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I chose to advocate for\Nand educate about diversity,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.28,0:07:45.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to bridge the cultural gap\Nbetween our communities.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.36,0:07:48.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That became my passion and my mission.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.04,0:07:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Today, I see how the fear\Nof our differences
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.13,0:07:59.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is affecting the youth in our schools\Nand communities across America,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.89,0:08:03.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the growing disconnect\Nyoung people feel
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.68,0:08:07.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when it comes to their social identities.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.02,0:08:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I speak to students in high schools
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.56,0:08:14.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or colleges and universities,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.34,0:08:16.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the number one hurdle they share
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.82,0:08:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is not about academic achievement.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.64,0:08:25.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, it is about the fear\Nof being different,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.26,0:08:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the threats they sometimes face
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.02,0:08:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on their campuses or in their communities,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.84,0:08:35.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mostly because of their race, gender,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.36,0:08:38.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sexual identity, and religion.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.30,0:08:45.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some of you have walked into a situation\Nwhere you were put in a box,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:45.68,0:08:49.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,maybe because of\Nhow you look, who you love,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.78,0:08:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what religion you practice,\Nor how your name sounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.90,0:09:00.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At times, we've all been\Na victim and a perpetrator
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.20,0:09:03.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of stereotypes and biases.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.74,0:09:09.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when we unleash our capacity\Nfor human connection and human empathy,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.80,0:09:14.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we give others the gift\Nof living in their own truth.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.07,0:09:19.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I now look at racism, sexism,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.81,0:09:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or any other type of discrimination\Nthat plagues our society today
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.44,0:09:28.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with these two perspectives:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.14,0:09:34.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, it's what it does to the person\Nit's committed against,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.76,0:09:39.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and two, it is what it does\Nto the perpetrator
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.08,0:09:41.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of that discrimination.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.12,0:09:46.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I truly believe the victim\Nas well as the perpetrator
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.28,0:09:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are both wounded, and they need healing.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.18,0:09:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Deep in my heart,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:53.72,0:09:57.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know we are more alike\Nthan different,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.92,0:10:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I have hope that we can build\Nan even more beautiful world
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.62,0:10:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we choose to use\Nour differences as a catalyst
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.84,0:10:10.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to uplift one another.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:10.36,0:10:15.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we choose to see others\Nfor who they are and not what they are,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.40,0:10:18.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we might even change the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.82,0:10:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sometimes people ask me, "Seconde,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.92,0:10:26.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"so what we can do\Nso that our next generation
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.68,0:10:30.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"can live in a world\Nwhere differences are celebrated?"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.56,0:10:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let me just share three things today\Nyou can start to do today.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.22,0:10:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Number one, start where you are,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.86,0:10:47.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and where you have most\Npersonal power to impact change.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.04,0:10:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It can be in your home, your school,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.02,0:10:53.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your community, or your workplace.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.02,0:10:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And number two, be brave.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.74,0:10:58.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What do I mean by that?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.76,0:11:02.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be brave by having conversations
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.70,0:11:05.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are sometimes uncomfortable.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.46,0:11:09.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Race issues, for instance, in America,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.92,0:11:13.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is an uncomfortable topic for many people.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.32,0:11:19.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's not going away\Njust by ignoring it.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.28,0:11:23.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So let's have a conversation about race,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.04,0:11:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and seek understanding\Nfrom one another
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.74,0:11:28.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and heal each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.66,0:11:33.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And number three, be flexible.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.00,0:11:37.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even when something you don't understand\Nor you don't agree with,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.78,0:11:42.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have an open mind\Nand learn what you don't know.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.18,0:11:47.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the end, it really comes down to
Dialogue: 0,0:11:47.44,0:11:51.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,giving a kind smile to a stranger,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.70,0:11:54.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a handshake or headshake
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.92,0:11:57.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to acknowledge somebody and say,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.82,0:11:59.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I see you."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.36,0:12:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I love you."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.66,0:12:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You matter."
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.34,0:12:06.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.88,0:12:09.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)