[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.15,0:00:03.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Pat Mitchell: Your first time back on the TEDWomen stage.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.72,0:00:06.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sheryl Sandberg: First time back. Nice to see everyone. It's always so nice to look out
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.42,0:00:07.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and see so many women.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.72,0:00:08.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.38,0:00:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so not my regular experience, as I know anyone else's
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.90,0:00:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: So when we first started talking about maybe the the subject wouldn't be social media,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.82,0:00:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which we assumed it would be, but that you had very much on your mind
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.56,0:00:30.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the missing leadership positions, particularly in the sector of technology and social media.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.46,0:00:36.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But how did that evolve for you as a thought, and end up being the TED Talk that you gave?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.53,0:00:39.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: So I was really scared to get on this stage and talk about women,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.98,0:00:42.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I grew up in the business world, as I think so many of us do,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.94,0:00:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you never talk about being a woman, because someone might notice that you're a woman, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.58,0:00:54.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They might notice. Or worse, if you say "woman", people on the other end of the table
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.20,0:00:57.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,think you're asking for special treatment, or complaining,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.28,0:01:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or worse, about to sue them. And so I went through -- (laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.37,0:01:04.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right? I went through my entire business career, and never spoke about being a woman,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.86,0:01:09.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,never spoke about it publicly. But I also had noticed that it wasn't working.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.40,0:01:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I came out of college over 20 years ago, and I thought that you know, look,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.79,0:01:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of my peers were men and women, all the people above me were all men, but that would change,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.24,0:01:22.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because your generation had done such an amazing job fighting for equality,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.63,0:01:26.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,equality was now ours for the taking. And it wasn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.41,0:01:29.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because year after year, I was one of fewer and fewer, and now,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.73,0:01:33.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,often the only woman in a room. And I talked to a bunch of people about,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.82,0:01:37.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,should I give a speech at TEDWomen about women, and they said, oh no, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.24,0:01:42.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It will end your business career. You cannot be a serious business executive
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.23,0:01:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and speak about being a woman. You'll never be taken seriously again.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.43,0:01:49.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But fortunately, there were the few, the proud -- like you -- who told me I should give this speech,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.69,0:01:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I asked myself the question Mark Zuckerberg might --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.51,0:01:55.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the founder of Facebook and, you know, my boss --
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.15,0:01:58.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asked all of us, which is what would I do if I wasn't afraid?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.77,0:02:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the answer to what would I do if I wasn't afraid is I would get on the TED stage,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.92,0:02:09.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and talk about women, and leadership. And I did, and survived. (applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.93,0:02:14.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: I would say, not only survived. I'm thinking of that moment, Sheryl,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.86,0:02:19.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you and I were standing backstage together, and you turned to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.50,0:02:20.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you told me a story.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.82,0:02:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said -- very last minute -- you know, you really should share that story.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.70,0:02:25.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Oh, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.59,0:02:26.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: What was that story?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.58,0:02:29.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Well, it's an important part of the journey. So I had -- TEDWomen --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.82,0:02:33.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the original one was in DC -- so I live here, so I had gotten on a plane the day before
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.54,0:02:38.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my daughter was three, she was clinging to my leg, "Mommy, don't go."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.25,0:02:42.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And Pat's a friend, and so, not related to the speech I was planning on giving,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.18,0:02:45.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was chock full of facts and figures, and nothing personal,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.48,0:02:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told Pat the story. I said, well, I'm having a hard day. Yesterday my daughter was clinging to my leg,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.17,0:02:53.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and "don't go." And you looked at me and said,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.22,0:02:57.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to tell that story. I said, on the TED stage? Are you kidding?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.39,0:03:00.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm going to get on a stage and admit my daughter was clinging to my leg?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.24,0:03:03.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you said yes, because if you want to talk about getting more women into leadership roles,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.95,0:03:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to be honest about how hard it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.21,0:03:11.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I did. And I think that's a really important part of the journey.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.74,0:03:16.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The same thing happened when I wrote my book. I started writing the book. I wrote a first chapter,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.88,0:03:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought it was fabulous. It was chock-full of data and figures,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.44,0:03:27.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had three pages on matrilineal Masai tribes, and what the patterns are of their --
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.87,0:03:30.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,their sociological patterns -- my husband read it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.55,0:03:33.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he was like, this is like eating your Wheaties.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.23,0:03:40.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No one -- and I apologize to Wheaties if there's someone -- no one, no one will read this book.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.71,0:03:45.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I realized through the process that I had to be more honest and more open,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.88,0:03:50.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I had to tell my stories. My stories of still not feeling as self-confident as I should,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.60,0:03:56.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in many situations. My first and failed marriage. Crying at work.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.25,0:04:00.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Felling like I didn't belong there, feeling guilty to this day.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.47,0:04:04.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And part of my journey, starting on this stage, going to Lean In, going to the foundation,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.96,0:04:08.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is all about being more open and honest about those challenges,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.79,0:04:10.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that other women can be more open, honest,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.61,0:04:14.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all of us can work together towards real equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.24,0:04:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: I think that one of the most striking parts about the book,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.77,0:04:23.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in my opinion, one of the reasons it's hit such a nerve and is resonating around the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.63,0:04:29.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that you are personal in the book, and that you do make it clear that,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.25,0:04:33.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,while you've observed some things that are very important for other women to know,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.46,0:04:38.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that you've had the same challenges that many others of us have,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.26,0:04:44.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you faced the hurdles and the barriers and possibly the people who don't believe the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.75,0:04:49.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So talk about that process: deciding you go public with the private part,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.52,0:04:53.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then you would also put yourself in the position of something of an expert
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.53,0:04:56.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on how to resolve those challenges.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.30,0:04:56.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.30,0:04:59.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: After I did the TED Talk, what happened was --
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.10,0:05:02.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, I never really expected to write a book, I'm not an author, I'm not a writer,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:02.54,0:05:07.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was viewed a lot, and it really started impacting people's lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.31,0:05:10.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got this great --- one of the first letters I got was from a woman
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.77,0:05:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who said that she was offered a really big promotion at work, and she turned it down,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.97,0:05:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she told her best friend she turned it down, and her best friend said
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.33,0:05:19.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you really need to watch this TED Talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.79,0:05:24.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so she watched this TED Talk, and she went back the next day, she took the job,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:24.52,0:05:28.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she went home, and she handed her husband the grocery list. (laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.44,0:05:30.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she said, I can do this.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.83,0:05:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what really mattered to me -- it wasn't only women in the corporate world,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.17,0:05:36.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though I did hear from a lot of them, and it did impact a lot of them,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.95,0:05:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was also people of all different circumstancecs.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.20,0:05:44.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was a doctor I met who was an attending physician at Johns Hopkins,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.53,0:05:48.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he said that until he saw my TED Talk, it never really occurred to him
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.16,0:05:50.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that even though half the students in his med school classes were women,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.70,0:05:53.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they weren't speaking as much as the men as he did his rounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.26,0:05:59.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he started paying attention, and as he waited for raised hands, he realized the men's hands were up.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.56,0:06:02.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he started encouraging the women to raise their hands more,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.21,0:06:03.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it still didn't work.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.55,0:06:06.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he told everyone, no more hand raising, I'm cold-calling.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.69,0:06:10.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So he could call evenly on men and women. And what he proved to himself was that
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.40,0:06:13.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the women knew the answers just as well or better,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.37,0:06:16.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was able to go back to them and tell them that. And then, you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.56,0:06:21.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,there was the woman, stay-at-home mom, lives in a really difficult neighborhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.20,0:06:24.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with not a great school, she said that TED Talk -- she's never had a corporate job,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.68,0:06:30.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that TED Talk inspired her to go to her school and fight for a better teacher for her child.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.34,0:06:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I guess was part of finding my own voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.13,0:06:39.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I realize that other women and men could find their voice through it,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.37,0:06:41.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is why I went from the talk to the book.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.61,0:06:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: And in the book, you not only found your voice, which is clear and strong in the book,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.80,0:06:51.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you also share what you've learned --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.49,0:06:54.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the experiences of other people in the lessons.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.60,0:06:59.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's what I'm thinking about in terms of putting yourself in a --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.37,0:07:03.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you became a sort of expert in how you lean in.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:03.89,0:07:08.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what did that feel like, and become like in your life?\N
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.31,0:07:13.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To launch not just a book, not just a best-selling, best-viewed talk,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:13.99,0:07:19.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but a movement, where people began to literally describe their actions at work as
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.81,0:07:22.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm leaning in.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.76,0:07:29.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I mean, I'm grateful, I'm honored, I'm happy, and it's the very beginning.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:29.99,0:07:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I don't know if I'm an expert, or if anyone is an expert. I certainly have done a lot of research.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:34.50,0:07:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have read every study, I have pored over the materials,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.50,0:07:40.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the lessons are very clear. Because here's what we know:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.94,0:07:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what we know is that stereotypes are holding women back from leadership roles all over the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:46.50,0:07:48.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so striking. Lean In's very global, I've been all over the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.76,0:07:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talking about it, and -- cultures are so different.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.20,0:07:56.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even within our own country, to Japan, to Korea, to China, to Asia, Europe,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.40,0:07:59.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they' re so different. Except for one thing: gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.98,0:08:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,All over the world, no matter what our cultures are,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.42,0:08:06.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we think men snould be strong, assertive, aggressive, have voice,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.45,0:08:10.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we think women should speak when spoken to, help others.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.74,0:08:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we have, all over the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.70,0:08:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,women are called "bossy." There is a word for "bossy,"
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.50,0:08:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for little girls, in every language there's one.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.61,0:08:23.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a word that's pretty much not used for little boys,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.10,0:08:25.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because if a little boy leads, there's no negative word for it,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.89,0:08:30.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's expected. But if a little girl leads, she's bossy.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.85,0:08:33.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I know there aren't a lot of men here, but bear with me.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.66,0:08:35.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a man, you'll have to represent your gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.55,0:08:38.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Please raise your hand if you've been told you're too aggressive at work.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:41.17,0:08:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter) There's always a few, it runs about 5%. Okay, get ready, gentlemen.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.33,0:08:51.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you're a woman, please raise your hand if you've ever been told you're too aggressive at work.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.88,0:08:56.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter) That is what audiences have said in every country in the world,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:56.80,0:08:59.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's deeply supported by the data.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.76,0:09:04.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, do we think women are more aggressive than men? Of course not.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.15,0:09:06.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's just that we judge them through a different lens,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.57,0:09:11.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a lot of the character traits that you must exhibit to perform at work, to get results, to lead,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.30,0:09:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are ones that we think, in a man, he's a boss,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.70,0:09:16.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and in a woman, she's bossy.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.11,0:09:19.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the good news about this is that we can change this by acknowledging it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:19.78,0:09:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the happiest moments I had in this whole journey
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.48,0:09:27.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is, after the book came out, I stood on a stage with John Chambers, the CEO of Cisco.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.24,0:09:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He read the book. He stood on a stage with me, he invited me in front of his whole management team,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.29,0:09:34.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,men and women, and he said, I thought we were good at this. I thought I was good at this.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.42,0:09:39.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I read this book, and I realized that we -- my company --
Dialogue: 0,0:09:39.19,0:09:41.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we have called all of our senior women too aggressive,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.33,0:09:43.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm standing on this stage, and I'm sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.81,0:09:47.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I want you to know we're never going to do it again.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.46,0:09:47.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I: Wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.46,0:09:51.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: Can we send that to a lot of other people that we know? (applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.12,0:09:54.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: And so John is doing that because he believes it's good for his company,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.85,0:09:58.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and so this kind of acknowledgement of these biases can change it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.11,0:10:01.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so next time you all see someone call a little girl "bossy,"
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.14,0:10:04.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you walk right up to that person, big smile, and you say
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.13,0:10:09.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that little girl's not bossy. That little girl has executive leadership skills. (laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.10,0:10:13.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: I know that's what you're telling your daughter. \NSS: Absolutely.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.69,0:10:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: And you did focus on the book. And the reason, as you said, in writing it,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.85,0:10:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was to create a dialogue about this.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.02,0:10:22.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, let's just put it out there, face the fact that women are --
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.27,0:10:26.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a time when we have more open doors, and more opportunities,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:26.98,0:10:29.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,are still not getting to the leadership positions.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.25,0:10:31.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So in the months that have come since the book,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.63,0:10:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in which Lean In focused on that and said,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.13,0:10:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,here are some of the challenges that remain, and many of them we have to own within ourselves
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.61,0:10:41.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and look at ourselves. What has changed?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:41.24,0:10:43.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you seen changes?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.24,0:10:45.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Well, there's certainly more dialogue, which is great.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.71,0:10:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But what really matters to me, and I think all of us, is action.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.62,0:10:51.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So everywhere I go, CEOs, they're mostly men, say to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.99,0:10:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're costing me so much money.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.25,0:10:57.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because all the women want to be paid as much as the men.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.87,0:11:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And to them I say, I'm not sorry at all. (laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.86,0:11:05.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At all. I mean, the women should be paid as much as the men.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.65,0:11:08.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everywhere I go, women tell me they ask for raises.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.91,0:11:12.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everywhere I go, women say they're getting better relationships with their spouses,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.95,0:11:16.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asking for more help at home, asking for the promotions they should be getting at work,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.84,0:11:19.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and importantly, believing it themselves. Even little things.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.75,0:11:23.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One of the governors of one of the states told me that he didn't realize that more women were, in fact,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.84,0:11:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,literally sitting on the side of the room, which they are,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.28,0:11:30.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and now he made a rule that all the women on his staff need to sit at the table.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.76,0:11:33.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The foundation I started along with the book Lean In
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.67,0:11:37.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,helps women, or men, start circles -- small groups,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:37.14,0:11:39.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it can be 10, it can be however you want, which meet once a month.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.65,0:11:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I would have hoped that by now, we'd have about 500 circles. That would've been great.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.74,0:11:46.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know, 500 times roughly 10.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.56,0:11:50.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are over 12,000 circles in 50 countries in the world.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:50.11,0:11:51.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: Wow, that's amazing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.28,0:11:54.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: And these are people who are meeting every single month.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.50,0:11:56.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I met one of them, I was in Beijing.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.96,0:12:01.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A group of women, they're all about 29 or 30, they started the first Lean In circle in Beijing,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.32,0:12:05.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,several of them grew up in very poor, rural China.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:05.15,0:12:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These women are 29, they are told by their society that they are "left over,"
Dialogue: 0,0:12:11.42,0:12:13.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they are not yet married,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:13.41,0:12:16.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the process of coming together once a month at a meeting
Dialogue: 0,0:12:16.92,0:12:19.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is helping them define who they are for themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.34,0:12:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What they want in their careers. The kind of partners they want, if at all.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.16,0:12:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I looked at them, we went around and introduced ourselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.97,0:12:27.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they all said their names and where they're from,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.67,0:12:31.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, I'm Sheryl Sandberg, and this was my dream.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.15,0:12:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I kind of just started crying.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.27,0:12:34.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: Right.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:34.19,0:12:36.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Which, I admit, I do. Right? I've talked about it before.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.86,0:12:42.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But the fact that a woman so far away out in the world, who grew up in a rural village,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.15,0:12:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who's being told to marry someone she doesn't want to marry,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:45.82,0:12:49.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can now go meet once a month with a group of people and refuse that,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:49.38,0:12:52.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and find life on her own terms.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.29,0:12:54.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's the kind of change we have to hope for.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.30,0:12:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: Have you been surprised by the global nature of the message?\N
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.84,0:13:00.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because I think when the book first came out, many people thought,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:00.86,0:13:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, this is a really important handbook for young women on their way up.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.62,0:13:08.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They need to look at this, anticipate the barriers, and recognize them,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.96,0:13:11.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put them out in the open, have the dialogue about it,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.73,0:13:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that it's really for women who are that. Doing that. Pursuing the corporate world.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.81,0:13:20.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet the book is being read, as you say, in rural and developing countries.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:20.85,0:13:21.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.79,0:13:27.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: What part of that has surprised you, and perhaps led to a new perspective on your part?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.73,0:13:31.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: The book is about self-confidence, and about equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.52,0:13:35.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it turns out, everywhere in the world, women need more self-confidence,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.57,0:13:37.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the world tell us we're not equal to men.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:37.74,0:13:41.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everywhere in the world, we live in a world where the men get "and,"
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.20,0:13:42.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and women get "or."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.75,0:13:46.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've never met a man who's been asked how he does it all. (laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.11,0:13:49.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Again, I'm going to turn to the men in the audience:
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.40,0:13:52.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,please raise your hand if you've been asked, how do you do it all?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:52.13,0:13:53.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:53.90,0:13:55.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Men only.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.28,0:13:59.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Women, women. Please raise your hand if you've been asked how you do it all?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:59.41,0:14:06.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We assume men can do it all, slash -- have jobs and children.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:06.40,0:14:08.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We assume women can't, and that's ridiculous,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.34,0:14:12.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because the great majority of women everywhere in the world, including the United States,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.29,0:14:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,work full time and have children.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:14.14,0:14:19.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think people don't fully understand how broad the message is.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.33,0:14:23.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a circle that's been started for rescued sex workers in Miami.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:23.83,0:14:28.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're using Lean In to help people make the transition
Dialogue: 0,0:14:28.29,0:14:33.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,back to what would be a fair life, really rescuing them from their pimps, and using it.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.26,0:14:37.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There are dress-for-success groups in Texas which are using the book,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.53,0:14:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for women who have never been to college.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.28,0:14:43.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we know there are groups all the way to Ethiopia.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:43.15,0:14:48.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And so these messages of equality -- of how women are told they can't have what men can have --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.82,0:14:53.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how we assume that leadership is for men, how we assume that voice is for men,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.28,0:14:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,these affect all of us, and I think they are very universal.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:56.72,0:14:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And it's part of what TED Women does.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.28,0:15:02.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It unities all of us in a cause we have to believe in,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:02.18,0:15:06.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is more women, more voice, more equality.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:06.17,0:15:12.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: If you were invited now to make another TEDWomen talk,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.92,0:15:18.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what would you say that is a result of this experience, for you personally,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:18.23,0:15:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and what you've learned about women, and men,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.90,0:15:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as you've made this journey?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.72,0:15:27.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: I think I would say -- I tried to say this strongly,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.60,0:15:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I think I can say it more strongly --
Dialogue: 0,0:15:30.47,0:15:33.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I want to say that the status quo is not enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:33.38,0:15:36.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That it's not good enough, that it's not changing quickly enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:36.35,0:15:41.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since I gave my TED Talk and published my book, another year of data came out from the U.S. Census.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:41.54,0:15:43.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you know what we found?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.88,0:15:45.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No movement in the wage gap for women in the United States.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.89,0:15:48.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,77 cents to the dollar.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.62,0:15:50.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are a black woman, 64 cents.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.76,0:15:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you are a Latina, we're at 54 cents.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.79,0:15:55.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you know when the last time those numbers went up?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.48,0:15:57.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,2002.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.96,0:16:02.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are stagnating, we are stagnating in so many ways.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:02.75,0:16:05.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I think we are not really being honest about that,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:05.57,0:16:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for so many reasons. It's so hard to talk about gender.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:08.72,0:16:12.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We shy away from the word "feminist," a word I really think we need to embrace.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:12.51,0:16:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have to get rid of the word bossy and bring back --
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.92,0:16:19.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.12,0:16:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think I would say in a louder voice, we need to get rid of the word "bossy"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:23.28,0:16:25.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and bring back the word "feminist," because we need it.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:25.79,0:16:26.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.74,0:16:28.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(applause and cheers)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:28.33,0:16:31.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: And we all need to do a lot more leaning in.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.65,0:16:32.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: A lot more leaning in.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:32.71,0:16:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,PM: Thank you, Sheryl.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.65,0:16:35.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks for leaning in and saying yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:35.90,0:16:36.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,SS: Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.85,0:16:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(applause)