[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.22,0:00:06.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My journey away from violent extremism\Nbegan 22 years ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:06.21,0:00:08.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I denounced racism
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.18,0:00:10.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and left the American white\Nsupremacist skinhead movement
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.99,0:00:12.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had helped build.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.71,0:00:17.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers and applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.78,0:00:21.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was just 22 years old at the time,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.39,0:00:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I had already spent eight years,\Nfrom the time I was 14 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.47,0:00:27.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as one of the earliest\Nand youngest members
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.70,0:00:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and an eventual leader within\NAmerica's most violent hate movement.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.88,0:00:35.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I wasn't born into hate;
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.68,0:00:38.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in fact, it was quite the opposite.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.07,0:00:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a relatively normal childhood.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.77,0:00:45.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My parents are Italian immigrants
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.49,0:00:48.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who came to the United States\Nin the mid-1960s
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.61,0:00:51.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and settled on the South Side of Chicago,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.32,0:00:52.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where they eventually met,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.31,0:00:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and opened a small beauty shop.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.64,0:00:59.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right after I was born,\Nthings got a little bit more difficult.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.66,0:01:04.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They struggled to survive with raising\Na young family and a new business,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.37,0:01:06.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,often working seven days a week,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.26,0:01:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,14 hours a day,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.08,0:01:12.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,taking on second and third jobs\Njust to earn a meager living.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.21,0:01:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And quality time with my parents\Nwas pretty nonexistent.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.18,0:01:19.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even though I knew\Nthey loved me very much,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.22,0:01:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,growing up, I felt abandoned.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.30,0:01:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was lonely, and I started to withdraw,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.20,0:01:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I started to resent my parents\Nand become very angry.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.94,0:01:35.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as I was growing up,\Nthrough my teenage years,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.53,0:01:39.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to act out to try and get\Nattention from my parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.03,0:01:43.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one day, when I was 14,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.59,0:01:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was standing in an alley,\Nand I was smoking a joint,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.79,0:01:52.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a man who was twice my age,\Nwith a shaved head and tall black boots,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.47,0:01:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,came up to me,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.30,0:01:57.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he snatched the joint from my lips.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.89,0:02:02.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then he put his hand on my shoulder\Nand he looked me in the eyes,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.83,0:02:04.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.93,0:02:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's what the communists\Nand the Jews want you to do
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.98,0:02:09.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to keep you docile."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.33,0:02:12.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was 14 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.54,0:02:15.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd been trading baseball cards\Nand watching "Happy Days" --
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.43,0:02:17.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't really know what a Jew was.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.23,0:02:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.03,0:02:20.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's true.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.20,0:02:24.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the only communist that I knew\Nwas the bad Russian guy
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.20,0:02:26.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my favorite Rocky movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.09,0:02:28.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.75,0:02:30.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And since I'm here\Nbaring my soul with you,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.00,0:02:34.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can reveal that I did not even know\Nwhat the word "docile" meant.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.02,0:02:36.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.84,0:02:38.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dead serious.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.95,0:02:43.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it was as if this man in this alley\Nhad offered me a lifeline.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.44,0:02:47.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 14 years, I'd felt\Nmarginalized and bullied.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.25,0:02:49.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had low self-esteem.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.63,0:02:54.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And frankly, I didn't know\Nwho I was, where I belonged,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.45,0:02:56.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or what my purpose was.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.48,0:02:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was lost.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.43,0:03:02.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And overnight, because this man\Nhad pulled me in,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.55,0:03:07.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I had grabbed onto that lifeline\Nwith every fiber of my being,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.90,0:03:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had gone from "Joanie Loves Chachi"
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.26,0:03:14.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to full-blown Nazi.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.83,0:03:16.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Overnight.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.63,0:03:20.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to listen to the rhetoric
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.80,0:03:21.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and believe it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.52,0:03:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to watch very closely\Nas the leaders of this organization
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.90,0:03:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,would target vulnerable young people\Nwho felt marginalized
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.08,0:03:36.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then draw them in\Nwith promises of paradise
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.66,0:03:37.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that were broken.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.69,0:03:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I started to recruit myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.10,0:03:46.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started to do that by making\Nwhite-power music.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.30,0:03:53.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And soon, I became the leader\Nof that infamous organization
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.59,0:03:56.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was led by that man in that alley
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.24,0:03:57.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who recruited me that day,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.01,0:04:02.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was America's first neo-Nazi skinhead\Nand who had radicalized me.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.45,0:04:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the next eight years,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.76,0:04:08.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I believed the lies that I had been fed.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.29,0:04:12.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And though I saw\Nno evidence of it whatsoever,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.67,0:04:16.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't hesitate to blame\Nevery Jewish person in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.92,0:04:21.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for what I thought was a white,\NEuropean genocide
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.08,0:04:25.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,being promoted by them\Nthrough a multiculturalist agenda.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:26.55,0:04:28.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I blamed people of color
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.58,0:04:32.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for the crime and violence\Nand the drugs in the city,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.74,0:04:37.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely neglecting the fact\Nthat I was committing acts of violence
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.65,0:04:38.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a daily basis,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.56,0:04:41.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that in many cases,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.25,0:04:44.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it was white supremacists\Nwho were funneling drugs
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.25,0:04:45.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into the inner cities.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.97,0:04:49.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I blamed immigrants
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.29,0:04:52.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for taking jobs from white Americans,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.83,0:04:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,completely neglecting the fact that\Nmy parents were hardworking immigrants
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.82,0:04:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who struggled to survive,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.01,0:05:03.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,despite not getting help\Nfrom anybody else.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.85,0:05:07.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For the next eight years,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.34,0:05:10.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw friends die,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.10,0:05:15.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I saw others go to prison\Nand inflict untold pain
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.24,0:05:18.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on countless victims\Nand their families' lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:19.57,0:05:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I heard horrific stories\Nfrom young women in the movement,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.14,0:05:28.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who'd been brutally raped by the very men\Nthey were conditioned to trust,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.96,0:05:33.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I myself committed acts\Nof violence against people,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.14,0:05:35.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,solely for the color of their skin,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:35.69,0:05:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who they loved,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.05,0:05:39.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or the god that they prayed to.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:41.32,0:05:45.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I stockpiled weapons for what I thought\Nwas an upcoming race war.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.75,0:05:47.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went to six high schools;
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.19,0:05:48.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was kicked out of four of them,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:48.89,0:05:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of them, twice.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:51.64,0:05:56.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And 25 years ago, I wrote\Nand performed racist music
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.04,0:06:00.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that found its way\Nto the internet decades later
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.74,0:06:04.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and partially inspired\Na young white nationalist
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.05,0:06:08.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to walk into a sacred Charleston,\NSouth Carolina, church
Dialogue: 0,0:06:08.58,0:06:12.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and senselessly massacre\Nnine innocent people.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.28,0:06:17.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then my life changed.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.72,0:06:23.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At 19 years old, I met a girl\Nwho was not in the movement,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.85,0:06:26.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who didn't have a racist bone in her body,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.71,0:06:29.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I fell in love with her.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.28,0:06:32.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And at 19, we got married,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.92,0:06:34.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we had our first son.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.42,0:06:40.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when I held my son in my arms\Nin the delivery room that day,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.78,0:06:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not only did I reconnect\Nwith some of the innocence that I had lost
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.30,0:06:46.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at 14 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.72,0:06:49.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it also began to challenge
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.67,0:06:53.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the very important things that drew\Nme to the movement to begin with:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.91,0:06:56.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,identity, community and purpose --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.40,0:06:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,things that I had been\Nstruggling with as a young boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:59.94,0:07:05.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And now, I struggled with the concept\Nof who I was again.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.13,0:07:09.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was I this neo-Nazi hatemonger,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.67,0:07:13.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or was I a caring father and husband?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.93,0:07:18.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was my community the one\Nthat I had manufactured around me
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.61,0:07:20.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to boost my own ego,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.98,0:07:25.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I felt self-hatred for myself\Nand I wanted to project it onto others,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:26.60,0:07:30.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or was it the one\Nthat I had physically given life to?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.92,0:07:34.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Was my purpose to scorch the earth
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.13,0:07:39.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or was it to make it\Na better place for my family?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:40.90,0:07:45.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And suddenly, like a ton of bricks hit me,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.10,0:07:50.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I became very confused with\Nwho I'd been for the last eight years.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.03,0:07:55.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if only I'd been brave enough\Nto walk away at that moment,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.37,0:08:00.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to understand what the struggle was\Nthat was happening inside of me,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:01.72,0:08:04.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then maybe tragedy\Ncould have been averted.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.92,0:08:07.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I did compromise.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.86,0:08:11.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I took myself off the streets\Nfor the benefit of my family,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.23,0:08:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I was nervous that maybe\NI could go to jail or end up dead,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.23,0:08:17.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they would have to fend\Nfor themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.09,0:08:19.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I stepped back as a leader,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.69,0:08:22.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and instead I opened a record store
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.09,0:08:27.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I was going to sell\Nwhite-power music in, of course,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.27,0:08:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I was importing it in from Europe.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.41,0:08:34.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I knew that if I was just\Na racist store selling racist music
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.57,0:08:37.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the community would not\Nallow me to be there.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.62,0:08:42.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided I was going to also\Nstock the shelves with other music,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.29,0:08:44.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like punk rock and heavy metal
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.77,0:08:46.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and hip-hop.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.92,0:08:49.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And while the white-power music\Nthat I was selling
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.48,0:08:51.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was 75 percent of my gross revenue,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.92,0:08:55.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because people were driving in\Nfrom all over the country to buy it
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.26,0:08:57.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the only store that was selling it,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.44,0:09:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also had customers come in\Nto buy the other music.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.22,0:09:06.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And eventually, they started\Nto talk to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.39,0:09:11.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One day, a young black teen came in,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.87,0:09:13.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was visibly upset.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:15.08,0:09:17.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I decided to ask him what was wrong.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.21,0:09:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he told me that his mother\Nhad been diagnosed with breast cancer.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.17,0:09:26.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And suddenly, this young black teenager,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.72,0:09:31.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who I'd never had a meaningful\Nconversation or interaction with,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.30,0:09:33.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was able to connect with,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.05,0:09:37.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because my own mother\Nhad been diagnosed with breast cancer,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.08,0:09:39.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I could feel his pain.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.71,0:09:44.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On another occasion, a gay couple\Ncame in with their son,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.48,0:09:49.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it was undeniable to me\Nthat they loved their son
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.42,0:09:52.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the same profound ways\Nthat I loved mine.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:54.23,0:09:59.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And suddenly, I couldn't rationalize\Nor justify the prejudice
Dialogue: 0,0:09:59.10,0:10:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I had in my head.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.87,0:10:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I decided to pull the white-power\Nmusic from the inventory
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.70,0:10:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I became too embarrassed\Nto sell it in front of my new friends.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.93,0:10:11.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And of course, the store\Ncouldn't sustain itself,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.31,0:10:12.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so I had to close it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.34,0:10:17.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At that same time, I lost\Nnearly everything in my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.48,0:10:20.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I used it as an opportunity to walk away
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.01,0:10:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the movement that\NI'd been a part of for eight years,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.89,0:10:28.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the only identity, community and purpose\Nthat I'd really known for most of my life.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.95,0:10:30.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I had nobody.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.73,0:10:34.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I lost my livelihood\Nbecause I closed the store.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.35,0:10:38.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't have a great relationship\Nwith my parents, even though they tried.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.89,0:10:40.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And my wife and children left me,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.91,0:10:44.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I hadn't left the movement\Nand disengaged quickly enough.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.04,0:10:47.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And suddenly,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.12,0:10:51.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't know who I was again,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.07,0:10:52.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or where I fit in
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.04,0:10:55.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or what my purpose was supposed to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.03,0:10:58.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was miserable inside,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:58.96,0:11:01.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I often woke up in the morning
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.94,0:11:03.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wishing that I hadn't.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:05.59,0:11:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,About five years in,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.35,0:11:11.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one of the few friends that I had\Nwas concerned about my well-being,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.22,0:11:13.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she came to me and she said,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.13,0:11:16.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"You need to do something,\Nbecause I don't want to see you die."
Dialogue: 0,0:11:17.98,0:11:21.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she suggested that I go\Napply for a job where she worked,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.63,0:11:23.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at a company called IBM.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.16,0:11:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I thought she was crazy, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:27.24,0:11:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.94,0:11:33.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here I was, a closeted ex-Nazi\Ncovered in hate tattoos.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.54,0:11:34.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't go to college.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.80,0:11:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd been kicked out of multiple\Nhigh schools multiple times.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.07,0:11:41.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't even own a computer.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.38,0:11:44.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I went in,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:44.66,0:11:48.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and somehow, miraculously, I got the job.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.64,0:11:51.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was thrilled.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:52.22,0:11:54.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then I became terrified to learn
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.88,0:11:58.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they'd actually be putting me\Nback at my old high school,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.46,0:12:00.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the same one I got kicked out of twice,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.89,0:12:03.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to install their computers.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.48,0:12:07.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was a high school\Nwhere I had committed acts of violence
Dialogue: 0,0:12:08.01,0:12:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,against students, against faculty;
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.49,0:12:14.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where I had protested out in front\Nof the school for equal rights for whites
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.65,0:12:17.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and even had a sit-in in the cafeteria
Dialogue: 0,0:12:17.76,0:12:20.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to try and demand a white student union.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.04,0:12:24.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And of course, as karma would have it,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.29,0:12:27.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,within the first couple of hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.68,0:12:31.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who walks right by me\Nbut Mr. Johnny Holmes,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:31.62,0:12:35.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the tough black security guard\NI had gotten in a fistfight with,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.02,0:12:38.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that got me kicked out the second time
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.08,0:12:40.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and led out in handcuffs from the school.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.76,0:12:43.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He didn't recognize me,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:44.25,0:12:45.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I saw him,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.40,0:12:47.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I didn't know what to do.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.83,0:12:51.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was frozen; I was this grown man now,\Nyears out of the movement,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:51.50,0:12:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was sweating and I was trembling.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:54.53,0:12:56.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I decided I had to do something.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.90,0:13:01.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I decided I needed to suffer\Nunder the weight of my past,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.72,0:13:04.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because for five years\NI had tried to outrun it.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:05.10,0:13:08.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd tried to make new friends\Nand cover my tattoos with long sleeves,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.43,0:13:09.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I wouldn't admit it
Dialogue: 0,0:13:09.62,0:13:11.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I was afraid of being judged
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.47,0:13:13.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the same way I had judged other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.86,0:13:18.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, I decided I was going to chase\NMr. Holmes out to the parking lot --
Dialogue: 0,0:13:18.87,0:13:21.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,probably not the smartest\Ndecision that I made.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.40,0:13:22.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.69,0:13:25.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when I found him,\Nhe was getting into his car,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.23,0:13:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I tapped him on the shoulder.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:27.23,0:13:30.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when he turned around\Nand he recognized me,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:30.41,0:13:32.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he took a step back because he was afraid.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:34.91,0:13:36.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I didn't know what to say.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.09,0:13:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finally, the words came out of my mouth,\Nand all I could think to say was,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.15,0:13:43.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I'm sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:13:44.10,0:13:45.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he embraced me,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.39,0:13:47.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he forgave me.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.88,0:13:52.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he encouraged me to forgive myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:54.07,0:14:00.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He recognized that it wasn't the story\Nof some broken go-nowhere kid
Dialogue: 0,0:14:00.19,0:14:03.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was going to just\Njoin a gang and go to prison.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.23,0:14:07.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He knew that this was the story\Nof every young person who was vulnerable,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:07.77,0:14:10.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who was searching for identity,\Ncommunity and purpose,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.61,0:14:12.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then hit a wall
Dialogue: 0,0:14:12.04,0:14:13.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was unable to find it
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.78,0:14:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and went down a dark path.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:17.48,0:14:19.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he made me promise one thing,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:19.60,0:14:22.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I would tell my story\Nto whoever would listen.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:22.85,0:14:24.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was 18 years ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:24.46,0:14:26.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I've been doing it ever since.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:26.74,0:14:31.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.31,0:14:39.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You might be asking yourself right now:
Dialogue: 0,0:14:39.30,0:14:42.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How does a good kid from\Na hardworking immigrant family
Dialogue: 0,0:14:42.35,0:14:45.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,end up going down such a dark path?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.21,0:14:47.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One word: potholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:48.51,0:14:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's right. Potholes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:50.25,0:14:52.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had a lot of potholes when I was kid.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:53.58,0:14:55.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We all had them --
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.15,0:14:58.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, the things in life that we hit
Dialogue: 0,0:14:58.04,0:15:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that invariably just kind of\Nnudge us off our path,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:00.100,0:15:02.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if they remain unresolved
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.44,0:15:04.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or untreated
Dialogue: 0,0:15:05.70,0:15:07.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or not dealt with,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.79,0:15:11.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sometimes we can get dangerously lost\Ndown pretty dark corridors.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:12.23,0:15:14.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Potholes can be things like trauma,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:14.44,0:15:16.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,abuse, unemployment,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:17.67,0:15:18.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,neglect,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:19.65,0:15:21.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,untreated mental health conditions,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:21.87,0:15:23.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even privilege.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:23.94,0:15:27.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we hit enough potholes\Non our journey in life,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:27.70,0:15:31.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we don't have the resources\Nor the help to navigate around them
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.46,0:15:32.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or to pull us out,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.18,0:15:37.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well, sometimes good people\Nend up doing bad things.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.03,0:15:43.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One such person\Nwho had potholes is Darrell.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:43.19,0:15:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Darrell is from upstate New York.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:45.50,0:15:47.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He had read my memoir,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:47.64,0:15:50.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was really upset about the ending.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:50.36,0:15:52.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, I'd gotten out of the movement
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.30,0:15:53.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he was still in.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:53.75,0:15:57.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he emailed me and he said,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:57.48,0:15:59.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I didn't really like the way\Nthat turned out."
Dialogue: 0,0:15:59.84,0:16:01.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said, "Well, I'm sorry."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.58,0:16:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:16:03.23,0:16:06.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"But if you want to talk about it,\Nwe could certainly do that."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:06.25,0:16:09.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And after a couple of weeks\Nof going back and forth with Darrell,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.49,0:16:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I learned he was a 31-year-old\Nmilitary veteran who had been injured
Dialogue: 0,0:16:14.59,0:16:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and was really angry about\Nnot being able to go to Afghanistan
Dialogue: 0,0:16:18.36,0:16:19.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to kill Muslims.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:20.74,0:16:22.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And one day on the phone,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.09,0:16:26.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he told me that he had seen\Na Muslim man in the park praying,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.30,0:16:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that all he wanted to do\Nwas kick him in the face.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:31.38,0:16:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I flew to Buffalo the next day,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:33.97,0:16:35.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I sat down with Darrell,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:36.52,0:16:37.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I asked him,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:38.34,0:16:41.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Have you ever met\Na Muslim person before?"
Dialogue: 0,0:16:42.17,0:16:43.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And he said, "No!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.74,0:16:45.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why the hell would I want to do that?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:45.59,0:16:48.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They're evil. I don't want\Nanything to do with them."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.07,0:16:50.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "OK."
Dialogue: 0,0:16:50.52,0:16:52.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I excused myself,\Nand I went into the bathroom
Dialogue: 0,0:16:52.97,0:16:55.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I took my phone out in the bathroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:55.22,0:16:57.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I Googled the local mosque,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:57.98,0:17:00.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I called them very quietly\Nfrom the bathroom,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:00.29,0:17:04.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I said, "Excuse me,\Nimam, I need a favor.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:04.27,0:17:05.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a Christian man
Dialogue: 0,0:17:05.44,0:17:08.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who would really love to learn more\Nabout your religion."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.28,0:17:10.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:10.98,0:17:12.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Do you mind if we stop by?"
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.28,0:17:16.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, it took some convincing\Nfor Darrell to go,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:17.02,0:17:19.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but finally we got there,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:19.04,0:17:20.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when I knocked on the door,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.57,0:17:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the imam said he only had\N15 minutes left for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:23.69,0:17:26.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he was preparing\Nfor a prayer service.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:26.26,0:17:27.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I said, "We'll take it."
Dialogue: 0,0:17:28.25,0:17:29.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We went in,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:29.43,0:17:34.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and two and a half hours later,\Nwe came out after hugging and crying
Dialogue: 0,0:17:34.64,0:17:38.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, very strangely,\Nbonding over Chuck Norris for some reason.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:38.64,0:17:39.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:17:39.71,0:17:41.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know what it was about that,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:41.67,0:17:43.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that's what happened.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:44.46,0:17:47.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm happy to say now\Nthat Darrell and the imam,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:47.58,0:17:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can often find them\Nat the local falafel stand,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:50.04,0:17:51.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,having lunch together.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.68,0:17:55.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.42,0:18:02.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see, it's our disconnection\Nfrom each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:02.98,0:18:05.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hatred is born of ignorance.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:05.25,0:18:09.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fear is its father,\Nand isolation is its mother.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:09.35,0:18:13.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we don't understand something,\Nwe tend to be afraid of it,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:13.35,0:18:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and if we keep ourselves from it,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:15.10,0:18:18.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that fear grows, and sometimes,\Nit turns into hatred.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:19.12,0:18:22.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Since I've left the movement,\NI've helped over a hundred people
Dialogue: 0,0:18:22.14,0:18:25.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disengage from extremist movements,\Nfrom white supremacist groups --
Dialogue: 0,0:18:25.48,0:18:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:18:34.28,0:18:35.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to even jihadist groups.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:35.83,0:18:40.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the way I do that\Nis not by arguing with them,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:40.41,0:18:41.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not by debating them,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.95,0:18:44.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,not by even telling them they're wrong,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.26,0:18:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though, boy, I want to sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:46.52,0:18:47.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:48.33,0:18:50.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, I don't push them away.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.89,0:18:52.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I draw them in closer,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.22,0:18:57.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I listen very closely\Nfor their potholes,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:58.34,0:19:00.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then I begin to fill them in.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:00.66,0:19:02.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I try to make people more resilient,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:02.94,0:19:04.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more self-confident,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:04.84,0:19:08.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,more able to have skills\Nto compete in the marketplace
Dialogue: 0,0:19:08.89,0:19:11.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that they don't have\Nto blame the other,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:12.76,0:19:14.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the other that they've never met.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:15.76,0:19:19.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'd like to just leave you\Nwith one last thing before I go.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:20.92,0:19:24.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Of all the people I've worked with,\Nthey will all tell you the same thing.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.46,0:19:28.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One, they became extremists
Dialogue: 0,0:19:28.08,0:19:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they wanted to belong,\Nnot because of ideology or dogma.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:32.79,0:19:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And second, what brought them out
Dialogue: 0,0:19:36.29,0:19:38.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was receiving compassion
Dialogue: 0,0:19:38.22,0:19:40.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the people\Nthey least deserved it from,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:41.25,0:19:42.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when they least deserved it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:42.92,0:19:45.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:19:45.04,0:19:47.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I would like\Nto leave you with a challenge:
Dialogue: 0,0:19:47.80,0:19:51.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,go out there today, tomorrow --\Nhopefully every day --
Dialogue: 0,0:19:52.05,0:19:56.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,find somebody that you think\Nis undeserving of your compassion
Dialogue: 0,0:19:56.75,0:19:57.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and give it to them,
Dialogue: 0,0:19:58.69,0:20:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I guarantee you,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:00.11,0:20:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they're the ones who need it the most.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:02.55,0:20:03.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:03.89,0:20:05.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)