WEBVTT
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DAN: What was that chunk?
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PHIL: Stop I don't even know what it was
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D: What is that pink thing?
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P: Soup. I hate it!
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It's my other nemesis aside from cheese.
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If you watched my last cheese video,
where I was trying that,
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I feel pretty similar feelings about soup.
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First of all, is it a food or
is it a drink?
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What's going on?
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Am I swallowing?
Am I chewing?
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Am I gulping?
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Why would you want all these delicious food
types to be blended together?
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Like some kind of mummy bird,
just sicking it into my mouth.
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I don't want it.
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I think I've eaten about three bowls
of soup in my life,
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Honestly,
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And all of those times, I've been forced
in some kind of social pressure situation
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where I'm sat at a table and they're like
"Oh, I've made you some soup!"
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And I'm like (pained soup noises)
"Mmm, blended food"
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So today, I'm gonna try some,
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And see if I can get over this
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'Cause it's holding me back in life.
I want to enjoy it!
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I want to be like, "Mm, yes Timothy, pass
me the extra Minestrone." But no, I'm not.
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Before I forget, we've still got some
Dan & Phil & Cats Calenders in stock,
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So if you wanna grab one before the new
year starts, you can.
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Also our shop is powered by Shopify.
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Which is sponsoring this video,
thank you very much.
00:00:57.381 --> 00:00:58.310
More on that later.
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I've got a little weasel behind the camera
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D: (gremlin voice) What up?
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P: (laughs) Here he is,
Agent of chaos.
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D: Today I'm gonna be the dealer of liquids
P: Oh, God.
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D: I'm gonna get this microwussy waving
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P: As usual, I don't know what I'm gonna
be trying.
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D: I love soup. I do not understand you.
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When you are cold, there is nothing that
will warm your heart
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like a hearty bowl of souP.
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I have procured for you a selection,
a spectrum of soup.
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P: Are some of them gay?
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D: I wanna get you in on the ground floor,
I wanna get you to acknowledge
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that there is something to soup.
P: Fine, okay.
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D: And then I'm gonna tease you on an
insidious journey of learning and growth
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Until you're just absolutely gagging to
guzzle that goop right at the end.
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P: (laughs) Oh my god.
D: Now Phil, what people liked
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about your cheese video is that you went
into it with an open mind.
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P: My mind is open!
D: You wanted your life to be less
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impacted by the cheese hate.
P: Yes.
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D: So you have to go into this wanting
soup to be a part of your life.
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P: I'm gonna imagine the soup is the gay
bar, and I'm recently out of the closet.
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I'm gonna go in there with my open...
D: Oh-kay.
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P: Maybe by the end of it, I'll be pouring
soup all over my...
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D: Okay, and then I'm out.
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D: And before anyone says, 'why am I not
giving Phil a delicious slice
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of buttered bread as well'
P: Yes!
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D: I will say this to you, Phil
the thing with soup, honestly,
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Is it's just a vehicle for the bread.
It's just spicy bread lube.
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That's all that's going on there.
P: Yeah.
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D: I don't want this video to just be
you enjoying 10 slices of bread.
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P: I'd love that!
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D: This is about the soup, so you will NOT
get the joy of bread,
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You must focus on the liquid.
P: Fine.
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D: First up, catch!
P: Ah! Ow!
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D: Yeah, sorry, I just threw a full can
of soup at you.
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P: Soup is hard!
D: That is not an easy catch item.
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P: My chest isn't strong. What is this?
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D: We are kicking off with the ultimate
go-to.
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P: Aww, no.
D: You can't have a strong opinion on this
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P: I have a strong opinion.
D: This is the point -
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you literally cannot have a strong
opinion on this.
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P: When anyone is-
D. Heinz. Tomato. Soup.
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P: Wait, it's not tomato soup,
it's cream of tomato.
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D: Cream of tomato.
P: How do you cream a tomato?
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D: I've got some good questions.
How'd you get those tomatoes creaming?
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P: What are they doing to them?
D: What're they doing?
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Do you like ketchup?
P: In small quantities
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D: Then what the fu-[bark]-ck?
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P: I don't want to neck
a whole glass of of it!
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Do I have to shake it first?
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D: I don't know,
that might make it explode.
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P: Whenever someone cooks this in a house,
I'm like "(ugh noises) smells delicious!"
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When really, I want to leave.
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Da da da music
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D: I have peeled the can.
Look at it.
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P: Oh! It's so orange.
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D: Look at that primordial liquid.
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P: Oh, it doesn't smell good.
D: It doesn't smell good?
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P: It smells like pure ketchup.
It smells like someone's grandma's house.
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I have never eaten tomato soup in my life.
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D: Present it. Look at that.
That is the ultimate object. No way!
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P: I hate tomatoes and I hate soup.
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D: People that are normal
are looking at you like
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"Shut the [bark] up and drink the soup!"
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P: People out there
don't like other foods, right?
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Look if you don't like broccoli, you're
not gonna want to eat it on camera. Ok.
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D: Why are you holding the spoon like
someone that has never held a spoon before?
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P: I'm an alien in human skin.
D: That's obvious.
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P: Ah! Okay, oh God.
D: Come on.
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P: I don't like - I don't want it!
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D: You gonna blow on it?
(Phil blowing air loudly, laughing)
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D: Yeah, do the thing, oh yeah.
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P: Count me down.
D: Shut up! 3,2,1
00:03:42.897 --> 00:03:46.928
(Very dramatic music.)
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P: Ew. That is like eating ketchup!
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Why would anyone want a whole
bowl of ketchup?
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D: (cackles)
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P: It's not horrible, okay.
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D: It is the midness of a tomato. It is
literally the most mid thing in the world.
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P: Yeah.
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D: With a little bit of cream to make it
creamy,
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and then a little bit of spice to
make it interesting. Have one more spoon
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Think of it as just the midness of tomato.
P: I'm dipping something in some fries.
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D: A little bit of cream -
P: I'm dipping. Here we go.
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D: Warming spices, cream of tomato.
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P: No. Nah. Euh.
D: Really?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: It's too strong!
It's like - I don't want,
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D: Who's paying you to have this reaction?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Where's the spice? There's no spices.
You kept saying it's spicy!
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D: You can smell the spice!
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P: That's never been near a spice.
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D: What do you thing a [bark]ing tomato
tastes like?
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P: Horrible.
D: Agh..
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P: The aftertaste isn't so bad. I'm not
a hater, I'll give it a four.
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D: And would you say you were drinking it
or eating it?
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P: I was drinking that.
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D: Did your mouth go (ASMR mouth noise.)?
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I think if you put the soup in your mouth
and you do one (mouth noise), it's eating.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: I think it was a frink.
I'm not on the soup train yet.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Well good, I'm going to give you
a reprieve, because now --
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P: Do not launch it at my face
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D: No. Before we go forward,
we're going to step backwards.
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P: Alright
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D: And in the genre of things that could
be considered soups, (P: Yes)
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there are several things that are not
really soup.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The first of which is A Cup of Soup.
P: Cup of Soup?
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D:Notice how even though it's a completely
different brand, it is once again -
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P: Cream!
D: Cream!
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D&P: Cream of Vegetable
D: With croutons
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P: We've got a carrot, we've got a pea,
we've got a leek,
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And there's four croutons.
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D: Are there any ingredients you don't
like here? Come on, man.
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P: I like all of these things.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Well, Phil you're about to take this
to the next level,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Cause this one is gonna have chunks.
P: Ehww, chunky.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Da da da music)
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D: Here is your soup
P: Ooh, powdery
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D: All the best things come in suspicious
saches
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P: I'm feeling some chunks.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: And Phil, here is your vehicle.
P: Thank you.
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What'd happen if I snorted it?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Let's find out. Now we're getting
to the real views.
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P: Ooh, it's not an appealing color.
D: Why is that nuclear green?
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P: Here we go --
D: Ohhoh, little chunks!
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P: Ehhm, can't wait for my snack!
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It smells like sour cream & onion Pringles
D: Wait a minute, what?
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Here is your cream of vegetable soup
with croutons.
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P: Ohh, that is an unappealing look.
(laughs, scared)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: It's so colorful!
P: Yes.
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D: And bright
P: I'm so happy to have this in my life,
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I've been so cold in those mines
D: yeah, slurp those chunks
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P: Ok, it's not that bad
D: That was a journey!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That was a [bark]ing journey!
You are a complex animal, Phil Lester.
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P: (laughing) Stop!
D: What is going on? It's a Cup of Soup.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: I'm just scared of it.
Right, here's the thing-
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D: Take a gulp!
P: I did it! I did a gulp.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: No, a huge [bark]ing gulp.
yeah, come on, swallow a bit
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Mm. There's a chunk!
D: Oh yeah.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Do I chew?
D: Yes, you chew the crouton.
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You don't just swallow it like a pill,
you maniac (P: laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: It's not a punishment, it's bread.
P: I'm struggling.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The flavor's alright, it's not too bad.
It tastes like Pringles.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Right. So -
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P: It's more inoffensive and it feels a
little bit healthier,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
ironically for something that came
out of a powder (D: Yes)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you know what I mean. And also the
chunks are reminding me it's real food.
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D: Ok, so you like that, do you?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: But having both at the same time,
I'm like, Am I chewing? Am I swallowing?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's a confusing throat sensation.
D: Mm.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Overall, (mouth noises), a six.
I wouldn't have it again,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: You'd never have it again? On a cold
day? If that was there, you'd not think,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'oh I could go for a little Cup of Soup
right now?'
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: No, I'd go for a delicious sandwich.
That is a solid.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Ughh. (soup chomp)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I mean, it tastes like leafy water.
P: (laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is one of the most uninspiring food
objects I've ever interacted with.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Now is a great time to stop guzzling
and tell you guys all about Shopify -
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Oh, nice excuse. Yeah right.
P: Who have sponsored this video!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Taking a soup break.
P: Thanks... babes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We've had D&P Shop for nearly 10 years-
D: Disturbing!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: And the whole time, Shopify has helped
power it, create different home pages,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Not saying me and Phil both couldn't
run a shop
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: We need all the help we can get
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Shopify is like
'here you go, have a shop'
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: It really helped us start out when we
were initially a small business.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: To help you visualize it, Phil sat in
his Minecraft pyjamas in bed
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the Shopify app literally just doing
the whole thing (P: Yes)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and if he can do it, you can do it.
P: Yes. (D laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, if you have a New Year's Resolution,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You might be thinking, 'oh, I've been
knitting these scarfs,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'if only I had a little shop to sell one!'
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: 'I make my own soup'
P: Yeah
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Shopify is so easy to create your own
online shop.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Phil's tinny soupy dreams.
P: I'm not creating a soup shop!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Cream of Phil
P: Stop.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: You could do that
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: That's not going to be the next billion
dollar idea.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: You, watching this video right now
could start Creamy Chunks of Phil,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and then he will sue you.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: We recently completely covered our shop
in cats.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: I'm mainly here for the graphic design.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: There's also lots of cool tools to be
like 'who's coming to your shop?'
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
'Who's buying what?
Where do they come from?'
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: They also allowed us to do a version
where we have 'Legalise' correctly
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and 'LegaliZe' on the American store.
P: Yes.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Incorrectly
P: Wrongly
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So, if you want to start your
entrepreneurial adventure,
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you can click the link below to check out
Shopify, and I wish you a prosperous 2024!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And, there's still time!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thanks, Shopify, for distracting me from
what I'm about to experience.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Right, back to the soup. No fun for you
P: Ughh
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Next up, can to the head! Wah-bam!
P: Ahh
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Psych.
P: I'm going to die an early grave
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: In our journey of things that are not
really soup, we have broth.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: What's a broth?
D: This ain't a soup
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Tasty clear broth
D: Mmm, clear
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Made with flavorful chicken stock and
brimming with root vegetables
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Brimming
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: We love it in our kitchen, it's a
Firm Family Favorite!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You have broth if you're sick, don't you?
Or if you're a witch.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(slightly witchy) I made you some broth.
D: (laughs)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Does the fact that it's clear fill you
with hope or terror?
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Both.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Peel! That! Can!
(can pops)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Ooh, ooh
D: Oh yeah
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Phil is an alien, evidence compilation
episode 2.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: I just don't want to throw it all over
myself.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: It's not even with a can opener,
you're just peeling the can.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Oh, it's chunky again.
(can clinks)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Oh my god you just sprayed me
with broth!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Watch where you're pointing that thing!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: I warned you!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: It doesn't look appealing.
P: That smells like acrylic paint.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Dan sniffs loudly)
D: It smells distinctly chalky.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: It's been found in a cave.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's why witches have broth!
Because it smells like a witch -
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Witches do not live in caves.
Apologize to your Sapphic audience.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Sorry. I'm sorry.
I mean the one in Elden Ring.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(da da da music)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ooh, it's quite gloopy.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Oh, it's got a gelatinous aspect to it.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Mm, gelatinous white liquid.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Guys, if it looks like that, speak to
a doctor immediately.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: Ha, stop it!
Now I don't want it at all!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(dramatic music plays)
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
D: Are you [bark]ing serious?
Blow. Blow. Blow.
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
P: (laughs)
D: Hurry up, I haven't got all day!
99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm taking time out of my Saturday filming
this for you!