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DAN: What was that chunk?

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PHIL: Stop I don't even know what that was

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D: What is that pink thing?

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P: Soup. I hate it!

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It's my other nemesis aside from cheese.

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If you watched my last cheese video, 
where I was trying that,

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I feel pretty similar feelings about soup.

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First of all, is it a food or
is it a drink?

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What's going on?

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Am I swallowing?
Am I chewing?

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Am I gulping?

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Why would you want all these delicious food
types to be blended together?

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Like some kind of mummy bird,
just sicking it into my mouth.

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I don't want it.

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I think I've eaten about three bowls
of soup in my life,

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Honestly,

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And all of those times, I've been forced
in some kind of social pressure situation

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where I'm sat at a table and they're like
"Oh, I've made you some soup!"

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And I'm like <i>(pained soup noises)</i>
"Mmm, blended food"

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So today, I'm gonna try some,

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And see if I can get over this

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'Cause it's holding me back in life.
I want to enjoy it!

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I want to be like, "Mm, yes Timothy, pass
me the extra Minestrone." But no, I'm not.

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Before I forget, we've still got some
Dan & Phil & Cats Calenders in stock,

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So if you wanna grab one before the new
year starts, you can.

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Also our shop is powered by Shopify.

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Which is sponsoring this video,
thank you very much.

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More on that later.

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I've got a little weasel behind the camera

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- (gremlin voice) What up?

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- (laughs) Here he is,
Agent of chaos.

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- Today I'm gonna be the dealer of liquids
- Oh, God.

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D: I'm gonna get this microwussy waving

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-As usual, I don't know what I'm gonna
be trying.

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D: I love soup. I do not understand you.

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When you are cold, there is nothing that
will warm your heart

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like a hearty bowl of souP.

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I have procured for you a selection,
a spectrum of soup.

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P: Are some of them gay?

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D: I wanna get you in on the ground floor,
I wanna get you to acknowledge

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that there is something to soup.
P: Fine, okay.

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D: And then I'm gonna tease you on an
insidious journey of learning and growth

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Until you're just absolutely gagging to
guzzle that goop right at the end.

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P: (laughs) Oh my god.
D: Now Phil, what people liked

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about your cheese video is that you went
into it with an open mind.

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P: My mind is open!
D: You wanted your life to be less

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impacted by the cheese hate.
P: Yes.

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D: So you have to go into this wanting
soup to be a part of your life.

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P: I'm gonna imagine the soup is the gay
bar, and I'm recently out of the closet.

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I'm gonna go in there with my open...
D: Oh-kay.

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P: Maybe by the end of it, I'll be pouring
soup all over my...

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D: Okay, and then I'm out.
<i>Static and beep.</i>

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D: And before anyone says, 'why am I not
giving Phil a delicious slice

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of buttered bread as well'
P: Yes!

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D: I will say this to you, Phil
the thing with soup, honestly,

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Is it's just a vehicle for the bread.
It's just spicy bread lube.

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That's all that's going on there.
P: Yeah.

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D: I don't want this video to just be
you enjoying 10 slices of bread.

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P: I'd love that!

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D: This is about the soup, so you will NOT
get the bread,

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You must focus on the liquid.
P: Fine.

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D: First up, catch!
P: Ah! Ow!

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D: Yeah, sorry, I just threw a full can
of soup at you.

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P: Soup is hard!
D: That is not an easy catch item.

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P: My chest isn't strong. What is this?

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D: We are kicking off with the ultimate
go-to.

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P: Aww, no.
D: Phil, you cannot have a strong opinion on this.

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P: I have a strong opinion.
D: This is the point -

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you literally cannot have a strong 
opinion on this.

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P: When anyone is- 
D. Heinz. Tomato. Soup.

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P: Wait, it's not tomato soup,
it's cream of tomato.

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D: Cream of tomato.
P: How do you cream a tomato?

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D: I've got some good questions.
How'd you get those tomatoes creaming?

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P: What are they doing to them?
D: What're they doing?

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Do you like ketchup?
P: In small quantities

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D: Then what the fu-[bark]-ck?
P: I don't want to neck

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a whole glass of of it!

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Do I have to shake it first?

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D: I don't know,
that might make it explode.

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P: Whenever someone cooks this in a house,

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I'm like "<i>(disgusted noises)</i> smells delicious!"

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When really, I want to leave.

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<i>Da da da music</i>

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D: I have peeled the can.
Look at it.

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P: Oh! It's so orange.

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D: Look at that primordial liquid.

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P: Oh, it doesn't smell good.

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D: It doesn't smell good?

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P: It smells like pure ketchup.
It smells like someone's grandma's house.

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I have never eaten tomato soup in my life.

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D: Present it. Look at that.
That is the ultimate object. No way!

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P: I hate tomatoes and I hate soup.

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D: People that are normal
are looking at you like

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"Shut the [bark] up and drink the soup!"

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P: People out there
don't like other foods, right?

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Look if you don't like broccoli, you're 
not gonna want to eat it on camera. Ok.

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D: Why are you holding the spoon like
someone that has never held a spoon before?

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P: I'm an alien in human skin.
D: (unintelligible snark)

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P: Ah! Okay, oh God.
D: Come on.

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P: I don't like - I don't want it!

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D: You gonna blow on it?
<i>(Phil blowing air loudly, laughing)</i>

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D: Yeah, do the thing, oh yeah.

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P: Count me down.
D: Shut up! 3,2,1

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<i>(Very dramatic music.)</i>

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P: Ew. That is like eating ketchup!

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Why would anyone want a whole
bowl of ketchup?

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D: <i>(cackles)</i>

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P: It's not horrible, okay.

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D: It is the midness of a tomato. It is 
literally the most mid thing in the world.

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P: Yeah.

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D: With a little bit of cream to make it
creamy,

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and then a little bit of spice to
make it interesting. Have one more spoon

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Think of it as just the midness of tomato.
P: I'm dipping something in some fries.

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D: A little bit of cream -
P: I'm dipping. Here we go.

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D: Warming spices, cream of tomato.

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P: No. Nah. Euh.
D: Really?

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P: It's too strong! 
It's like - I don't want,

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D: Who's paying you to have this reaction?

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P: Where's the spice? There's no spices.
You kept saying it's spicy!

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D: You can smell the spice!

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P: That's never been near a spice.

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D: What do you thing a [bark]ing tomato
tastes like?

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P: Horrible.
D: Agh..

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P: The aftertaste isn't so bad. I'm not
a hater, I'll give it a four.

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D: And would you say you were drinking it
or eating it?

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P: I was drinking that.

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D: Did your mouth go <i>(ASMR mouth noise.)</i>?

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I think if you put the soup in your mouth
and you do one <i>(mouth noise)</i>, it's eating.

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P: I think it was a frink.
I'm not on the soup train yet.

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D: Well good, I'm going to give you
a reprieve, because now --

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P: Do not launch it at my face

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D: No. Before we go forward, 
we're going to step backwards.

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P: Alright

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D: And in the genre of things that could
be considered soups, (P: Yes)

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there are several things that are not
really soup.

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The first of which is A Cup of Soup.
P: Cup of Soup?

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D:Notice how even though it's a completely
different brand, it is once again -

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P: Cream!
D: Cream!

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D&P: Cream of Vegetable
D: With croutons

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P: We've got a carrot, we've got a pea,
we've got a leek,

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And there's four croutons.

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D: Are there any ingredients you don't
like here? Come on, man.

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P: I like all of these things.

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D: Well, Phil you're about to take this
to the next level,

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Cause this one is gonna have <b>chunks.</b>
P: Ehww, chunky.

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<i>(Da da da music)</i>

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D: Here is your soup
P: Ooh, powdery

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D: All the best things come in suspicious
saches

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P: I'm feeling some chunks.

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D: And Phil, here is your vehicle.
P: Thank you.

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What'd happen if I snorted it?

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D: Let's find out. Now we're getting
to the real views.

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P: Ooh, it's not an appealing color.
D: Why is that nuclear green?

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P: Here we go -- 
D: Ohhoh, little chunks!

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P: Ehhm, can't wait for my snack!

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It smells like sour cream & onion Pringles
D: Wait a minute, what?

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Here is your cream of vegetable soup 
with croutons.

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P: Ohh, that is an unappealing look.
<i>(laughs, scared)</i>

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D: It's so colorful!
P: Yes.

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D: And bright
P: I'm so happy to have this in my life,

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I've been so cold in those mines
D: yeah, slurp those chunks

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P: Ok, it's not that bad
D: That was a journey!

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That was a [bark]ing journey!
You are a complex animal, Phil Lester.

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P: (laughing) Stop!
D: What is going on? It's a Cup of Soup.

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P: I'm just scared of it. 
Right, here's the thing-

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D: Take a gulp!
P: I did it! I did a gulp.

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D: No, a huge [bark]ing gulp.
yeah, come on, swallow a bit

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P: Mm. There's a chunk!
D: Oh yeah.

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P: Do I chew?
D: Yes, you chew the crouton.

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You don't just swallow it like a pill,
you maniac (<i>P: laughs</i>)

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D: It's not a punishment, it's bread.
P: I'm struggling.

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The flavor's alright, it's not too bad.
It tastes like Pringles.

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D: Right. So -

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P: It's more inoffensive than