[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.28,0:00:02.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Look at me!"
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.68,0:00:09.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That phrase turned me\Ninto an eye-contact coach.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.80,0:00:13.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the mother of Ivan; he's 15 years old.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.52,0:00:16.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan has autism,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.49,0:00:18.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he doesn't speak,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.06,0:00:20.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he communicates through an iPad,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.07,0:00:23.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where his whole universe of words\Nexists in images.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.95,0:00:30.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He was diagnosed\Nwhen he was two and a half.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.71,0:00:35.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I still remember that day painfully.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.48,0:00:40.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My husband and I felt really lost;
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.49,0:00:43.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we didn't know where to begin.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.94,0:00:47.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There was no internet,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.39,0:00:49.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you couldn't Google information,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.70,0:00:52.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we made those first steps
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.62,0:00:55.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,out of sheer intuition.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.85,0:00:59.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan would not maintain eye contact,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.01,0:01:03.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he had lost the words that he did know,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.28,0:01:08.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he didn't respond to his name\Nor to anything we asked him,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.07,0:01:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if words were noise.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.47,0:01:17.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only way I could know
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.02,0:01:19.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what was going on with him,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.30,0:01:21.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what he felt,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.34,0:01:24.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was looking him in the eye.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.81,0:01:27.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But that bridge was broken.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.62,0:01:33.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I teach him about life?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.52,0:01:39.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When I did things he liked,\Nhe would look at me,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.45,0:01:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we were connected.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.88,0:01:45.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I dedicated myself\Nto working with him on those things,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.48,0:01:49.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we would have more and more\Neye-contact moments.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.29,0:01:57.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We would spend hours and hours playing tag\Nwith his older sister, Alexia,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.50,0:02:01.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when we said: "I caught you!"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.19,0:02:03.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he would look around for us,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.97,0:02:09.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and at that moment,\NI could feel he was alive.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.09,0:02:18.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also hold a record for hours spent\Nin a swimming pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.18,0:02:22.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan always had a passion for water.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.83,0:02:26.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I remember when he was two and a half,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.76,0:02:31.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on a rainy winter day,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.08,0:02:33.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was taking him to an indoor pool,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.58,0:02:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because even on rainy days\Nwe'd go swimming.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.82,0:02:41.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were on the highway,\Nand I took the wrong exit.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.30,0:02:46.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He burst into tears and cried\Ninconsolably, nonstop,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.26,0:02:47.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,until I turned back.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.54,0:02:50.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Only then did he calm down.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.53,0:02:55.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How was it possible\Nthat a two and a half year old
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.25,0:02:57.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,didn't respond to his own name,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.85,0:03:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yet in the middle of the rain and fog,\Nwhere I couldn't see anything,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.100,0:03:06.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he knew the exact route?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.07,0:03:12.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's when I realized that Ivan\Nhad an exceptional visual memory,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.54,0:03:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that that would be my way in.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.83,0:03:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I started taking\Npictures of everything,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.87,0:03:23.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and teaching him what life was like,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.04,0:03:26.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing it to him, picture by picture.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.76,0:03:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even now, it's the way Ivan communicates
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.48,0:03:33.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what he wants,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.31,0:03:35.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what he needs
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.39,0:03:38.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also what he feels.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.02,0:03:45.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it wasn't just\NIvan's eye contact that mattered.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.93,0:03:48.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everyone else's did, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.74,0:03:54.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,How could I make people see\Nnot only his autism,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.75,0:03:56.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but see him the person
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.31,0:03:58.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and everything he can give;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.32,0:04:02.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,everything he can do;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.39,0:04:06.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the things he likes and doesn't like,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.05,0:04:07.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just like any one of us?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.31,0:04:12.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But for that, I also had\Nto give of myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.79,0:04:15.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I had to have the strength to let him go,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.90,0:04:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which was extremely difficult.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:21.30,0:04:22.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan was 11 years old,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.76,0:04:27.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he went for treatment\Nin a neighborhood near our house.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.79,0:04:32.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One afternoon,\Nwhile I was waiting for him,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.86,0:04:34.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I went into a greengrocer,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.22,0:04:37.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a typical neighborhood store\Nwith a little bit of everything.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.43,0:04:39.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,While doing the shopping,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.00,0:04:43.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I started talking to Jose, the owner.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.94,0:04:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I told him about Ivan,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.06,0:04:48.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that he had autism,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:49.44,0:04:53.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that I wanted him to learn\Nto walk down the street by himself,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.73,0:04:55.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,without anyone holding his hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.88,0:05:00.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I decided to ask Jose\Nif Thursdays around 2pm,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.51,0:05:05.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan could come and help him arrange\Nthe water bottles on the shelves,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.28,0:05:07.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because he loved to organize things.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.62,0:05:11.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And as a reward, he could buy\Nsome chocolate cookies,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:11.41,0:05:13.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which were his favorite.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.84,0:05:17.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He said "yes" right away.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.82,0:05:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's how it went for a year:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.08,0:05:24.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ivan would go to Jose's greengrocer,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.31,0:05:28.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,help him arrange the shelves\Nof water bottles
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.78,0:05:34.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the labels perfectly\Nlined up on the same side,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.07,0:05:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he would leave happy\Nwith his chocolate cookies.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.05,0:05:46.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Jose is not an expert in autism.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.29,0:05:52.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no need to be an expert
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.21,0:05:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,nor do anything heroic to include someone.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.08,0:06:02.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We just need to be there --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.52,0:06:04.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.94,0:06:12.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause ends)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.74,0:06:15.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really, no heroic deed --
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.98,0:06:19.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we simply need to be close.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.95,0:06:23.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And if we are afraid of something
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.51,0:06:26.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we don't understand something,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.72,0:06:27.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we need to ask.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.18,0:06:30.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's be curious
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.36,0:06:35.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but never indifferent.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.22,0:06:41.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's have the courage\Nto look each other in the eye,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.39,0:06:46.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because by looking,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:46.51,0:06:49.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can open a whole world to someone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.14,0:06:53.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.56,0:06:55.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Cheers)