0:00:01.278,0:00:02.657 "Look at me!" 0:00:04.676,0:00:09.301 That phrase turned me[br]into an eye-contact coach. 0:00:10.795,0:00:13.739 I'm the mother of Iván; he's 15 years old. 0:00:14.519,0:00:16.463 Iván has autism, 0:00:16.487,0:00:18.032 he doesn't speak, 0:00:18.056,0:00:20.046 and he communicates through an iPad, 0:00:20.070,0:00:23.942 where his whole universe of words[br]exists in images. 0:00:25.947,0:00:30.489 He was diagnosed[br]when he was two and a half. 0:00:31.707,0:00:35.720 I still remember that day painfully. 0:00:37.479,0:00:40.212 My husband and I felt really lost; 0:00:41.489,0:00:43.667 we didn't know where to begin. 0:00:44.940,0:00:47.365 There was no Internet, 0:00:47.389,0:00:49.819 you couldn't Google information, 0:00:50.705,0:00:52.682 so we made those first steps 0:00:53.619,0:00:55.745 out of sheer intuition. 0:00:57.849,0:00:59.939 Iván would not maintain eye contact, 0:01:01.011,0:01:03.260 he had lost the words that he did know, 0:01:04.284,0:01:08.261 and he didn't respond to his name[br]or to anything we asked him, 0:01:09.069,0:01:11.356 as if words were noise. 0:01:13.467,0:01:17.375 The only way I could know 0:01:18.017,0:01:19.635 what was going on with him, 0:01:20.303,0:01:21.802 what he felt, 0:01:22.337,0:01:24.196 was looking him in the eye. 0:01:25.809,0:01:27.962 But that bridge was broken. 0:01:30.621,0:01:33.052 How could I teach him about life? 0:01:35.519,0:01:39.427 When I did things he liked,[br]he would look at me, 0:01:39.451,0:01:40.985 and we were connected. 0:01:41.885,0:01:45.453 So I dedicated myself[br]to working with him on those things, 0:01:45.477,0:01:49.806 so we would have more and more[br]eye-contact moments. 0:01:51.290,0:01:57.811 We would spend hours and hours playing tag[br]with his older sister, Alexia, 0:01:58.502,0:02:01.119 and when we said: "I caught you!" 0:02:02.186,0:02:03.880 he would look around for us, 0:02:04.970,0:02:09.709 and at that moment,[br]I could feel he was alive. 0:02:13.088,0:02:18.015 We also hold a record for hours spent[br]in a swimming pool. 0:02:19.182,0:02:22.538 Iván always had a passion for water. 0:02:23.834,0:02:26.691 I remember when he was two and a half, 0:02:27.761,0:02:31.061 on a rainy winter day, 0:02:31.085,0:02:33.561 I was taking him to a covered pool, 0:02:33.585,0:02:36.235 because even on rainy days[br]we'd go to the pool. 0:02:37.823,0:02:41.511 We were on the highway,[br]and I took the wrong exit. 0:02:42.295,0:02:46.237 He burst into tears and cried[br]inconsolably, nonstop, 0:02:46.261,0:02:47.781 until I turned back. 0:02:48.536,0:02:50.158 Only then did he calm down. 0:02:51.528,0:02:55.224 How was it possible[br]that a two and a half year old 0:02:55.248,0:02:57.055 didn't respond to his own name, 0:02:57.851,0:03:01.975 yet in the middle of the rain and fog,[br]where I couldn't see anything, 0:03:01.999,0:03:06.305 he knew the exact route? 0:03:09.066,0:03:12.506 That's when I realized that Iván[br]had an exceptional visual memory, 0:03:13.542,0:03:16.942 and that that would be my way in. 0:03:17.827,0:03:20.197 So I started taking[br]pictures of everything, 0:03:20.868,0:03:23.014 and teaching him what life was like, 0:03:23.038,0:03:26.628 showing it to him, picture by picture. 0:03:27.758,0:03:32.456 Even now, it's the way Iván communicates 0:03:32.480,0:03:33.842 what he wants, 0:03:34.311,0:03:35.590 what he needs, 0:03:36.392,0:03:38.782 and also what he feels. 0:03:42.023,0:03:45.222 But it wasn't just Iván's look[br]that mattered. 0:03:46.932,0:03:48.896 Everyone else's did, too. 0:03:50.735,0:03:54.725 How could I make people see[br]not only his autism, 0:03:54.749,0:03:56.145 but see him the person, 0:03:57.312,0:03:58.981 and everything he can give; 0:04:00.316,0:04:02.062 everything he can do; 0:04:03.387,0:04:06.025 the things he likes and doesn't like, 0:04:06.049,0:04:07.889 just like any one of us? 0:04:09.311,0:04:12.381 But for that, I also had[br]to give of myself. 0:04:13.794,0:04:15.841 I had to have the strength to let him go, 0:04:16.896,0:04:18.955 which was extremely difficult. 0:04:21.297,0:04:22.767 Iván was 11 years old, 0:04:23.755,0:04:27.445 and he went for treatment[br]in a neighborhood near our house. 0:04:28.793,0:04:32.224 One afternoon,[br]while I was waiting for him, 0:04:32.863,0:04:34.199 I went into a greengrocer, 0:04:34.223,0:04:37.492 a typical neighborhood store[br]with a little bit of everything. 0:04:38.428,0:04:39.980 While doing the shopping, 0:04:40.004,0:04:43.214 I started talking to José, the owner. 0:04:44.942,0:04:46.325 I told him about Iván, 0:04:47.057,0:04:48.413 that he had autism, 0:04:49.437,0:04:53.705 and that I wanted him to learn[br]to walk down the street by himself, 0:04:53.729,0:04:55.829 without anyone holding his hand. 0:04:56.875,0:05:00.541 So I decided to ask José[br]if Thursdays around 2pm, 0:05:01.509,0:05:05.258 Iván could come and help him arrange[br]the water bottles on the shelves, 0:05:05.282,0:05:07.597 because he loved to organize things. 0:05:07.621,0:05:11.387 And as a reward, he could buy[br]some chocolate cookies, 0:05:11.411,0:05:13.157 which were his favorite. 0:05:15.843,0:05:17.343 He said "yes" right away. 0:05:18.815,0:05:22.057 So that's how it went for a year: 0:05:22.081,0:05:24.371 Iván would go to José's greengrocer, 0:05:25.312,0:05:28.756 help him arrange the shelves[br]of water bottles 0:05:28.780,0:05:34.043 with the labels perfectly[br]lined up on the same side, 0:05:34.067,0:05:37.674 and he would leave happy[br]with his chocolate cookies. 0:05:44.054,0:05:46.474 José is not an expert in autism. 0:05:49.291,0:05:52.102 There is no need to be an expert, 0:05:53.212,0:05:57.000 nor do anything heroic to include someone. 0:06:00.084,0:06:02.080 We just need to be there -- 0:06:02.515,0:06:04.087 (Applause) 0:06:10.012,0:06:11.584 (Applause ends) 0:06:13.737,0:06:15.254 Really, no heroic deed -- 0:06:16.977,0:06:19.269 we simply need to be close. 0:06:21.948,0:06:23.624 And if we are afraid of something 0:06:24.511,0:06:26.695 or we don't understand something, 0:06:26.719,0:06:27.968 we need to ask. 0:06:29.182,0:06:30.862 Let's be curious, 0:06:32.362,0:06:35.522 but never indifferent. 0:06:38.217,0:06:41.767 Let's have the courage[br]to look each other in the eye, 0:06:44.386,0:06:46.488 because by looking, 0:06:46.512,0:06:49.585 we can open a whole world to someone else. 0:06:51.142,0:06:53.540 (Applause) 0:06:53.564,0:06:55.888 (Cheers)