WEBVTT 00:00:01.659 --> 00:00:04.680 I had a black dog. His name was depression. 00:00:07.448 --> 00:00:09.629 Whenever the black dog made an appearance, 00:00:09.629 --> 00:00:11.939 I felt empty and life seemed to slow down. 00:00:13.218 --> 00:00:16.569 He could surprise me with a visit for no reason or occasion. 00:00:22.441 --> 00:00:26.980 When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog 00:00:17.968 --> 00:00:21.227 The black dog made me look and feel older than my years. 00:00:28.120 --> 00:00:31.810 Activities that usually brought me pleasure, suddenly ceased to. 00:00:33.609 --> 00:00:35.789 He liked to ruin my appetite. 00:00:37.330 --> 00:00:39.861 He chewed up my memory and my ability to concentrate. 00:00:41.576 --> 00:00:47.325 Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog required super human strength. 00:00:48.336 --> 00:00:50.876 At social occasions, he would sniff out what confidence I had 00:00:51.090 --> 00:00:52.526 and chase it away. 00:00:53.675 --> 00:00:55.955 My biggest fear was being found out. 00:00:55.955 --> 00:00:57.816 I worried that people would judge me. 00:00:58.133 --> 00:01:03.686 Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog I was constantly worried that I would be found out. 00:01:03.686 --> 00:01:07.505 So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up. 00:01:07.505 --> 00:01:10.686 Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting 00:01:11.345 --> 00:01:15.126 Black dog could make me think and say negative things. 00:01:16.746 --> 00:01:20.277 He could make me irritable and difficult to be around. 00:01:21.856 --> 00:01:24.974 He would take my love and bury my intimacy. 00:01:25.937 --> 00:01:30.495 He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive and negative thinking. 00:01:30.816 --> 00:01:34.335 He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day. 00:01:34.854 --> 00:01:40.056 Having a black dog in your life isn’t so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue... 00:01:40.056 --> 00:01:42.895 at its worst it’s about being devoid of feeling altogether. 00:01:43.604 --> 00:01:46.225 As I got older the black dog got bigger 00:01:46.225 --> 00:01:49.156 and he started hanging around all the time. 00:01:49.804 --> 00:01:52.264 I’d chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running. 00:01:53.584 --> 00:01:56.246 But more often than not he’d come out on top 00:01:56.246 --> 00:01:59.615 going down became easier than getting up again. 00:01:59.615 --> 00:02:03.415 So I became rather good at self medication... 00:02:03.415 --> 00:02:04.884 which never really helped. 00:02:06.995 --> 00:02:11.434 Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone. 00:02:13.135 --> 00:02:17.266 The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life. 00:02:17.266 --> 00:02:21.535 When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the point of it is. 00:02:22.165 --> 00:02:25.614 Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help. 00:02:25.614 --> 00:02:30.284 This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life 00:02:30.284 --> 00:02:32.655 I learnt that it doesn’t matter who you are 00:02:32.655 --> 00:02:34.935 the black dog affects millions and millions of people; 00:02:34.935 --> 00:02:37.515 it is an equal opportunity mongrel. 00:02:37.515 --> 00:02:40.576 I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill. 00:02:40.576 --> 00:02:45.054 Medication can help some and others might need a different approach altogether. 00:02:45.054 --> 00:02:49.705 I also learnt that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you, 00:02:49.705 --> 00:02:51.955 can be an absolute game changer. 00:02:52.716 --> 00:02:58.224 Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of the black dog and I taught him a few new tricks of my own. 00:03:00.995 --> 00:03:03.043 The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks, 00:03:03.043 --> 00:03:06.044 so it’s important to learn how to quiet your mind. 00:03:06.676 --> 00:03:09.186 It’s been clinically proven that regular exercise 00:03:09.186 --> 00:03:13.096 can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressants. 00:03:13.096 --> 00:03:16.405 So go for a walk or a run and leave the mutt behind. 00:03:16.405 --> 00:03:20.815 Keep a mood journal; getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful 00:03:21.205 --> 00:03:24.525 Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for. 00:03:25.125 --> 00:03:29.135 The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets… 00:03:29.135 --> 00:03:35.134 if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass. 00:03:35.134 --> 00:03:39.275 I wouldn’t say that I’m grateful for the black dog but he has been an incredible teacher. 00:03:39.275 --> 00:03:42.335 He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life. 00:03:42.335 --> 00:03:46.948 I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it’s better to embrace them. 00:03:46.948 --> 00:03:49.746 The black dog may always be part of my life 00:03:49.746 --> 00:03:52.205 but he will never be the beast that he was. 00:03:52.205 --> 00:03:54.356 We have an understanding. 00:03:54.356 --> 00:03:57.994 I’ve learnt through knowledge, patience, discipline and humour 00:03:57.994 --> 00:04:00.634 the worst black dog can be made to heel. 00:04:00.634 --> 00:04:03.722 If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help. 00:04:03.967 --> 00:04:06.237 There is absolutely no shame in doing so 00:04:06.264 --> 00:04:09.263 the only shame is missing out on life.