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I had a black dog. His name was depression.

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Whenever the black dog made an appearance,

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I felt empty and life seemed to slow down.

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He could surprise me with a visit for no reason or occasion.

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When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog

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The black dog made me look and feel older than my years.

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Activities that usually brought me pleasure, suddenly ceased to.

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He liked to ruin my appetite.

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He chewed up my memory and [br]my ability to concentrate.

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Doing anything or going anywhere with the black dog required super human strength.

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At social occasions, he would sniff out what confidence I had

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and chase it away.

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My biggest fear was being found out.

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I worried that people would judge me.

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Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog I was constantly worried that I would be found out.

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So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up.

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Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting

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Black dog could make me think and say negative things.

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He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.

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He would take my love and bury my intimacy.

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He loved nothing more than to wake me up with highly repetitive and negative thinking.

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He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.

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Having a black dog in your life isn’t so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue...

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at its worst it’s about being devoid of feeling altogether.

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As I got older the black dog got bigger

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and he started hanging around all the time.

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I’d chase him off with whatever I thought might send him running.

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But more often than not he’d come out on top

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going down became easier than getting up again.

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So I became rather good at self medication...

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which never really helped.

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Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone.

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The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life.

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When you lose all joy in life you can begin to question what the point of it is.

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Thankfully this was the time that I sought professional help.

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This was my first step towards recovery and a major turning point in my life

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I learnt that it doesn’t matter who you are

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the black dog affects millions and millions of people;

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it is an equal opportunity mongrel.

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I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill.

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Medication can help some and others might need a different approach altogether.

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I also learnt that being emotionally genuine and authentic to those who are close to you,

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can be an absolute game changer.

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Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of the black dog and I taught him a few new tricks of my own.

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The more tired and stressed you are the louder he barks,

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so it’s important to learn how to quiet your mind.

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It’s been clinically proven that regular exercise

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can be as effective for treating mild to moderate depression as antidepressants.

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So go for a walk or a run and leave the mutt behind.

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Keep a mood journal; getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful

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Also keep track of the things that you have to be grateful for.

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The most important thing to remember is that no matter how bad it gets…

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if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass.

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I wouldn’t say that I’m grateful for the black dog but he has been an incredible teacher.

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He forced me to re-evaluate and simplify my life.

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I learnt that rather than running away from my problems it’s better to embrace them.

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The black dog may always be part of my life

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but he will never be the beast that he was.

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We have an understanding.

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I’ve learnt through knowledge, patience, discipline and humour

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the worst black dog can be made to heel.

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If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help.

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There is absolutely no shame in doing so

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the only shame is missing out on life.