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Demak, biz shu yerdamiz.

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Men uydaman, aminmanki, sizlarning
ko'pchiligingiz ham uydasiz.

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Biz hammamiz tushunishni boshladik

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qanday qilib bir-birimizga

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bo'lgan aloqalarimiz

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va biz yashaydigan joylar

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o'ziga xoslik hissimiz va maqsadimizga 
qanchalik ta'sir qilishini.

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Ko'p narsa keskin o'zgardi.

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Hozirda har qachongidan ko'ra
biz bir-birimizdan uzoqmiz.

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Lekin men sizga aytsam

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yuragingizdan qo'lingizgacha 
bo'lgan yo'lni topa olasiz

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qayta bog'lanish uchun.

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Bu esa amaliyot orqali bo'ladi,
borliqni qabul qilgan holda.

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Sizga o'y-xayolingizni qayta ishga 
tushirishga yordam beraman

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bu yangi reallikni zavq,

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ishtiyoq, tasavvur va umid bilan 
qaytadan kashf qilishga.

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Buning uchun bor yog'i qalam kerak,

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sizga yo'l ko'rsatish uchun.

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Boshidan boshlasam,

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Bolaligim janubiy Londondagi 
nohiyada o'tgan.

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Men boshqacha edim.

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Olti farzandning to'ng'ichi edim,

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barchalarini qiyofasi
haqiqiy inglizcha edi:

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malla soch, ko'k ko'zlar, juda yoqimli.

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Buyoqda esa men:

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yarim nigeriyalik, jigarrang, 
va jingalak sochli.

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Agar boshqacha ko'rinsangiz
nima bo'ladi?

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Boshqacha his qilsangiz,

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ko'plab hollarda,
boshqacha o'ylasangiz,

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atrofdagi hammadan ajralib tursangiz.

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Qanday qilib qorong'ulik, irqchillik, 
gomofoblik, yolg'izlikdan chiqib,

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o'z yo'lingizni topishingiz mumkin?

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Shu joyida qalam yordamga keladi.

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Men chizishni boshladim.

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Ko'rib turganingizdek, menda bu qalam bor

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va u o'z manzilini biladi.

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Men esa unga qanday 
ergashishni juda yaxshi bilaman.

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Birinchi qilgan ishim, 
chiziq ortidan ergashdim,

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va men o'zimni menga ishonmagan

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ushbu 
madaniyatdan xalos qildim.

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Men qalamimga ishondim

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va u meni 
Sentral Saint Martinz ga yetakladi,

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Londondagi ajoyib san'at maktabi.

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va ayni yoshlik chog'imda bitirdim.

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Lekin, shuni angladimki 
men uchun Londonda joy yo'q edi,

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chunki, xoh ishoning, xoh ishonmang

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Angliya haligacha sinf tizimi 
chuqur ildiz otgan

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mamlakatdir.

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Ishchi oiladan bo'lgan, yosh, qora tanli, 
gey rassom ayol sifatida,

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Menda imkoniyat yo'q edi.

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Shuning uchun men Londonni tark etib,
Yaponiyaga yo'l oldim.

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U yerda meni qayerdan ekanligimning
ahamiyati yo'q edi.

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Men shunchaki bir "gaijin" edim,

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u "boshqacha" degan ma'noni
bildiradi.

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Odamlar yaratuvchanlik va hunarni
e'zozlaydigan madaniyatga singib ketdim.

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U yerda odamlar hunarini 
avlodlar davomida sayqallashtiradi.

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Bu madaniyat ham joyning, ham vaqtning 
qadriga yetadi,

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shuning uchun rassomlar
erkinlik bilan ijod qila olishadi.

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Shu tarzda men bir joyni kashf qildim.

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Tokioda umuman yomonlik ko'rmadim.

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ijod qilish uchun g'azab

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yoki og'riq endi menda yo'q edi.

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Men o'zimga boshqa joydan ijod qilishga 
izn berdim

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va men ushbu ajoyib narsani topdim

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qog'ozdagi chiziqlardan chiqib ketishni.

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Men shu narsani topdim

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va u boshimni yuragimga,

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qo'limni esa hamma narsaga bog'ladi.

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Men dunyoni o'zgacha nazar bilan 
ko'ra boshladim.

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Men burchaklarda bog'liqlikni topdim

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va o'zim oldin bilmagan 
muammolarga yechimlar topdim.

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bu xuddi shunday dunyoki, 
uning oq-qorasini

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shundoq ko'rish mumkin.

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Shunday ekan,

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boshqa qo'rquv qolmadi.

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Mening qalamim huddi fonusdek

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va ko'plab narsalar hali noma'lum edi,

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biroq bu qo'rqinchli emasdi.

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Besh yil Yaponiyada yashab, 
hunarimni rivojlantirganimdan keyin,

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Menga endi yangi cho'qqilar kerak edi,

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Keyin Nyu-Yorkka ketdim,

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chunki rassom sifatida
shunday qilish kerak edi,

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Dunyoning eng zo'r shahriga ko'chish,

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shunga imkon berardiki

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siz o'zingizni butunlay
ko'rinmasdek his qilasiz.

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Mana shu payt men o'zimdan
so'ray boshladim,

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"Sen kimsan o'zi?"

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Tongda uyg'onib, 
kunimni boshlashdan oldin,

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Shu haqida chuqur o'ylardim.

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Shu hayol bilan

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chizishni davom ettirdim.

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Men chiziq ortidan ergashdim

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va qalamim yo'l boshladi.

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Qalamni olishga

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hammaning imkoni bor.

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Men shunchaki o'zimni bo'sh qo'yardim,

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barcha o'y-xayol, qo'rquv,
xatarlardan halos etib.

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Yo'limda uchragan har narsa,

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o'zligimga halaqit beradigan narsalar

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o'ziga xos erkinlikni 
his qilishimimga olib keldi.

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Nyu-Yorkka kelganimda,

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Men san'at qoidalariga 
rioya qilishni istamadim.

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Men o'zimning boshqacha bo'lgan 
san'atimni davom ettirdim

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va chizishda davom etdim.

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Qiziquvchanlik qalamim uchun 
siyoh bo'ldi

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va men chuqurroq shug'ullana boshladim.

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Vaqt o'tib, o'zimga yaxshigina, 
ishonchli bo'sh joy yaratdim,

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faqat meniki bo'lgan bo'sh joy.

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Boshida, bu shunchaki
yotoqxonam edi.

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Ammo o'sha yotoqxonam. 
"Nyu-York Tayms" da tugadi

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va kutilmaganda meni taniy boshlashdi

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o'zim yaratgan dunyo uchun.

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O'shandan beri,

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eng atoqli rassomlar 
bilan hamkorlik qilib, ijod qildim,

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institutlar bilan ham,

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Tayms Skverdagi ekranlardan tortib,

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Nyu-York shahri Baletigacha,
rassomchilik seriyalarida qatnashdim.

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U yerda men 
bir qator raqqoslar bilan gaplshdim.

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Ularning so'zlari va hikoyalari 
asos bo'lib xizmat qildi

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30 dan ortiq chizmalar 
va san'at asarlari uchun,

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Ular tomosha devorlari,

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derazalar va pollarni qoplagan edi,

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Uzoq vaqt davomida,

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Men o'y-xayol va she'riyat uchun
joy yaratishni xohladim.

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2019-yilda esa,

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Menga shunday qilishga 
imkon berildi,

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"Trast of Gavernors Ayland" tomonidan.

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Ular menga mukammal joy berishdi,

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sobiq harbiy ibodatxona ko'rinishidagi.

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"May oyi uyi" bilan tanishing.

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Tashqi tarafdagi rasmlar "Ayland" 
tarixidan ilhomlanib chizilgan.

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Siz ichkariga kirib, 
oyog'ingizni yechasiz

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va polda labirinit shaklidagi
rasmni ko'rasiz,

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u sizni o'zingizga olib boradi.

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Bu tinchlanishga bo'lgan chaqiriqdir

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va shu tarzda siz devorda 
so'zlarni ko'rinshingiz mumkin.

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"Donishmand bo'ling."

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"Kechasi tinch uxlang."

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"Daraxtlarni asraymiz."

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"Siz... ." "Siz... ."Biz... . "

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Bu so'zlar xuddi sizdan chiqayotgandek

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yoki sizga singib ketayotgandek.

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Men chizgan chizig'imga 
til bo'lishiga imkon berdim,

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xuddi hayot kabi ochilgan tilga o'xshab.

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Sukunat yuzaga kelganda,

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Men suhbatdan bog'liqlik izladim,

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Noqulaylikni yo'qotish uchun, 
savollar so'ragan holda.

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Chizish menga o'z qoidalarimni
yaratishni o'rgatdi.

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u meni ko'zimni ochdi,
nafaqat bor narsalarni ko'rishni,

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balki nima
bo'laolishini ham

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va darz ketgan tizimlar bo'lsa,

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biz yangilarini yaratamiz, ish beradigan 
va hammaga foydasi tegadiganini,

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ozchilikdan tanlagandan ko'ra.

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Chizish menga dunyo bilan 
qanday aloqa qilishni o'rgatdi

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va chizgan chiziqlarimni tilidan
shuni angladimki,

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eng muhumi tanilishda emas,

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balki biz boshqalarga
nima bera olishimzda

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va erkinlik orqali
ko'ra olish imkonida.

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Bu to'g'ridan-to'g'ri ma'nodamas,

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Chunki ko'z bila ko'rish,
ko'rishning bir tomonidir.

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Aytmoqchi bo'lganim, dunyoni
to'laligicha tajribada his qilishdir,

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yoki, yanada qiyin sinovlar paytida,

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xuddi biz bugun duch kelgan 
sinovdagidek.

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Men Shantell Martinman.

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Men rasm chizaman

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va men sizni qalam tutishga chaqiraman.

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U sizni qayerga yetaklashini ko'ring.

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(Musiqa)