1
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Demak, biz shu yerdamiz.

2
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:05,524
Men uydaman, aminmanki, sizlarning
ko'pchiligingiz ham uydasiz.

3
00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,633
Biz hammamiz tushunishni boshladik

4
00:00:07,657 --> 00:00:09,712
qanday qilib bir-birimizga

5
00:00:09,736 --> 00:00:10,903
bo'lgan aloqalarimiz

6
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,224
va biz yashaydigan joylar

7
00:00:12,248 --> 00:00:15,669
o'ziga xoslik hissimiz va maqsadimizga 
qanchalik ta'sir qilishini.

8
00:00:15,693 --> 00:00:18,542
Ko'p narsa keskin o'zgardi.

9
00:00:18,566 --> 00:00:21,936
Hozirda har qachongidan ko'ra
biz bir-birimizdan uzoqmiz.

10
00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:23,516
Lekin men sizga aytsam

11
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yuragingizdan qo'lingizgacha 
bo'lgan yo'lni topa olasiz

12
00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:29,829
qayta bog'lanish uchun.

13
00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:33,861
Bu esa amaliyot orqali bo'ladi,
borliqni qabul qilgan holda.

14
00:00:33,885 --> 00:00:36,879
Sizga o'y-xayolingizni qayta ishga 
tushirishga yordam beraman

15
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:40,379
bu yangi reallikni zavq,

16
00:00:40,403 --> 00:00:44,026
ishtiyoq, tasavvur va umid bilan 
qaytadan kashf qilishga.

17
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:46,804
Buning uchun bor yog'i qalam kerak,

18
00:00:47,582 --> 00:00:48,916
sizga yo'l ko'rsatish uchun.

19
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:50,709
Boshidan boshlasam,

20
00:00:50,733 --> 00:00:54,403
Bolaligim janubiy Londondagi 
nohiyada o'tgan.

21
00:00:54,427 --> 00:00:55,982
Men boshqacha edim.

22
00:00:56,006 --> 00:00:57,816
Olti farzandning to'ng'ichi edim,

23
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,998
barchalarini qiyofasi
haqiqiy inglizcha edi:

24
00:01:00,022 --> 00:01:02,553
malla soch, ko'k ko'zlar, juda yoqimli.

25
00:01:02,577 --> 00:01:03,777
Buyoqda esa men:

26
00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:06,984
yarim nigeriyalik, jigarrang, 
va jingalak sochli.

27
00:01:07,339 --> 00:01:10,077
Agar boshqacha ko'rinsangiz
nima bo'ladi?

28
00:01:10,101 --> 00:01:11,514
Boshqacha his qilsangiz,

29
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:13,709
ko'plab hollarda,
boshqacha o'ylasangiz,

30
00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:16,966
atrofdagi hammadan ajralib tursangiz.

31
00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:22,354
Qanday qilib qorong'ulik, irqchillik, 
gomofoblik, yolg'izlikdan chiqib,

32
00:01:22,378 --> 00:01:24,331
o'z yo'lingizni topishingiz mumkin?

33
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:26,423
Shu joyida qalam yordamga keladi.

34
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:28,450
Men chizishni boshladim.

35
00:01:28,474 --> 00:01:30,545
Ko'rib turganingizdek, menda bu qalam bor

36
00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:32,180
va u o'z manzilini biladi.

37
00:01:32,204 --> 00:01:34,799
Men esa unga qanday 
ergashishni juda yaxshi bilaman.

38
00:01:34,823 --> 00:01:38,125
Birinchi qilgan ishim, 
chiziq ortidan ergashdim,

39
00:01:38,149 --> 00:01:40,899
va men o'zimni menga ishonmagan

40
00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:43,603
ushbu 
madaniyatdan xalos qildim.

41
00:01:43,944 --> 00:01:45,804
Men qalamimga ishondim

42
00:01:45,828 --> 00:01:48,569
va u meni 
Sentral Saint Martinz ga yetakladi,

43
00:01:48,593 --> 00:01:50,815
Londondagi ajoyib san'at maktabi.

44
00:01:50,839 --> 00:01:53,362
va ayni yoshlik chog'imda bitirdim.

45
00:01:53,386 --> 00:01:57,463
Lekin, shuni angladimki 
men uchun Londonda joy yo'q edi,

46
00:01:57,487 --> 00:02:00,133
chunki, xoh ishoning, xoh ishonmang

47
00:02:00,157 --> 00:02:03,519
Angliya haligacha sinf tizimi 
chuqur ildiz otgan

48
00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:04,704
mamlakatdir.

49
00:02:04,728 --> 00:02:10,671
Ishchi oiladan bo'lgan, yosh, qora tanli, 
gey rassom ayol sifatida,

50
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,425
Menda imkoniyat yo'q edi.

51
00:02:12,449 --> 00:02:15,283
Shuning uchun men Londonni tark etib,
Yaponiyaga yo'l oldim.

52
00:02:15,307 --> 00:02:19,276
U yerda meni qayerdan ekanligimning
ahamiyati yo'q edi.

53
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,251
Men shunchaki bir "gaijin" edim,

54
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,206
u "boshqacha" degan ma'noni
bildiradi.

55
00:02:24,606 --> 00:02:28,669
Odamlar yaratuvchanlik va hunarni
e'zozlaydigan madaniyatga singib ketdim.

56
00:02:28,693 --> 00:02:31,879
U yerda odamlar hunarini 
avlodlar davomida sayqallashtiradi.

57
00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:34,910
Bu madaniyat ham joyning, ham vaqtning 
qadriga yetadi,

58
00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:37,826
shuning uchun rassomlar
erkinlik bilan ijod qila olishadi.

59
00:02:38,282 --> 00:02:41,813
Shu tarzda men bir joyni kashf qildim.

60
00:02:42,155 --> 00:02:44,369
Tokioda umuman yomonlik ko'rmadim.

61
00:02:44,393 --> 00:02:46,903
ijod qilish uchun g'azab

62
00:02:46,927 --> 00:02:48,465
yoki og'riq endi menda yo'q edi.

63
00:02:48,489 --> 00:02:52,253
Men o'zimga boshqa joydan ijod qilishga 
izn berdim

64
00:02:52,812 --> 00:02:55,693
va men ushbu ajoyib narsani topdim

65
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,672
qog'ozdagi chiziqlardan chiqib ketishni.

66
00:02:58,696 --> 00:03:00,070
Men shu narsani topdim

67
00:03:00,094 --> 00:03:02,807
va u boshimni yuragimga,

68
00:03:02,831 --> 00:03:04,831
qo'limni esa hamma narsaga bog'ladi.

69
00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:08,066
Men dunyoni o'zgacha nazar bilan 
ko'ra boshladim.

70
00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:09,979
Men burchaklarda bog'liqlikni topdim

71
00:03:10,003 --> 00:03:12,966
va o'zim oldin bilmagan 
muammolarga yechimlar topdim.

72
00:03:12,990 --> 00:03:16,252
bu xuddi shunday dunyoki, 
uning oq-qorasini

73
00:03:16,276 --> 00:03:17,915
shundoq ko'rish mumkin.

74
00:03:17,939 --> 00:03:19,371
Shunday ekan,

75
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boshqa qo'rquv qolmadi.

76
00:03:21,307 --> 00:03:23,569
Mening qalamim huddi fonusdek

77
00:03:23,593 --> 00:03:26,053
va ko'plab narsalar hali noma'lum edi,

78
00:03:26,077 --> 00:03:27,467
biroq bu qo'rqinchli emasdi.

79
00:03:27,861 --> 00:03:31,926
Besh yil Yaponiyada yashab, 
hunarimni rivojlantirganimdan keyin,

80
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,400
Menga endi yangi cho'qqilar kerak edi,

81
00:03:34,903 --> 00:03:36,110
Keyin Nyu-Yorkka ketdim,

82
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:38,379
chunki rassom sifatida
shunday qilish kerak edi,

83
00:03:38,403 --> 00:03:40,394
Dunyoning eng zo'r shahriga ko'chish,

84
00:03:40,418 --> 00:03:41,642
shunga imkon berardiki

85
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:45,873
siz o'zingizni butunlay
ko'rinmasdek his qilasiz.

86
00:03:46,788 --> 00:03:49,882
Mana shu payt men o'zimdan
so'ray boshladim,

87
00:03:49,906 --> 00:03:52,255
"Sen kimsan o'zi?"

88
00:03:52,279 --> 00:03:55,288
Tongda uyg'onib, 
kunimni boshlashdan oldin,

89
00:03:55,312 --> 00:03:57,006
Shu haqida chuqur o'ylardim.

90
00:03:57,030 --> 00:03:58,991
Shu hayol bilan

91
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chizishni davom ettirdim.

92
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:02,124
Men chiziq ortidan ergashdim

93
00:04:02,148 --> 00:04:03,791
va qalamim yo'l boshladi.

94
00:04:03,815 --> 00:04:05,995
Qalamni olishga

95
00:04:06,019 --> 00:04:08,653
hammaning imkoni bor.

96
00:04:08,677 --> 00:04:12,077
Men shunchaki o'zimni bo'sh qo'yardim,

97
00:04:12,101 --> 00:04:16,014
barcha o'y-xayol, qo'rquv,
xatarlardan halos etib.

98
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,688
Yo'limda uchragan har narsa,

99
00:04:17,712 --> 00:04:20,490
o'zligimga halaqit beradigan narsalar

100
00:04:20,514 --> 00:04:23,726
o'ziga xos erkinlikni 
his qilishimimga olib keldi.

101
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,361
Nyu-Yorkka kelganimda,

102
00:04:25,385 --> 00:04:28,090
Men san'at qoidalariga 
rioya qilishni istamadim.

103
00:04:28,114 --> 00:04:31,288
Men o'zimning boshqacha bo'lgan 
san'atimni davom ettirdim

104
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,796
va chizishda davom etdim.

105
00:04:33,249 --> 00:04:36,069
Qiziquvchanlik qalamim uchun 
siyoh bo'ldi

106
00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:38,355
va men chuqurroq shug'ullana boshladim.

107
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:42,829
Vaqt o'tib, o'zimga yaxshigina, 
ishonchli bo'sh joy yaratdim,

108
00:04:42,853 --> 00:04:44,909
faqat meniki bo'lgan bo'sh joy.

109
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:47,274
Boshida, bu shunchaki
yotoqxonam edi.

110
00:04:47,298 --> 00:04:50,320
Ammo o'sha yotoqxonam. 
"Nyu-York Tayms" da tugadi

111
00:04:50,344 --> 00:04:53,222
va kutilmaganda meni taniy boshlashdi

112
00:04:53,246 --> 00:04:55,246
o'zim yaratgan dunyo uchun.

113
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,213
O'shandan beri,

114
00:04:57,237 --> 00:05:00,744
eng atoqli rassomlar 
bilan hamkorlik qilib, ijod qildim,

115
00:05:00,768 --> 00:05:02,655
institutlar bilan ham,

116
00:05:02,679 --> 00:05:04,855
Tayms Skverdagi ekranlardan tortib,

117
00:05:04,879 --> 00:05:08,934
Nyu-York shahri Baletigacha,
rassomchilik seriyalarida qatnashdim.

118
00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:11,434
U yerda men 
bir qator raqqoslar bilan gaplshdim.

119
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:14,181
Ularning so'zlari va hikoyalari 
asos bo'lib xizmat qildi

120
00:05:14,205 --> 00:05:16,950
30 dan ortiq chizmalar 
va san'at asarlari uchun,

121
00:05:16,974 --> 00:05:19,268
Ular tomosha devorlari,

122
00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:21,467
derazalar va pollarni qoplagan edi,

123
00:05:22,249 --> 00:05:23,495
Uzoq vaqt davomida,

124
00:05:23,519 --> 00:05:26,725
Men o'y-xayol va she'riyat uchun
joy yaratishni xohladim.

125
00:05:26,749 --> 00:05:28,029
2019-yilda esa,

126
00:05:28,053 --> 00:05:30,363
Menga shunday qilishga 
imkon berildi,

127
00:05:30,387 --> 00:05:32,198
"Trast of Gavernors Ayland" tomonidan.

128
00:05:32,585 --> 00:05:35,085
Ular menga mukammal joy berishdi,

129
00:05:35,109 --> 00:05:37,577
sobiq harbiy ibodatxona ko'rinishidagi.

130
00:05:37,601 --> 00:05:39,349
"May oyi uyi" bilan tanishing.

131
00:05:39,792 --> 00:05:43,926
Tashqi tarafdagi rasmlar "Ayland" 
tarixidan ilhomlanib chizilgan.

132
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:46,601
Siz ichkariga kirib, 
oyog'ingizni yechasiz

133
00:05:46,625 --> 00:05:49,395
va polda labirinit shaklidagi
rasmni ko'rasiz,

134
00:05:49,419 --> 00:05:50,990
u sizni o'zingizga olib boradi.

135
00:05:51,014 --> 00:05:53,585
Bu tinchlanishga bo'lgan chaqiriqdir

136
00:05:53,609 --> 00:05:57,222
va shu tarzda siz devorda 
so'zlarni ko'rinshingiz mumkin.

137
00:05:57,246 --> 00:05:58,968
"Donishmand bo'ling."

138
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,066
"Kechasi tinch uxlang."

139
00:06:01,090 --> 00:06:03,275
"Daraxtlarni asraymiz."

140
00:06:03,299 --> 00:06:05,826
"Siz... ." "Siz... ."Biz... . "

141
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:08,934
Bu so'zlar xuddi sizdan chiqayotgandek

142
00:06:08,958 --> 00:06:10,598
yoki sizga singib ketayotgandek.

143
00:06:12,074 --> 00:06:14,749
Men chizgan chizig'imga 
til bo'lishiga imkon berdim,

144
00:06:14,773 --> 00:06:17,471
xuddi hayot kabi ochilgan tilga o'xshab.

145
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:19,034
Sukunat yuzaga kelganda,

146
00:06:19,058 --> 00:06:21,609
Men suhbatdan bog'liqlik izladim,

147
00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:24,353
Noqulaylikni yo'qotish uchun, 
savollar so'ragan holda.

148
00:06:24,377 --> 00:06:27,467
Chizish menga o'z qoidalarimni
yaratishni o'rgatdi.

149
00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:31,822
u meni ko'zimni ochdi,
nafaqat bor narsalarni ko'rishni,

150
00:06:31,846 --> 00:06:33,160
balki nima
bo'laolishini ham

151
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,715
va darz ketgan tizimlar bo'lsa,

152
00:06:35,739 --> 00:06:40,656
biz yangilarini yaratamiz, ish beradigan 
va hammaga foydasi tegadiganini,

153
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,680
ozchilikdan tanlagandan ko'ra.

154
00:06:43,046 --> 00:06:45,939
Chizish menga dunyo bilan 
qanday aloqa qilishni o'rgatdi

155
00:06:46,288 --> 00:06:49,820
va chizgan chiziqlarimni tilidan
shuni angladimki,

156
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,383
eng muhumi tanilishda emas,

157
00:06:52,407 --> 00:06:55,493
balki biz boshqalarga
nima bera olishimzda

158
00:06:55,517 --> 00:06:59,223
va erkinlik orqali
ko'ra olish imkonida.

159
00:06:59,247 --> 00:07:00,856
Bu to'g'ridan-to'g'ri ma'nodamas,

160
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,222
Chunki ko'z bila ko'rish,
ko'rishning bir tomonidir.

161
00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:07,934
Aytmoqchi bo'lganim, dunyoni
to'laligicha tajribada his qilishdir,

162
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:11,466
yoki, yanada qiyin sinovlar paytida,

163
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,693
xuddi biz bugun duch kelgan 
sinovdagidek.

164
00:07:13,717 --> 00:07:15,096
Men Shantell Martinman.

165
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,271
Men rasm chizaman

166
00:07:16,295 --> 00:07:18,212
va men sizni qalam tutishga chaqiraman.

167
00:07:18,236 --> 00:07:20,188
U sizni qayerga yetaklashini ko'ring.

168
00:07:20,212 --> 00:07:23,071
(Musiqa)