1
00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:04,776
Today I stand before you
as a man who lives life to the full

2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,040
in the here and now.

3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,936
But for a long time,

4
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,160
I lived for death.

5
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:13,536
I was a young man who believed

6
00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:18,120
that jihad is to be understood
in the language of force and violence.

7
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,000
I tried to right wrongs
through power and aggression.

8
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,880
I had deep concerns
for the suffering of others

9
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,000
and a strong desire
to help and bring relief to them.

10
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,456
I thought violent jihad was noble,

11
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:41,816
chivalrous

12
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:43,160
and the best way to help.

13
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,536
At a time when so many of our people --

14
00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:48,816
young people especially --

15
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,400
are at risk of radicalization

16
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,096
through groups like al-Qaeda,

17
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,960
Islamic State and others,

18
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,336
when these groups are claiming

19
00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:02,416
that their horrific brutality
and violence are true jihad,

20
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,616
I want to say that their idea
of jihad is wrong --

21
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:07,976
completely wrong --

22
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,200
as was mine, then.

23
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,560
Jihad means to strive to one's utmost.

24
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,456
It includes exertion and spirituality,

25
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,976
self-purification

26
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,200
and devotion.

27
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,256
It refers to positive transformation

28
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:29,376
through learning, wisdom
and remembrance of God.

29
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:32,640
The word jihad stands
for all those meanings as a whole.

30
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:39,336
Jihad may at times
take the form of fighting,

31
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,560
but only sometimes,

32
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,920
under strict conditions,

33
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,160
within rules and limits.

34
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,056
In Islam,

35
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:54,080
the benefit of an act must outweigh
the harm or hardship it entails.

36
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,976
More importantly,

37
00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:01,736
the verses in the Koran
that are connected to jihad or fighting

38
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:07,336
do not cancel out the verses
that talk about forgiveness,

39
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:08,656
benevolence

40
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:09,880
or patience.

41
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,896
But now I believe that there are
no circumstances on earth

42
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,496
where violent jihad is permissible,

43
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,200
because it will lead to greater harm.

44
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,296
But now the idea of jihad
has been hijacked.

45
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,656
It has been perverted
to mean violent struggle

46
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,656
wherever Muslims
are undergoing difficulties,

47
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,576
and turned into terrorism

48
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,656
by fascistic Islamists like al-Qaeda,

49
00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,240
Islamic State and others.

50
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:44,256
But I have come to understand

51
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:48,216
that true jihad
means striving to the utmost

52
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:51,600
to strengthen and live
those qualities which God loves:

53
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,776
honesty, trustworthiness,

54
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,896
compassion, benevolence,

55
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,816
reliability, respect,

56
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,216
truthfulness --

57
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,360
human values that so many of us share.

58
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,216
I was born in Bangladesh,

59
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,669
but grew up mostly in England.

60
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,719
And I went to school here.

61
00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,776
My father was an academic,

62
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,880
and we were in the UK through his work.

63
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:22,840
In 1971 we were in Bangladesh
when everything changed.

64
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,776
The War of Independence
impacted upon us terribly,

65
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,656
pitting family against family,

66
00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,376
neighbor against neighbor.

67
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,256
And at the age of 12 I experienced war,

68
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,880
destitution in my family,

69
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,960
the deaths of 22
of my relatives in horrible ways,

70
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,760
as well as the murder of my elder brother.

71
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:48,800
I witnessed killing ...

72
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,816
animals feeding on corpses in the streets,

73
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,576
starvation all around me,

74
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,736
wanton, horrific violence --

75
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:58,960
senseless violence.

76
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,016
I was a young man,

77
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,976
teenager, fascinated by ideas.

78
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,816
I wanted to learn,

79
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,888
but I could not go to school
for four years.

80
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,216
After the War of Independence,

81
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,720
my father was put in prison
for two and a half years,

82
00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,360
and I used to visit him
every week in prison,

83
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:22,600
and homeschooled myself.

84
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,640
My father was released in 1973

85
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:30,096
and he fled to England as a refugee,

86
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,360
and we soon followed him.

87
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,376
I was 17.

88
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,856
So these experiences gave me

89
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,680
a sharp awareness of the atrocities
and injustices in the world.

90
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,136
And I had a strong desire --

91
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:46,176
a very keen, deep desire --

92
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:47,416
to right wrongs

93
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,107
and help the victims of oppression.

94
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,536
While studying at college in the UK,

95
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:58,040
I met others who showed me
how I could channel that desire

96
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,440
and help through my religion.

97
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,016
And I was radicalized --

98
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,480
enough to consider violence correct,

99
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,000
even a virtue under certain circumstances.

100
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:15,536
So I became involved
in the jihad in Afghanistan.

101
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:20,120
I wanted to protect the Muslim Afghan
population against the Soviet army.

102
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,336
And I thought that was jihad:

103
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,856
my sacred duty,

104
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,600
which would be rewarded by God.

105
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,880
I became a preacher.

106
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:41,056
I was one of the pioneers
of violent jihad in the UK.

107
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:42,576
I recruited,

108
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,280
I raised funds, I trained.

109
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,896
I confused true jihad

110
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:51,920
with this perversion
as presented by the fascist Islamists --

111
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,736
these people who use the idea of jihad

112
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,640
to justify their lust for power,
authority and control on us:

113
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:06,056
a perversion perpetuated today
by fascist Islamist groups

114
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,960
like al-Qaeda, Islamic State and others.

115
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,280
For a period of around 15 years,

116
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:17,280
I fought for short periods of time

117
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,976
in Kashmir and Burma,

118
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,320
besides Afghanistan.

119
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,720
Our aim was to remove the invaders,

120
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,840
to bring relief to the oppressed victims

121
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:36,016
and of course to establish
an Islamic state,

122
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,760
a caliphate for God's rule.

123
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,920
And I did this openly.

124
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,760
I didn't break any laws.

125
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,536
I was proud and grateful to be British --

126
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,136
I still am.

127
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,800
And I bore no hostility
against this, my country,

128
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,496
nor enmity towards
the non-Muslim citizens,

129
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,920
and I still don't.

130
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,216
During one battle in Afghanistan,

131
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,120
some British men and I
formed a special bond

132
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,696
with a 15-year-old Afghani boy,

133
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:11,920
Abdullah,

134
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,176
an innocent, loving and lovable kid

135
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,240
who was always eager to please.

136
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,160
He was poor.

137
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,480
And boys like him
did menial tasks in the camp.

138
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:25,766
And he seemed happy enough,

139
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,896
but I couldn't help wonder --

140
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,825
his parents must have missed him dearly.

141
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:35,120
And they must have dreamt
about a better future for him.

142
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,376
A victim of circumstance
caught up in a war,

143
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,680
cruelly thrust upon him

144
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,960
by the cruel circumstances of the time.

145
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:53,400
One day I picked up this unexploded
mortar shell in a trench,

146
00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,120
and I had it deposited
in a makeshift mud hut lab.

147
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,216
And I went out on a short,
pointless skirmish --

148
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,440
always pointless,

149
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,880
And I came back a few hours later
to discover he was dead.

150
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,936
He had tried to recover
explosives from that shell.

151
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,560
It exploded, and he died a violent death,

152
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,720
blown to bits by the very same device
that had proved harmless to me.

153
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,600
So I started to question.

154
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:28,320
How did his death serve any purpose?

155
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:32,280
Why did he die and I lived?

156
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,056
I carried on.

157
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,696
I fought in Kashmir.

158
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,416
I also recruited for the Philippines,

159
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,240
Bosnia and Chechnya.

160
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:43,840
And the questions grew.

161
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,776
Later in Burma,

162
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:50,136
I came across Rohingya fighters,

163
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,416
who were barely teenagers,

164
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,096
born and brought up in the jungle,

165
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,180
carrying machine guns
and grenade launchers.

166
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,200
I met two 13-year-olds
with soft manners and gentle voices.

167
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,136
Looking at me,

168
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,240
they begged me
to take them away to England.

169
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,600
They simply wanted to go to school --

170
00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,000
that was their dream.

171
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:25,576
My family --

172
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:27,056
my children of the same age --

173
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,040
were living at home in the UK,

174
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:31,336
going to school,

175
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,560
living a safe life.

176
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,136
And I couldn't help wonder

177
00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:38,616
how much these young boys
must have spoken to one another

178
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:40,840
about their dreams for such a life.

179
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,840
Victims of circumstances:

180
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,640
these two young boys,

181
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,376
sleeping rough on the ground,
looking up at the stars,

182
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,896
cynically exploited by their leaders

183
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,400
for their personal lust
for glory and power.

184
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,136
I soon witnessed boys like them
killing one another

185
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,400
in conflicts between rival groups.

186
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,760
And it was the same everywhere ...

187
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,776
Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma,

188
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:13,280
Philippines, Chechnya;

189
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:18,856
petty warlords got the young
and vulnerable to kill one another

190
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,200
in the name of jihad.

191
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,080
Muslims against Muslims.

192
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:30,016
Not protecting anyone
against invaders or occupiers;

193
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,040
not bringing relief to the oppressed.

194
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:35,616
Children being used,

195
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,256
cynically exploited;

196
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,216
people dying in conflicts

197
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,280
which I was supporting
in the name of jihad.

198
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,560
And it still carries on today.

199
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:55,416
Realizing that the violent jihad

200
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,640
I had engaged in abroad

201
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,480
was so different --

202
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:10,016
such a chasm between
what I had experienced

203
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,840
and what I thought was sacred duty --

204
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,600
I had to reflect
on my activities here in the UK.

205
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,296
I had to consider my preaching,

206
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,856
recruiting, fund-raising,

207
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:23,456
training,

208
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,600
but most importantly, radicalizing --

209
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,856
sending young people to fight and die

210
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,096
as I was doing --

211
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,880
all totally wrong.

212
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:38,880
So I got involved
in violent jihad in the mid '80s,

213
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,440
starting with Afghanistan.

214
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,880
And by the time I finished
it was in the year 2000.

215
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,616
I was completely immersed in it.

216
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,576
All around me people supported,

217
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,816
applauded,

218
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,240
even celebrated what
we were doing in their name.

219
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:57,976
But by the time I learned to get out,

220
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,616
completely disillusioned in the year 2000,

221
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,320
15 years had passed.

222
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,440
So what goes wrong?

223
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,560
We were so busy talking about virtue,

224
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,320
and we were blinded by a cause.

225
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:24,520
And we did not give ourselves a chance
to develop a virtuous character.

226
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,816
We told ourselves
we were fighting for the oppressed,

227
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,040
but these were unwinnable wars.

228
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,336
We became the very instrument
through which more deaths occurred,

229
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,096
complicit in causing further misery

230
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,720
for the selfish benefit of the cruel few.

231
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,496
So over time,

232
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:54,720
a very long time,

233
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,800
I opened my eyes.

234
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,440
I began to dare

235
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,696
to face the truth,

236
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,920
to think,

237
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,496
to face the hard questions.

238
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,720
I got in touch with my soul.

239
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,400
What have I learned?

240
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:29,200
That people who engage
in violent jihadism,

241
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,560
that people who are drawn
to these types of extremisms,

242
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,800
are not that different to everyone else.

243
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,680
But I believe such people can change.

244
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,976
They can regain their hearts
and restore them

245
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:48,060
by filling them
with human values that heal.

246
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,216
When we ignore the realities,

247
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:03,000
we discover that we accept what
we are told without critical reflection.

248
00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,416
And we ignore the gifts and advantages
that many of us would cherish

249
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,720
even for a single moment in their lives.

250
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,760
I engaged in actions
I thought were correct.

251
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,760
But now I began to question
how I knew what I knew.

252
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:31,536
I endlessly told others
to accept the truth,

253
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:35,280
but I failed to give doubt
its rightful place.

254
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:45,776
This conviction that people can change
is rooted in my experience,

255
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,000
my own journey.

256
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,416
Through wide reading,

257
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,640
reflecting,

258
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,056
contemplation, self-knowledge,

259
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:55,296
I discovered,

260
00:14:55,320 --> 00:15:00,960
I realized that Islamists' world
of us and them is false and unjust.

261
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,480
Through considering the uncertainties
in all that we had asserted,

262
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,016
to the inviolable truths,

263
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,440
incontestable truths,

264
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,840
I developed a more nuanced understanding.

265
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:28,960
I realized that in a world crowded
with variation and contradiction,

266
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,136
foolish preachers,

267
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,176
only foolish preachers
like I used to be,

268
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:39,560
see no paradox in the myths and fictions
they use to assert authenticity.

269
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:45,656
So I understood the vital
importance of self-knowledge,

270
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,880
political awareness

271
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:52,656
and the necessity
for a deep and wide understanding

272
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,136
of our commitments and our actions,

273
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,480
how they affect others.

274
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,976
So my plea today to everyone,

275
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:04,480
especially those who sincerely
believe in Islamist jihadism ...

276
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,880
refuse dogmatic authority;

277
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:14,040
let go of anger, hatred and violence;

278
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,776
learn to right wrongs

279
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:21,870
without even attempting to justify
cruel, unjust and futile behavior.

280
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,176
Instead create a few
beautiful and useful things

281
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,400
that outlive us.

282
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,056
Approach the world, life,

283
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,280
with love.

284
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,216
Learn to develop

285
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:40,496
or cultivate your hearts

286
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,880
to see goodness, beauty and truth
in others and in the world.

287
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,520
That way we do matter
more to ourselves ...

288
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,440
to each other,

289
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,376
to our communities

290
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,880
and, for me, to God.

291
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,616
This is jihad --

292
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,840
my true jihad.

293
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,136
Thank you.

294
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,600
(Applause)