0:00:01.010,0:00:04.984
Today I stand before you[br]as a man who lives life to the full

0:00:04.984,0:00:06.569
in the here and now.

0:00:07.466,0:00:09.196
But for a long time,

0:00:09.196,0:00:10.834
I lived for death.

0:00:12.145,0:00:13.892
I was a young man who believed

0:00:13.892,0:00:18.546
that Jihad is to be understood[br]in the language for force and violence.

0:00:21.040,0:00:24.614
I tried to right wrongs[br]through power and aggression.

0:00:25.719,0:00:31.021
I had deep concerns[br]for the suffering of others

0:00:31.021,0:00:34.633
and a strong desire to help[br]and bring relief to them.

0:00:37.391,0:00:40.772
I thought violent Jihad was noble,

0:00:40.772,0:00:42.055
chivalrous

0:00:42.055,0:00:43.785
and the best way to help.

0:00:45.840,0:00:47.758
At a time when so many of our people --

0:00:47.758,0:00:49.022
young people especially --

0:00:49.022,0:00:51.739
are at risk of radicalization

0:00:51.739,0:00:53.586
through groups like Al-Qaeda,

0:00:53.586,0:00:54.618
Islamic State

0:00:54.618,0:00:56.241
and others,

0:00:56.241,0:00:57.727
when these groups are claiming

0:00:57.727,0:01:02.766
that their horrific brutality[br]and violence are true Jihad,

0:01:02.766,0:01:06.933
I want to say that their idea[br]of Jihad is wrong --

0:01:06.933,0:01:08.233
completely wrong --

0:01:08.233,0:01:10.335
as was mine, then.

0:01:11.518,0:01:14.782
Jihad means to strive to one's utmost.

0:01:14.782,0:01:17.802
It includes exertion and spirituality,

0:01:17.802,0:01:19.241
self-purification

0:01:19.241,0:01:21.001
and devotion.

0:01:22.684,0:01:25.555
It refers to positive transformation

0:01:25.555,0:01:29.701
through learning, wisdom[br]and remembrance of God.

0:01:29.701,0:01:33.892
The word Jihad stands for all[br]those meanings as a whole.

0:01:35.233,0:01:39.639
Jihad may at times take[br]the form of fighting,

0:01:39.639,0:01:41.574
but only sometimes,

0:01:41.574,0:01:44.462
under strict conditions,

0:01:44.462,0:01:46.983
within rules and limits.

0:01:48.085,0:01:49.092
In Islam,

0:01:49.092,0:01:54.444
the benefit of an act must outweigh[br]the harm or hardship it entails.

0:01:55.426,0:01:57.303
More importantly,

0:01:57.303,0:02:02.070
the verses in the Koran that are[br]connected to Jihad [of] fighting,

0:02:02.070,0:02:07.542
do not cancel out the verses[br]that talk about forgiveness,

0:02:07.542,0:02:08.954
benevolence,

0:02:08.954,0:02:10.712
or patience.

0:02:13.587,0:02:18.336
But now I believe that there are no[br]circumstances on Earth

0:02:18.336,0:02:20.916
where a violent Jihad is permissible,

0:02:20.916,0:02:24.315
because it will lead to greater harm.

0:02:25.919,0:02:28.648
But now the idea of Jihad[br]has been hijacked.

0:02:28.648,0:02:31.987
It has been perverted[br]to mean violent struggle

0:02:31.987,0:02:34.950
wherever Muslims[br]are undergoing difficulties,

0:02:34.950,0:02:36.883
and turned into terrorism

0:02:36.883,0:02:39.970
by fascistic Islamists like Al Qaeda,

0:02:39.970,0:02:40.971
Islamic State

0:02:40.971,0:02:42.264
and others.

0:02:42.586,0:02:44.468
But I have come to understand

0:02:44.468,0:02:48.516
that true Jihad means[br]striving to the utmost

0:02:48.516,0:02:52.633
to strengthen and live[br]those qualities which God loves:

0:02:52.633,0:02:53.628
honesty,

0:02:53.628,0:02:55.133
trustworthiness,

0:02:55.133,0:02:57.230
compassion, benevolence,

0:02:57.230,0:02:59.121
reliability, respect,

0:02:59.121,0:03:00.563
truthfulness --

0:03:00.563,0:03:04.353
human values that so many of us share.

0:03:06.584,0:03:08.516
I was born in Bangladesh,

0:03:08.516,0:03:10.695
but grew up mostly in England.

0:03:10.695,0:03:12.594
And I went to school here.

0:03:12.834,0:03:15.178
My father was an academic,

0:03:15.178,0:03:17.565
and we were in the UK through his work.

0:03:18.613,0:03:23.228
In 1971 we were in Bangladesh[br]when everything changed.

0:03:24.509,0:03:28.091
The War of Independence[br]impacted upon us terribly,

0:03:28.269,0:03:29.941
pitting family against family;

0:03:30.119,0:03:31.695
neighbor against neighbor.

0:03:31.924,0:03:34.630
And at the age of 12 I experience war,

0:03:34.824,0:03:37.043
destitution in my family,

0:03:37.253,0:03:41.239
the deaths of 22 of my[br]relatives in horrible ways,

0:03:41.398,0:03:45.145
as well as the murder of my elder brother.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I witnessed killing;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
animals feeding on corpses in the street;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
starvation all around me;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
wanton, horrific violence --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
senseless violence.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was a young man --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
teenager --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fascinated by ideas.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wanted to learn,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but I could not go to school[br]for four years.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
After the War of Independence,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my father was put in prison[br]for two-and-a-half years,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I used to visit him[br]every week in prison,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and homeschooled myself.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My father was released in 1973

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and he fled to England as a refugee,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we soon followed him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was 17.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So these experiences gave me

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a sharp awareness of the atrocities[br]and injustices in the world.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I had a strong desire --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a very keen, deep desire --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to right wrongs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and help the victims of oppression.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
While studying at college in the UK,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I met others who showed me[br]how I could channel that desire

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and help through my religion.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I was radicalized --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
enough to consider violence correct,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
even a virtue under certain circumstances.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I became involved[br]in the Jihad in Afghanistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I wanted to protect the Muslim [av gone][br]population against the Soviet army.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I thought that was Jihad:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my sacred duty,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
which would be rewarded by God.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I became a preacher.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was one of the pioneers[br]of violent Jihad in the UK.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I recruited,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I raised funds,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I trained.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I confused true Jihad with this perversion[br]as presented by the fascist Islamists --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
these people who use the idea of Jihad

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to justify their lust for power,[br]authority and control on us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A perversion perpetuated today[br]by fascist Islamic groups

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
like Al-Qaeda, Islamic State and others.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
For a period of around 15 years,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I fought for short periods of time[br]in Kasmir and Burma,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
besides Afghanistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Our aim was to remove the invaders;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to bring relief to the oppressed victims,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and of course to establish[br]an Islamic State,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a [califate] for God's rule.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I did this openly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I didn't break any laws.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was proud and grateful to be British --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I still am.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I bore no hostility[br]against this, my country,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
nor enmity towards[br]the non-Muslim citizens,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I still don't.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
During one batter in Afghanistan,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
some British men and I[br]formed a special bond

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with a 15-year-old Afghani boy,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Abdullah.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
An innocent, loving and lovable kid

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who was always eager to please.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He was poor.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And boys like him did[br]menial tasks in the camp.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And he seemed happy enough,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but I couldn't help wonder,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
his parents must have missed him dearly.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And they must have dreamt[br]about a better future for him.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
A victim of circumstance[br]caught up in a war,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
cruelly thrust upon him

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by the cruel circumstances of the time.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
One day I picked up this unexploded[br]mortar shell in a trench,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I had it deposited[br]in a makeshift mud hut lab.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I went out on a short,[br]pointless skirmish --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
always pointless --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and I came back a few hours later

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to discover he was dead.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
He had tried to recover[br]explosives from that shell.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It exploded and he died a violent death,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
blown to bit by the very same device[br]that had proved harmless to me.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I started to question.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
How did his death serve any purpose?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Why did he die and I lived?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I carried on.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I fought in Kashmir.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I also recruited from the Philipines,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Bosnia and Chechnya.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And the questions grew.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Later in Burma,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I came across [Rohinga] fighters,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who are barely teenagers,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
born and brought up in the jungle,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
carrying machine guns[br]and grenade launches.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I met two 13-year-olds with soft[br]manners and gentle voices,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
looking at me they begged me[br]to take them away to England.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They simply wanted to go to school.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That was their dream.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
My family --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my children were the same age --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
were living at home in the UK,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
going to school,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
living a safe life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And I couldn't help wonder

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how much these young boys must[br]have spoken to one another

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
about their dreams for such a life.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Victims of circumstances.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
These two young boys,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sleeping rough on the ground,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
looking up at the stars,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
cynically exploited by their leaders

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for their personal lust[br]for glory and power.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I soon witnessed boys like them[br]killing one another

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in conflicts between rival groups.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it was the same everywhere:

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Afghanistan, Kashmir, Burma,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Philipines, Chechnya;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
petty warlords got the young[br]and vulnerable to kill one another

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
in the name of Jihad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Muslims against Muslims.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Not protecting anyone against[br]invaders or occupiers,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
not bringing relief to the oppressed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Children being used,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
cynically exploited,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
people dying in conflicts which[br]I was supporting in the name of Jihad.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And it still carries on today.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Realizing that the violent Jihad[br]I had engaged in abroad

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
was so different,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
such a chasm between[br]what I had experienced

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and what I thought was sacred duty,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I had to reflect on my[br]activities here in the UK.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I had to consider my preaching,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
recruiting,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
fundraising,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
training,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but most importantly, radicalizing --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sending young people to fight and die

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
as I was doing all totally wrong.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I got involved in violent[br]Jihad in the mid-'80s,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
starting with Afghanistan.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And by the time I finished[br]it was the year 2000.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I was completely immersed in it.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
All around me people supported,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
applauded,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
even celebrated what[br]we were doing in their name.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But by the time I learned to get out,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
completely disillusioned in the year 2000,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
15 years had passed.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So what goes wrong?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We were so busy talking about virtue,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and we were blinded by a cause.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And we did not give ourselves a chance[br]to develop a virtuous character.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We told ourselves we were[br]fighting for the oppressed,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but these were un-winable wars.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
We became the very instrument[br]through which more deaths occurred,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
complicit in causing further misery

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
for the selfish benefit of the cruel few.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So over time --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a very long time --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I opened my eyes.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I began to dare to face the truth,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to think,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to face the hard questions.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I got in touch with my soul.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
What have I learned?

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That people who engage[br]in violent Jihadism,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that people who are drawn[br]to these types of extremisms,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
are not that different to everyone else.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But I believe such people can change.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
They can regain their hearts[br]and restore them

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
by filling them with human[br]values that heal.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When we ignore the realities,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
we discover that accept what we[br]are told without critical reflection.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I will ignore the gifts and advantages[br]that many of us would cherish

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
even for a single moment in their lives.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I engaged in actions[br]I thought were correct.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But now I began to question[br]how I knew what I knew.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I endlessly told others[br]to accept the truth,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but I failed to give[br]doubt its rightful place.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This conviction that people can change[br]is rooted in my experience,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my own journey.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Through wide reading,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
reflecting,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
contemplation,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
self-knowledge,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I discovered --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I realized that Islamists' world[br]of us and them is false and unjust.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Through considering the uncertainties[br]in all that we had asserted,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to the inviolable truths --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
incontestable truths --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I developed a more nuanced understanding.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I realized that in a world crowded[br]with variation and contradiction,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
foolish preachers --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
only foolish preachers[br]like I used to be --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
see no paradox in the myths and fictions[br]they use to assert authenticity.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So I understood the vital[br]importance of self-knowledge,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
politcal awareness

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and the necessity for a deep and wide[br]understanding of our committments

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and our actions,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how the effect others.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
So my plea today to everyone,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
especially those who sincerely[br]believe in Islamist Jihadism,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
refuse dogmatic authority;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
let go of anger, hatred and violence;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
learn to right wrongs

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
without even attempting to justify cruel,[br]unjust and futile behavior.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Instead create a few[br]beautiful and useful things

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
that outlive us.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Approach the world --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
life --

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
with love.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
[In all,] learn to develop,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or cultivate your hearts,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to see goodness, beauty and truth[br]in others and in the world.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
That way, we do matter more to ourselves;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to each other;

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to our communities,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and for me,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to God.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
This is Jihad --

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my true Jihad.

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Thank you.