[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.29,0:00:18.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Non so voi,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.58,0:00:21.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ma io sto cercando di ottenere\Nquel corpo da spiaggia,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.44,0:00:23.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quel P90X,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.38,0:00:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Brad Pitt,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.43,0:00:27.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bradley Cooper,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.40,0:00:29.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tyrese,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.43,0:00:31.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Trey Songz,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.91,0:00:34.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Matthew McConaughey.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.84,0:00:36.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Corpo scolpito!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.07,0:00:38.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cerco di sudare di fronte a chiunque.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.14,0:00:39.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Parola.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.12,0:00:42.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,E fare tutto il necessario \Nperché le labbra di Angelina Jolie
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.13,0:00:43.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,passino sul mio torso,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.55,0:00:45.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rendendomi cioccolato liquido.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.97,0:00:48.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Guardate i miei bicipiti.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.50,0:00:50.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sono gracili.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.53,0:00:52.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sono grandi.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.16,0:00:53.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ma ci sto lavorando.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.79,0:00:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Possiamo essere modelli.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.06,0:00:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Potrei togliermi la maglietta, così sexy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.66,0:00:59.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Potrei stare di fronte\Nalla telecamera
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.53,0:01:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,per 37 secondi senza battere le ciglia.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.40,0:01:03.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Potrei fare il bagno in olio per bimbi.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.30,0:01:05.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Correre in spiaggia \Nin slow motion.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.13,0:01:10.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Camminare come un gatto\Nsu una pista con pantaloni zebrati.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.47,0:01:12.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Io non posso.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.96,0:01:15.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Un metabolismo lento rovina tutto.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.07,0:01:16.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Tutti i miei amici saranno in canotta,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.93,0:01:17.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,e io col cappuccio.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.90,0:01:19.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sono bravo a comprimere le mie insicurezze
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.93,0:01:21.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pensando di poterle "sudare" via.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.56,0:01:23.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Provo a ottenere quel corpo da spiaggia!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.70,0:01:24.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sono troppo magro.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.80,0:01:27.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mangio come se la mia bocca fosse \Nuno scivolo per la spazzatura,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.86,0:01:30.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ma il mio intestino\Nè allergico ai grassi trans.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.39,0:01:32.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Voglio essere la gamba\Ndel cavallo, che si piega
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.72,0:01:35.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,per galoppare sulla sabbia\Nsopra un tappeto rosso
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.08,0:01:36.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,fatto apposta per me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.75,0:01:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,per pavoneggiarsi in spiaggia
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.22,0:01:40.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,come un centauro \Nsu un nastro trasportatore.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.35,0:01:42.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Provo a ottenere quel corpo da spiaggia,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.66,0:01:44.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ma c'è salvezza \Nnegli armadietti pieni di snack,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.97,0:01:46.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sui secondi piatti leccati,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.33,0:01:48.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sul fondo di una pinta di gelato.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.53,0:01:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uso Haagen Dazs come cilindro di morfina
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.40,0:01:55.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,perché lei mi ha detto che le mie braccia \Nnon sono così forti da portarla.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.27,0:01:56.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Credo di essere debole.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.87,0:01:58.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Credo di essere grasso.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.54,0:01:59.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Credo di essere brutto.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.83,0:02:02.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,La spiaggia non va bene \Nper una balena come me,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.07,0:02:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,per un mini van col serbatoio vuoto.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.88,0:02:06.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Voglio essere come in Baywatch,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.85,0:02:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rotto, scolpito, \Nhai visto i miei muscoli
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.56,0:02:12.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,e le mie cicatrici?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.30,0:02:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lo sentite?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.50,0:02:18.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,È odore di macho.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.50,0:02:20.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Il mio lungo allenamento\Nconsiste
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.74,0:02:23.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in 5 minuti di flessioni \Nsul pavimento della mia camera,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.31,0:02:25.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lo specchio smentisce\Nle mie membra dinoccolate;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.67,0:02:28.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,5 minuti a tenere il mento \Nsopra il livello di insicurezza;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.70,0:02:31.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,10 min a mettere 50 kg \Ndi fallimenti sul petto
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.18,0:02:33.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,così diventa l'elefante nella stanza;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.01,0:02:34.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,10 minuti di corsa con i fantasmi
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.50,0:02:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,che ridono delle mie grosse cosce,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.26,0:02:37.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,e io sorrido,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.18,0:02:40.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sapendo che presto riuscirò\Na infilare i miei vecchi pantaloni;
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.36,0:02:43.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,30 minuti a pensare che sudare \Nè una cosa virile.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.59,0:02:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,E diffido dal provare ad allenare \Nle mie paure irrazionali,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.66,0:02:48.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,affogarle in una pozza di sudore,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.66,0:02:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spingere le imperfezioni di cui dovrei \Nessere fiero sott'acqua:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.18,0:02:53.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,lo spazio tra i denti,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.83,0:02:54.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i capelli crespi,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.80,0:02:56.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,la buffa forma della testa,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.10,0:02:57.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,il peso extra che mi tiene per terra,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.97,0:02:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,i chili mancanti che fanno di me
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.55,0:03:02.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,un aquilone trasportato dal vento,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.14,0:03:04.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,non legato ai muscoli.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.44,0:03:05.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Quindi sì,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.71,0:03:08.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vorrei quel corpo da spiaggia,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.06,0:03:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,quel Channing Tatum,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.54,0:03:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,David Beckham,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.48,0:03:14.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,LL Cool J.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.46,0:03:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Corpo da spiaggia!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.78,0:03:18.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ma siamo stanchi,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.52,0:03:20.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,esausti,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.19,0:03:23.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,di provare ad essere \Nqualcosa che non siamo.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.66,0:03:25.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applausi)