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English version

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(Max) As they say: there are two sides to every coin

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I absolutely agree.

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On one side, you get a job at the trendiest

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and tastiest restaurant of the city.

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On the other hand, it didn't impact the quality of what you eat.

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On one side - you are the respectable patrons of this restaurant,

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but on the other - you will never find out

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what how they really treat you.

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On one hand, you think you are at the most gorgeous

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and peaceful place on earth,

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on the other…

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Chef: - Veal "Palantine" with capers![br]- Yes, Chef!

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Chef: - Two trouts "Tarragon"!

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Chef: - Senya, where is my Bechamel (sauce)? [br]-- Right away, Chef. 20 seconds!

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Chef: And you, what are you standing here for?

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(Sound of falling plates)

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(Max) And finally, on one side, you are two hours late

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and you think you will be crucified,

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but on the other…

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Butthead, I love you!

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He was late. I win. Everyone who bet, fork it over.

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Hurry, hurry! (Laughter)

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Because you have improved my mood in such a horrible day,

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i’m rewarding you with a very important, and more significantly , socially useful work:

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You will...

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...unload groceries. [br]Max: - But Chef!

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Chef: - And don’t thank me; it’s straight from my heart![br]- Chef, I thought I would cook!

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Chef: Look at you. You relied on your two non-existent abilities

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– to think and cook. March!

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Nastya, because of you [br]I will end up with a heart attack!

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Chef, what’s the word for a female Chef? [br]Chefess?

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Mistake of nature.

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Well then, the mistake of nature[br]from the neighbouring restaurant[br]is sitting in the dining lounge.

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Chef: What is s she sniffing here for?

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- Do you want me to ask?[br]Chef: - No need.

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Chef: - What did she order?[br]Nastya: - Coffee.

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That’s it?

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Chef: - What are we? A coffee house?

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- Chef, are you afraid of her?[br]- Yeah right. Why would I be?

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My shoelace was untied.

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Vika: - You didn't get fired yesterday?[br]- Well, first of all, good day.

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Secondly, smoking harms your health.

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Thirdly, who would fire such a specialist? [br]Vika: - Haha

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Wait... Were you really upset that I might leave?

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You will miss me.

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In memory of our wonderful night!

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Hi, Ainura!

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Listen, If anyone here finds out [br]something happened between us, I’ll…

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(voice from the kitchen) - Viktoria Sergeevna![br]- Yes, Kostya.

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Viktoria Sergeevna, the cooktop cleaner at the bar broke down again.

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I told you yesterday that you need to call a repairman.

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Now you’ll have to fix the problem on your own.

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- So the cooktop cleaner is broke?[br]- Yes. Do you know how they work?

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What’s there to know?

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Ar my last job, the cooktop cleander broke down every day.

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I left. I don’t know who can fix it now...

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L-listen, c-can you fix mine?

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In return, I’ll unload everything for you?

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Well, ok.

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(Max): - So, the unloading problem is solved. The only thing left is to find out what a cleentop cleaner is.

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- Good day![br]- Hello!

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- What brings you here?[br]- Work.

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They brought chic dish sets to our restaurant.

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While they’re offloading, I decided to kill a half hour at your place.

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Yes, good tableware often helps.

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And what, you’re not ordering anything?

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Well, I said I wanted to kill time - not myself.

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- Bad joke, huh?[br]- Yeah, but never mind!

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Everybody knows there are two things women can’t do

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– joke and cook.[br](Nastya's laughter)

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I think that a cup of disgusting coffee won’t keep you for too long

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ar our horrible restaurant. Good bye.

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Perhaps, I will order.

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(Chef sighs)

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Oh, fricassee partridge. Chef’s specialty. How intriguing!

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Sasha, take this lady's order.

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Silly cow! And she calls herself a Chef!

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She worked in India!

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There they roll any trash in curry and call it food.

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And where is my knife?

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And what are you doing here? [br]Weren't you designated to unload groceries?

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Everything is fine there. [br]I just need to get to the bar.

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Chef: Who took my knife?

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I repeat:

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Who took MY knife?

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Understood.

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Senya, come here.

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Senya, buddy, isn't it you who took my knife?

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Senya: - No. [br]Chef yelling: - Then who?

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Well, here it how it is, invalids...

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Until you find my knife, none of you will go home!

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Understood?

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(Sasha) Chef, I punched a Partridge Fricassee.

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(Chef yelling) And I won’t cook anything until my knife is found!

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(He slams the door)

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So, everybody looks for the knife. Get to it!

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Listen, what is the problem? Why don't we buy the same knife quickly?

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Buy? Do you have any idea what kind of knife it is?

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Understood? We cannot just buy the same knife

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- What is up with you? Go on – look for the knife![br]- Yes...

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And how the hell this cleentop cooker looks like?

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Oh wow, that’s a C-Keeper?

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I thought it was a cash register.

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Kostya, make two espresso, please.

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Ushastik (Russian cartoon character), what are you doing there?

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I’m the new bartender. They fired Kostya because he doesn’t know shit.

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Yeah right, what are you lecturing me about? I saw you in the kitchen. You’re a cook.

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I have many talents, but in my heart I’m a bartender.

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--

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The bottle was empty; there was no balance. What are you after, coffee?

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Yeah, make two espressos please.

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I’m a bartender too.

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Get outta here. I’ll do it myself.

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Maybe a cup of tea?

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You just asked me that 10 minutes ago. [br]Well, maybe you already want another one.[br]

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Would you mind finding out how things are going with my order?

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Sure.

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Well, will you find out?

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Ah, you want to know right now! Ok.

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Excellent. It’s not ready. It pleases me that

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Dmitri Vladimirovich’s favorite chef refuses to cook.

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(door slams)

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Be happy. Soon you’ll have a new chef,

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provided, of course, the old one doesn’t make his frikken fricassee.

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Let’s make it ourselves.

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If we make his meal, he’ll…we…

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He’ll chew us out, you’re right. Better not risk it.

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And if we don’t make it, he will be fired!

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Exactly, your right, we have to make it.

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Or you’re right. Krap, I’m confused.

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It’s a bad idea.

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As out captain says,

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“better to crap your pants because of a storm, than because of a weather forecast”.

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(something in Kyrgyz)

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Is that good or bad?

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(something in Kyrgyz)

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Is she eating it?[br]Of course she’s eating it, what else is she going to do?[br]

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Miss, can you come here for a second?

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Please call your head chef.

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(something in Kyrgyz), she said something to Sasha.

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Maybe she asked for seconds!

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The guest…the guest requests the chef!

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I warned you!

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You evil prophet!

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Go to Chef’s office.[br]Why me?![br]

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Go! Go!

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I was generally against it from the beginning. Fyeda though the whole thing up. Let him go.

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Why me? You go! You're his right hand. You're his right hand. He won’t touch his right hand.

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Go![br]I’m not going![br]

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Let Luis go. He has nothing to lose, he’s just a Frenchman.

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Listen – let’s write Chef an SMS.

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Write![br]Yeah, we’ll write it [br]

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on our dismissal letter.

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Don’t panic!

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(arguing)

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(knocking)

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Chef!

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What now?

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That attractive neighbor of the future restaurant[br]is calling you.

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You know…the one that you like.

0:11:24.739,0:11:29.179
Aunura, don’t talk nonsense. I don’t like anybody.

0:11:29.776,0:11:31.516
She still hasn’t left?

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How may I be of help?

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I tried your fricassee.

0:11:42.946,0:11:44.616
Well, how did you like it?

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Truthfully?

0:11:48.024,0:11:51.174
You know, I liked it. Yeah, it’s a good recipe.

0:11:51.909,0:11:55.349
Yeah, it’s not really a recipe. There was a partridge left over and we didn’t want to throw it away.

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Oh, I see.

0:11:58.506,0:12:04.836
Well, it was nice to leave your place in good health.

0:12:04.836,0:12:06.367
What, you’re leaving already?

0:12:06.367,0:12:10.037
How unfortunate! Imagine that – I have absolutely no time left.

0:12:10.037,0:12:13.277
Your chef’s special took a very long time to prepare.

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Good bye!

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Not only was my knife stolen,

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but they spoiled my dish too.

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Ah well, you all go to hell!

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Chef...

0:12:43.374,0:12:45.024
Chef, we wanted to make it better.

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I don’t give a damn what you wanted. Do you know what she said about your fricassee?

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? I was disgusting!

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Chef – that’s exactly what I told them!

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The chef’s speciality – disgusting!

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You invalids!

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(door)

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Kostya, did you repair the C-Keeper?

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No, but I'm working on it.

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What are you doing here?[br]Fixing the C-Keeper.[br]

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Get out of the bar! Over there, I said!

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Artyom, call Kostya quickly.

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Why are you standing there? Get out of the bar!

0:13:30.645,0:13:32.235
Ok, ok. What’s gotten into you?

0:13:51.972,0:13:53.132
Yes Vicktoria Sergeevna?

0:13:53.652,0:13:58.512
Kostya, is this normal? Why is there a mess and outsiders in the bar?

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Well it’s just that…he was fixing the C-Keeper.

0:14:02.265,0:14:03.505
Yeah?

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Well then where’s the congac?

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I don’t know.

0:14:18.003,0:14:21.383
Well than who does know? Koctya, do I need to fire you?

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It was there, I saw it.

0:14:28.453,0:14:29.313
That bastard!

0:14:30.362,0:14:31.422
Excuse me, I’ll be right back.

0:14:47.990,0:14:49.540
Listen – where’s the congnac?

0:14:50.305,0:14:52.325
What congac?[br]The 20,000 ruble congac.[br]

0:14:52.386,0:14:54.276
20,000? Oh wow!

0:14:54.906,0:14:56.196
You’ve got a really big problem dude!

0:14:56.466,0:14:57.826
This will really knock you out, dude!

0:14:59.997,0:15:03.397
Listen, you big bull, you’re outta’ control. Have you ever heard “the bigger they are the harder they fall?”

0:15:03.397,0:15:06.647
I’ll take you apart! Do you know how many years I’ve been boxing?

0:15:14.980,0:15:19.640
Lord, I’m so fed up with all this! Why am I always taking it up the ass?

0:15:19.940,0:15:23.080
Why couldn’t I ever, not even once, have a normal day?

0:15:23.080,0:15:25.030
One day, my God!

0:15:31.088,0:15:34.708
(commentator) Spartak ...

0:15:34.708,0:15:36.738
Ari with the ball, he kicks..

0:15:36.738,0:15:38.398
Goal!

0:15:38.790,0:15:39.760
(laughs)

0:15:39.760,0:15:42.440
Literally in the last minute

0:15:42.440,0:15:46.150
Great guy, Ari! He did not leave any change to that Akinfeev!

0:15:50.719,0:15:53.299
It came out somewhat akward.

0:15:54.741,0:15:57.081
What, are you deaf? I haven’t seen your congac!

0:15:57.081,0:15:59.101
There, the bottle was right there in that place.

0:16:01.981,0:16:02.891
Surprised?

0:16:03.428,0:16:06.538
You’re lucky that you caught me offgard. I would have bowled you over for sure.

0:16:07.130,0:16:08.470
I don’t understand.

0:16:08.470,0:16:10.300
(c-keeper turns on)

0:16:11.690,0:16:14.530
Listen, Kostyan, in the meantime I fixed your C-Keeper.

0:16:18.442,0:16:21.812
Old buddy, please forgive me.[br]What does your “please forgive me” mean to me?

0:16:23.120,0:16:25.330
? Your mistake, I know, a big mistake.

0:16:26.130,0:16:29.470
What are you looking at? Make me something fresh. My head is spinning.

0:16:29.525,0:16:30.975
Right away!

0:16:32.698,0:16:35.668
So what do I do now, Arkady.

0:16:35.668,0:16:38.318
. I can’t go out like this as if nothing had happened.

0:16:40.043,0:16:40.883
Or can I?

0:16:43.683,0:16:45.133
Hide it somewhere?

0:16:50.174,0:16:53.014
What are you all standing around for, slackers? Have you found the knife?

0:16:53.720,0:16:55.440
No...

0:17:11.601,0:17:13.731
Lyova come here.[br]Yes chef.[br]

0:17:22.206,0:17:23.786
What?

0:17:25.674,0:17:31.284
What’s with you? You’d do something like that? Why did you take it? He’ll cut you up!

0:17:31.324,0:17:32.854
I didn’t take it. I was inside of the fish.

0:17:33.250,0:17:36.530
Listen, it’s better to stretch it out a while longer and let the chef find it.

0:17:51.505,0:17:54.075
Hey chicken-but, why are you leaving that dirty box here?

0:17:54.907,0:17:56.267
Take it a way quickly!

0:17:56.751,0:17:57.541
Don’t do it again.

0:17:58.318,0:18:00.628
Lyova, has the knife been found?[br]Not yet chef.[br]

0:18:00.973,0:18:03.883
Did they look everywhere?[br]Everywhere.[br]

0:18:04.020,0:18:09.050
Well look! Well, maybe someone cut something and left the knife there,

0:18:09.341,0:18:11.181
well, for example, in a fish.

0:18:12.741,0:18:13.791
In a fish?

0:18:14.499,0:18:18.629
Well, in some meat. I don’t know where. Look everywhere.

0:18:18.976,0:18:19.756
Yes chef.

0:18:30.712,0:18:36.192
(something in Kyrgyz) Hide the knife! If the chef sees it, he’ll cut you up.

0:18:36.710,0:18:38.930
It’s better to let him find it himself. Hide it! Hide it!

0:19:14.539,0:19:15.729
Well, what – did you find it?

0:19:16.194,0:19:18.534
Chef, we looked everywhere, and it isn’t anywhere.

0:19:18.998,0:19:20.828
There was a fish here. Where did it go?

0:19:21.398,0:19:22.768
They took it to the dining hall.

0:19:24.645,0:19:28.205
Chef, you’re being called. They found a knife inside a fish.

0:19:30.821,0:19:34.441
So what? It happens. Once we found a monkey inside a shark.

0:19:35.243,0:19:36.013
Alive.

0:19:39.518,0:19:43.678
Oh, something needs to be done. Two slip-ups in two days.

0:19:43.951,0:19:44.961
They’ll fire me for sure.

0:19:49.421,0:19:50.421
Good evening.

0:19:50.421,0:19:51.471
Hi.

0:19:51.471,0:19:54.841
I’m the head chef of this restaurant. I was told you wanted to see me.

0:19:54.841,0:19:56.961
Yes I did. Can you explain to me what this is?

0:19:57.201,0:19:59.341
Please allow me, Chef.

0:19:59.341,0:20:00.261
What?

0:20:00.261,0:20:03.241
Tell the guests what you told me.

0:20:03.241,0:20:05.251
Good evening. [br]Hi.[br]

0:20:05.251,0:20:08.581
Here is a unique recipe with more than a thousand years of history.

0:20:08.581,0:20:10.839
So lets go back to the time of the crusades.

0:20:10.839,0:20:15.909
War. Hunger. The year 1107. Godfrey of Bouillon passes through the Bosporus

0:20:15.909,0:20:18.639
and invents a unique way of cooking fish

0:20:18.639,0:20:21.279
by skewering it on the edge of a sword.

0:20:21.509,0:20:25.879
The uniformly heated blade gives the fish a refined flavor and aroma.

0:20:26.343,0:20:27.143
Try it.

0:20:30.516,0:20:32.756
Yes, really.

0:20:32.933,0:20:36.713
As I say. It’s real poetry cooking.

0:20:36.713,0:20:40.473
Chef, did I miss anything?[br]No, it’s all correct.[br]

0:20:41.127,0:20:45.737
Excuse me, can I have the same fish?[br]In a minute. Go Max. [br]

0:20:45.968,0:20:47.328
Enjoy your meal.

0:20:47.370,0:20:48.410
Thank you.

0:20:50.224,0:20:52.824
Chef, you called me by my real name.

0:20:52.854,0:20:53.934
Oh yeah, forgive me.

0:20:54.234,0:20:58.864
Chicken-butt, if you go to the dining hall again without my permission, I’ll fire you.

0:21:00.202,0:21:03.252
Understood.[br]Make sure that guy doesn’t steal the knife. [br]

0:21:15.208,0:21:20.888
I warned you. That’s all, bye. I can’t now. I told you I can’t.

0:21:21.224,0:21:23.657
Dima, what happened? Vika, what, are you quitting?

0:21:23.657,0:21:25.697
Yeah, what’s up Vika? What have you got there?

0:21:25.976,0:21:29.976
Dmitri Vladimirovich, God only knows what’s going on in this restaurant.

0:21:30.444,0:21:34.219
As a woman, I can’t oppose Victor Petrovich,

0:21:34.219,0:21:35.139
(phone rings)

0:21:35.139,0:21:37.079
and he breaks all the rules.

0:21:37.079,0:21:41.079
Yes. I’m tired of this. I told you I can’t now. Ok.

0:21:41.079,0:21:43.739
Please, I have to run, so quickly Vika.

0:21:43.739,0:21:50.529
Yes, ok. Maxim Lavrov started work as a cook in the kitchen yesterday. I want him fired.

0:21:50.807,0:21:52.667
But for what reason? Why? Is he a complete idiot?

0:21:52.667,0:21:55.297
Yes. Today he made a mess in the bar.

0:21:55.640,0:21:58.090
Smashed a bottle of liquor, glasses, and broke the coffee machine.

0:21:58.090,0:22:00.290
Kostya, is that true?

0:22:00.461,0:22:05.621
Sorry, sorry, actually it's my fault. I asked Max to fix the C-Keeper.

0:22:06.122,0:22:07.402
Incidentally, he repaired it.

0:22:08.799,0:22:13.109
The coffee machine is running, and the bottle was almost empty.

0:22:13.116,0:22:14.516
Well, thank God, guys,

0:22:14.516,0:22:18.226
the C-Keeper works. I love happy endings like this.

0:22:18.226,0:22:19.986
So, everything’s alright. I can run…

0:22:19.986,0:22:23.266
No, everything isn’t alright. He also approached some guests in the dining hall.

0:22:23.266,0:22:26.756
I asked him to do that. We presented a new dish.

0:22:26.756,0:22:29.096
Generally, he’s a good guy. Intelligent.

0:22:29.096,0:22:32.346
A regular guy. And when he’s not smiling his face isn’t goofy.

0:22:34.013,0:22:38.013
. Anything else, Vick?[br]Yes. Today he also started a fight.[br]

0:22:38.480,0:22:42.290
Hey now! I don’t like fighting in our restaurant.

0:22:42.513,0:22:43.323
Is it true?

0:22:43.323,0:22:44.993
Yeah, we were just fooling around…

0:22:44.993,0:22:50.203
Fooling around? Fooling around…Just a second, I filmed the whole thing. Here.

0:22:50.408,0:22:54.408
Thanks to Vika, who films everything in her life.

0:22:54.978,0:23:00.528
(on the video) Max, are you filming? Stop it.

0:23:00.651,0:23:03.071
Sh-h-h…We haven’t finished watching it yet.

0:23:03.071,0:23:04.521
Yeah. We find it interesting too.

0:23:04.521,0:23:07.571
This beauty should have been documented.

0:23:07.571,0:23:08.871
We still haven’t finished watching it.

0:23:08.871,0:23:12.271
I like it. I love these kinds of movies. Arms, legs, screaming.

0:23:12.354,0:23:16.324
Well, what kind of fight is this? It’s not a fight – you aren’t even resisting.

0:23:16.836,0:23:18.836
So there’s no reason to fire him for that.

0:23:18.892,0:23:23.472
. Thank you very much. I hope that you won’t bother me over such trifles anymore.

0:23:23.472,0:23:27.362
Yes, I saw my goodbyes to you. Not to you, idiot.

0:23:27.362,0:23:31.652
What are you whining about? Yes, I hear you. Yes, yes. Speak.

0:23:34.979,0:23:39.449
Know this, fools, and don’t let anybody else find out about it.

0:23:39.449,0:23:42.584
Vika is a bitch, of course, but she’s not the worst art director.

0:23:42.584,0:23:45.204
She still has to work here. Understood?

0:23:47.551,0:23:51.551
There you have it. Every coin has two sides,

0:23:51.699,0:23:53.809
and one day everything can turn around.

0:23:55.511,0:23:58.861
The one you liked starts to hate you.

0:24:05.491,0:24:09.491
The one who hit you in the face becomes your friend.

0:24:10.639,0:24:15.639
The one who seemed like an angry tyrant becomes less so.