[Script Info] Title: [Events] Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.88,0:00:14.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey God it's me Ellen Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.49,0:00:15.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can I ask you a question? Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.99,0:00:17.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how do I tell my friend Oprah Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.57,0:00:18.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she's gonna get more whipped Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.60,0:00:19.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than Stedman Dialogue: 0,0:00:19.42,0:00:20.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll make her head spin Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.28,0:00:21.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when it comes to rhymes Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.16,0:00:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got a penchant Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.97,0:00:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so if battling me is your intention Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.48,0:00:24.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I better mention Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.41,0:00:26.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're bout to get licked by a lesbian Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.27,0:00:28.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,oh I'll knock you off of your throne Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.10,0:00:29.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,take a shot at everything you OWN Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.49,0:00:31.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.13,0:00:32.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think you better just leave her alone Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.50,0:00:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can tell Rachael Ray Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.12,0:00:35.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that my favorite recipe Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.56,0:00:37.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is chopping Oprah Winfrey up Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.13,0:00:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into a million little pieces Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.45,0:00:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the Queen of TV Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.62,0:00:42.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'm here to destroy ya Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.51,0:00:43.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so check under your seat Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.77,0:00:45.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I got something for ya Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.95,0:00:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't even hope Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.13,0:00:48.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be as half as dope as Oprah Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.87,0:00:50.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll attract my hands Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.02,0:00:50.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,around your throat Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.75,0:00:52.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Deepak choke ya Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.57,0:00:54.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,girl your show's a petting zoo Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.12,0:00:55.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you do a week on kittens Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.44,0:00:57.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you dance like a chicken Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.08,0:00:58.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who snuck into Drunk Kitchen Dialogue: 0,0:00:58.63,0:01:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you played a fish with brain damage Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.37,0:01:02.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a nominated actress Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.02,0:01:03.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,name's synonymous with power Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.62,0:01:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,spell it forwards or backwards Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.73,0:01:07.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes you've got that power Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.14,0:01:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and yes I've got those kittens Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.90,0:01:10.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also feature puppies Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.28,0:01:11.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,talented children Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.34,0:01:11.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and mittens Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.95,0:01:13.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I like cute things that make people smile Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.89,0:01:15.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,make everybody feel good for a while Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.58,0:01:17.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,do a little dance and the crowd goes wild Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.23,0:01:18.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kick you right back to the miracle mile Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.88,0:01:20.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I thought I told ya Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.33,0:01:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your daytime reign is over Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.89,0:01:23.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm jumping over Oprah Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.42,0:01:25.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.14,0:01:26.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from ABC to LGBT Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.88,0:01:28.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to NBC and now it's all me Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.54,0:01:29.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm the best emcee Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.38,0:01:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the biggest star Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.17,0:01:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I'll bite you in the ass Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.99,0:01:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the tax on a free car Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.27,0:01:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your mouth is writing checks Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.50,0:01:35.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your mullet can't cash lady Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.42,0:01:36.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll lodge my fabulous shoe Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.97,0:01:38.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,up your suit pants baby Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.86,0:01:40.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you follow my lead Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.34,0:01:42.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,cause I paved the road for ya Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.01,0:01:43.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you drive behind me Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.16,0:01:44.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in a secondhand Porsche Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.76,0:01:46.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,check the Fortune 500 Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.45,0:01:47.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm a media wonder Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.80,0:01:49.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Dalai Lama and Obama Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.68,0:01:51.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,memorize my cell number Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.86,0:01:52.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,try to beef with me Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.79,0:01:55.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll make the whole market crash honey Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.06,0:01:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,once you go Oprah Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.52,0:01:58.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can't go back Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.79,0:02:00.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who won? Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.43,0:02:01.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Who's next? Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.99,0:02:04.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You decide