1
00:00:12,754 --> 00:00:14,586
Hey God it's me Ellen

2
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:15,988
can I ask you a question?

3
00:00:15,988 --> 00:00:17,543
how do I tell my friend Oprah

4
00:00:17,543 --> 00:00:18,740
she's gonna get more whipped

5
00:00:18,740 --> 00:00:19,486
than Stedman

6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:20,325
I'll make her head spin

7
00:00:20,325 --> 00:00:21,165
when it comes to rhymes

8
00:00:21,165 --> 00:00:21,951
I got a penchant

9
00:00:21,951 --> 00:00:23,363
so if battling me is your intention

10
00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:24,367
I better mention

11
00:00:24,367 --> 00:00:26,341
you're bout to get licked by a lesbian

12
00:00:26,341 --> 00:00:27,898
oh I'll knock you off of your throne

13
00:00:27,898 --> 00:00:29,523
take a shot at everything you OWN

14
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:31,129
I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say

15
00:00:31,129 --> 00:00:32,622
I think you better just leave her alone

16
00:00:32,622 --> 00:00:34,085
you can tell Rachael Ray

17
00:00:34,085 --> 00:00:35,538
that my favorite recipe

18
00:00:35,538 --> 00:00:37,226
is chopping Oprah Winfrey up

19
00:00:37,226 --> 00:00:39,446
into a million little pieces

20
00:00:39,446 --> 00:00:40,592
I'm the Queen of TV

21
00:00:40,592 --> 00:00:42,218
and I'm here to destroy ya

22
00:00:42,218 --> 00:00:43,721
so check under your seat

23
00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,923
because I got something for ya

24
00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:47,129
you can't even hope

25
00:00:47,129 --> 00:00:48,848
to be as half as dope as Oprah

26
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:49,983
I'll attract my hands

27
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:50,853
around your throat

28
00:00:50,853 --> 00:00:52,479
and Deepak choke ya

29
00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,178
girl your show's a petting zoo

30
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,549
you do a week on kittens

31
00:00:55,549 --> 00:00:56,745
and you dance like a chicken

32
00:00:56,745 --> 00:00:58,711
who snuck into Drunk Kitchen

33
00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:00,337
you played a fish with brain damage

34
00:01:00,337 --> 00:01:02,023
I'm a nominated actress

35
00:01:02,023 --> 00:01:03,673
name's synonymous with power

36
00:01:03,673 --> 00:01:04,868
spell it forwards or backwards

37
00:01:04,868 --> 00:01:07,007
Yes you've got that power

38
00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:08,561
and yes I've got those kittens

39
00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:10,280
I also feature puppies

40
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,283
talented children

41
00:01:11,283 --> 00:01:12,931
and mittens

42
00:01:12,931 --> 00:01:13,892
I like cute things that make people smile

43
00:01:13,892 --> 00:01:15,518
make everybody feel good for a while

44
00:01:15,518 --> 00:01:17,228
do a little dance and the crowd goes wild

45
00:01:17,228 --> 00:01:18,945
kick you right back to the miracle mile

46
00:01:18,945 --> 00:01:20,237
I thought I told ya

47
00:01:20,237 --> 00:01:21,894
your daytime reign is over

48
00:01:21,894 --> 00:01:23,416
I'm jumping over Oprah

49
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,094
like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa

50
00:01:25,094 --> 00:01:27,079
from ABC to LGBT

51
00:01:27,079 --> 00:01:28,717
to NBC and now it's all me

52
00:01:28,717 --> 00:01:29,749
I'm the best emcee

53
00:01:29,749 --> 00:01:30,373
and the biggest star

54
00:01:30,373 --> 00:01:31,060
and I'll bite you in the ass

55
00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:32,214
like the tax on a free car

56
00:01:32,214 --> 00:01:33,647
Your mouth is writing checks

57
00:01:33,647 --> 00:01:35,335
your mullet can't cash lady

58
00:01:35,335 --> 00:01:36,717
I'll lodge my fabulous shoe

59
00:01:36,717 --> 00:01:38,519
up your suit pants baby

60
00:01:38,519 --> 00:01:40,175
you follow my lead

61
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:42,057
cause I paved the road for ya

62
00:01:42,057 --> 00:01:43,868
you drive behind me

63
00:01:43,868 --> 00:01:44,676
in a secondhand Porsche

64
00:01:44,676 --> 00:01:46,302
check the fortune 500

65
00:01:46,302 --> 00:01:47,684
I'm a media wonder

66
00:01:47,684 --> 00:01:49,699
the Dalai Lama and Obama

67
00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:51,642
memorize my cell number

68
00:01:51,642 --> 00:01:52,870
try to beef with me

69
00:01:52,870 --> 00:01:54,937
I'll make the whole market crash honey

70
00:01:54,937 --> 00:01:56,595
once you go Oprah

71
00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:58,056
you can't go back

72
00:01:58,056 --> 00:02:00,279
Who won?

73
00:02:00,279 --> 00:02:02,026
Who's next?

74
00:02:02,026 --> 00:02:04,001
You decide