1
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:13,032
You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark

2
00:00:13,032 --> 00:00:14,719
cause we cut a path through MCs

3
00:00:14,719 --> 00:00:15,989
like a walk in the park

4
00:00:15,989 --> 00:00:17,276
then give 'em back a whole stack

5
00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:18,661
of maps and accurate charts

6
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:20,090
showing exactly where our footprints

7
00:00:20,090 --> 00:00:21,494
on their buttocks are marked

8
00:00:21,494 --> 00:00:22,855
we're two traveling wordsmiths

9
00:00:22,855 --> 00:00:24,296
spitting hotter than a furnace

10
00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:25,532
and we'll own you on the mic

11
00:00:25,532 --> 00:00:26,916
like the Louisiana Purchase

12
00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:27,541
you're worthless

13
00:00:27,541 --> 00:00:29,575
your future selves should'a told you that

14
00:00:29,575 --> 00:00:30,721
now go back in time and give

15
00:00:30,721 --> 00:00:32,419
Doctor Who his phone booth back

16
00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:33,810
we discovered bears and beavers

17
00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:35,130
and prairie dogs and weasels

18
00:00:35,130 --> 00:00:36,470
rattlesnakes and catfish

19
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,771
owls, larks and eagles

20
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,111
and plus flora galore

21
00:00:39,111 --> 00:00:40,552
and according to our observations

22
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:41,911
these two dickweeds right here

23
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,423
are severely endangered

24
00:00:43,423 --> 00:00:44,643
we inspired pioneers

25
00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:46,088
and travelers near and far

26
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,345
you inspired air guitar

27
00:00:47,345 --> 00:00:48,696
and Dude Where's My Car

28
00:00:48,696 --> 00:00:50,205
we conquered much greater dangers

29
00:00:50,205 --> 00:00:51,469
in our trek through Mother Nature

30
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:52,161
so step off

31
00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:53,414
but tell Bill's stepmom

32
00:00:53,414 --> 00:00:54,598
don't be a stranger

33
00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:55,640
Bill's mom is hot

34
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,161
but that joke was most heinous

35
00:00:57,161 --> 00:00:58,381
I've heard better insults

36
00:00:58,381 --> 00:00:59,767
drop from Socrates' anus

37
00:00:59,767 --> 00:01:00,874
that's my step mom Ted

38
00:01:00,874 --> 00:01:02,582
let's keep it excellent between us

39
00:01:02,582 --> 00:01:03,794
and show these boy scouts

40
00:01:03,794 --> 00:01:05,403
how it goes in San Dimas

41
00:01:05,403 --> 00:01:06,326
we're quick when we spit

42
00:01:06,326 --> 00:01:07,735
like Billy the Kid with his guns

43
00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,063
and you'll be verbally kicked

44
00:01:09,063 --> 00:01:11,132
in the nut-Sacagawea puns

45
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:13,199
a teen mom carried you and your troops

46
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,660
they should have let the baby lead

47
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,002
and put you in the papoose

48
00:01:16,002 --> 00:01:17,383
and if those native dudes knew

49
00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:18,755
what white dudes were gonna do

50
00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,166
they woulda stopped you in Dakota

51
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:21,407
they should totally Sioux

52
00:01:21,407 --> 00:01:22,894
why don't you go back to exploring

53
00:01:22,894 --> 00:01:24,228
Napoleon's old swamps

54
00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:25,466
or you'll discover your Corps

55
00:01:25,466 --> 00:01:27,042
most triumphantly stomped

56
00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:28,513
Did you hear that Meriwether?

57
00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:29,654
I think they mean to brawl

58
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:30,643
I'll take Neo

59
00:01:30,643 --> 00:01:31,448
I'll take the one that

60
00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:32,464
no one knows at all

61
00:01:32,464 --> 00:01:33,810
from the falls of Black Eagle

62
00:01:33,810 --> 00:01:35,070
to the Pacific

63
00:01:35,070 --> 00:01:36,534
we put the dis in dysentery

64
00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:38,027
cause we spit sick...

65
00:01:38,027 --> 00:01:39,226
without Rufus you'd be useless

66
00:01:39,226 --> 00:01:40,452
on the trails we blazed

67
00:01:40,452 --> 00:01:41,813
you couldn't navigate your way

68
00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:43,213
out of a Circle K

69
00:01:43,213 --> 00:01:44,524
send over Garth and Wayne

70
00:01:44,524 --> 00:01:46,394
because you turkeys aren't worthy

71
00:01:46,394 --> 00:01:47,790
suffering your raps is a

72
00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:49,229
most bogus journey

73
00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:50,529
Man they totally burned us

74
00:01:50,529 --> 00:01:51,635
I feel like such a doofus

75
00:01:51,635 --> 00:01:52,304
what do we do

76
00:01:52,304 --> 00:01:52,837
I don't know

77
00:01:52,837 --> 00:01:53,731
be excellent

78
00:01:53,731 --> 00:01:54,521
Rufus!

79
00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:55,343
he's right dude

80
00:01:55,343 --> 00:01:57,015
we don't have to take this kind of abuse

81
00:01:57,015 --> 00:01:58,404
from some Paul Bunyan dudes

82
00:01:58,404 --> 00:01:59,624
in potato sack shoes

83
00:01:59,624 --> 00:02:01,266
you rode a river one direction

84
00:02:01,266 --> 00:02:02,664
we travel four dimensions

85
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:03,778
rescue bodacious babes

86
00:02:03,778 --> 00:02:05,053
and get back for detention

87
00:02:05,053 --> 00:02:06,610
I've seen your future Mr. Lewis

88
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,041
and I don't want to be rude

89
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:08,872
but spoiler alert

90
00:02:08,872 --> 00:02:10,662
you totally kill yourself dude

91
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,846
so we offer you peace

92
00:02:11,846 --> 00:02:13,376
with these resplendent medallions

93
00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:14,794
and we claim this battle

94
00:02:14,794 --> 00:02:16,721
for the Wyld Stallyns

95
00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:18,181
Who won?

96
00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:19,616
Who's next?

97
00:02:19,616 --> 00:02:21,229
You decide