1
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You can't be starting with Lewis and Clark

2
00:00:13,032 --> 00:00:14,719
cause we cut a path through MCs

3
00:00:14,719 --> 00:00:16,019
like a walk in the park

4
00:00:16,019 --> 00:00:17,276
then give 'em back a whole stack

5
00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:18,661
of maps and accurate charts

6
00:00:18,661 --> 00:00:20,090
showing exactly where our footprints

7
00:00:20,090 --> 00:00:21,544
on their buttocks are marked

8
00:00:21,544 --> 00:00:22,935
we're two traveling wordsmiths

9
00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:24,296
spitting hotter than a furnace

10
00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:25,532
and we'll own you on the mic

11
00:00:25,532 --> 00:00:26,916
like the Louisiana Purchase

12
00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:27,631
you're worthless

13
00:00:27,631 --> 00:00:29,575
your future selves should'a told you that

14
00:00:29,575 --> 00:00:30,771
now go back in time and give

15
00:00:30,771 --> 00:00:32,419
Doctor Who his phone booth back

16
00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:33,850
we discovered bears and beavers

17
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,140
and prairie dogs and weasels

18
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:36,460
rattlesnakes and catfish

19
00:00:36,460 --> 00:00:37,831
owls, larks and eagles

20
00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:39,151
and plus flora galore

21
00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:40,552
and according to our observations

22
00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:41,871
these two dickweeds right here

23
00:00:41,871 --> 00:00:43,303
are severely endangered

24
00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:44,623
we inspired pioneers

25
00:00:44,623 --> 00:00:46,118
and travelers near and far

26
00:00:46,118 --> 00:00:47,345
you inspired air guitar

27
00:00:47,345 --> 00:00:48,696
and Dude Where's My Car

28
00:00:48,696 --> 00:00:50,065
we conquered much greater dangers

29
00:00:50,065 --> 00:00:51,529
in our trek through Mother Nature

30
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,531
so step off

31
00:00:52,531 --> 00:00:53,454
but tell Bill's stepmom

32
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:54,598
don't be a stranger

33
00:00:54,598 --> 00:00:55,570
Bill's mom is hot

34
00:00:55,570 --> 00:00:56,921
but that joke was most heinous

35
00:00:56,921 --> 00:00:58,291
I've heard better insults

36
00:00:58,291 --> 00:00:59,837
drop from Socrates' anus

37
00:00:59,837 --> 00:01:00,994
that's my step mom Ted

38
00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:02,682
let's keep it excellent between us

39
00:01:02,682 --> 00:01:03,794
and show these boy scouts

40
00:01:03,794 --> 00:01:05,403
how it goes in San Dimas

41
00:01:05,403 --> 00:01:06,466
we're quick when we spit

42
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:07,775
like Billy the Kid with his guns

43
00:01:07,775 --> 00:01:09,033
and you'll be verbally kicked

44
00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:11,132
in the nut-Sacagawea puns

45
00:01:11,132 --> 00:01:13,199
a teen mom carried you and your troops

46
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,660
they should have let the baby lead

47
00:01:14,660 --> 00:01:16,042
and put you in the papoose

48
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,383
and if those native dudes knew

49
00:01:17,383 --> 00:01:18,765
what white dudes were gonna do

50
00:01:18,765 --> 00:01:20,196
they woulda stopped you in Dakota

51
00:01:20,196 --> 00:01:21,587
they should totally Sioux

52
00:01:21,587 --> 00:01:22,824
why don't you go back to exploring

53
00:01:22,824 --> 00:01:24,238
Napoleon's old swamps

54
00:01:24,238 --> 00:01:25,526
or you'll discover your Corps

55
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most triumphantly stomped

56
00:01:27,152 --> 00:01:28,513
Did you hear that Meriwether?

57
00:01:28,513 --> 00:01:29,874
I think they mean to brawl

58
00:01:29,874 --> 00:01:30,713
I'll take Neo

59
00:01:30,713 --> 00:01:31,458
I'll take the one that

60
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,464
no one knows at all

61
00:01:32,464 --> 00:01:33,690
from the falls of Black Eagle

62
00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:35,060
to the Pacific

63
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,574
we put the dis in dysentery

64
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cause we spit sick...

65
00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,256
without Rufus you'd be useless

66
00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:40,452
on the trails we blazed

67
00:01:40,452 --> 00:01:41,853
you couldn't navigate your way

68
00:01:41,853 --> 00:01:43,173
out of a Circle K

69
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send over Garth and Wayne

70
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because you turkeys aren't worthy

71
00:01:46,354 --> 00:01:47,510
suffering your raps is a

72
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most bogus journey

73
00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:50,569
Man they totally burned us

74
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,725
I feel like such a doofus

75
00:01:51,725 --> 00:01:52,464
what do we do

76
00:01:52,464 --> 00:01:53,017
I don't know

77
00:01:53,017 --> 00:01:53,731
be excellent

78
00:01:53,731 --> 00:01:54,551
Rufus!

79
00:01:54,551 --> 00:01:55,563
he's right dude

80
00:01:55,563 --> 00:01:56,995
we don't have to take this kind of abuse

81
00:01:56,995 --> 00:01:58,334
from some Paul Bunyan dudes

82
00:01:58,334 --> 00:01:59,654
in potato sack shoes

83
00:01:59,654 --> 00:02:01,086
you rode a river one direction

84
00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:02,304
we travel four dimensions

85
00:02:02,304 --> 00:02:03,728
rescue bodacious babes

86
00:02:03,728 --> 00:02:05,383
and get back for detention

87
00:02:05,383 --> 00:02:06,540
I've seen your future Mr. Lewis

88
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:07,971
and I don't want to be rude

89
00:02:07,971 --> 00:02:08,842
but spoiler alert

90
00:02:08,842 --> 00:02:10,662
you totally kill yourself dude

91
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:11,756
so we offer you peace

92
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,046
with these resplendent medallions

93
00:02:13,046 --> 00:02:14,734
and we claim this battle

94
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:15,901
for the Wyld Stallyns

95
00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:18,061
Who won?

96
00:02:18,061 --> 00:02:19,686
Who's next?

97
00:02:19,686 --> 00:02:21,619
You decide